Careercow Bob "MovieBob" Chipman - A Retarded, Oafish, and Obsolete 39 year old Obese Fascist Eugenics-Loving Elitist White Trash Pop Culture Consoomer/Critic/Basement Dweller/Manchild with a Mario, MCU, Asian, & Pedo Fetish Leading us to a Superior Future!

Which topic will Creepy Uncle Bob claim to be an expert in next?

  • Animal husbandry

    Votes: 42 8.3%
  • Shoelace manufacturing

    Votes: 10 2.0%
  • Third century Greek sonnets

    Votes: 36 7.1%
  • Camping and wilderness survival

    Votes: 47 9.2%
  • Child psychology

    Votes: 197 38.7%
  • Movies

    Votes: 70 13.8%
  • Bee gynecology and obstetrics

    Votes: 54 10.6%
  • Tractor mechanics

    Votes: 23 4.5%
  • Suggest your own!

    Votes: 18 3.5%
  • Ecology

    Votes: 12 2.4%

  • Total voters
    509

DarkEmoMario64

kiwifarms.net
You also have the "scientific progress" angle. Bob is very extreme when it comes to this subject. Anything that can be done has to be done. It's the very reason why he hates stories like "The Terminator" franchise.

On a seperate note, I love the childish aspect to what Bob thinks is realistic capabilities. He never takes into accountability that science isn't what we see in fiction and has limitations. To him it's nothing more than a gateway for magic to happen.
Actually he really likes the original Terminator. He does not care much for Jurassic Park tho.
 
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Sissy Galvez

True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
$300 is quite a lot for a haircut and some color. How many of her constituents would say “$300 isn’t a lot” for a haircut?

The point isn’t that socialist don’t get to spend money it’s that AOC rails against the rich and wants to tax them out of existence to distribute their wealth and then she goes and drops $300+ on a new hairstyle which only someone fairly well off would be able to do. “Do as I say not as I do. I’m allowed a high salary and expensive hairsalon trips but you’re not!”
 

DarkEmoMario64

kiwifarms.net
What exactly is Bob's no doubt galaxy brained take on why JP is bad?
He mentions that he does not care much for the original film in the beginning of this review.
 

Manwithn0n0men

kiwifarms.net
$300 is quite a lot for a haircut and some color. How many of her constituents would say “$300 isn’t a lot” for a haircut?

The point isn’t that socialist don’t get to spend money it’s that AOC rails against the rich and wants to tax them out of existence to distribute their wealth and then she goes and drops $300+ on a new hairstyle which only someone fairly well off would be able to do. “Do as I say not as I do. I’m allowed a high salary and expensive hairsalon trips but you’re not!”
My mom gets it done for a hundo
 

Judge Dredd

Senior Layout Artist
kiwifarms.net
I gotta ask, why exactly is Bob so fricken obsessed with leaving the planet and starting up colonies on the moon and Mars? Heck, it seems like that's the main reason he hates those from flyover states, and he thinks that holding onto traditional ways is standing in the way of progress towards his dream of space travel and the like.
At a first guess, Bob is miserable. Wouldn't you be? And like many miserable people who fail to recognize themselves as the source of their misery, he places the blame on every external factor imaginable. If he were in a wildly different place, especially the sort of science fantasy utopia he was weaned on, everything would be better and he wouldn't be such a miserable shitbag.
I think his main obsession is that he believes he could live a life of luxury like a 50s sci-fi movie. He would be a Siskel and Ebert like figure who's words carry a lot of weight. He'd have a harem of super models, or at least a Holodeck where he could make his Peach/Daisy/She-Wolf of the SS fantasies real. If that future also made those Halo playing jocks who beat him up in high school suffer, that would be a bonus.

His vision of the future is also strangely nostalgic. Like games consoles going back to cartridges, and the most popular games being pastel coloured platform games from Japan.

And he seems to believe all of this is not just achievable in his lifetime, but we'd have it now if it wasn't for Trump.
 

Sissy Galvez

True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
To chime in on my earlier comment about AOC and hypocritical socialists, see how massive the wealth divide is in China. The rich there are obscenely wealthy not just by Chinese standards but western too. All the fucking native Chinese I see here or when traveling are poorly dressed in Gucci, Chanel, Balenciaga, YSL, and driving Mercedes etc while most of the country is starving. So fuck off if that’s what you consider to be socialist and that’s what you expect for the US.
 

An Sionnach Seang

Justin Bieber shit's like a cat!
kiwifarms.net
We're not at peacetime? Who does Bob think he's at war with? Xbox? Trump?
if you believe certain feminists and the 'researchers' they cite, 1 in 5 American women have been raped; that figure is on a par with the early 2000s civil war in Congo, which was one of the most brutal conflicts since World War II

To chime in on my earlier comment about AOC and hypocritical socialists, see how massive the wealth divide is in China. The rich there are obscenely wealthy not just by Chinese standards but western too. All the fucking native Chinese I see here or when traveling are poorly dressed in Gucci, Chanel, Balenciaga, YSL, and driving Mercedes etc while most of the country is starving. So fuck off if that’s what you consider to be socialist and that’s what you expect for the US.
the far left is as attractive to hypocrites and narcissists as the far right is to liars and rage-junkies
 

Your Local Neko Girl GF

Big Fat Cat Tats
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
I'm beginning to suspect that Bob has never really gotten over his grudge against the jocks that bullied him in high school.
Same. I also think that he's incorporated it into his worldview(s). That in tandem with that Bob probably believes in the idea that nerds/ social outcasts like him are bullied because they are inherently smarter than the average person and that those who bully him are dumb and destined to working low-end jobs, is probably why Bob harks on about intelligence so much. He thinks he's smarter than those who bullied him and flaunts his own perceived intelligence as a means of proving his own superiority.
 
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SmileyTimeDayCare

This is pleasure!
kiwifarms.net
"300 dollars is not a lot of money for a woman's haircut." - Bob Chipman, woman expert. Well the national average is $45, with the average in the most expensive states being $78, and heavy spenders are skewing that average up. If female politicians in Washington are spending five grand on terrible to mediocre haircuts though, Bob would be someone who's cool with that.
Blubalah, she isn't going to fuck you.

Sometimes I wonder what percentage of people who patronize Blobs Twitter are just there to make sure he keeps making himself look like a total asshole.
 

MirrorNoir

Un, deux, trois, dit miroir noir
kiwifarms.net
I gotta ask, why exactly is Bob so fricken obsessed with leaving the planet and starting up colonies on the moon and Mars? Heck, it seems like that's the main reason he hates those from flyover states, and he thinks that holding onto traditional ways is standing in the way of progress towards his dream of space travel and the like.
It's a simple case of Star Trek fetishism syndrome combined with intense bitterness that he can't live like a babified fat sloth like in Wall-E

He mentions that he does not care much for the original film in the beginning of this review.
Jurassic Park is basically about the horrors of science and not playing God bringing dinosaurs back to life. Bob most likely hates it, because he wants his futuristic dinosaur park (even though he's a poor fag who would never be able to afford a trip to it) God-Damnit!!!!
 

Judge Dredd

Senior Layout Artist
kiwifarms.net
Jurassic Park is basically about the horrors of science and not playing God bringing dinosaurs back to life. Bob most likely hates it, because he wants his futuristic dinosaur park (even though he's a poor fag who would never be able to afford a trip to it) God-Damnit!!!!
If Bob was to do one of his reboot ideas. I'm guessing his version would be Jurassic Park opens and is a big hit, but is attacked by either dudebros who think the park took their jerbs, or gamergate angry that it's Halo or Call of Duty. Ending the Tweet chain with "$150 million opening weekend easy" like all of his other shitty pitches.

Bob being poor is one of the more confusing things about him. I know there was a lengthy talk about his fiances not too long ago, but Bob is of the opinion that people in rural America should move to major cities, but simultaneously claims that thanks to the internet and the information economy, people can make a living anywhere. But Bob does neither of these things. I guess Boston counts as a major city, but he's living in the suburbs.
 

Honest Coyote

Two-Spirits, Both Dicks
kiwifarms.net
Do we actually know if Bob was bullied, as in docs or a separate party saying he was? Bob is a narcissistic entitled twat who probably rewrites his past three times a day to whatever makes him feel superior; he's the definitionof an unreliable narrator. He might have been bullied, or more likely people just pushed back whenever he tried starting shit.

"How does it feel to know you'll never leave your Dad's carshop, Kevin?"

"I got a basketball scholarship to University of Boston. Fuck you, you fat weirdo."

"Wah! Mrs. Wallace!"
 

Rei is shit

kiwifarms.net
Do we actually know if Bob was bullied, as in docs or a separate party saying he was? Bob is a narcissistic entitled twat who probably rewrites his past three times a day to whatever makes him feel superior; he's the definitionof an unreliable narrator. He might have been bullied, or more likely people just pushed back whenever he tried starting shit.

"How does it feel to know you'll never leave your Dad's carshop, Kevin?"

"I got a basketball scholarship to University of Boston. Fuck you, you fat weirdo."

"Wah! Mrs. Wallace!"
He has alluded to it a bunch. Saying things like going to school wasnt fun because of his classmates, and stuff about him being taken out of class for problems.

Meanwhile a man who decides his working schedule has a completely fucked sleeping schedule.
bob schedule.png

And a very typical bobism; attack someones character with made up shit.
bob lasch.png