Best low-key burn someone's ever lit you up with - Cue the sad violin music, boys!

TiggerNits

Yankee vampire living off the blood of the poor
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Just had a former employee of mine from 7 years ago say to me while catching up with them"I used to think you looked like the guy who played Wesley in Princess Bride, but now I think you look more like Dennis Leary in Operation Dumbo Drop"

The saddest part is, I can see it.
 

Slappy McGherkin

Let me introduce you to coulrophobia.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
In the 90's, an amazing amount of women used to tell me I looked exactly like Tom Selleck. It had to be a mustache and Hawaiian shirt thing because I just figured they had a few drinks in them, never really saw it myself. These days, people always ask me if I am or was a cop. Nope. Again, got to be a mustache thing. What is a cop supposed to look like, anyway? I apparently have "that" look.



Add to that, I dropped some serious tonnage. Anytime I see someone I haven't seen in awhile, first words out of their mouth "Are you sick? Do you have cancer?" No, you damn nimrod -- I just got busy and lost some weight!
 

LyapunovCriterion

Unstable
kiwifarms.net
"You're better looking than your friend, although stupid as fuck."
I don't think I'm good looking so that hurt twice as bad. Worst part of it is that my buddy didn't defend me and actually agreed with her (on the dumb part). Fucked up my learning process for a few years (low self esteem is a bitch).
 

Even Odder

A Chan'ner Darkly
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
One time I got an ingrown toenail it got infected and i needed to get an antibiotic shot in my butt. Doc sends in the finest nurse I've ever seen and I get nervous because I came straight from a long day at work and I'm worried about having swamp ass.

So I asked her out of nervousness:

"You give alot of shots to people in the butt?"

She says yeah it's a pretty regular procedure, so partially trying to be funny and partially because I'm embarrassed I asked her:

"Okay so you see alot of butts than, lemme ask you... Scale of one to ten, how good is my butt?"

She paused like she was thinking about it and responded:

"Just a butt"

I really wanted to know but she stayed with

"Just a butt"

I was devastated
 

Slappy McGherkin

Let me introduce you to coulrophobia.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
One time I got an ingrown toenail it got infected and i needed to get an antibiotic shot in my butt. Doc sends in the finest nurse I've ever seen and I get nervous because I came straight from a long day at work and I'm worried about having swamp ass.

So I asked her out of nervousness:

"You give alot of shots to people in the butt?"

She says yeah it's a pretty regular procedure, so partially trying to be funny and partially because I'm embarrassed I asked her:

"Okay so you see alot of butts than, lemme ask you... Scale of one to ten, how good is my butt?"

She paused like she was thinking about it and responded:

"Just a butt"

I really wanted to know but she stayed with

"Just a butt"

I was devastated
I have a good friend that's a pussy doc in Miami. At the end of the day, he says "It's just another pussy." When you are engaged in it to make a living, yeah, just another butt. You and me both.
 
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Smaug's Smokey Hole

too many youtube makeup videos
kiwifarms.net
I and another person walked up to the reception at a company and the receptionist picked up the phone and sent word that the guy from Company A and the man from Company B had arrived. We were both the same age.

Not a burn as such but it stung a bit.
 

TiggerNits

Yankee vampire living off the blood of the poor
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
"You're better looking than your friend, although stupid as fuck."
I don't think I'm good looking so that hurt twice as bad. Worst part of it is that my buddy didn't defend me and actually agreed with her (on the dumb part). Fucked up my learning process for a few years (low self esteem is a bitch).
Idk, your story sounds like they could have been right if you had a hard time learning afterwards. No shame in being an idiot, just be a brave one until you either get killed or learn from experience
 
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