Best "cautionary tale" LOLCows for today's youth -

Nekoi.Inukuma.00

just a d00d
kiwifarms.net
Years ago I literally used the story of Jessi Slaughter to impress upon my daughter to not be a cow on the internet. I even went so far as to promise [not seriously] to embarrass her forever by playing the role of the meth'ed out dad in her viral video.

Likewise, Andrew Hussie and his collaborators, and by extension the Homestuck fandom, have some great lessons: don't get too attached to the thing you're a fan of, how fame and internet fandom can destroy something, the relative value of collaborators, and (in Toby Fox's case) knowing when to strike out on your own.

I regularly use the very existence of this website to impress upon her the idea of not taking the internet or yourself too seriously, and the price of internet fame... especially when that fame comes from negative attention.
 

Doctor Placebo

Solidarity, my niggas.
kiwifarms.net
Razorfist: Never, under any circumstances, make a recording or do a video chat of your naked self masturbating unless you want the world to see it. Assume it will get out at some point in the future.

Kraut and Tea: Don't do gay ops on Discord. Assume it will get out at some point in the future.

MundaneFatt: Don't lie on a livestream for an hour about not flagging videos, only to finally confess like a little bitch, blame it on being in a bad head space, then carry on like nothing happened. Don't flag or otherwise try to censor people when your entire online reputation is based around being for freedom of expression.

Basically assume everything you do online could be broadcast to the world at any time. Especially if it's on Discord.

Andrew Dobson: Don't blow up some minor incident like getting spritzed with water and keep whining about years down the line. All you're doing is ensuring that people never, ever forget it and think you're a little bitch for making such a big deal about it.
 

Slimy Time

Read 'em and weep
kiwifarms.net
Razorfist: Never, under any circumstances, make a recording or do a video chat of your naked self masturbating unless you want the world to see it. Assume it will get out at some point in the future.

Kraut and Tea: Don't do gay ops on Discord. Assume it will get out at some point in the future.

MundaneFatt: Don't lie on a livestream for an hour about not flagging videos, only to finally confess like a little bitch, blame it on being in a bad head space, then carry on like nothing happened. Don't flag or otherwise try to censor people when your entire online reputation is based around being for freedom of expression.

Basically assume everything you do online could be broadcast to the world at any time. Especially if it's on Discord.

Andrew Dobson: Don't blow up some minor incident like getting spritzed with water and keep whining about years down the line. All you're doing is ensuring that people never, ever forget it and think you're a little bitch for making such a big deal about it.
Don't forget the biggest and most irl applicable example (or soon to be example) - Don't be DSP and completely fuck your finances up, getting credit card after credit card and wracking up more debt with no way out. Don't pick up a gambling habit that you throw tens of thousands of dollars at. Don't alienate everyone who can possibly help you financially and don't end up so unlikable that your reputation is forever ruined. Also, don't show your "O" face on camera- always check to see if its on, or jack off elsewhere.

God the list could go on with that guy.

Jack Scalfani - Learn to cook food properly and don't be a disgusting gorger of food where quantity is the be all end all for you, lest you transform into a fatal ticking time bomb who's body can't function properly because you've had one too many strokes. Also don't tell the internet how you choked out your son once. People will never forget.
 

Doctor Placebo

Solidarity, my niggas.
kiwifarms.net
Don't forget the biggest and most irl applicable example (or soon to be example) - Don't be DSP and completely fuck your finances up, getting credit card after credit card and wracking up more debt with no way out. Don't pick up a gambling habit that you throw tens of thousands of dollars at. Don't alienate everyone who can possibly help you financially and don't end up so unlikable that your reputation is forever ruined. Also, don't show your "O" face on camera- always check to see if its on, or jack off elsewhere.
The funny thing is, despite all his other shortcomings, his shit content, terrible attitude, and alienating people, DSP would have been fine if he'd just lived frugally instead of spending money like he's some kind of big shot.
 

Slimy Time

Read 'em and weep
kiwifarms.net
The funny thing is, despite all his other shortcomings, his shit content, terrible attitude, and alienating people, DSP would have been fine if he'd just lived frugally instead of spending money like he's some kind of big shot.
There's a lesson to be taken from him and WingsofRedemption. If ever you hit it off on Youtube/streaming, don't go spending all that money on shit like houses or 4 trucks, save it up because unless even if you become Ninja or PDP, that will dry up very quickly.
 

KillThemCrackasBabies

kiwifarms.net
+1 Spoony.

I guess Quinton Reviews counts too in the same (albeit not quite as bad) vein, as he's someone who has admitted over and over again he's doing internet shit to try and get into various social circles only to have it not pan out and, by every observable metric, make his life worse because of it.
 

CivilianOfTheFandomWars

Ruins Everything
kiwifarms.net
For advanced students interested in art, we will be holding a seminar titled "Internet Animators Who Didn't Keep Their Fetish Hidden: A Closer Look Into Shmorky and AnimatedJames".
I hope you will learn some very valuable lessons about what you should and should not post online, and how to avoid becoming the subject of a later lecture.
 
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