BECKY IS BACK, TASTE TEST, TORRID HAUL (07/27/2019) - Fat manatee is reunited with her mentally challenged son

  • The site was compromised. (Initial announcement) (What to do) (A post about feelings)
    This announcement will be removed when I (hopefully) finalize my audit either today or tomorrow. I will follow it up with a mass email to all users linking the information in this announcement. So far, there has been no subsequent release of data.

Optavia Sales Rep

kiwifarms.net
Have you ever stared at the words in a title, and just not been able to comprehend all the bullshit it was trying to hide?
Remember to laugh at Eric getting bullied into going to Family Dollar for Hamberlynn.

Edit: Glad to know that the manufacturers of dollar store egg rolls take calorie counting more seriously than AL.
 

Calling

True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
It's kind of sad she can't just pop out and grab the shorts to save them from getting wet in the rain, and that she has to figure out a procedure of getting in and out of the pool.

Then she eats an eggroll and does that dumb O_____O orgasm face, and I feel much less terrible about her situation. She seems happy with how things are.
 

Big Al's Crusty Sty

Just a fly on the wall.
kiwifarms.net
Somebody on social media recently asked Big Al how she gets in & out of the pool & like a cunt Big Al replied “like everyone else”. & then she posts a video where she herself is wondering how she’ll get in & out?? This is what happens when your videos are months old & you’re active on social media.
 

mekalekahi

I resigned up for weight watchers
kiwifarms.net
Good to know if I'm ever stressed, I should go down in my basement and color a mandala.

She is painfully boring now holy shit. We need somthing spicy to happen like becky saying somthing racist on younow or it coming to light that AL has been talking to a new delivery driver.
 

L_I_F_T_E_D

kiwifarms.net
BECKY IS BACK, TASTE TEST, TORRID HAUL!!!!! - 7/27/2019 (Day 39 of this 100-Day Nightmare)

Because I hate myself and my blood pressure enough to watch things so YOU DON'T HAVE TO:

- Outside for 6 minutes, super red already, needs sunscreen (or needs an improved diet to reduce high blood pressure) so trying to enlist TempButlers to buy it for her

- Pool is finally set up! (By "finally", I mean well over a month ago, of course)

- Becky gets home tonight! So we jump forward in the timeline again, huh?

- "You guys know... I'm big..." (Bitch, you are officially DYING, not "big".)

- Despite someone asking how she got in and out of the pool on social media and her response was "like a normal person", she admits that a month before being asked that, she has NO IDEA how in-and-out-of-pool will be accomplished.

- Awkward close-up shots of pool test strips container. (Guess we're officially counting the small useless asinine clips she threw in to make that 10:00 money mark today!)

- "SUNSCREEEEEEEN". Of course they bought you a spray - so nobody has to touch your fucking gross skin, Hamber!

- Chicken Egg Roll - HIGHLY REQUESTED (by Hamber) - "I'm gonna check the Weight Watchers points" (7 points)

- TASTE TEST? EAT WITH ME? MINI MOOKBONG?

- Much eye-bulging as salt and fat hits her tongue. Eric mentions the "duck sauce" and her fatty little brain explodes because she knows what each of those words are, but in 20+ years of LIVEEEN she has never heard them put together.

- HamberLynn praises Chicken Egg Roll, possibly because it tastes very similar to her one true god - ORUNJ CHIKN.

- Three items were purchased from TORRID but somehow DIDN'T want to make a separate vlog about that? (LazyLynn finally beats out GreedyLynn?)

- MORE EARRINGS - into the drawer of sadness to never be seen again!

- Another 3 dresses. Every time she says "I'M LIVEEN FOR THIS" I shout at the screen "YOU ARE DYEEEN".

- "Fall is creepin'"? This video is a MONTH OLD and and that time SUMMER HAS JUST BEGUN. The only thing "creepin'" in your life is your sodium-laden blood pressure, towards DEATH.

- Hamber loves the high neckline because of "no cleavage situation", despite not knowing how LACE works, and despite her thinking she can be a LAH and claim she doesn't like showing her cleavage.

- DOGS AND LEYGGS. Another useless 15 seconds to hit the Money Time.

- IT RAINING. Much heavy breathing into a camera as Hamber is winded from standing and filming rain for another useless 20 seconds to hit Money Time.

- NECKY REAPPEARS. She had fun. Met new family who isn't dead yet.

- Hamber goes crazy celebrating Necky being home with horrific noises and camera shaking. Necky does not acknowledge. (Such love, you guyz.)

- I cannot even describe the brain-melting torture of listening to these dumbasses fart all over the English language. Enjoy a "veggie soup" slurry of mumbling and dumbassery involving what should be the words "humble abode". Seriously an entire goddamned minute's worth of footage of this crap. I CANNOT.

*2 minute breather to regain composure* Okay, what's next?

- MOAR MANDALA COLOREEN. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST. She's not even coloring - she's just blathering about how "therapeutic" it is to do admittedly-kindergarten-level arts and crafts. OVER ONE MINUTE OF THIS.

- Mini house tour of where all of Twinkie Storr's food and treats live. Bag-reading. Trying to show people she doesn't simply overfeed the crap out of her dog as animal abuse so all that weight bulging off of the dog must have been put there... by fairies? LET'S GIVE TWINKIE STORR TREATS ANYWAY!

- "WHOOPSIES MY LITERALLY ONE JOB IS TO FILM VIDEOS AND I'M SO BAD AT IT I CAN'T REMEMBER TO PROPERLY END THEM!"

TL;DR - All you need to know about this 10+ minutes of bullshit is actually reading the title of the video. That's it.
 
Tags
None

About Us

The Kiwi Farms is about eccentric individuals and communities on the Internet. We call them lolcows because they can be milked for amusement or laughs. Our community is bizarrely diverse and spectators are encouraged to join the discussion.

We do not place intrusive ads, host malware, sell data, or run crypto miners with your browser. If you experience these things, you have a virus. If your malware system says otherwise, it is faulty.

Supporting the Forum

How to Help

The Kiwi Farms is constantly attacked by insane people and very expensive to run. It would not be here without community support.

BTC: 1DgS5RfHw7xA82Yxa5BtgZL65ngwSk6bmm
ETH: 0xc1071c60Ae27C8CC3c834E11289205f8F9C78CA5
BAT: 0xc1071c60Ae27C8CC3c834E11289205f8F9C78CA5
LTC: LSZsFCLUreXAZ9oyc9JRUiRwbhkLCsFi4q
XMR: 438fUMciiahbYemDyww6afT1atgqK3tSTX25SEmYknpmenTR6wvXDMeco1ThX2E8gBQgm9eKd1KAtEQvKzNMFrmjJJpiino