Bad Writing Advice -


it takes a really high iq to understand validate
Always write in blocks of text. No spacing. Never. Everything is condensed into a paragraph, this makes it easier to parse and understand.

Plot wise? Your character should be easily described in one word that is a physical attribute/minority/diversity/sexuality. They shouldn't be challenged whether in the setting or around their peers. Happy endings, always.

M'aiq the Liar

Khajiit Going His Own Way
Make sure that the audience knows your protagonist is super special despite being just a regular guy, and has some vague tragic background that justifies any shitty behavior. This background is also essential for creating an underdog protagonist, even though he has an untapped well of power stronger than basically anyone. Because he is so strong, don't bother making him smart or anything because he can just power through with brute force. Actually, clever battle tactics are a huge waste of time since nobody really pays attention. Only total losers use any sort of foresight or strategy. Plot armor is your friend.

If you accidentally create likeable characters that have overcome genuine obstacles and changed their behavior, that won't be a problem. Just relegate them to the background cast and make sure they only show up now and again to remind the audience that they exist. ALWAYS REMEMBER: Even if they are a villain turned good they should NEVER apologize or reflect on their past actions. That was the PAST and they are GOOD now.

Speaking of villains, don't give them any motives or reasoning besides, like, being evil. Diving into a major character's backstory or perspective is a massive waste of time and will confuse your audience too much, so just make them extremely evil/homoerotic and call it a day. They probably just need a good talking-to and an epic smackdown to become a good guy after all.

Women are very important to a story - they have tits and ass, after all. Thus, giving them a real personality would only detract from the true appeal of the character, actually try to give them the most repulsive personality as possible. There are three tried and true options: give them the opinions and independence of a five year old who depends on a man constantly, give them the outfit and attitude of a hard leather dominatrix that enjoys seeing men in extreme pain, or make them a selfish bitch who gets into catfights over some guy. Every other character should be completely ok with this; they are women, after all. Your male audience will completely love this, and any women who say otherwise are just jealous they aren't as hot as your fictional waifus.

In short, men strong, women hot, villains bad. Do NOT deviate from this if you want anyone to like your work, EVER.

South American Tapir

Dumb people haul trash around
Include shoe-horned references to other, more successful works! Bonus points if you use dead memes!

Nothing beats a character saying, "It's over 9000!", "The cake is a lie!", or "Wubba-Lubba-Dub-Dub!" for no reason other than to show that yes, you did see that show/play that game, and yes, you did think that line was awesome!
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Doctor Placebo

Soleimani's back. Tell a friend.
use the most visited tvtropes pages to determine your plot characters and setting, don't ever read real books because they suck and are boring anyway
Or if reading from a website is too much trouble, just take your favorite anime or cartoon show, change a few things and add in a character who's an idealized version of you. Or if you're feeling particularly ambitious, take two of your favorite anime or cartoon shows and combine elements of both! Don't worry too much about if they make any sense together. Don't worry that people will think everything you're writing is a worse version of a popular franchise with no original ideas either. Nobody ever notices that sort of thing.

1) Make sure to have inconsistent formatting. One moment things seem fine and perfectly spaced, the next shit gets shoved into one fucking paragraph.
2) Spend six pages writing a scene where a character comes out as LGBTQ+ (I'm looking at you, Sarah J Maas. Refer to "A Court of Wings and Ruin"). Now homophobia is no more!
3) Rely on mental illnesses to create a dynamic character. Might as well add in a tragic backstory.
4) More on the nitpicky side, but ALWAYS make sure to have at least two suitors for your MC. Because each (YA) novel needs the love triangle trope otherwise it's fucking boring.