Bachelor chow recipes -

[Lipitor]

Guys you know what I'm talking about? Those I'm cooking for one and no one's watching kinda meals. The I'd rather have more time for sports and shit posting so it's gotta be easy to prepare meals. But you've eaten prepackaged meals all week so you want something that resembles real food. Share your bachelor recipes here.

I'll go first:

Making pizza bagels is a healthier alternative to frozen digorno pizzas you will either not finish or consume entirely in a fit of loneliness and despair. It's also cheaper and quicker.

Here's all you need:
Presliced bagels
Olive oil (optional)
Canned pizza sauce
Preshredded pizza cheese
Toppings you like.

All ya gotta do:

You can toast a bagel slice if you want a crisper crust..
1. Pour some olive oil around the open part of the bagel.. you don't have to do this, but it feels fancier.
2. Use a spoon and spread the canned pizza sauce on the open face of bagel.
3. Cover that shit up with a layer of cheese.
4. Add any topping you like.
5. Shit I always forget to start this before the prep phase. Whatevs, you were suppose to preheat oven to 350 F.
6. Throw that shit in there for 6-7 minutes.. it's fucking pizza, just check on it. When the cheese is all melted it's done.

Now you have some bachelor chow and only spent like 10 mins getting it ready. Fuck Yeah. If you just want a snack just do one slice, for a meal do 2 slices.. crippling gluttony make the whole bag.. who gives a fuck the total amount you'll spend here is 6 bucks for about 6 meals. Quick and cheap.

 

[XYZpdq]

1) pork or beef, big chunks
2) oven at 250
3) drown them in bbq sauce and a beer
4) forget about them for a few hours
5) turn off the oven
6) forget about it for another hour or so
easy and cheap

 

[Pikonic]

American Goulash
1lb ground beef
1 box desired pasta (usually macaroni)
Desired amount of pasta sauce

Cook beef
Drain beef
Cook pasta
Drain pasta
Mix everything together

Eat for 3 days

 

[Mariposa Electrique]

Bachelorette Chow: Just add water, tears, and facebook photos of other people getting married.

 

[_blank_]

--------------------------For Breakfast...

The Fuck You I Give Up:

• 1 bowl
• dry one-minute oatmeal (not the kind in packets, the kind that has CWC on the front)
• peanut butter (usually creamy, chunky if you're a sociopath)
• raisins or chocolate chips of dried coconut flakes or whatever the well... Craisins I guess.

Put in as much oatmeal and raisins as you'd like into a bowl. Add a heaping spoonful of peanut butter. Stir that motherfucker until all the oatmeal, fruit shit, and peanut butter is one giant amorphous blob. Stick in face- delicious.

--------------------------For Lunch...

The Egg Fart

• A pot
• Some water
  
• Creamy Chicken Ramen (other ramen flavors can be substituted, but this one works best IMO).
• 1 egg

Put about 2-3 cups of water in a pot to boil. Boil that sumbitch. This may be done with an oven, or concentrated hate beams. Once boiling, throw in Ramen and spice packet... make sure to take out of packaging. Boil that sumbitch for about 3 minutes. Once the Ramen is beginning to look noodle-y, crack and pour in egg. DO NOT STIR THE FUCKING EGG YOU GODDAMN HOBO. YOU LET IT SIT.

Let the egg cook it the bottom of the hate water for about 5-10 minutes. If you're feeling fancy, toss in some green onions. Once the egg is thoroughly poached, drain the broth (if you desire) and consume. Delicious chicken murder.

---------------------------For Dinner...

Delicious Peasantry

A cutting board
A sharp implement, like a knife.
Ziploc baggie
Baking sheet
Potatos... like... 2 or 3 of them. Russet, Red, Yukon, whatever.
Hot Dogs or heat & eat sausages (Johnsonville usually works best)
A fuckton of spices
Onion
Olive Oil.

Preheat oven to about 425. Cut potatoes length wise so they look like fat steak fries. Throw them all in a ziploc baggie and pour some olive oil. Shake that sumbitch, get them taters all good and oiled up for their slow ride to hell. Place taters on baking sheet, preferably skin sides down. Cover them with whatever spices you like (I prefer garlic powder, rosemary, thyme, parsely, and oregano because I'm a spicy Scorpio). Next, slice up the sausages into 1/2 inch segments or whatever. Bite-size 'em. You can use as many sausages as you like. Same with the onion, cut up as much as you can handle. Cover taters with sliced up sausages and onions. Throw in over for 20-30 minutes or until the taters are crisped at the edges.

 

[Jaded Optimist]

A fuckton of spices

Is that a metric or imperial fuckton?

 

[_blank_]

Is that a metric or imperial fuckton?

To Oblivion with the Imperials. It's an Aldmeri fuckton.

 

[shibbolethal]

a sandwich that i eat and its good

bacon (i use 2 thick cut strips because you get less shrinkage but any kind will do)
2-3 eggs
bread (dont use flimsy white bread if u can. it kind of works, but its just not a good holder)
a toaster
a pan

cook your bacon!! get a little bit of the bacon grease if u can that stuff is worth saving. u dont have to clean ur pan after u cook it but let it cool down a little bit. add a little bit of cooking spray or butter or whatever to the pan. cook your eggs to your preference (i prefer scrambled) and put some salt n pepper on those babies. toast bread. assemble into sandwich. eat

 

[_blank_]

Oh, and speaking of sandwiches... Sinner's Sandwiches...

It isn't a lie. It's good. It's like, really, impossibly stupid good, especially with Corn Flakes.

 

[AnOminous]

Seriously, quesadillas.

Toast tortillas.

Put cheese between tortillas. You can also throw in meat or hot peppers here.

Melt them.

Eat them.

 

[about:blank]

El Monterey burritos + canned beans or chili + salsa + sour cream + cheese.

 

[Mason Verger]

Canned corn beef, mix in one egg, some salsa. Serve w/ rice or instant mash. Huge, savory meal for 4$.

 

[XYZpdq]

tortillas in the toaster because you forgot to get hamburger buns

 

[Bassomatic]

I'm so upset none of you listed a random ass casserole.

Box of what ever noodles are cheap
Jar of cheap red pasta sauce
Cheap ass meat

casserole dish into oven
wait
???
profit.

 

[Jaded Optimist]

Throw pork chops in a pan (cast iron)
Cook em' up
Add a can of cheap cream of mushroom soup
cook till bubbly
throw it over whatever noodles.

Takes less then ten minutes, no real prep, super cheap, makes multiple meals, tastes like delicious.

 

[Bustcakes]

No I totally made this from scratch clam chowder

1 can chunky/hearty clam chowder (don't use Progresso, Campbell's works best for me)
1 small onion (or however much onion you want, just make sure to chop it)
1 stalk celery (chopped)
1-2 pieces of bacon (this doesn't have to be chopped, just cut up)
1 tablespoon or so of butter, can be more generous

Melt butter in saucepan, add onion and celery and stir until the onions are clear. Plop in the can of clam chowder. Cook bacon, cut bacon, add to chowder. Eat.

If you double the recipe, it'll last you a weekend of lunch/dinners. If you like your clam chowder, well, extra clammy, throw in a can of clams (predictably), just make sure to drain the can. They'll be in the canned meats aisle.

 

[meatslab]

Make a quesadilla with a sliced up hot dog as your meat. Consume dogadilla and think about what a fat shit you are.