Careercow Bob "MovieBob" Chipman - A Stupid, Oafish, and Obsolete 39 year old Obese Fascist Eugenics-Loving Elitist White Trash Pop Culture Consoomer/Critic/Basement Dweller/Manchild with a Mario, MCU, & Asian Fetish Leading us to a Superior Future!

Which topic will Creepy Uncle Bob claim to be an expert in next?

  • Animal husbandry

    Votes: 18 9.1%
  • Shoelace manufacturing

    Votes: 4 2.0%
  • Third century Greek sonnets

    Votes: 16 8.1%
  • Camping and wilderness survival

    Votes: 23 11.7%
  • Child psychology

    Votes: 61 31.0%
  • Movies

    Votes: 25 12.7%
  • Bee gynecology and obstetrics

    Votes: 23 11.7%
  • Tractor mechanics

    Votes: 14 7.1%
  • Suggest your own!

    Votes: 8 4.1%
  • Ecology

    Votes: 5 2.5%

  • Total voters
    197

LordofCringe7206

kiwifarms.net
Y'know, some people end up getting diabetes because of an unfortunate twist of fat, unlucky genetics or some kind of fuckup they couldn't predict or control. Bob pisses me off because he's not any of those people, his type 2 diabetes has an extremely obvious and predictable cause. He overeats, he eats like crap and he doesn't exercise, and he hasn't made any meaningful lifestyle changes. He's only gotten fatter since he's gotten the diagnosis.

He talks all this shit, acts like he knows everything, pretends like he's smarter but he can't even take care of himself on a basic level.
The hilarious thing is that he essentially admits to this, but still tries to pin the blame on other people.
BobAnnouncement.png
"Look, it technically is my fault. But all the bad decisions that led me to getting here were caused by everyone else in the world. If it wasn't for them I would be completely healthy and in shape."
 

Mola Ram

Self Righteous Ego Bastard Asshole
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
The hilarious thing is that he essentially admits to this, but still tries to pin the blame on other people.
"Look, it technically is my fault. But all the bad decisions that led me to getting here were caused by everyone else in the world. If it wasn't for them I would be completely healthy and in shape."
"Wasteline" is a spectacular example of accidental honesty.
 

Your Local Neko Girl GF

Big Fat Cat Tats
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Guy who sucks a mega corporation’s dick retweeted this.
View attachment 1201396
Robert doesn't have any principles outside of his hatred for everything that isn't left-wing or falls under his preferred brands. He loves AOC because other lefties on Twitter like her. It's one of his attempts to be down with the woke kids.
 
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Elkesh Taro

kiwifarms.net
People keep calling Bobbychip "ugly" but I'm not seeing it. I've never seen it. The only really "ugly" feature he, physically, has is that he's overweight but I've seen lots of obsolete mayo ghouls who got themselves a hot chick even though they've eaten so much meat that it's starting to turn them into livestock themselves. If he's ugly in any way, it's in that he's just a boring asshole. He is neither hot nor cold so the gene pool will spit him out.
 

XtrmGamr719

kiwifarms.net
People keep calling Bobbychip "ugly" but I'm not seeing it. I've never seen it. The only really "ugly" feature he, physically, has is that he's overweight but I've seen lots of obsolete mayo ghouls who got themselves a hot chick even though they've eaten so much meat that it's starting to turn them into livestock themselves. If he's ugly in any way, it's in that he's just a boring asshole. He is neither hot nor cold so the gene pool will spit him out.
See usually we don't go for the ad hominems (that's only reserved for the true uggos like John Flynt Wu). However he is very hypocrtical about who he's calling ugly and ghoulish when he looks like the way he does, piled on with his eugenics and superior future boner
 

Mola Ram

Self Righteous Ego Bastard Asshole
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
See usually we don't go for the ad hominems (that's only reserved for the true uggos like John Flynt Wu). However he is very hypocrtical about who he's calling ugly and ghoulish when he looks like the way he does, piled on with his eugenics and superior future boner
Exactly. You'll see the most savage takedowns of Bob's appearance when he derides some conservative women's looks or insults perfectly normal looking dudes for reminding him of some shitty movie stereotype.
 

Oh Long Johnson

Muh..muh..muh..muh..my corona
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
People keep calling Bobbychip "ugly" but I'm not seeing it. I've never seen it. The only really "ugly" feature he, physically, has is that he's overweight but I've seen lots of obsolete mayo ghouls who got themselves a hot chick even though they've eaten so much meat that it's starting to turn them into livestock themselves. If he's ugly in any way, it's in that he's just a boring asshole. He is neither hot nor cold so the gene pool will spit him out.
The man has sported both a pedostache and a neckbeard within the past decade. When he isn't wearing unwashed t-shirts with the neck holes stretched beyond goatse, he's sporting ill fitting or inappropriate clothing, such as the polo shirt and white socks wedding suit.

He might not be the world's most hideous specimen, but he can't even accessorize the shapeless lump of suet he was dealt.
 

The Littlest Shitlord

True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
There are certainly uglier cows on the farms, but Bob's no prize. As mentioned, he's fat and badly dressed, with questionable taste in hairstyle and facial hair. His beard often looks kind of weird and scraggly, like he compulsively pulls it out or something. And let's not forget about his weird sunken cheeks, looking so jarringly out of place on his bloated body. And his Twitter avatars do him no favors either when he shows his face; he went from Smug Yellow Piss Bob to Literal Mouth-Breather Sunglasses Bob. And the green tint from his incompetent green-screening makes him look ugly too. But honestly it's knowledge of his inner ugliness that takes him all the way down from a 3.5 to a 0 on a scale of 1 to 10. Like when you look at a girlcow who would be passable but you know that she's a cluster B headcase bitch who stinks because she's a drunk with awful hygiene.
 
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LordofCringe7206

kiwifarms.net
There are certainly uglier cows on the farms, but Bob's no prize. As mentioned, he's fat and badly dressed, with questionable taste in hairstyle and facial hair. His beard often looks kind of weird and scraggly, like he compulsively pulls it out or something. And let's not forget about his weird sunken cheeks, looking so jarringly out of place on his bloated body. And his Twitter avatars do him no favors either when he shows his face; he went from Smug Yellow Piss Bob to Literal Mouth-Breather Sunglasses Bob. And the green tint from his incompetent green-screening makes him look ugly too. But honestly it's knowledge of his inner ugliness that takes him all the way down from a 3.5 to a 0 on a scale of 1 to 10. Like when you look at a girlcow who would be passable but you know that she's a cluster B headcase bitch who stinks because she's a drunk with awful hygiene.
This raises an interesting question that I've been meaning to ask others here: what would you do to make Bob look appealing? Ignoring his personality, how would you go about trying to physically improve him so that he looks normal or at least better than he is now?

I would get him on a strict diet and exercise regiment for one. Given his age I might have him go to a doctor to look into getting on some testosterone boosters. I would also have him go outside on a daily basis to get some more sun exposure. He will start using skincare products as well.

There's not much we can do with his face, he just has too many ugly features. As for hair I would have him look into what his options are transplant wise. Between that and some beard restoration, he could have thicker and fuller hair that can be easily styled to fit him.

As for style, I would get rid of all his current clothing. No more nerd t-shirts, Mario jackets or clothing that doesn't go together. I would have him start wearing button ups, plaid shirts and polos. I would also have him look into getting contacts or eye surgery, lose the glasses since no style seems to work for him.
 

Benisbro

kiwifarms.net
The delectable poetry of Bob's ugliness is that it is entirely self-inflicted.

He'd be quite normal looking, maybe even handsome, if he wasn't such a fat fuck and didn't feel the need to hide his disgusting frog-chin with an even more repulsive neckbeard. He's actually quite tall and some people can make pattern baldness work or at least hide it, so with decent dietary/exercise habits and an eye for fashion even slightly above that of Chris(tine) Chan it's possible Bob could even look like a well adjusted fucking adult.

Why do that, though, when you can sperg on twitter all day then consoom a few products and praise our corporate overlords?
 

Positron

Bovid-19. Codename: White Yak
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
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This should be the universal reply to all Bobby's tweets. Indeed this should be in the OP.

Wouldn't [giving half trillion dollars to big corporations] be a good idea considering what's going on? I don't understand politics or economy, so just tell me how wrong I am if I am.
There is no such thing as "good idea" by Trump. Even if Trump gave out half trillion bucks to the most poor and "marginalized" people, SJWs will continue to yell about Universal Basic Income and some such.

[AOC] does have nice tits.
Bobby's taste is more exaggerated and artificial.
 
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