Benjamin Purdom / Pokchu / Brenda Banks / IdiotChinchilla / Benchilla / WaitWaitFixate - Disgraced ED Sysop Turned Furry & Drag Queen, Former American Idol Contestant; Sometimes Posts on KF

[MetalParakeet]

Is it odd that I think his singing has a lot of potential?
His song choices were terrible for his voice but I think if he went with something slower and maybe a bit jazzy, he would sound half decent

 

[Ben]

Is it odd that I think his singing has a lot of potential?
His song choices were terrible for his voice but I think if he went with something slower and maybe a bit jazzy, he would sound half decent

You're not wrong, lmao. I honestly don't know why my mother thought I should have done Born This Way. Really, my voice isn't meant for a show looking for a pop superstar anyway (especially since I'm maybe a 6 out of 10 at best on the attractive scale); I'm more suited to being a lounge singer or something more low-key like that. But hey, it was an experience.

 

[MetalParakeet]

You're not wrong, lmao. I honestly don't know why my mother thought I should have done Born This Way. Really, my voice isn't meant for a show looking for a pop superstar anyway (especially since I'm maybe a 6 out of 10 at best on the attractive scale); I'm more suited to being a lounge singer or something more low-key like that. But hey, it was an experience.

After reading this thread, I never thought I'd say this but...youve actually said something I agree with

 

[Ben]

After reading this thread, I never thought I'd say this but...youve actually said something I agree with

I generally try to be a reasonable person, haha. So thank you, I appreciate it.

I know I seem super ~social justicey~, but I generally don't take the most extreme positions. People do reach sometimes; I also know it's not worth my effort to call them out on it since they aren't really hurting anyone by doing so, so I just let them live.

(Yes, I know some people will think the racial preference thing is reaching. In general, I think we would benefit as a society if we moved towards considering people's inner character more than their outward appearance, unless aspects of that outward appearance are a direct reflection of said personality, i.e. having poor hygiene.)

 

[Goda]

There actually are studies on the link between racial preferences in sex. It's worth examining.

http://faculty.chicagobooth.edu/emir.kamenica/documents/racialpreferences.pdf
http://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0265407515627508

Honestly, when I posted that, I wasn't expecting people to spill out of the woodworks arguing against the post, since Huscoon finally did block me.

However, I don't regret making it, because it did lead to people sending me scholarly research articles on the matter, so I appreciate the opportunity it opened up to learning more concretely about the issue. Wasn't really worth the time to debate with those other people, but whatever, learning opportunity is a learning opportunity.

Ben, I'm not going to get into it with you on how having a sexual preference doesn't imply you hate the other choices available, I don't know how you don't see that. Does this mean that people that don't have foot fetishes hate those that do? What about people that don't want an overweight partner, are they bigoted against fat people? In fact, why don't gays just sleep with women, are all gays misogynists?

(Yes, I know some people will think the racial preference thing is reaching. In general, I think we would benefit as a society if we moved towards considering people's inner character more than their outward appearance, unless aspects of that outward appearance are a direct reflection of said personality, i.e. having poor hygiene.)

The issue here being of course that you seem to judge people's 'inner character' prematurely, deciding that because they don't do something (such as sleeping with someone of another race) that they're inherently racist. Maybe instead of rushing to judge people based on complete conjecture, you don't assume the worse in people constantly and try to make these ridiculous correlations.


What surprises me most about you Ben, and has drawn me to your posts so many times is that you genuinely think your shit call-out posts are justified. Look at this last one, at best you've identified that someone in their private life doesn't want to sleep with a black guy, which harms how many people again? At worst you've tried to tear apart someone's follower count and brand them a racist because of a preference they can't change and is frankly none of your business. Shit like this makes your ED past shine through though, hard to break those habits I guess.

That's enough moral fagging for now though, I don't want to get into some annoying back and forth.

 

[gracious bobbly bits]

Ben

It didn't take long for Ben to start back up with his call-out posts, this time over sexual preferences. Since anyone who doesn't get a boner for a black person is a filthy racist.

View attachment 362652

View attachment 362650
Silly me, watching all those movies and television is why Jamal's BBC doesn't have me on all fours.

https://twitter.com/ItsBrendaBanks/status/955221333306232834

http://archive.md/kuLgN

Ben will go full SJW on twitter, but he really dials it back, and even back peddles, on here.

 

[Uncle Warren]

I wish to know more about the relationship between ben and the raiders, specifically kody, since i have never heard of this until now.

 

[Ben]

Ben, I'm not going to get into it with you on how having a sexual preference doesn't imply you hate the other choices available, I don't know how you don't see that. Does this mean that people that don't have foot fetishes hate those that do? What about people that don't want an overweight partner, are they bigoted against fat people? In fact, why don't gays just sleep with women, are all gays misogynists?

The issue here being of course that you seem to judge people's 'inner character' prematurely, deciding that because they don't do something (such as sleeping with someone of another race) that they're inherently racist. Maybe instead of rushing to judge people based on complete conjecture, you don't assume the worse in people constantly and try to make these ridiculous correlations.

What surprises me most about you Ben, and has drawn me to your posts so many times is that you genuinely think your shit call-out posts are justified. Look at this last one, at best you've identified that someone in their private life doesn't want to sleep with a black guy, which harms how many people again? At worst you've tried to tear apart someone's follower count and brand them a racist because of a preference they can't change and is frankly none of your business. Shit like this makes your ED past shine through though, hard to break those habits I guess.

That's enough moral fagging for now though, I don't want to get into some annoying back and forth.

The person in question I was dragging does have a long history of making racist statements, and is generally well known in the community for being a shithead. I made the mistake of thinking that everyone would generally agree with the post, go "haha what a shit" and move on. I was genuinely surprised to find just how many people in my immediate six degrees of separation don't find racial preferences in dating to be problematic, so I've deleted the original post, because it wasn't inviting healthy debate.

Basically, I do believe that when our generation was growing up (as well as generations before it), we primarily were exposed to media showing people coupling with their own race, so that more or less would inform the racial preferences people do have. I myself did have a racial preference (although I wasn't fully conscious of it) until I managed to put that notion aside around the age of 19. I do believe it is possible to evolve past it, but obviously getting pissy about it won't help with that. Honestly, I thought at the very least, my social media reach largely would agree with me (and plenty did!), but the amount of people who disagreed quite angrily has given me pause.

Again, learning experience. I thought people around me would generally have the same viewpoint as me on this, and it turns out it wasn't that simple. I value the knowledge in this.

Also, I honestly really don't think of myself as the "angry SJW" archetype. No shade to anyone who readily embraces that label, but it isn't for me. I see how I am coming off as such, and it's not really my desire to do so. So, gonna try and fix that.

Ben


Ben will go full SJW on twitter, but he really dials it back, and even back peddles, on here.

Dialing it back after seeing the reaction. I honestly need to be more mindful of what my brain considers a "callout" and give more pause next time, because I think I was just reflexively going "haha, everyone knows this guy sucks, so I'm just gonna clown on him for a second." Now that I know this issue isn't as black and white to people only one degree of separation from me, I'm gonna be more mindful, and perhaps in the future, think more carefully before I assume that people around me generally have the same viewpoint.

But also, in general, even if people are more separated from me, and I do safely think I can bang my pots and pans, I should honestly be less vitriolic about things. It might be easier social media likes to be a dick about things, but it's not really beneficial in the long run.

I wish to know more about the relationship between ben and the raiders, specifically kody, since i have never heard of this until now.

There isn't one really. I never followed up with how he was doing, because I'm not a professional therapist, and it would take a team of therapists to really fix that kid.

 

[gracious bobbly bits]

I myself did have a racial preference

Sounds like you're projecting your own issues onto other people.

 

[Ben]

Sounds like you're projecting your own issues onto other people.

I'm just stating from personal experience that I have been there before, only to realize I was being foolish. It's worth considering why we have these idealized visions of what our partners should be in the first place.

I can understand if those features are directly related to the sexual dynamic (i.e. a short dom not wanting to date someone taller than them, someone who likes bigger people because there's more to cuddle/grab onto, or preferring strong people because you wanna get thrown around), but if they're things that have absolutely nothing to do with the actual sexual dynamic, it just seems... weird to me.

 

[Uncle Warren]

There isn't one really. I never followed up with how he was doing, because I'm not a professional therapist, and it would take a team of therapists to really fix that kid.

So essentially you've only met him once, he told you that he can't leave the raiders due to alienation, and that's it?

 

[Ben]

So essentially you've only met him once, he told you that he can't leave the raiders due to alienation, and that's it?

Well, talked to him once, I've never interacted with them face to face. They also told me that they've been to therapists before but they didn't understand him or whatever. He wanted me to meet him and Foxler at a con but like, I go to cons to have fun; not to talk to psuedo-Nazis.

 

[Uncle Warren]

Well, talked to him once, I've never interacted with them face to face. They also told me that they've been to therapists before but they didn't understand him or whatever. He wanted me to meet him and Foxler at a con but like, I go to cons to have fun; not to talk to psuedo-Nazis.

Interesting.

 

[Ben]

Interesting.

Foxler I had interacted with once before, who gave me the pleasure of -this- cringey interaction.

(This was in response to the idea that he'll only fuck non-white people if they're furries. Which is uh. Weird to say the least.)

 

[Uncle Warren]

Foxler I had interacted with once before, who gave me the pleasure of -this- cringey interaction.

(This was in response to the idea that he'll only fuck non-white people if they're furries. Which is uh. Weird to say the least.)

Yea except I already, well, everyone here already knows Foxler is into kids and beastiality.

Still, this is getting more interesting.

 

[Ben]

Yea except I already, well, everyone here already knows Foxler is into kids and beastiality.

Still, this is getting more interesting.

That's unfortunately (or fortunately?) where it ends. Gonna do my best to keep it that way.

 

[Feline Darkmage]

That's unfortunately (or fortunately?) where it ends. Gonna do my best to keep it that way.

Yeah I wouldn't touch Foxler with a 10 foot pole.
Better to watch the trainwreck from a distance.

 

[Gentleburd]

Since I don’t often get the chance to interact with people who chat a lot on social media, I figured I would take this chance to ask a couple questions:

1. Why do you post so many of your controversial political opinions on social media? Surely you know that it does nothing but stir up people who have differing views?

2. Why don’t you keep your sensitive political chatter in PMs? Isn’t it more fun and chill to discuss your political opinions with people who you know will agree with you?

Seriously, no one has ever had their opinion changed by a tweet. Posting that kind of stuff in public does nothing but invite rebuttals. And since you have repeatedly stated that you want to make your online presence less confrontational shouldn’t you be keeping antagonistic stuff off your public accounts?

 

[Ben]

Since I don’t often get the chance to interact with people who chat a lot on social media, I figured I would take this chance to ask a couple questions:

1. Why do you post so many of your controversial political opinions on social media? Surely you know that it does nothing but stir up people who have differing views?

2. Why don’t you keep your sensitive political chatter in PMs? Isn’t it more fun and chill to discuss your political opinions with people who you know will agree with you?

Seriously, no one has ever had their opinion changed by a tweet. Posting that kind of stuff in public does nothing but invite rebuttals. And since you have repeatedly stated that you want to make your online presence less confrontational shouldn’t you be keeping antagonistic stuff off your public accounts?

1) Well I mean, I wouldn't say most of my opinions are controversial. I didn't -think- the racial preference thing would be controversial, but apparently I was wrong. I don't think there's a problem with the fact that I brought it up, but the fact that I called someone who expressed it a "fucking knob" invited a lot of unwanted attention (although again, I didn't think anyone but his die-hard sycophants would criticize me; again, wrong on that). In general, I just need to be more careful about not assuming what people will agree with, and just generally be less antagonistic in my presentation.

As for why? Discourse is good when it's not destructive. People just also like to point to things and go "same" when they agree with something. I dunno. It's not that deep half the time.

2) People generally do agree with me! At least, in my immediate circle and beyond a degree of separation or two; I just misjudged this situation. Sometimes I'll tweet directly at Trump/right-wingers because it's interesting to me to pick their brains and see how they tick, but I will admit the pay-off of that is not often worth the effort put in. I should probably do it less, admittedly.

 

[Gentleburd]

1) Well I mean, I wouldn't say most of my opinions are controversial. I didn't -think- the racial preference thing would be controversial, but apparently I was wrong. I don't think there's a problem with the fact that I brought it up, but the fact that I called someone who expressed it a "fucking knob" invited a lot of unwanted attention (although again, I didn't think anyone but his die-hard sycophants would criticize me; again, wrong on that). In general, I just need to be more careful about not assuming what people will agree with, and just generally be less antagonistic in my presentation.

As for why? Discourse is good when it's not destructive. People just also like to point to things and go "same" when they agree with something. I dunno. It's not that deep half the time.

2) People generally do agree with me! At least, in my immediate circle and beyond a degree of separation or two; I just misjudged this situation. Sometimes I'll tweet directly at Trump/right-wingers because it's interesting to me to pick their brains and see how they tick, but I will admit the pay-off of that is not often worth the effort put in. I should probably do it less, admittedly.

Thank you for the informative reply!

I will readily admit to wanting to understand how people can hold different opinions than I do, but unfortunately the general internet is not the best place to find willing debate partners.
Even the most innocent opinion can get you branded racist/sexist/x-phobic these days so it is very difficult to have honest discussions online.

I am very interested in psychology myself and would be open to chatting with you about it (and about various other stuff like how and why people hold extreme opinions) via PM on here if you are up for it.