Biggest bullshit in a video game -

Jeff Boomhauer

Yo.
kiwifarms.net
Catching the Pokemon Spiritomb in Diamond/Pearl/Platinum.

-Place an item called the Odd Keystone in a small landmark called the Hallowed Tower (literally just a pile of rocks).

- Go to the Sinnoh Underground and talk to 32 other players. Not the NPCs that are already in the Underground, but other players of DPPl. They at least don't have to be different players, so you can talk to one of your friends (or your other DS) 32 times. However, even this is made tedious, because you have to leave and come back to the Underground each time. If you're playing Diamond or Pearl, enjoy the lengthy save times, because you have to save each and every time you enter and exit!

- Finally get a chance to capture Spiritomb back at the Hollowed Tower. I personally think it looks cool, but it's not a Pokemon I'd use to beat a game. It's more of a support/annoyer Pokemon.

Omega Ruby and Alpha Sapphire made Spiritomb an optional encounter post game, but just to troll the player, it has a move that will kill itself before you can catch it.

It's based off of some Japanese myth that I'm not going to link, but it's all so ridiculous for just one Pokemon.
 
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Smaug's Smokey Hole

Sweeney did nothing wrong.
kiwifarms.net
GT2 wasn't an MMO. It couldn't exactly be patched, and GT's game structure means you don't have to do every event anyway. It's also a reference to real life endurance events. That said though, even LeMans requires a 3 driver minimum and stipulates maximum driving time. But there's stuff like 24 Hours of Lemons that's allowed to be solo-driven and contact/wrecking is discouraged but expected. GT also had its own little bit of drama since overheating PS2s was common when trying even the shorter endurance races. ("shorter" being relative)
Gran Turismo 2 was patched though.

The shorter 60-90-120 minute races in GT2 was a lot like MMO-grinding, they weren't hard, they just took time. I usually listened to music and zoned out. After a while I could do those races in my sleep.
 

TFT-A9

WHEE!
kiwifarms.net
Two-phase bosses in Crucible that get knocked down for their first phase and end up joining a fresh wave in their second just to really complicate shit. Bonus if their second phase is WAY nastier than their first.
 

StraightShooter2

kiwifarms.net
Might be worth mentioning, but in SD Gundam G Generation Cross Rays, the game doesn't auto-save your progress in between missions - you have to make sure to manually save every time before you exist the game, or you'll lose your progress.
 

Mary the Goldsmith

kiwifarms.net
Any game that has you solve a long puzzle or do something convoluted only to give you a mediocre reward.
Some examples:
In breath of the Wild, there's this pitch black area in the map with ruins and stuff, there's even a boss battle in there, and once you beat this you get a shrine, and there are several instances of you solving a puzzle in the overworld only to be rewarded with a shrine, essentially the game rewards you with another puzzle.
In AssCreed Valhalla, there is a locked chest in the city of York, it requires 3 keys to open, normally locked chests have their keys lying close by, but not this chest, this chest has the three keys scattered over the larger province of Yorkshire, and unless you have a guide the game doesn't really give you hints as to where they are, once you have all 3 keys the chest contains a nickel ingot, the same as any other wealth chest in the area and its not a rare material in the game.

On the topic of AC Valhalla I hate that there is not a button to put away your weapons, Eiovr takes out her weapons whenever she's in combat and will only put them away once combat ends, but this can screw you over, for example I was trying to snipe an enemy but was detected, I decided to run and hide since it was a high level area, since Eivor just won't put the fucking bow away I passed next to a torch, the bow's arrows caught on fire and I burned down the plants I was trying to hide in and the fire ended up killing me.
 

TFT-A9

WHEE!
kiwifarms.net
Every so often in the modern Fallouts some guy with a rocket launcher or a fat man will blow you to pieces without any notice.
Must be Fallout 4 because I don't remember too many enemies swinging a Fat Man in NV or 3, and usually the only time you have to deal with anyone trying to fly a rocket up your arse in those is when you're tangling with Super Mutants or when you're doing the Lonesome Road DLC in NV. I think if you have enough warning to see the missile/rocket coming in those you can actually hit VATS and sometimes shoot the fucker down but to-hit is usually pretty shit on those shots. Funny when you pull it off, though.
 

JektheDumbass

kiwifarms.net
Must be Fallout 4 because I don't remember too many enemies swinging a Fat Man in NV or 3, and usually the only time you have to deal with anyone trying to fly a rocket up your arse in those is when you're tangling with Super Mutants or when you're doing the Lonesome Road DLC in NV. I think if you have enough warning to see the missile/rocket coming in those you can actually hit VATS and sometimes shoot the fucker down but to-hit is usually pretty shit on those shots. Funny when you pull it off, though.
Definitely fallout 4. Even in full power armor those bastards can one-shot you on Medium difficulty if your level isn't so retardedly high that you're pretty much invincible.
 

Berrakh

kiwifarms.net
Must be Fallout 4 because I don't remember too many enemies swinging a Fat Man in NV or 3, and usually the only time you have to deal with anyone trying to fly a rocket up your arse in those is when you're tangling with Super Mutants or when you're doing the Lonesome Road DLC in NV. I think if you have enough warning to see the missile/rocket coming in those you can actually hit VATS and sometimes shoot the fucker down but to-hit is usually pretty shit on those shots. Funny when you pull it off, though.
It's more common in 4 to be sure.
I remember something like it in 3 and NV but they're much more sparing about giving enemies the ability to instagib you like that.
Which is a lot like life, when you think about it.
sigh
 

RiceofSkywalker

Just a chink off the old block.
kiwifarms.net
Chances are it's been mentioned before, but the helicopter part of GTA IV's last mission is some buggy bullshit. After a long car chase, a shooting section and another long, wonky chase with a dirtbike on the beach, you have to pull yourself up to a helicopter by quickly tapping space. Trouble is, sometimes the controls bug out and tapping space does nothing, so you die and have to do the damn mission again. Oh, and when you do get past that bug, ignore the game's retarded prompt to "get low" with the heli if you don't want to get blown up by the rocket launcher. Instead of trying to destroy the boat, just fly mid-height and race to the Statue of Liberty island to trigger the next cutscene.
However, even this is made tedious, because you have to leave and come back to the Underground each time.
For what it's worth, entering and then exiting your secret base counts as leaving the underground. While still tedious, that does save you a bit of time in the long run.
 

Korpon

THAT'S RAD
kiwifarms.net
you have to pull yourself up to a helicopter by quickly tapping space. Trouble is, sometimes the controls bug out and tapping space does nothing, so you die and have to do the damn mission again.
Holy shit so I'm not the only one who's experienced this. I remember playing GTA IV way back when it came out and having this problem, I redid the final mission I want to say...a dozen times? Roughly that amount, and it always failed at climbing into the helicopter part. I was legitimately stuck and never got past it, I ended up restarting the game and doing the Revenge decision ending and it worked first try on the final mission, so I don't know if the Deal route version of the final mission is bugged with that? Either way, fuck that bug. I also encountered another bug where after getting into the helicopter, the mission fails a few seconds later because somehow the boat gets away without you being able to catch up to it, I had to restart because of that a dozen times as well.
 

RiceofSkywalker

Just a chink off the old block.
kiwifarms.net
I also encountered another bug where after getting into the helicopter, the mission fails a few seconds later because somehow the boat gets away without you being able to catch up to it, I had to restart because of that a dozen times as well.
Thankfully never had this one happen to me.

GTA IV is a really messy port, riddled with bugs. A solution for the heli bug in "Out of Commission" is to switch your vsync to "half", locking the game at 30FPS so it doesn't count your tapping space as too slow.

Back to videogame bullshit, I think the way Crusader Kings 2 hospitals work is pretty damn bullshit. Say an outbreak of the Plague reaches your province which has a fully upgraded hospital (63% disease spread resistance). Duration of the Plague in a province is 10 months and your land eventually catches it just as the disease burns out in neighboring provinces. Since hospitals don’t grant disease duration reduction, you now gotta endure a flat 10 months of the Plague, which by the way might just spread out to your neighboring provinces again, locking you in a long game of Death ping-pong as a punishment for the "mistake" of upgrading your hospitals.
 

KokoroKoroki

When everyone's a degenerate, no one will be
kiwifarms.net
Catching the Pokemon Spiritomb in Diamond/Pearl/Platinum.

-Place an item called the Odd Keystone in a small landmark called the Hallowed Tower (literally just a pile of rocks).

- Go to the Sinnoh Underground and talk to 32 other players. Not the NPCs that are already in the Underground, but other players of DPPl. They at least don't have to be different players, so you can talk to one of your friends (or your other DS) 32 times. However, even this is made tedious, because you have to leave and come back to the Underground each time. If you're playing Diamond or Pearl, enjoy the lengthy save times, because you have to save each and every time you enter and exit!

- Finally get a chance to capture Spiritomb back at the Hollowed Tower. I personally think it looks cool, but it's not a Pokemon I'd use to beat a game. It's more of a support/annoyer Pokemon.

Omega Ruby and Alpha Sapphire made Spiritomb an optional encounter post game, but just to troll the player, it has a move that will kill itself before you can catch it.

It's based off of some Japanese myth that I'm not going to link, but it's all so ridiculous for just one Pokemon.
I'll do you one better from the same game: Munchlax

-Can only be found on honey trees of which there are 21 in the game but only 4 of these honey trees actually allow you to encounter Munchlax.

-These 4 honey trees are randomized each playthrough and there is no in-game way of knowing which trees house a Munchlax besides sheer trial and error although these days there are 3rd party programs that can find them for you.

=Even if you manage to slather honey on the right tree you have to wait 6 to 24 real time hours for the tree to start shaking which lets you know a Pokemon can be encountered

-If that wasn't bad enough, Munchlax only has a 1% encounter rate and the Pokemon you get is completely locked in once the tree starts shaking so you can't save scum your way to getting one.

Rinse and repeat this and maybe you'll get a Munchlax after about a month or so, I have no idea why Munchlax in particular was made this much of a pain in the ass to obtain.
 

Berrakh

kiwifarms.net
A lot of the Phantom NPCs in Demon's Souls (ps3) were bullshit. For whatever reason you could not see them from at all far away like normal enemies so every fight was an ambush. They were obviously more powerful than normal enemies. And sometimes they just had singularly special mechanics like a dagger that gave you the plague.
The Souls series is pretty good about giving enemies consistent rules but these guys were an exception.
 

I got rabies

kiwifarms.net
There's this PS2 game called Gun (which is a stupid name in itself) and the final boss wears metal armor on his torso. Naturally you'd assume this mean shots to the torso will deal no damage and you will have to aim for his head. Make sense, he's the final boss and all, and this is a fair challenge. Nope. He's completely fucking indestructible, but have fun figuring that out when you expose yourself to attack him. You're supposed to shoot geysers around the arena with a dynamite bow when he's near them, so by the time the dynamite explode, he will be over the geysers. This is the only enemy in the game that require some weird crash bandicoot gimmick to defeat.

It's not enough. If he was able to shoot you, even if it was one pixel sticking out from cover, he will instantly see you, he has perfect accuracy, infinite range and shoots 4 bullets per second. If you go back to cover, the bullets still hit you. If you attack from behind, he sees you too. He doesn't need to reload and has infinite ammo.

Also, who wrote that game's plot? It takes place in New Mexico, Kansas, Arizona, Colorado and Montana. The first four are close enough, but Montana, really? I'm not even american, I just used google to look at a map. What the fuck. But wait there's more: the game is set in 1880, but 10 years ago your adoptive father was shot during the American Civil War (which take place from 1861-1865) and he took you as a baby. Your grown ass adult protagonist is 10 y/o. There is also a flashback from 1868 where the protagonist is an adult. Am I to assume the game was made by toddlers?
 
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