Surgery Balls to the Wall - Predictions of the Great Neutering of 2016 -

[Null]

Discuss.

Phil has shut down his facebook and refuses to use public transit.
https://kiwifarms.net/threads/2016-feb-26-defcon-2-phil-quitting-facebook-until-surgery-over.17876/

 

[JU 199]

ADF pulls a trump and defies expectations.

 

[Melkor]

The whole thing is a

 

[Skeletor]

The "Mr. T ate my balls" meme is over 20 years old.

 

[exball]

He kills himself after the operation.

 

[Kusottare]

they cut off his balls but replace his brain with them

 

[sugoi-chan]

No surgery, but he'll show up after a day or two of silence and complain about how much pain he's in but how good he feels about having gotten the Mini Spuds removed. He's going to farm for asspats by claiming that he struck a definitive blow for translatinxes everywhere. He may even brag about escaping Kiwi Agents for the duration of the snippining.

That'll carry on for a few months until the Kiwilluminati finds evidence, somehow, of him still being ball-ified, triggering a spergdown.

 

[Meatman]

His balls are snipped off, but they grow large, grow limbs, eyes, mouths, noses and ears, resulting in them gaining sentience and trying to enact their revenge on ADF
This triggers ADF, which makes him post that his "masculinity still follows me everywhere "

 

[2spooky]

Liar liar, pants on fire.

That's probably the only thing that could cleanse them now, honestly.

 

[Hanamura]

Our kiwi surgeon implants the extra testicles and the surgery is a success

 

[Falcon Lord]

they cut off his balls but replace his brain with them

What brain?

 

[Admiral Piett]

If he does get it done then good for Phil, he's sterilized himself so #gamergate doesn't have to.

But if Phil doesn't, then he'd find some way to blame MRA's and the patriarchy for his problems.

 

[The Man With No Name]

Regardless of the state of his balls, he'll still be unable to properly mount a bicycle.

 

[Piga Dgrifm]

He cuts them off himself, blames Kiwi-Farms when it hurts.

 

[JU 199]

Regardless of the state of his balls, he'll still be unable to properly mount a bicycle.

Fatty isn't fit enough to ride a bicycle.

 

[FBIfellow420]

As his testes are liberated from his body, he releases spores as an involuntary defense mechanism and infests the west coast with crusty freaks obsessed with roadsigns.

 

[kittie]

Nipped, but the operation goes wrong somehow

 

[KatsuKitty]

ADF pulls a trump and defies expectations.

The whole plan was having them cut off and making the Kiwi Farms pay for it.

 

[Super Collie]

He's lied about the whole thing, but my money is on him concocting some story about how "I got to the clinic to have the procedure done buuuuut _________"

He'll come up with some believable-sounding BS excuse like "the doctor wasn't there because of [fake emergency]". I don't think he's going to legitimately blame "Kiwi operatives" on him not getting the surgery because I'd like to imagine that even to his asspatters that seems kind of... not believable.

 

[bearycool]

they cut off his balls but replace his brain with them

They replace them with mash potatoes???