Black Israelites - /pol/ but IRL and if it was black.

[RI 360]

There's a handful of these delusional men in every city who have interpreted "God helps those who help themselves" to mean being unemployed and loitering around the streets with vision boards of their totally impending world domination in which everyone but them is enslaved or brutally murdered by their hands.

It's absolutely worth taking the time to watch, no epitaph goes unsaid and no one is immune to being made to chimp out. Nigger to cracker, tranny to womyn born womyn, everybody hates them. They also enjoy dressing up in bedazzled jew swag.

I guess they couldn't figure out how to make a menorah gang sign with their hands.

edit: Here's one of their websites that opens with them yelling at you.
The Israelite School of UPK

Each event of their high holy calendar features a fun Phil-esque drawing of the slaughter of whites:

And they live stream classes! They have a chat feature but it appears to be broken. And a General... of what, I don't know:

 

[Oglooger]

DAS RIGHT, LES GIB HITLAH A HAND, HEIL HITLAH
GAWD DON' CARE 'BOUT DESE CRACKAS BURNIN' IN OVENS.
WE WUZ HEBREWS N SHIIIIIIEEET

 

[millais]

Louis Theroux has a long history of interviewing autists, so it's no surprise he once paid a visit to the autists of colour

 

[RI 360]

Holy shit. This satire is exactly what it's like to listen to one of their "sermons".

 

[Chris did nothing wrong]

Autistic negro theology debate: Nation of Islam vs. Black Israelites. Who will win?!

 

[CWCchange]

If the original Jews were black, then I guess the Egyptians weren't because everyone knows niggers never enslaved each other before selling them to whitey.

 

[Admiral Piett]

Mister Metokur talked about these guys, along with Black historical revisionists.

 

[The Great Chandler]

Autistic negro theology debate: Nation of Islam vs. Black Israelites. Who will win?!

The only one who wins is the hobo from Jontron.

 

[kcbbq]

I thought this was going to be about the Lemba or something... what's so funny about that? And then I started reading. These dudes are hilarious.

 

[Chris did nothing wrong]

Here was an offshoot of these guys who literally tried to commit white genocide. The Nation of Yahweh, lead by Yahweh ben Yahweh, an extremist version of the black isreaelities, required you to kill a white devil and return with a body part to be part of the cult. The chruch even had a celebrity endorsement with NFL player Robert Rozier (yes he killed people, too). Yahweh and some others were inprisoned for murder, arson, and conspriracy to murder, were he died of prostate cancer.

Humorsly enough the former members of the Nation of Yahweh have ties to the Santoruim and Trump campaigns. Instead of Kevin Bacon, lolcow communities have Trump.

http://www.miaminewtimes.com/news/r...ael-the-black-man-to-open-rally-video-6544706

http://www.miaminewtimes.com/news/t...-former-yahweh-ben-yahweh-cult-member-8843111

 

[Mrs Paul]

Their website was blocked by my anti-virus software. I think that about says it all.

 

[Varg Did Nothing Wrong]

WE

WUZ

KIKES



One question for these guys - if blacks were the real Egyptians, and blacks were the real Israelites...

 

[ccoinhoarder]

Eric Andre did a parody of them before.
In general there's a lot of Black 'religious' (they're mostly just weirdo Black Power movements that adopt religious scripture) groups that create bizarre narratives like this, and basically encourage followers to humiliate themselves. The Nuwabian Nation was similar to this, and had their own little WE WUZ KANGZ compound somewhere, and dressed in archaic, vaguely modeled on Arabic and Egyptian clothing that changed on the creators whims. There was a bit of a tussle where I was because the courts wouldn't let a member of the 5 Percent Nation change his name to "Original Kream Shabazz".

These guys are mostly loud assholes instead of violent assholes, but there's been some crime. The Nuwabian nation fell apart because the founder of it was using his cult to fuck kids, and Your Black Muslim Bakery is too long to describe in detail, but the terms 'halal bakery' and 'organized kidnapping and murder' do not belong in the same sentence.

 

[Somsnosa]

There is a legit little black jewish community in Africa, they kind of live like the tuaregs, wearing very heavy loose clothes and stuff. I cannot remember the name, shame
These hoever are just a bunch of nutheads. And it's the nutheads that give USA its beauty

 

[Varg Did Nothing Wrong]

the terms 'halal ...' and 'organized kidnapping and murder' do not belong in the same sentence.

Recent history says otherwise, heyooo

 

[ccoinhoarder]

Recent history says otherwise, heyooo

Bakeries are supposed to be places of pure baked joy not death and murder.

Besides, the NOI isn't quite Islam. Yeah, yeah, "these criminals and fucking morons technically aren't real muslims because of my arbitrary standards" is a lame fallacy, but a paramilitary black supremacist UFO cult with ties to Scientology, that believes white people were created by an evil scientist named Yakub (I think a person on the farms has Yakub as their profile picture), that (gasp) doesn't even require you to go to make pilgrimage deserves the "not real Islam" label more than anything else.

 

[Varg Did Nothing Wrong]

Besides, the NOI isn't quite Islam.

I wasn't talking about Nation of Islam, really.

 

[Spelling Bee]

Holy shit. This satire is exactly what it's like to listen to one of their "sermons".

I'd like to take a moment to appreciate the comments of this video:

 

[kcbbq]

There is a legit little black jewish community in Africa, they kind of live like the tuaregs, wearing very heavy loose clothes and stuff. I cannot remember the name, shame
These hoever are just a bunch of nutheads. And it's the nutheads that give USA its beauty

There're a few of the groups. Some only vaguely Jewish (the Jews that helped Mohammed in the proto-Islam days were these kind of Jews), polytheists that absorbed some of the rituals and practices. Some are uniquely evolved from groups that arrived hundreds or thousands of uears ago. There are also Ethiopian Jews whose religion is to Judaism what Ethiopian Othodox Christians are to Christianity.

There are also quite a few more tradtionally Jewish people in Africa.

They literally went to the ends of the earth trying to escape persecution. Some of them managed to go far enough to actually get away. For a group that controls everything most of them have pretty meager lives. Hoarding jewgolds leaves you living in a hut in Zimbabwe.

 

[smellymarine]

Are these groups why black people decided to stop pretending to be Israelites and start pretending to be Palestinians?