Best Dark/Gritty/Fucked-up Music - What music do you listen to when you hate yourself?


The Libtardevoir
Yeah, I've listened to Tool (and A Perfect Circle), Nine Inch Nails, and Marilyn Manson, and I but I feel like that stuff's kinda too obvious. I also listen to Xiu Xiu quite a bit when distressed, but there's nothing that pops up as "fucked up."

So uh, I guess I'll say Nicole Dollanganger, Probably not something most Kiwis would be into, but eh.
her wikipedia page said:
She began posting original songs on Tumblr in mid-2011, and wrote and recorded her first four records in her bedroom while sick on bed rest from anorexia.[1] Dollanganger is known for her high-pitched singing voice. She is also known for her lyrics, which include themes of gore, sex, BDSM, depression, self-harm and eating disorders, among other topics.
I would put some music here, but we'd be here all day.

First off for starters here is an album I made myself
This EP was made during the summer of 2013 at my grandparents house.
Around this time I was heavily into Atrax Morgue and just really starting to get into into marijuana.
My okaasan bought me a KORG Monotribe and the Monotron set which is what I used during the making of this album, along with some virtual synthesizers.
Basically the album is about my mental and spiritual decline (basically my Downward Spiral).
I used to walk to Taco Bell and stare at the people passing by, imagining how I would murder them so I made a series of songs about murdering people with my eyes.
Back then I was going through extreme loads of stress and mental illness, I projected all of that sickness onto the album .... I hope it shows.

Here is the man who inspired me at the time:
Marco Corbelli aka Atrax Morgue (also known as Morder Machine)

He was very disturbed
I'm very obsessed with death and I think that's very clear in all of my works. My ideals and philosophy reflects that "we are constantly in a lackness"; we die and are re-born every moment. Death comes in a moment, in a moment that only faith knows. Death is the moment, the moment is death. Each breath we die, and next breath we are reborn. Each orgasm we die, and so we are reborn. Each sleep is like to die, and the awakening is to be reborn. I'm feeling always in a process, between life and death. I don't feel the passing time. The past doesn't exist; it's only an echo of noise in my mind. The future is destroyed because I live for the moment and I never see any future in front of me. My life condition is like a reflex of energy. A corpse falling into energy's power. Regarding reincarnation, yes, I believe in it, I feel the echoes of my past lives sometimes. I am interested in the pathologic and the extreme, because I think that through the extreme experience everyone can touch deepness himself. Murder is considered the most repulsive act, but it's part of nature, and nature makes the balance between good and evil, day and night. If there's light, there must be the darkness. If there's a birth, there must be a death.
Actually no he sounds pretty sane to me and reminds me of myself .. except he was obsessed with death, for me it's getting high and shitposting on forums.
His entire musical career was dedicated to DEATH
He ran a magazine dedicated to the subject of DEATH and SUFFERING as well
Marco's fascination for death and the macabre was prevalent in every aspect of his life, as can be seen in his album covers which all feature elements of violence and human suffering.
In 2007, after 37 years on planet earth, Marco Corbelli decided to close this world and open the next by hanging himself to death.
You could say him being dead is what makes his music feel so much more visceral and special.
I wonder what they did with his corpse, maybe someday I'll visit Italy and smoke a joint with him while chatting about politics and conspiracies.
Last edited:
  • DRINK!
Reactions: ApatheticViewer
Whoa whoa whoa, is it dark gritty music or is it music for when you hate yourself? That's two different things.

For music for when you hate yourself, there's only one answer. And it starts with "Cut my life into pieces"

Dark gritty music? I like some of the really experimental thing on the first gorillaz album. Like, the one that's just a british dude yelling "Hello? Is anyone there? Hello?" with creepy ambient music slowly ramping up as he sounds more and more desperate.

It's cliche as all hell, but some skrillex for sure. Maybe it's because I imagine myself in the fucked up club headspace when I listen to it.
Tool/Perfect circle for sure.
Some deftones stuff
Pink Floyd - anything from The Wall. Watching the movie on mushrooms could potentially be related.
  • Autistic
Reactions: Sexy Times Hitler


bumbling fool
I mostly listen to stuff like this when I'm in a mood for something harder, a lot of witch house:

but if i want something sad for when i hate myself i normally listen to midwest emo or indie:


Points to that guy for mentioning Atrax Morgue. Personally I've always loved an expression of psychic masochism best

But in all seriousness, you can't get much more dark and fucked up than black metal. Especially the stuff that came out of the Norwegian scene in the 90's.
Actually I'd put Power Electronics far above BM. Check out this piece of sunshine 😊


About Us

The Kiwi Farms is about eccentric individuals and communities on the Internet. We call them lolcows because they can be milked for amusement or laughs. Our community is bizarrely diverse and spectators are encouraged to join the discussion.

We do not place intrusive ads, host malware, sell data, or run crypto miners with your browser. If you experience these things, you have a virus. If your malware system says otherwise, it is faulty.

Supporting the Forum

How to Help

The Kiwi Farms is constantly attacked by insane people and very expensive to run. It would not be here without community support.

We are on the Brave BAT program. Consider using Brave as your Browser. It's like Chrome but doesn't tell Google what you masturbate to.

BTC: 1EiZnCKCb6Dc4biuto2gJyivwgPRM2YMEQ
BTC+SW: bc1qwv5fzv9u6arksw6ytf79gfvce078vprtc0m55s
ETH: 0xc1071c60ae27c8cc3c834e11289205f8f9c78ca5
LTC: LcDkAj4XxtoPWP5ucw75JadMcDfurwupet
BAT: 0xc1071c60Ae27C8CC3c834E11289205f8F9C78CA5
XMR: 438fUMciiahbYemDyww6afT1atgqK3tSTX25SEmYknpmenTR6wvXDMeco1ThX2E8gBQgm9eKd1KAtEQvKzNMFrmjJJpiino