Best "cautionary tale" LOLCows for today's youth -

[JambledUpWords]

Mermaid Queen Jude would make at least an entire lecture’s worth of material. Here are some lessons you can learn from Jude:

• Don’t treat your followers as numbers
• Don’t scam people
• Don’t try and make a career off of Twitch streaming
• Don’t charge people $100 and up for photoshoots that look like anyone with an iPhone can do
• Don’t take selfies with your hand near your face, with eyes closed, and tongue on display all at the same time
• Don’t spend $1000 dollars or more of your scam money on new tech devices for Twitch streaming
• Don’t post everything you’re thinking about on social media
• Don’t badmouth your parents on social media when they allow you to live at their place for free
• Wear a bra
• Don’t claim to have an eating disorder to justify staying fat
• Don’t block everyone who disagrees with you
• Learn to take criticism in order to improve
• Don’t post incel tier content to guilt people into dating you
• Develop interests outside of yourself
• Follow through with what you say
• Don’t beg for work through Twitter

 

[MistressCaridad]

There are many things one could learn from Onision aka James Gregory James Jackson Daniel Avaroe Jackson of Gig Harbor Washington and his boywife Taylor Elaine Kai Anderson Jackson Avaroe Jackson.

For Grugly’s part:

*just because you’re bringing in money hand over fist doesn’t mean you should spend it like a complete rëtärd. You really don’t need that overpriced cheaply made piece of shit whatever it is RIGHT NOW. Stick to a budget.
*do your fucking taxes. If you don’t know how get someone to help you. Don’t just ignore them or try to claim everything you do as a “business expense” like a fucking spaz. The IRS isn’t going to let that shit go.
*just because it’s legal doesn’t mean it’s okay.
*smugly screaming about FAAAAAX, playing semantics games and being a fucking pedant doesn’t make you look smarter or morally superior, it just makes you look like an asshole.
*same goes for chimping out when someone expresses a different perspective than you or points out a less than desirable behavior you’re engaging in.
*edgelording is for twelve year olds, not adults. If you think being edgy for the sake of being edgy is cool or funny, grow the fuck up.
*you’re not special. The rules apply to everyone, including you.
*if all your romantic/family relationships and friendships fall apart spectacularly, take a look at who the common denominator is.Yes, it’s you.

Lainey:
*clean your fucking house and learn to cook. Don’t let shit pile up to the point that your houseguests get disgusted and start cleaning. You’re not royalty and no one has to wait on you.
*don’t pop out kids just to keep a marriage together, and if you do have kids, they come first. They didn’t ask to be born into a shitty home so it’s up to you to make their lives better.
*what goes around comes around. If you behave like a cunt, act entitled and treat people like shit all the time, don’t be surprised if people eventually don’t want to be around you.
*crying to manipulate people is shitty and childish. Don’t do it.
*be your own person and don’t hang your entire existence on your partner. Nothing, not the newest iPhone, a whole wardrobe of clothes and all the takeout you can eat is worth losing your identity over.

EDIT- for both: if you choose friends and romantic partners because they are vulnerable and easily suggested or manipulated... you’re a piece of shit. No ifs, ands or buts.

 

[Yaoi Huntress Earth]

Tom Alciere, my dear class, is why you should measure your words when you are a politician. So get any hate-boners you have against certain groups (like cops) settled before you say anything like advocating for their deaths. Because if you do, even the Libertarians won't want anything to do with you.

Also, even prisoners don't want to read your erotic, libertarian, religious stories if they have glorified child rape in them.

 

[Tragi-Chan]

Jake Alley. If you want your dream job, you have to work for it. You can’t rely on other people to do it for you.

 

[CWCissey]

Anna Johnson: Taking the Bible literally is never a good idea, and Jesus is not DtF.

 

[RumblyTumbly]

Alot of the sexual degenerate types I see as cautionary tales from the perspective of those surfing the net and conversing with people. They are like the modern day Big Bad Wolves.

See the guy in the cat costume that wants to fuck a child? Yeah, don't talk to him. Stay away.

But if I'm looking to ones that completely fuck up handling internet fame or being in the public sphere at all, I think most of the Channel Awesome crew really shows how to do virtually everything wrong when you develop a following online. The prime example being good ol' Spoony.

Spoony for sure. Perfect cautionary tale about rushing into celebrity and fame, not realizing it doesn't last forever, making no plans to be financially secure and coasting on the donations of a dwindling fanbase until that well runs dry. Stupid bastard went from earning 5k a month in donations to less than 300, having his home foreclosed on and having to move back in (parents most likely) at age 39. No job experience to fall back on, no skills, no support. Fredrik Knudsen's video on him was very prophetic.

He is like the Bizarro version of AVGN.
- AVGN asks for donations to make a movie, and delivers (say what you will about the movie, but he did make it). Spoony gets 5K a month to make a movie and puts the money in his own pocket.
- AVGN networks and grows his brand to still be a figure on the net today. Spoony squanders every opportunity to grow his brand, and burns virtually every bridge to destroy his network and support system.
- AVGN attends cons and panels and is respectful towards the fans and the people there. Spoony shit on his fans when they dare to call him out on his bullshit and attended cons to make a jackass of himself (BETRAYAL!!!)
- AVGN was able branch out and tackle other projects (Board James, Know what's Bullshit, Rental Reviews, J&M Mondays, etc.) while still returning to what got his name out there, so his material has variety and keeps the established fanbase happy. Spoony basically abandoned the edited reviews he was known for and opted for livestreams and ranting vlogs with no editing, which only served to drive his fans away.
- AVGN has a wife, kids, and is a happy family man that built a good life for himself. Spoony is a single, hopeless mess that is about to get kicked out of his house and looks like he hasn't bathed in a month.

AVGN and Spoony serve as the two extremes of how to build yourself up online and then how to either make it sustainable or completely destroy it. Like honestly, if we ever got to a point where online content creation was taught in schools or something, Spoony should be used as a textbook example for how to fuck it all up.

 

[CheezzyMach]

Alot of the sexual degenerate types I see as cautionary tales from the perspective of those surfing the net and conversing with people. They are like the modern day Big Bad Wolves.

See the guy in the cat costume that wants to fuck a child? Yeah, don't talk to him. Stay away.

But if I'm looking to ones that completely fuck up handling internet fame or being in the public sphere at all, I think most of the Channel Awesome crew really shows how to do virtually everything wrong when you develop a following online. The prime example being good ol' Spoony.



He is like the Bizarro version of AVGN.
- AVGN asks for donations to make a movie, and delivers (say what you will about the movie, but he did make it). Spoony gets 5K a month to make a movie and puts the money in his own pocket.
- AVGN networks and grows his brand to still be a figure on the net today. Spoony squanders every opportunity to grow his brand, and burns virtually every bridge to destroy his network and support system.
- AVGN attends cons and panels and is respectful towards the fans and the people there. Spoony shit on his fans when they dare to call him out on his bullshit and attended cons to make a jackass of himself (BETRAYAL!!!)
- AVGN was able branch out and tackle other projects (Board James, Know what's Bullshit, Rental Reviews, J&M Mondays, etc.) while still returning to what got his name out there, so his material has variety and keeps the established fanbase happy. Spoony basically abandoned the edited reviews he was known for and opted for livestreams and ranting vlogs with no editing, which only served to drive his fans away.
- AVGN has a wife, kids, and is a happy family man that built a good life for himself. Spoony is a single, hopeless mess that is about to get kicked out of his house and looks like he hasn't bathed in a month.

AVGN and Spoony serve as the two extremes of how to build yourself up online and then how to either make it sustainable or completely destroy it. Like honestly, if we ever got to a point where online content creation was taught in schools or something, Spoony should be used as a textbook example for how to fuck it all up.

I haven't kept up with Spoony in about a year but didn't he have a girlfriend he was mooching off of?

Anyway to me Troons and genderspecials are great examples of why you should never blindly jump on trends.

 

[Daddy's Little Kitten]

Not even once.

 

[Ryotaro Dojima]

Never make an account for a porn site. It will find you.


Hmmmmmm? Learn your lesson?

 

[RJ MacReady]

I haven't kept up with Spoony in about a year but didn't he have a girlfriend he was mooching off of?

She left him about a month ago. Their house being foreclosed was the last straw.

 

[saralovesjuicyfruit]

Virtually everyone in the Internet Famous category. E-fame is very alluring to young people but you don’t have to look far to see how it usually ends up a pretty hollow, exhausting, fleeting experience.

 

[Clark Kent]

Trish Paytas.

Pick a metaphorical fold and fuck it. You could write a Stephen King-size book on that mess, but in general she shows what our culture can do to one without any stability or self-awareness.

 

[Pitere pit]

Good morning class. I hope that you had a nice weekend roaming around with your friends doing things like sports, running or making a nice meal.
Today is a special day! I am going to teach you about how to have a healthy life and mind. That's right Sami, first positive of today nice job, we are talking about Amberlynn Reid!
Fellow students, never forget what Clara, the Latin's teacher told you, mens sana in corpore sano.
As you already know, obesity is an epidemic that threatens our civilization. Not only being fat uglies your body, but break your mind.
Of course she was a mess before being a deadfat, but her addiction to food make her even more sick in the mind. She only lives to eat, wreck people and ruin relationships, she is a liar too.
Never invent things that didn't happen because sooner or later it will come back at you.
For homework, you will look at one "cook with me" videi, obviously put on hooktube to not give her money with your videos, and you will write an essay on how wrong she is cooking, write down the multiple contradictions and lies, and give me your essays tomorrow. Minimum 1 sheet front and back. Yes Kyle, you can write it on your computer. The best essay I read will get their exam's mark raised by one point.

 

[Meat Poultry Veg]

Good morning class. I hope that you had a nice weekend roaming around with your friends doing things like sports, running or making a nice meal.
Today is a special day! I am going to teach you about how to have a healthy life and mind. That's right Sami, first positive of today nice job, we are talking about Amberlynn Reid!
Fellow students, never forget what Clara, the Latin's teacher told you, mens sana in corpore sano.
As you already know, obesity is an epidemic that threatens our civilization. Not only being fat uglies your body, but break your mind.
Of course she was a mess before being a deadfat, but her addiction to food make her even more sick in the mind. She only lives to eat, wreck people and ruin relationships, she is a liar too.
Never invent things that didn't happen because sooner or later it will come back at you.
For homework, you will look at one "cook with me" videi, obviously put on hooktube to not give her money with your videos, and you will write an essay on how wrong she is cooking, write down the multiple contradictions and lies, and give me your essays tomorrow. Minimum 1 sheet front and back. Yes Kyle, you can write it on your computer. The best essay I read will get their exam's mark raised by one point.

Amberlynn is, in the terms of classical moral theology, wholly given over to the lower faculties.

 

[The best and greatest]

A tale about MovieBob and Andrew Dobson for an assignment for how not to act and how not to live.

My takeaway from Bob's content when I was younger was not to carry my traumatic highschool experiences with me into my 30s.

 

[Tanner Glass]

Nina and Greta from TransLifeLine

Trust no one - even people like you, who agree with you, in your same social circle - will lie, steal, and cheat you if given a chance.

They'll use your corpse as a stepping stone to try and milk more money out of other people.

 

[SteelPlatedHeart]

Andrew Dobson is still one of the best examples of what happens when you refuse to listen to any form of criticism or take personal responsibility, instead letting your ego run rampant and viewing yourself as smarter and better than anyone, so you never let a single grudge go.

 

[Spunt]

Spoony is the most obvious example of total self-destruction, pissing away everything you have and sabotaging every opportunity to get it back. Everyone except him could see his downfall from literally years away. Dude's like Lowtax on fast-forward.

I'd also say Boogie2988. If you want to be a "personality" but your "personality" consists of being fat and a trainwreck, then people are only going to tune in for the fatness and drama. He's trapped in a loop of self-destruction because abusing himself and making awful decisions is literally his career. If he fixed his life he'd just be some dude with nothing interesting to say and no real skills, so he's bought himself a one-way ticket to hell. Ditto Chantal, ALR, Nikocado Avocado and the like, their only appeal is being a sideshow circus freak and now their incomes depend on them slowly killing themselves.

 

[Gorillagorillagorilla]

I'd pick Lily Orchard.

The lessons would be to let go of grudges, accept criticism, don't be such a hotheaded bitch, and things of that nature. You're never gonna get anywhere in life if you're only personality trait is being a fugu level toxic troon.

 

[Francis E. Dec Esc.]

My takeaway from Bob's content when I was younger was not to carry my traumatic highschool experiences with me into my 30s.

Peter Guerin is even worse, he's in his mid-fifties and won't shut up about being bullied in the early-mid 1980s.