Best Dark/Gritty/Fucked-up Music - What music do you listen to when you hate yourself?

CynicalGardevoir

( ◕‿◕✿) he/him lesbians are all attention whores
kiwifarms.net
Yeah, I've listened to Tool (and A Perfect Circle), Nine Inch Nails, and Marilyn Manson, and I but I feel like that stuff's kinda too obvious. I also listen to Xiu Xiu quite a bit when distressed, but there's nothing that pops up as "fucked up."

So uh, I guess I'll say Nicole Dollanganger, Probably not something most Kiwis would be into, but eh.
her wikipedia page said:
She began posting original songs on Tumblr in mid-2011, and wrote and recorded her first four records in her bedroom while sick on bed rest from anorexia.[1] Dollanganger is known for her high-pitched singing voice. She is also known for her lyrics, which include themes of gore, sex, BDSM, depression, self-harm and eating disorders, among other topics.
I would put some music here, but we'd be here all day.
 

Hikikomori-Yume

kiwifarms.net
First off for starters here is an album I made myself
This EP was made during the summer of 2013 at my grandparents house.
Around this time I was heavily into Atrax Morgue and just really starting to get into into marijuana.
My okaasan bought me a KORG Monotribe and the Monotron set which is what I used during the making of this album, along with some virtual synthesizers.
Basically the album is about my mental and spiritual decline (basically my Downward Spiral).
I used to walk to Taco Bell and stare at the people passing by, imagining how I would murder them so I made a series of songs about murdering people with my eyes.
Back then I was going through extreme loads of stress and mental illness, I projected all of that sickness onto the album .... I hope it shows.


Here is the man who inspired me at the time:
Marco Corbelli aka Atrax Morgue (also known as Morder Machine)

He was very disturbed
I'm very obsessed with death and I think that's very clear in all of my works. My ideals and philosophy reflects that "we are constantly in a lackness"; we die and are re-born every moment. Death comes in a moment, in a moment that only faith knows. Death is the moment, the moment is death. Each breath we die, and next breath we are reborn. Each orgasm we die, and so we are reborn. Each sleep is like to die, and the awakening is to be reborn. I'm feeling always in a process, between life and death. I don't feel the passing time. The past doesn't exist; it's only an echo of noise in my mind. The future is destroyed because I live for the moment and I never see any future in front of me. My life condition is like a reflex of energy. A corpse falling into energy's power. Regarding reincarnation, yes, I believe in it, I feel the echoes of my past lives sometimes. I am interested in the pathologic and the extreme, because I think that through the extreme experience everyone can touch deepness himself. Murder is considered the most repulsive act, but it's part of nature, and nature makes the balance between good and evil, day and night. If there's light, there must be the darkness. If there's a birth, there must be a death.
Actually no he sounds pretty sane to me and reminds me of myself .. except he was obsessed with death, for me it's getting high and shitposting on forums.
His entire musical career was dedicated to DEATH
He ran a magazine dedicated to the subject of DEATH and SUFFERING as well
Marco's fascination for death and the macabre was prevalent in every aspect of his life, as can be seen in his album covers which all feature elements of violence and human suffering.
In 2007, after 37 years on planet earth, Marco Corbelli decided to close this world and open the next by hanging himself to death.
You could say him being dead is what makes his music feel so much more visceral and special.
I wonder what they did with his corpse, maybe someday I'll visit Italy and smoke a joint with him while chatting about politics and conspiracies.
 
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Whoa whoa whoa, is it dark gritty music or is it music for when you hate yourself? That's two different things.

For music for when you hate yourself, there's only one answer. And it starts with "Cut my life into pieces"

Dark gritty music? I like some of the really experimental thing on the first gorillaz album. Like, the one that's just a british dude yelling "Hello? Is anyone there? Hello?" with creepy ambient music slowly ramping up as he sounds more and more desperate.

It's cliche as all hell, but some skrillex for sure. Maybe it's because I imagine myself in the fucked up club headspace when I listen to it.
Tool/Perfect circle for sure.
Some deftones stuff
Pink Floyd - anything from The Wall. Watching the movie on mushrooms could potentially be related.
 
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Zomtro

bumbling fool
kiwifarms.net
I mostly listen to stuff like this when I'm in a mood for something harder, a lot of witch house:



but if i want something sad for when i hate myself i normally listen to midwest emo or indie:


 

ApatheticViewer

kiwifarms.net
Points to that guy for mentioning Atrax Morgue. Personally I've always loved an expression of psychic masochism best

But in all seriousness, you can't get much more dark and fucked up than black metal. Especially the stuff that came out of the Norwegian scene in the 90's.
Actually I'd put Power Electronics far above BM. Check out this piece of sunshine 😊



 
A

AF 802

Guest
kiwifarms.net

Not so much dark in the "I hate myself" kind of way, but the lyrics are kind of fucked up when you think about it. The guy has nothing anymore and his chick's(?) hopped up on painkillers, so he figures he'd might as well go and buy a sawed-off.
 

lilkrabsmane

kiwifarms.net
After reading the literature thread about dark and gritty books, I thought we should extend that to music.

What darkest, grittiest songs/albums/artists have you listened to?


My favorites:
Street Sects - Street Position
This album is sonically brutal, relying on industrial sounds and various gutwrenching samples. The lyrics cover a noir setting with gruesome details.


Daughters - You Won't Get What You Want
The narrative of this album is absolutely brutal, covering the existential horror that resides within everyone and, in terms of sound, this album switches between being beautiful and ear-grating.
real memphis rap shit right here! truma center killaz

 

An Sionnach Seang

Russell Greer audiobook in profile
kiwifarms.net
surprised no-one's mentioned Whitehouse yet
they started with a few weird but relatively tame albums in the early 80s, then became masters of musical jimmy-rustling - their sound was psychologically grating and disturbing, and the track titles were often inflammatory (covering such cheery subjects as sexual deviance, neo-Nazism and serial killers), but there was little if any actual lyrical content; despite this, the jimmies of Rough Trade were sufficiently rustled that they refused to distribute Whitehouse albums on the grounds of their content
between 1985 and 1990 they split, and came back with a vengeance: the albums from the 1990s onwards are still harsh but more sonically varied, their lyrics plumb the darkest, vilest side of humanity, and can make you wince

TG were pretty fucked up guys in general - iirc one of their songs (Persuasion, I think) had this sample of a child screaming or something and it supposedly was audio that could only have been given to them directly by some well known child abuser or something. Sort of funny that the one guy in the band trooned out, ahead of his time honestly.
see for yourself, I'd hardly call it screaming - but transplanted into the context of the song it's very, very creepy
the impression I get is that at the time, they were ordinary people with a very sick/warped sense of humour; the cover of "20 Jazz Funk Greats" has a disappointingly normal-looking group shot of them (albeit on the top of Beachy Head, a notorious suicide hotspot)
Genesis P-Orridge trooned out to get back into the UK, having previously entered the world of modern art and been deported for distributing pornography with the Queen's head pasted onto it through the post, as art - a very, very strange man all round, troonery is just the tip of the iceberg with him
 
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Blini Cat

the lichen touches you.
kiwifarms.net
iirc both he and his wife had cosmetic surgery to gradually become one person in a near-literal sense. it's kind of sweet in a really deranged way
I totally forgot about this. I actually heard this on NPR a few years ago, it's a really fascinating story. (It's Snap Judgment which always has good production and storytelling)
Gen P might be a freak but he's way more interesting than some of the gross troons on this site. It's almost like he turned himself into an avant-garde art project like his music.

To get back on topic, this is one of my favorite albums. I'm not sure if it qualifies as fucked up but it's indescribably melancholy, especially when you know the artist's intentions.
From the Pitchfork review:
[An Empty Bliss Beyond This World] was inspired by a 2010 study suggesting that Alzheimer's patients have an easier time remembering information when it's placed in the context of music. What makes it unique isn't that Kirby resuscitates old but vaguely familiar source material; it's how he edits it. Several of the tracks here take pretty, anodyne phrases and loop them mindlessly; several stop in what feels like mid-thought; several reach back and then jump forward. They never feel filled-in from start to finish, and they tend to linger on moments that feel especially comforting or conclusive: the last flourishes of a song, maybe, the pat on the shoulder, the part when we're assured everything is drawing to a close. Kirby isn't just making nostalgic music, he's making music that mimics the fragmented and inconclusive ways our memories work.
 
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