Careercow Bob "MovieBob" Chipman - A Stupid, Brutish, and Obsolete 39 year old Obese Fascist Eugenics-Loving Elitist White Trash Pop Culture Consoomer/Critic/Basement Dweller/Manchild with a Mario, MCU, & Asian Fetish Leading us to a Superior Future!

How will Bob get the coronavirus?

  • From his family

    Votes: 38 7.6%
  • McDonald's chicken nuggets

    Votes: 460 92.4%

  • Total voters
    498

The Littlest Shitlord

True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
There are certainly uglier cows on the farms, but Bob's no prize. As mentioned, he's fat and badly dressed, with questionable taste in hairstyle and facial hair. His beard often looks kind of weird and scraggly, like he compulsively pulls it out or something. And let's not forget about his weird sunken cheeks, looking so jarringly out of place on his bloated body. And his Twitter avatars do him no favors either when he shows his face; he went from Smug Yellow Piss Bob to Literal Mouth-Breather Sunglasses Bob. And the green tint from his incompetent green-screening makes him look ugly too. But honestly it's knowledge of his inner ugliness that takes him all the way down from a 3.5 to a 0 on a scale of 1 to 10. Like when you look at a girlcow who would be passable but you know that she's a cluster B headcase bitch who stinks because she's a drunk with awful hygiene.
 
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LordofCringe7206

kiwifarms.net
There are certainly uglier cows on the farms, but Bob's no prize. As mentioned, he's fat and badly dressed, with questionable taste in hairstyle and facial hair. His beard often looks kind of weird and scraggly, like he compulsively pulls it out or something. And let's not forget about his weird sunken cheeks, looking so jarringly out of place on his bloated body. And his Twitter avatars do him no favors either when he shows his face; he went from Smug Yellow Piss Bob to Literal Mouth-Breather Sunglasses Bob. And the green tint from his incompetent green-screening makes him look ugly too. But honestly it's knowledge of his inner ugliness that takes him all the way down from a 3.5 to a 0 on a scale of 1 to 10. Like when you look at a girlcow who would be passable but you know that she's a cluster B headcase bitch who stinks because she's a drunk with awful hygiene.
This raises an interesting question that I've been meaning to ask others here: what would you do to make Bob look appealing? Ignoring his personality, how would you go about trying to physically improve him so that he looks normal or at least better than he is now?

I would get him on a strict diet and exercise regiment for one. Given his age I might have him go to a doctor to look into getting on some testosterone boosters. I would also have him go outside on a daily basis to get some more sun exposure. He will start using skincare products as well.

There's not much we can do with his face, he just has too many ugly features. As for hair I would have him look into what his options are transplant wise. Between that and some beard restoration, he could have thicker and fuller hair that can be easily styled to fit him.

As for style, I would get rid of all his current clothing. No more nerd t-shirts, Mario jackets or clothing that doesn't go together. I would have him start wearing button ups, plaid shirts and polos. I would also have him look into getting contacts or eye surgery, lose the glasses since no style seems to work for him.
 

Benisbro

kiwifarms.net
The delectable poetry of Bob's ugliness is that it is entirely self-inflicted.

He'd be quite normal looking, maybe even handsome, if he wasn't such a fat fuck and didn't feel the need to hide his disgusting frog-chin with an even more repulsive neckbeard. He's actually quite tall and some people can make pattern baldness work or at least hide it, so with decent dietary/exercise habits and an eye for fashion even slightly above that of Chris(tine) Chan it's possible Bob could even look like a well adjusted fucking adult.

Why do that, though, when you can sperg on twitter all day then consoom a few products and praise our corporate overlords?
 

Positron

Corvid-19 Codename: Jackdaw
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
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This should be the universal reply to all Bobby's tweets. Indeed this should be in the OP.

Wouldn't [giving half trillion dollars to big corporations] be a good idea considering what's going on? I don't understand politics or economy, so just tell me how wrong I am if I am.
There is no such thing as "good idea" by Trump. Even if Trump gave out half trillion bucks to the most poor and "marginalized" people, SJWs will continue to yell about Universal Basic Income and some such.

[AOC] does have nice tits.
Bobby's taste is more exaggerated and artificial.
 
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Doctor Placebo

Marvel's Superior 2D Aryan Superwoman
kiwifarms.net
I kinda think the main reason the Scot Pilgrim movie has fans is because their fans of Edgar Wright and don't want to admit he has a bad film.
The directing and visuals of the film are actually really good. The film looks great. It has good choreography and comedic timing.

The problem is the script, which goes back to the source material. It's the story of a romance between a pair of selfish hipster assholes who screw over the few decent people in their lives. Scott goes from a selfish asshole with fairy tale ideas of romance and a soulmate to a selfish asshole with a somewhat more realistic/cynical view of romance. That's the big arc of the movie, and there's no reason to care because Scott is a selfish asshole regardless. As for Ramona, she's the perfect fictionalized version of the type of basic bitch who cultivates an "interesting" image by doing shallow shit like dye her hair different colors, listen to obscure bands, screw a wide assortment of weirdos, and stare off into space a lot to hide her lack of any actual personality and talent. What does she even do in the movie besides dress "quirky" and screw guys (and one girl, because gotta get that on your resume)?

Even like 80% of the people who like the movie admit that the main characters are shitheads, and the other 20% are people you should avoid.

She does have nice tits.
Better than mommy Warren and mommy Hillary, Robert's two other congresswoman fetishes, at least.

There is no such thing as "good idea" by Trump. Even if Trump gave out half trillion bucks to the most poor and "marginalized" people, SJWs will continue to yell about Universal Basic Income and some such.
They'd say he was doing it to manipulate people as part of some diabolical scheme that no doubt would end in herding minorities into gas chambers.
 

Maggots on a Train v2

new and improved account
kiwifarms.net
People keep calling Bobbychip "ugly" but I'm not seeing it. I've never seen it. The only really "ugly" feature he, physically, has is that he's overweight but I've seen lots of obsolete mayo ghouls who got themselves a hot chick even though they've eaten so much meat that it's starting to turn them into livestock themselves. If he's ugly in any way, it's in that he's just a boring asshole. He is neither hot nor cold so the gene pool will spit him out.
I think he would have just been an average looking dude if he had got a real job, been serious about his therapy, stayed a healthy weight, and avoided social justice. He's added 15+ years to his face and body just from bad choices.
 

Krokodil Overdose

[|][||][||][|_]
kiwifarms.net
Bob's basic problem is that he's so steeped in escapism that he's lost track of the reality that he's escaping from. Sometimes I'm legitimately curious about his ability to distinguish fact from fiction, then I remember that he's such an asshole I don't actually care. That's why he won't take care of himself: his life is lived vicariously through Twitter, where his svelte immoral robot body is JUST around the corner, as opposed to the declining, diabetic lump of flesh that he packs into tacky, ill-fitting clothes that exists in mere reality.

It's why he stans so hard for troons: the idea that you can radically remake your body beyond the limits of mere biology is something he NEEDS to be true for his life not to have been a sodium and cholesterol filled waste.
 

Adamska

Last Gunman
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Bobby's biggest sins looks wise are what he wears and how he acts. A fat dude with sunken jowls ain't pretty, but being a hate-filled fat guy with jowls that unironically wears shades, a manchild shirt, and a duster definitely doesn't help.
 

Mola Ram

Self Righteous Ego Bastard Asshole
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Bobby's biggest sins looks wise are what he wears and how he acts. A fat dude with sunken jowls ain't pretty, but being a hate-filled fat guy with jowls that unironically wears shades, a manchild shirt, and a duster definitely doesn't help.
There are a few things about Bob's appearance I don't think he can help (those sunken cheeks, and the way his eyes are just ... off, which is probably something to do with whatever mental issues he's got), but the biggest problem isn't his weight. It's that he dresses like a fucking child. Look at the infamous hoverhand picture of Anita. Unfortunate glasses, but beyond that he's just a Standard Issue Fat Guy. Not a whole lot to be ashamed of. Stick him in a bright primary colored superhero t-shirt, or some ghastly mess like his Super Mario tuxedo, and oof. Every flaw is lit up in Day Glo colors.
 
It's why he stans so hard for troons: the idea that you can radically remake your body beyond the limits of mere biology is something he NEEDS to be true for his life not to have been a sodium and cholesterol filled waste.
Piggybacking off of this. Bob's science-fetishism is probably some kind of defense mechanism. Deep down he knows what he is. He knows he's fat, living in a basement with the beetus. That the people he looks up to are dismissive of him at best, or at worst view him as actively detrimental to the cause. But rather than take a hard couple of days for introspection and reflection on himself and his life (which takes effort and facing uncomfortable truths), Bobby-boy decides to believe in Science™.

And I mean believe. The way he talks about the idea of scientific progress is the same way your aunt goes on about Jesus on Facebook. He puts boundless faith into "science" because everyone he looks up to in Hollywood told them that any day now, some black gay hebrew female refugee in a labcoat is going to develop a magic pill that will cure all of Bob's problems. And because its Bob, he thinks powerful people share his warped worldview. We all know Robert wouldn't let the obsolete ghouls brain upload to the spaceship with a big tiddy AI troon gf, so he thinks whatever powers that be won't either. The future he "earned" is the one where the Stasi comb through everyone's twitter history, and find him ideologically acceptable in the new apartheid.




Or maybe I'm drunk and the days running together in quarantine are starting to wear on me
 

Papa Adolfo's Take'n'Bake

It's screamin' good.
kiwifarms.net
Piggybacking off of this. Bob's science-fetishism is probably some kind of defense mechanism. Deep down he knows what he is. He knows he's fat, living in a basement with the beetus. That the people he looks up to are dismissive of him at best, or at worst view him as actively detrimental to the cause. But rather than take a hard couple of days for introspection and reflection on himself and his life (which takes effort and facing uncomfortable truths), Bobby-boy decides to believe in Science™.

And I mean believe. The way he talks about the idea of scientific progress is the same way your aunt goes on about Jesus on Facebook. He puts boundless faith into "science" because everyone he looks up to in Hollywood told them that any day now, some black gay hebrew female refugee in a labcoat is going to develop a magic pill that will cure all of Bob's problems. And because its Bob, he thinks powerful people share his warped worldview. We all know Robert wouldn't let the obsolete ghouls brain upload to the spaceship with a big tiddy AI troon gf, so he thinks whatever powers that be won't either. The future he "earned" is the one where the Stasi comb through everyone's twitter history, and find him ideologically acceptable in the new apartheid.




Or maybe I'm drunk and the days running together in quarantine are starting to wear on me
Whenever I read Bob discussing science, I can never shake one particular thing I read on /tv/ that has undoubtedly become fairly well known.

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This is similar to how I think Bob views science as an idiot. A rational view of science is that is a discrete collection of information derived from methodological analysis of observable physical phenomena. For an idiot, Science is this magic thing that makes the computer go bip boop, and exists to magically (which is really a substitute word for 'the party using this word has no fucking clue what they're actually describing) furnish modern humanity with all of it's desired conveniences and to service its emotional needs.

This idiotic view and this feel just fucking permeates a lot of the "science fugg yea!" posting I read all over the internet (hence I fucking hate 'I Fucking Love Science'). Movieblob's sfy posting, however just drips with this effect much like the grease that drips off his brow as he furiously types out his next tweet.
 

Godzilla@1989

Your move, Chief.
kiwifarms.net
Whenever I read Bob discussing science, I can never shake one particular thing I read on /tv/ that has undoubtedly become fairly well known.


This is similar to how I think Bob views science as an idiot. A rational view of science is that is a discrete collection of information derived from methodological analysis of observable physical phenomena. For an idiot, Science is this magic thing that makes the computer go bip boop, and exists to magically (which is really a substitute word for 'the party using this word has no fucking clue what they're actually describing) furnish modern humanity with all of it's desired conveniences and to service its emotional needs.

This idiotic view and this feel just fucking permeates a lot of the "science fugg yea!" posting I read all over the internet (hence I fucking hate 'I Fucking Love Science'). Movieblob's sfy posting, however just drips with this effect much like the grease that drips off his brow as he furiously types out his next tweet.
I guarantee you Bob was being a idiot in his biology class when he was asking why does biology matter in the Superior Future and automation.
 

King Dead

Cops are better when they're mecha.
kiwifarms.net
Whenever I read Bob discussing science, I can never shake one particular thing I read on /tv/ that has undoubtedly become fairly well known.


This is similar to how I think Bob views science as an idiot. A rational view of science is that is a discrete collection of information derived from methodological analysis of observable physical phenomena. For an idiot, Science is this magic thing that makes the computer go bip boop, and exists to magically (which is really a substitute word for 'the party using this word has no fucking clue what they're actually describing) furnish modern humanity with all of it's desired conveniences and to service its emotional needs.

This idiotic view and this feel just fucking permeates a lot of the "science fugg yea!" posting I read all over the internet (hence I fucking hate 'I Fucking Love Science'). Movieblob's sfy posting, however just drips with this effect much like the grease that drips off his brow as he furiously types out his next tweet.
It reminds me of Arthur C. Clarke's famous statement, "Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic." People like Blobbo seem to take this literally, and by that logic, scientists are wizards to them. Once they level up enough, all of society's problems will be cured, and they'll finally have their fully automated luxury gay space communism they've been dreaming of.

The reality, of course, is that there are a lot of smart people doing a lot of interesting things, but scientific progress is a slow endeavor with many factors determining what gets researched. One of the biggest of these is funding, which is almost always dependent on "can we make money off of this?" Part of why space travel didn't really go anywhere post-Moon landings was because it was so damn expensive and there really wasn't much out there to profit off of (I mean there's that asteroid made of gold and other precious metals out there apparently but we didn't know about that at the time). And I'm saying this as someone that loves spaceflight and really wants to see us go back to the Moon and beyond sometime in my lifetime. Despite my wishes, I know that space travel is not something that can make easy profits, so it gets sidelined. There's potential, but not without a massive investment of billions of dollars and many years of work.

Bobby doesn't understand that. Robots and spaceships and jetpacks are cool, so he should have them, costs be damned. He's a consoomer to his core.
 

Godzilla@1989

Your move, Chief.
kiwifarms.net
It reminds me of Arthur C. Clarke's famous statement, "Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic." People like Blobbo seem to take this literally, and by that logic, scientists are wizards to them. Once they level up enough, all of society's problems will be cured, and they'll finally have their fully automated luxury gay space communism they've been dreaming of.

The reality, of course, is that there are a lot of smart people doing a lot of interesting things, but scientific progress is a slow endeavor with many factors determining what gets researched. One of the biggest of these is funding, which is almost always dependent on "can we make money off of this?" Part of why space travel didn't really go anywhere post-Moon landings was because it was so damn expensive and there really wasn't much out there to profit off of (I mean there's that asteroid made of gold and other precious metals out there apparently but we didn't know about that at the time). And I'm saying this as someone that loves spaceflight and really wants to see us go back to the Moon and beyond sometime in my lifetime. Despite my wishes, I know that space travel is not something that can make easy profits, so it gets sidelined. There's potential, but not without a massive investment of billions of dollars and many years of work.

Bobby doesn't understand that. Robots and spaceships and jetpacks are cool, so he should have them, costs be damned. He's a consoomer to his core.
Which is why he'll scream out the government at his phone that the government is spending $2 trillion on recovering the economy hit by the coronavirus instead of making robots, spaceships, and jetpacks.
 

Doctor Placebo

Marvel's Superior 2D Aryan Superwoman
kiwifarms.net
It reminds me of Arthur C. Clarke's famous statement, "Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic." People like Blobbo seem to take this literally, and by that logic, scientists are wizards to them. Once they level up enough, all of society's problems will be cured, and they'll finally have their fully automated luxury gay space communism they've been dreaming of.

The reality, of course, is that there are a lot of smart people doing a lot of interesting things, but scientific progress is a slow endeavor with many factors determining what gets researched. One of the biggest of these is funding, which is almost always dependent on "can we make money off of this?" Part of why space travel didn't really go anywhere post-Moon landings was because it was so damn expensive and there really wasn't much out there to profit off of (I mean there's that asteroid made of gold and other precious metals out there apparently but we didn't know about that at the time). And I'm saying this as someone that loves spaceflight and really wants to see us go back to the Moon and beyond sometime in my lifetime. Despite my wishes, I know that space travel is not something that can make easy profits, so it gets sidelined. There's potential, but not without a massive investment of billions of dollars and many years of work.

Bobby doesn't understand that. Robots and spaceships and jetpacks are cool, so he should have them, costs be damned. He's a consoomer to his core.
Where Robert takes his view of technology from normie pleb ignorance to insanity is that he looks at the projections of science fiction as some kind of hard set schedule for advancements that were supposed to happen roughly around when they were being predicted in sci fi, and if they don't happen exactly like that it means someone fucked it up either maliciously or because they wasted money on something stupid like keeping the poors fed and housed. Imagine if he'd been born in the 1800's and consoomed Jules Verne books and other speculative fiction of the era. He'd be pissed off that guys weren't flying to the moon in three-piece suits yet five years later, and become a proto-communist or proto-fascist because clearly the lack of Victorian formal dress moon flights and encounters with moon leprechauns would be proof society is broken, and political radicals will fix the problem.
 
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Mola Ram

Self Righteous Ego Bastard Asshole
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Where Robert takes his view of technology from normie pleb ignorance to insanity is that he looks at the projections of science fiction as some kind of hard set schedule for advancements that were supposed to happen roughly around when they were being predicted in sci fi, and if they don't happen exactly like that it means someone fucked it up either maliciously or because they wasted money on something stupid like keeping the poors fed and housed. Imagine if he'd been born in the 1800's and consoomed Jules Verne books and other speculative fiction of the era. He'd be pissed off that guys weren't flying to the moon in three-piece suits yet five years later, and become a proto-communist or proto-fascist because clearly the lack of Victorian formal dress moon flights and encounters with moon leprechauns would be proof society is broken, and political radicals will fix the problem.
Well, shit, by that logic I should have had a muderous Darryl Hannah sex robot last year. Feh.
 

The Littlest Shitlord

True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
The delectable poetry of Bob's ugliness is that it is entirely self-inflicted.

He'd be quite normal looking, maybe even handsome, if he wasn't such a fat fuck and didn't feel the need to hide his disgusting frog-chin with an even more repulsive neckbeard. He's actually quite tall and some people can make pattern baldness work or at least hide it, so with decent dietary/exercise habits and an eye for fashion even slightly above that of Chris(tine) Chan it's possible Bob could even look like a well adjusted fucking adult.

Why do that, though, when you can sperg on twitter all day then consoom a few products and praise our corporate overlords?
Other his sunken cheeks and male pattern baldness, which are unfortunate genetics that he needs to work around, his two main appearance problems are indeed self-inflicted: he doesn't take care of himself (obesity, stick limbs), and he chooses to present himself extraordinarily poorly (bad grooming, bad clothing, bad Twitter avatars, etc).

This raises an interesting question that I've been meaning to ask others here: what would you do to make Bob look appealing? Ignoring his personality, how would you go about trying to physically improve him so that he looks normal or at least better than he is now?
Bob needs his own personal faggot. Both to tell him how to dress and how to groom, and to get his ass to the gym and give him exercise tips when he's there (there's a reason the gym is also sometimes called "gay church", because so many of them attend it religiously). Also, he's more likely to take advice from somebody who is officially not one of the horrible Trump-voting obsolete masses. The faggot would need to be paid though, since nothing about Bob is likely to convince them to want to do it for free.

Bob's basic problem is that he's so steeped in escapism that he's lost track of the reality that he's escaping from. Sometimes I'm legitimately curious about his ability to distinguish fact from fiction, then I remember that he's such an asshole I don't actually care. That's why he won't take care of himself: his life is lived vicariously through Twitter, where his svelte immoral robot body is JUST around the corner, as opposed to the declining, diabetic lump of flesh that he packs into tacky, ill-fitting clothes that exists in mere reality.

It's why he stans so hard for troons: the idea that you can radically remake your body beyond the limits of mere biology is something he NEEDS to be true for his life not to have been a sodium and cholesterol filled waste.
"Immoral robot body"? Well, any robot body with Bob's consciousness inhabiting it is certainly going to be immoral, so like diabetes from a twist of fat, once again this is a very apropos typo.