Best "cautionary tale" LOLCows for today's youth -

Chaton_Mort

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"OK class, settle down. Kyle, put your phone away or give it to me. Amanda, spit out your gum. Right. This unit is going to be about how to not destroy your life. Pretty serious stuff. Petra, help me hand out these reading packets. Now, these packets are all from things that people have put out on the internet. That means ANYONE can read them, and there's no 'backsies'- even if you delete/edit something, a screenshot could have been taken before you retouched it. If you put it on the internet, it's there forever, for everyone.

"For next class, please read the packet of selected tweets from TransEthics/Vikki Valmir. Now, this is a public school, so calm down, this isn't about whether it's okay to be transgender. As you go through life, you're going to have friends who tell you it's cool to drink. As you read through this, ask yourself, 'does drinking make this person cool? Or are they the most depressingly pathetic person ever?'

"Next, we have selected Facebook and Instagram posts from Russell Greer. Ladies, I'll be asking you in class how his posts and IG comments make you feel. Guys, pay attention. The essay assignment for this packet will be titled, 'How Not to be Such a Creep That Even Prostitutes Shun You.'

"The next packet is...uh, the next packet...is...um, hang on one second, no roughhousing while I'm gone."
<peeks head into teacher's lounge> "Oh fuck, my dudes, I only brought the first 2 packets for the Learning from LOLcows unit to my class! Anybody have the rest? Can you give me a quick rundown of what makes them Don't-Be-That-Guy examples?"
 
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PsychoNerd054

Green people are so sexy!
True & Honest Fan
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The next unit in this lesson will be about how not to become so obsessed with your gender or sex. It will go into all of the dangers of being indecisive of whether or not your male or female, to the point where you believe everyone to be a neo-nazi. Your job is to express your opinion on the posts these people make on their Twitter accounts.
 

Cato

True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
I can't believe nobody has mentioned Alison Rapp. She's the lolcow that immediately came to mind for me as soon as I saw the thread title. Her life story is a "how to" guide for going from having a dream job straight out of college to being a rapidly aging, unemployed, unemployable, friendless prostitute.
 

money bunny

no cash value
kiwifarms.net
Tonight's homework is to read the section on how Fire is a good example of how transitioning will not magically solve your problems and is not something to be taken lightly. Male Fire had a career, a stable home, and a fiancee who loved him. After embracing his inner woman after playing around with wigs and makeup because he felt like a wimpy failure of a man, he's bouncing around from one disaster to another, unemployed, spending all day sobbing into the void on Twitter, and completely unwanted by anyone as either a friend or lover. He threw away a good life on a whim playing dress-up, and will never rebuild it because changing your entire identity actually brings a whole new host of challenges.
 

HIVidaBoheme

Intersectional basic bitch
kiwifarms.net
Have a look at Zinnia Jones, while learning about the anatomy of the anus, rectum and colon is important you must remember shoving whatever you can up there and filming the degeneracy for the world to see will not fulfill your empty lives. Also in this packet we will touch about healthy relationships with your parents, which again don't involve a relationship your mother may have with your birthday party clown. And as an extra credit we will review why you must not lie about your education by posting obsolete or skewed data articles on transgender "issues" all over your social media.
 
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Autumnal Equinox

I hope you relish it as much as I
kiwifarms.net
Spoony for sure. Perfect cautionary tale about rushing into celebrity and fame, not realizing it doesn't last forever, making no plans to be financially secure and coasting on the donations of a dwindling fanbase until that well runs dry. Stupid bastard went from earning 5k a month in donations to less than 300, having his home foreclosed on and having to move back in (parents most likely) at age 39. No job experience to fall back on, no skills, no support. Fredrik Knudsen's video on him was very prophetic.
 
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