Careercow Bob "MovieBob" Chipman - A Stupid and Obsolete 39 year old Obese Fascist Eugenics-Loving Elitist Pop Culture Consoomer/Critic/Basement Dweller with a Mario & MCU Fetish Leading us to a Superior Future!

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How will Bob get the coronavirus?

  • From his family

    Votes: 16 8.6%
  • McDonald's chicken nuggets

    Votes: 171 91.4%

  • Total voters
    187

Doctor Placebo

Kiwi-Chan loves you, even if no one else does.
kiwifarms.net
It reminds me of Arthur C. Clarke's famous statement, "Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic." People like Blobbo seem to take this literally, and by that logic, scientists are wizards to them. Once they level up enough, all of society's problems will be cured, and they'll finally have their fully automated luxury gay space communism they've been dreaming of.

The reality, of course, is that there are a lot of smart people doing a lot of interesting things, but scientific progress is a slow endeavor with many factors determining what gets researched. One of the biggest of these is funding, which is almost always dependent on "can we make money off of this?" Part of why space travel didn't really go anywhere post-Moon landings was because it was so damn expensive and there really wasn't much out there to profit off of (I mean there's that asteroid made of gold and other precious metals out there apparently but we didn't know about that at the time). And I'm saying this as someone that loves spaceflight and really wants to see us go back to the Moon and beyond sometime in my lifetime. Despite my wishes, I know that space travel is not something that can make easy profits, so it gets sidelined. There's potential, but not without a massive investment of billions of dollars and many years of work.

Bobby doesn't understand that. Robots and spaceships and jetpacks are cool, so he should have them, costs be damned. He's a consoomer to his core.
Where Robert takes his view of technology from normie pleb ignorance to insanity is that he looks at the projections of science fiction as some kind of hard set schedule for advancements that were supposed to happen roughly around when they were being predicted in sci fi, and if they don't happen exactly like that it means someone fucked it up either maliciously or because they wasted money on something stupid like keeping the poors fed and housed. Imagine if he'd been born in the 1800's and consoomed Jules Verne books and other speculative fiction of the era. He'd be pissed off that guys weren't flying to the moon in three-piece suits yet five years later, and become a proto-communist or proto-fascist because clearly the lack of Victorian formal dress moon flights and encounters with moon leprechauns would be proof society is broken, and political radicals will fix the problem.
 
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Mola Ram

Self Righteous Ego Bastard Asshole
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Where Robert takes his view of technology from normie pleb ignorance to insanity is that he looks at the projections of science fiction as some kind of hard set schedule for advancements that were supposed to happen roughly around when they were being predicted in sci fi, and if they don't happen exactly like that it means someone fucked it up either maliciously or because they wasted money on something stupid like keeping the poors fed and housed. Imagine if he'd been born in the 1800's and consoomed Jules Verne books and other speculative fiction of the era. He'd be pissed off that guys weren't flying to the moon in three-piece suits yet five years later, and become a proto-communist or proto-fascist because clearly the lack of Victorian formal dress moon flights and encounters with moon leprechauns would be proof society is broken, and political radicals will fix the problem.
Well, shit, by that logic I should have had a muderous Darryl Hannah sex robot last year. Feh.
 

The Littlest Shitlord

True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
The delectable poetry of Bob's ugliness is that it is entirely self-inflicted.

He'd be quite normal looking, maybe even handsome, if he wasn't such a fat fuck and didn't feel the need to hide his disgusting frog-chin with an even more repulsive neckbeard. He's actually quite tall and some people can make pattern baldness work or at least hide it, so with decent dietary/exercise habits and an eye for fashion even slightly above that of Chris(tine) Chan it's possible Bob could even look like a well adjusted fucking adult.

Why do that, though, when you can sperg on twitter all day then consoom a few products and praise our corporate overlords?
Other his sunken cheeks and male pattern baldness, which are unfortunate genetics that he needs to work around, his two main appearance problems are indeed self-inflicted: he doesn't take care of himself (obesity, stick limbs), and he chooses to present himself extraordinarily poorly (bad grooming, bad clothing, bad Twitter avatars, etc).

This raises an interesting question that I've been meaning to ask others here: what would you do to make Bob look appealing? Ignoring his personality, how would you go about trying to physically improve him so that he looks normal or at least better than he is now?
Bob needs his own personal faggot. Both to tell him how to dress and how to groom, and to get his ass to the gym and give him exercise tips when he's there (there's a reason the gym is also sometimes called "gay church", because so many of them attend it religiously). Also, he's more likely to take advice from somebody who is officially not one of the horrible Trump-voting obsolete masses. The faggot would need to be paid though, since nothing about Bob is likely to convince them to want to do it for free.

Bob's basic problem is that he's so steeped in escapism that he's lost track of the reality that he's escaping from. Sometimes I'm legitimately curious about his ability to distinguish fact from fiction, then I remember that he's such an asshole I don't actually care. That's why he won't take care of himself: his life is lived vicariously through Twitter, where his svelte immoral robot body is JUST around the corner, as opposed to the declining, diabetic lump of flesh that he packs into tacky, ill-fitting clothes that exists in mere reality.

It's why he stans so hard for troons: the idea that you can radically remake your body beyond the limits of mere biology is something he NEEDS to be true for his life not to have been a sodium and cholesterol filled waste.
"Immoral robot body"? Well, any robot body with Bob's consciousness inhabiting it is certainly going to be immoral, so like diabetes from a twist of fat, once again this is a very apropos typo.
 
It reminds me of Arthur C. Clarke's famous statement, "Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic." People like Blobbo seem to take this literally, and by that logic, scientists are wizards to them. Once they level up enough, all of society's problems will be cured, and they'll finally have their fully automated luxury gay space communism they've been dreaming of.

The reality, of course, is that there are a lot of smart people doing a lot of interesting things, but scientific progress is a slow endeavor with many factors determining what gets researched. One of the biggest of these is funding, which is almost always dependent on "can we make money off of this?" Part of why space travel didn't really go anywhere post-Moon landings was because it was so damn expensive and there really wasn't much out there to profit off of (I mean there's that asteroid made of gold and other precious metals out there apparently but we didn't know about that at the time). And I'm saying this as someone that loves spaceflight and really wants to see us go back to the Moon and beyond sometime in my lifetime. Despite my wishes, I know that space travel is not something that can make easy profits, so it gets sidelined. There's potential, but not without a massive investment of billions of dollars and many years of work.

Bobby doesn't understand that. Robots and spaceships and jetpacks are cool, so he should have them, costs be damned. He's a consoomer to his core.
I think its been touched on elsewhere, but Bob's view of societal advancement is something akin to a game of Civilization. Whomever is in charge (Orange Man, Bad) determines how much of each city's output goes to what. He thinks that progress dosen't happen organically, its a tech tree. Once all the cities (remember, the plebs living on the tiles inbetween don't matter) accumulate X amount of points: BOOM, we just unlocked Clinical Immortality. He's mad that big mean Trump changed all the city focuses.
 

Elkesh Taro

kiwifarms.net
I think its been touched on elsewhere, but Bob's view of societal advancement is something akin to a game of Civilization. Whomever is in charge (Orange Man, Bad) determines how much of each city's output goes to what. He thinks that progress dosen't happen organically, its a tech tree. Once all the cities (remember, the plebs living on the tiles inbetween don't matter) accumulate X amount of points: BOOM, we just unlocked Clinical Immortality. He's mad that big mean Trump changed all the city focuses.
Don't forget the part where it's the most important that your side gets the high score.
 

Flexo

Can i get "kill all humans" on random.txt?
kiwifarms.net
It reminds me of Arthur C. Clarke's famous statement, "Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic." People like Blobbo seem to take this literally, and by that logic, scientists are wizards to them. Once they level up enough, all of society's problems will be cured, and they'll finally have their fully automated luxury gay space communism they've been dreaming of.

The reality, of course, is that there are a lot of smart people doing a lot of interesting things, but scientific progress is a slow endeavor with many factors determining what gets researched. One of the biggest of these is funding, which is almost always dependent on "can we make money off of this?" Part of why space travel didn't really go anywhere post-Moon landings was because it was so damn expensive and there really wasn't much out there to profit off of (I mean there's that asteroid made of gold and other precious metals out there apparently but we didn't know about that at the time). And I'm saying this as someone that loves spaceflight and really wants to see us go back to the Moon and beyond sometime in my lifetime. Despite my wishes, I know that space travel is not something that can make easy profits, so it gets sidelined. There's potential, but not without a massive investment of billions of dollars and many years of work.

Bobby doesn't understand that. Robots and spaceships and jetpacks are cool, so he should have them, costs be damned. He's a consoomer to his core.
Actually I think that's ALL Bob understands. Thus his point about Hilary. He believes if she had gotten elected, then all the government money you could ever want would be funneled into all the Science(tm) and then All The Things would have been made by now. Thus why he believes Trump's election has denied him stuff.

No joke. Because I've come across others like Bob which believe if the government stops funding it, then the Science(tm) doesn't happen.
 

Judge Dredd

Senior Layout Artist
kiwifarms.net
I would get him on a strict diet and exercise regiment for one. Given his age I might have him go to a doctor to look into getting on some testosterone boosters. I would also have him go outside on a daily basis to get some more sun exposure. He will start using skincare products as well.
I expect Bob does do that stuff, or at very least knows he should.

During one of his live action skits, he wore a white suit when he picked up a fire flower. Fans said it suited him (it kind of did), but when he brought that look back, his appearance had deteriorated and he looked like a rotten potato in a crumpled suit.

Bob's appearance has fluctuated over the years. I wouldn't be surprised if this was tied to his health.

The directing and visuals of the film are actually really good. The film looks great. It has good choreography and comedic timing.

The problem is the script, which goes back to the source material. It's the story of a romance between a pair of selfish hipster assholes who screw over the few decent people in their lives. Scott goes from a selfish asshole with fairy tale ideas of romance and a soulmate to a selfish asshole with a somewhat more realistic/cynical view of romance. That's the big arc of the movie, and there's no reason to care because Scott is a selfish asshole regardless. As for Ramona, she's the perfect fictionalized version of the type of basic bitch who cultivates an "interesting" image by doing shallow shit like dye her hair different colors, listen to obscure bands, screw a wide assortment of weirdos, and stare off into space a lot to hide her lack of any actual personality and talent. What does she even do in the movie besides dress "quirky" and screw guys (and one girl, because gotta get that on your resume)?

Even like 80% of the people who like the movie admit that the main characters are shitheads, and the other 20% are people you should avoid.
I never saw the film or read the book. To me, it looked like a try hard hipster trash. I can easily imagine the writer saying "Video games have bars and meters. What if there is a floating bar when he has a pee! I bet no one else thought of that! And bosses! Games have bosses and so does my book. I'm so clever!".
 

Drunk and Pour

kiwifarms.net
This raises an interesting question that I've been meaning to ask others here: what would you do to make Bob look appealing? Ignoring his personality, how would you go about trying to physically improve him so that he looks normal or at least better than he is now?
Set him on fire.

The delectable poetry of Bob's ugliness is that it is entirely self-inflicted.

He'd be quite normal looking, maybe even handsome, if he wasn't such a fat fuck and didn't feel the need to hide his disgusting frog-chin with an even more repulsive neckbeard. He's actually quite tall and some people can make pattern baldness work or at least hide it, so with decent dietary/exercise habits and an eye for fashion even slightly above that of Chris(tine) Chan it's possible Bob could even look like a well adjusted fucking adult.

Why do that, though, when you can sperg on twitter all day then consoom a few products and praise our corporate overlords?
I have to disagree here. Handsome would be a big stretch, but I don't think he would even look normal if he cleaned up his look. I always bring this up, so sorry about sounding like a broken record, but looking at pictures of Bob and Chip, you can see just how genetically fucked up he is. He has a small brain case, weird looking eyes, and I doubt the lack of fat on his face would make his skull structure any more appealing. On a scale of ugly-average-handsome, he is definitely closer to the ugly side than he is average. Everything about this guy is sub-average except for his weight.

Also, does anybody know just how tall he is? The photos I've seen of him is mostly solo. The exceptions being with his brother who you would expect to be the same size, so that not a good gage, and Anna Sarkisian who I think is a small girl and would make anybody look big. The only other pic I can think of is one where he's on a panel, and if they are average sized, Bob actually looked kind of small, but that could have just been a weird angle. I had a theory that Bob takes all his pictures in a low angle because as a MovieBob, the one aspect of movie making he knows is that low angle shots make the subject look larger and more powerful.

Bob's basic problem is that he's so steeped in escapism that he's lost track of the reality that he's escaping from. Sometimes I'm legitimately curious about his ability to distinguish fact from fiction, then I remember that he's such an asshole I don't actually care.

It's why he stans so hard for troons: the idea that you can radically remake your body beyond the limits of mere biology is something he NEEDS to be true for his life not to have been a sodium and cholesterol filled waste.
He's autistic, so he can't. Being an anti-social recluse makes it worse, because he lacks any type of real world experiences that might actually ground his autistic brain. His almost 4 decade life experiences is solely viewed through movie screens, tv screens, and computer screens. Oh, and high school, his last experience with actual people. And I like your theory on why he stans so hard for troons :like:

It reminds me of Arthur C. Clarke's famous statement, "Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic." People like Blobbo seem to take this literally, and by that logic, scientists are wizards to them.
I've thought that myself. They interpret that to mean, "ANYTHING is possible if we just Science hard enough". The first Thor movie touched on that with this quote, "Your Ancestors Called it Magic, but You Call it Science. I Come From a Land Where They Are One and the Same." So it's coming from Marvel, it must be true.

Where Robert takes his view of technology from normie pleb ignorance to insanity is that he looks at the projections of science fiction as some kind of hard set schedule for advancements that were supposed to happen roughly around when they were being predicted in sci fi, and if they don't happen exactly like that it means someone fucked it up either maliciously or because they wasted money on something stupid like keeping the poors fed and housed. Imagine if he'd been born in the 1800's and consoomed Jules Verne books and other speculative fiction of the era. He'd be pissed off that guys weren't flying to the moon in three-piece suits yet five years later, and become a proto-communist or proto-fascist because clearly the lack of Victorian formal dress moon flights and encounters with moon leprechauns would be proof society is broken, and political radicals will fix the problem.
I've thought about this too. These are the type of people who would watch a show on the Discovery Channel where they bring on physicists talking about how Star Trek tech is theoretically possible. They think they are smart people because actual smart people said something beyond their understanding that supports fiction, completely missing the whole "theoretically" aspect of it.
 

The tired cat

Fluffy angel of death
kiwifarms.net
I never saw the film or read the book. To me, it looked like a try hard hipster trash. I can easily imagine the writer saying "Video games have bars and meters. What if there is a floating bar when he has a pee! I bet no one else thought of that! And bosses! Games have bosses and so does my book. I'm so clever!".
Sort off, but not really. From what I remember, the book played up the whole world like it's pretty much a RL anime/video game hyper-reality so it kinda goes from the start either you are gonna go with this setup or not. I mean, that's like trying to shit on manga/anime for having dudes punch each other through walls or using swords the size of a semi-truck.
 

Flexo

Can i get "kill all humans" on random.txt?
kiwifarms.net
Sort off, but not really. From what I remember, the book played up the whole world like it's pretty much a RL anime/video game hyper-reality so it kinda goes from the start either you are gonna go with this setup or not. I mean, that's like trying to shit on manga/anime for having dudes punch each other through walls or using swords the size of a semi-truck.
Actually it's slightly worse than that.

The whole world plays like an anime/video game...
THEN towards the end, it reveals that this has all been in Scott's head (and he may potentially be a giant ass)...
THEN it reveals that oops, his dreams of Ramona were in face real because Hyperspace is real and isn't in Scott's mind, it just happens to run through there.
THEN they have the final Ex go to hyperspace and obtain a one-winged angel form which Scott must actually defeat.

So yeah, what bugged me about it is that the books could never make up its mind about what it wanted to say. The movie at least cut out all of that hyperspace bullshit and kind of let the world flavor just be - making it slightly better.
 

The tired cat

Fluffy angel of death
kiwifarms.net
Actually it's slightly worse than that.

The whole world plays like an anime/video game...
THEN towards the end, it reveals that this has all been in Scott's head (and he may potentially be a giant ass)...
THEN it reveals that oops, his dreams of Ramona were in face real because Hyperspace is real and isn't in Scott's mind, it just happens to run through there.
THEN they have the final Ex go to hyperspace and obtain a one-winged angel form which Scott must actually defeat.

So yeah, what bugged me about it is that the books could never make up its mind about what it wanted to say. The movie at least cut out all of that hyperspace bullshit and kind of let the world flavor just be - making it slightly better.
That last part of the book always bugged me and made me wonder. I remember reading somewhere this sort of theory or breakdown how the books are made to make fun of hipsters culture and this sort of "fantasy world" some of them inhabit. So, it makes me wonder if this shit was intentional by the author or if that what the writing gave the impression off, and by the end the writing just flubbed badly.
 

Positron

Corvid-19 Codename: Jackdaw
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Bobby doesn't understand that. Robots and spaceships and jetpacks are cool, so he should have them, costs be damned. He's a consoomer to his core.
Incidentally there is a theory that consoomers like Bobby, with their sedatory lifestyle and unhealthy diets, will by their cumulative health bills eats into a civilization's budget that no money is left for big money research like space travel. Future Studies scholar Milan M. Ćirković gives this notion a evocative moniker "Galactic Stomachache".

So in a sense it is Bobby himself, not Mommy Hillary, who holds the key to his Manifest Galactic Destiny.
 

Elkesh Taro

kiwifarms.net
Incidentally there is a theory that consoomers like Bobby, with their sedatory lifestyle and unhealthy diets, will by their cumulative health bills eats into a civilization's budget that no money is left for big money research like space travel. Future Studies scholar Milan M. Ćirković gives this notion a evocative moniker "Galactic Stomachache".

So in a sense it is Bobby himself, not Mommy Hillary, who holds the key to his Manifest Galactic Destiny.
Eh personally I don't put much stock into the suggestion that the absence of extremely inefficient megascale technologies means that aliens don't exist, or that there's a "great filter" which everyone deterministically fails to work around. The attitude of people like him encouraging focus on the creation of complex garbage is certainly drawing interest away from space, you got that right. But at that point it becomes a more generic question than specifically biological thermodynamics.
 

Pokemonquistador2

Electric Boogaloo
kiwifarms.net
Other his sunken cheeks and male pattern baldness, which are unfortunate genetics that he needs to work around, his two main appearance problems are indeed self-inflicted: he doesn't take care of himself (obesity, stick limbs), and he chooses to present himself extraordinarily poorly (bad grooming, bad clothing, bad Twitter avatars, etc).


Bob needs his own personal faggot. Both to tell him how to dress and how to groom, and to get his ass to the gym and give him exercise tips when he's there (there's a reason the gym is also sometimes called "gay church", because so many of them attend it religiously). Also, he's more likely to take advice from somebody who is officially not one of the horrible Trump-voting obsolete masses. The faggot would need to be paid though, since nothing about Bob is likely to convince them to want to do it for free.


"Immoral robot body"? Well, any robot body with Bob's consciousness inhabiting it is certainly going to be immoral, so like diabetes from a twist of fat, once again this is a very apropos typo.

Am I the only one who thinks Bob would be more attractive if he just owned the "greaseball Leisure Suit Larry " look and walked around with open shirt and chest medallion? He's got to know he looks like a lizard in a polyester sausage casing whenever he dresses up, why not just say "f--k it" and go whole hog? There's a chance that women might think he's doing a bit and start laughing with him instead of at him... There have been ugly men who've been able to pull this off. The only thing that might sink it is Bob's thirst/ white knight-ism, which would tip the women off that he's actually a simp instead of a Kavorka Man.
 

Positron

Corvid-19 Codename: Jackdaw
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Am I the only one who thinks Bob would be more attractive if he just owned the "greaseball Leisure Suit Larry " look and walked around with open shirt and chest medallion?
His ego won't allow him to laugh at himself. He can't abandon his signature Nintendo T-shirts because these are the regalia of his superior intellect.
 

Bolo

kiwifarms.net
That last part of the book always bugged me and made me wonder. I remember reading somewhere this sort of theory or breakdown how the books are made to make fun of hipsters culture and this sort of "fantasy world" some of them inhabit. So, it makes me wonder if this shit was intentional by the author or if that what the writing gave the impression off, and by the end the writing just flubbed badly.
Well, the whole Scott Pilgrim story seems to be a bit of a light parody of the mid 2000's young adult hipster live style. They definitely acknowledged the self absorved nature of that generation, but I don't think the author had any intention of making any real bitting commentary on that.

The Scott Pilgrim books are interesting to me, because when they came out, I was at the right time and place to love them, and so I did, I loved those books and thought the setting and the idea behind it were genius...

And then, a few years ago, I revisited those books and I found myself despising the books. I still think the setting and the videogame gimmick is quite clever, and O'malley can write a natural dialogue, if a bit Joss Whedon-y, and the art style does have a charm of it's own.

But the main characters fucking kill everything else. I hate both Scott and Ramona. And while the big idea of the book was to bring a growth character arc to both of them, it comes in the very last book over a relationship that never gave the reader any reason to be besides the two people in it being self-absorved assholes.

It's okay to have assholes main characters if the point is to redeem them, but at one point in the story, you gotta give the reader a fucking reason to care about these people and the trials they are going through, and I couldn't bring myself to care, and the end just falls flat, because you don't believe these two were ever in love to begin with. Scott was just attracted to the mysterious cooler and above all pixie charm of Ramona and his own childish desire for romance... and Ramona was just killing time when it was time for her to disappear into the ether and leave yet another broken heart because the thing she values the most is her perceived image of being the eccentric aloof cool girl, ever searching for herself.

For very few things I have such a 180 turn like this, and that is why I find Scott Pilgrim fascinating and a drag at the same time.
 
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