Barb and the passing of Bob... -

[Spatchmo]

Sorry if this has been discussed before, but I was just really curious if anyone knows the extent of Barb's reaction to Bob's passing. From Chris' testimony we know she wasn't apathetic, but also from Chris' testimony it seems that they really couldn't stand each others' presence in the later years of Bob's life. Sleeping in separate bedrooms and staying on different sides of the house. Going so far as to live in separate cities during Chris' high school years (whether solely to keep Chris out of a special school or not).

Does anyone have a clue on the extent of her devastation? Does anyone know if they bothered giving him a funeral, or did they just use his death to ask for monetary donations via his obituary?

 

[CatParty]

Cash grab then depression induced shut in with the growing hoard.

 

[Henry Bemis]

I think there was something somewhere in the massive FB leak that indicated she and Bob had some sort of affectionate moment before he passed.

 

[Optimistic]

We don't know much about Barb, but it can be inferred that she has a huge victim complex. She's addicted to being helpless and miserable.

Did she actually love Bob? Who knows. But death of a spouse = huge sympathy points and a valid reason to sink into a deep depression and manipulate her children into doing things for her. She has the label of widow now and widows are brave martyrs to be catered to and handled with kid gloves. I believe she was deeply affected by Bob's death, but not because of "Here was this incredible person who brought out the best in me and I won't get to see or talk to him anymore."

More like, "A big constant in my life has gone away and I'm supposed to be really miserable over this. I'm miserable anyway, but now I have a socially acceptable reason to be. Now people have to be nice to me."

This probably sounds A-Loggey, but I think it's the truth.

 

[Spatchmo]

We don't know much about Barb, but it can be inferred that she has a huge victim complex. She's addicted to being helpless and miserable.

Did she actually love Bob? Who knows. But death of a spouse = huge sympathy points and a valid reason to sink into a deep depression and manipulate her children into doing things for her. She has the label of widow now and widows are brave martyrs to be catered to and handled with kid gloves. I believe she was deeply affected by Bob's death, but not because of "Here was this incredible person who brought out the best in me and I won't get to see or talk to him anymore."

More like, "A big constant in my life has gone away and I'm supposed to be really miserable over this. I'm miserable anyway, but now I have a socially acceptable reason to be. Now people have to be nice to me."

This probably sounds A-Loggey, but I think it's the truth.

That sounds very plausible from what little we know of Barb. I really shouldn't judge someone I've never met too harshly but she just doesn't seem like a particularly pleasant person, so just using Bob's death as a way to garner sympathy sounds likely.

 

[LordCustos3]

That sounds very plausible from what little we know of Barb. I really shouldn't judge someone I've never met too harshly but she just doesn't seem like a particularly pleasant person, so just using Bob's death as a way to garner sympathy sounds likely.

and squeeze more q-sand money out of the friends and family. Never forget the footnote Barb added to Bob's Obit: readers shouldn't donate flowers, but to donate money to Barbara and Chris.

 

[Optimistic]

We could probably start a whole thread about whether Barb and Bob were worse as parents, or worse as partners to each other. Look how they treated their children - can you imagine the shit they must have said to each other in any argument? Their relationship must have been truly toxic, to the point where one of them felt the need to surround herself with literal garbage and cuddle with her grown son to feel secure. Probably the only time they were in unison was to berate anyone who called their home and disturbed their TV routine by making Chris cry. Did they ever collaborate to try to help Chris and make his life better? Did they ever collaborate to try to make their own lives better? Evidence points to no, they did not. They avoided their problems at all costs and lashed out at whomever was nearby, probably most often at each other.

Okay, I'm getting really A-loggey now.

TL;DR I don't think Borb loved each other. When he died I think she probably felt more angry and put-upon than devastation over the loss of a beloved mate.

 

[Peepee]

I don't think it's very a-loggy to state the obvious: Bob and Barb were not very good parents. Maybe they tried their best, but it clearly wasn't good enough.

I'm certain that raising a child like Chris would have been an enormous challenge for even the most capable and stable and competent parents, but remember that Bob and Barb had multiple other children between the two of them who were completely estranged from them later in life. Hard to say why it came to that, but that kind of thing doesn't happen without a reason.

Edit: Re-reading that post, I just realized that I kind of forgot to actually make a point. Whoops.

What I was aiming for but never got around to is this: Bob and Barb weren't very good parents, and it seems pretty clear that they had many glaring flaws between the two of them. Trying to sum up their motives and personalities into simple declarations of "they did (x) because of (y)" is kind of useless, though, because people aren't that simple.

Does Barb get some sort of perverse satisfaction out of being a widow? I'd say yeah, probably. Does that mean she doesn't actually miss Bob? No, why would it?

Did they have an unhealthy, broken relationship with each other? Yes, apparently so. Does that mean they didn't have some sort of mutual love? No, it doesn't.

It's easy to paint everyone in this family as being entirely one-dimensional, but even the most backwards and flawed individuals are still surprisingly multifaceted and complex.

 

[RagtimeRoastBeefy]

It's easy to paint everyone in this family as being entirely one-dimensional, but even the most backwards and flawed individuals are still surprisingly multifaceted and complex.

As said earlier, I feel one of the reasons a-logging Chris is an offense here is cause we know so much about him. We know his complexities and what makes him Chris. A lot of Chris' family members we don't know about besides bob. Its incredibly easy to a-log barb. But there's probably a lot more to her. She used to run a pretty clean house and cook dinner for everyone and planned Chris' birthday party for him, idk if she just lost it and went nuts or if it was a slow decline. But I think a logging barb comes from us not knowing enough about her to understand why she's nuts

 

[GFYS]

Aww, don't feel bad assuming the worst. Look at where their lives have lead them. It's really hard to get to such low points, if they were making a whole lot of good sensible decisions. It's ridiculously improbable they are where they are, being victims of circumstance. Frequently when new details are dropped about the Weston/Chandler clan, they often line up with many of the more pessimistic assumptions posted on the various forums, anyhow. Really, assuming the worst is the most sensible thing, these days.

 

[Zim]

Thinking the worst of Barb and Chris is pretty natural. As GFYS said, you have to make some pretty bad choices to end up in the state they are. At this point it's probably a slew of mental illness and neglect that makes their living conditions how they are today. Barb is probably suffering some sort of dementia to some extent and Chris...well.... what hasn't been said about him? There house is full of junk and so is their yard. The property looks like it's easily the worst in the neighborhood.

Now I'm 100% sure when Bob died it effected them in ways that the passing of a close family member effects normal people but this also allowed Barb to kick her "whoa is me" victim complex into overdrive.

 

[DangDirtyTrolls]

Reportedly Barb was absolutely devastated by Bob's loss and was pretty much catatonic for days. I remember an insider at the time saying Chris didn't even have time to do anything like new comics/videos if he had wanted to because he had to constantly comfort his mother