Careercow Bob "MovieBob" Chipman - A Stupid, Brutish, and Obsolete 39 year old Obese Fascist Eugenics-Loving Elitist White Trash Pop Culture Consoomer/Critic/Basement Dweller/Manchild with a Mario, MCU, & Asian Fetish Leading us to a Superior Future!

How will Bob get the coronavirus?

  • From his family

    Votes: 38 7.6%
  • McDonald's chicken nuggets

    Votes: 462 92.4%

  • Total voters
    500

An Sionnach Seang

Justin Bieber shit's like a cat!
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Wouldn't the superior future preclude the need for safe spaces? For the most part, we don't really need them NOW (with the exceptions of abuse or rape victims, which doesn't really mesh well into IDPol without negating some victims arbitrarily). Why would lesbians in 2050 need special clandestine symbols when they can openly meet and even get married in 2020?

Is the superior future, with neoliberal luxury corporation-assigned outlooks or see-through big booby fembots (mmm, wires and support framing behind tit-shaped plexiglass), not guaranteed to come or something?
alternatively, the Superior Future is overrun with third-world savages (i.e. cheap labour), and they tend to be violently intolerant towards homosexuality
 

John Andrews Stan

Superior futurist
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The more I think about it, the more revealing it is that Bob has never left the square mile where he was born. I haven't played vidya since high school (SMB3 for NES actually is my favorite game of all time), but I'd still love to go to Japan and see all the Mario shit there. Not to mention all the next-gen technological innovation in Japan and Korea. So I'd imagine Bob and his Mario boner would be even more determined to visit the place where his hero and "best friend" originated. Yet the closest he's ever come to Asia is the drive-thru at Panda Express. Is he such a mama's boy that he can't stand the idea of being more than a five minute drive from her?
 

Honest Coyote

My eyes aren't the only thing that's big
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alternatively, the Superior Future is overrun with third-world savages (i.e. cheap labour), and they tend to be violently intolerant towards homosexuality
How can a POC hold an obsolete view similar to a mayo ghoul Iowan strawman farmer? Next you'll tell me that women are just as pro-life, if not more so, than patriarchal men. Or that Disney is a soulless sterile megacorp ran by risk-adverse bean counters and not a bold, free thinking artist collective.
 

andr0id psycho sho(ker

I destroy internet memes with my creepy stare!
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Or as clownfish labeled it: multimillion dollar fan fiction project.
And it's not even good fan fiction. Instead of being a love letter to the source material, it's just a big wank fest of how progressive everything is and complete with massive shipping wars of who gets paired up with who.
 

John Andrews Stan

Superior futurist
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And it's not even good fan fiction. Instead of being a love letter to the source material, it's just a big wank fest of how progressive everything is and complete with massive shipping wars of who gets paired up with who.
What a shocker. Dedicated philistine Bob Chipman, who fancies himself a member of the "intellectual elite," is projecting delusions of anthropological and cultural relevance onto what amounts to softcore Tumblr porn.
 
  • Agree
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John Andrews Stan

Superior futurist
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Robert James

Not your average John Smith
True & Honest Fan
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The more I think about it, the more revealing it is that Bob has never left the square mile where he was born. I haven't played vidya since high school (SMB3 for NES actually is my favorite game of all time), but I'd still love to go to Japan and see all the Mario shit there. Not to mention all the next-gen technological innovation in Japan and Korea. So I'd imagine Bob and his Mario boner would be even more determined to visit the place where his hero and "best friend" originated. Yet the closest he's ever come to Asia is the drive-thru at Panda Express. Is he such a mama's boy that he can't stand the idea of being more than a five minute drive from her?
It's not that bob is a mama's boy he's never had enough money to go anywhere and has no savings. If he went to a different state then his familly he couldn't fall back on them when he eventually fails.
 

Doctor Placebo

Solidarity, my niggas.
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The more I think about it, the more revealing it is that Bob has never left the square mile where he was born. I haven't played vidya since high school (SMB3 for NES actually is my favorite game of all time), but I'd still love to go to Japan and see all the Mario shit there. Not to mention all the next-gen technological innovation in Japan and Korea. So I'd imagine Bob and his Mario boner would be even more determined to visit the place where his hero and "best friend" originated. Yet the closest he's ever come to Asia is the drive-thru at Panda Express. Is he such a mama's boy that he can't stand the idea of being more than a five minute drive from her?
It's not that bob is a mama's boy he's never had enough money to go anywhere and has no savings. If he went to a different state then his familly he couldn't fall back on them when he eventually fails.
I think more than anything it has to do with him being a retard who wouldn't know how to prepare for such a trip on his own, and a lazy fuck who can't be bothered with the effort. Booking a plane, getting a shuttle or taxi to the plane, packing his suitcase, booking a hotel to the destination, a shuttle or taxi to the hotel, making sure he has enough twinkies for layover, it's all too much for him.

Which is a pity because Robert dressed up as Mario at Nintendo, Japan HQ acting like a complete sped while Japanese employees give him wide berth and avoid eye contact sounds hilarious.

Bob's hard-on for hating "problematic" women is truly disturbing. It doesn't take much to bring out his rage against other people's wives, girlfriends, sisters and mothers. It's a good thing he's too much of a pussy to own a firearm.
He always says something about their looks. It's the first thing he goes to. Notice that? If he's not saying their ugly, he's calling them soulless sorority Barbie dolls or something, implying they're attractive while dehumanizing them. Maybe there's been a time when he talked about a conservative woman that he didn't open with a snide comment about her appearance, but every time I can recall, he has. He's pretty consistent about it.

Gotta keep funneling that incel rage into the proper channels.
 

John Andrews Stan

Superior futurist
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I think more than anything it has to do with him being an exceptional individual who wouldn't know how to prepare for such a trip on his own, and a lazy fuck who can't be bothered with the effort. Booking a plane, getting a shuttle or taxi to the plane, packing his suitcase, booking a hotel to the destination, a shuttle or taxi to the hotel, making sure he has enough twinkies for layover, it's all too much for him.

Which is a pity because Robert dressed up as Mario at Nintendo, Japan HQ acting like a complete sped while Japanese employees give him wide berth and avoid eye contact sounds hilarious.
I think you're right. This is typical of a manchild. His executive functions are almost non-existent. Thing is, if he'd applied himself as a kid (instead of thinking he knew everything and could make his teachers and shrinks look like fools), he might now be in a position NOT to have to do any of those things for himself. Once you get to a certain level in a profession -- even as a middle manager -- you usually have someone to take care of tedious logistics for you. And if he'd achieved a modicum of professional success, he might have even acquired a wife to pack and unpack his bags.

Alas, alas. Bob turns 40 soon and he's still a virgin, is still morbidly obese, still has never left the square mile where he was born, and still hasn't experienced life outside of a basement. No wonder he spends every waking minute on Twitter, trying to convince the world that he's really not as much of a huge failure in life as he seems. If he weren't such a POS, I'd feel sorry for him. But this is the future he earned. :)
 

Your Local Neko Girl GF

Big Fat Cat Tats
True & Honest Fan
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He always says something about their looks. It's the first thing he goes to. Notice that? If he's not saying their ugly, he's calling them soulless sorority Barbie dolls or something, implying they're attractive while dehumanizing them. Maybe there's been a time when he talked about a conservative woman that he didn't open with a snide comment about her appearance, but every time I can recall, he has. He's pretty consistent about it.

Gotta keep funneling that incel rage into the proper channels.
All of this because he can't find a wahmen/ troon willing to try and find and touch his penis under his girth! Sad!
 

John Andrews Stan

Superior futurist
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All of this because he can't find a wahmen/ troon willing to try and find and touch his penis under his girth! Sad!
Thing is, Bob's looks aren't what make ALL women avoid him. There are plenty of chubby chasers, fat fetishists, and outright feeders around. But unfortunately Bob doesn't make up in personality what he lacks in physical attractiveness. He's an arrogant know-it-all with nothing to show for all his supposed intellect. He has only ever lived in basements. He is -- and this is a massive understatement -- not worldly or sophisticated. He's not funny. He's utterly charmless. And he doesn't have any friends who aren't made of pixels. He's not a catch in any way, and is actually rather repellent. At this point, it would be easier for him to drop 100 pounds, fix his wonk eye with Botox, chisel his physique in the gym and get a total style makeover than it would be for him to improve his personality. That ship has fucking sailed.
 

John Andrews Stan

Superior futurist
kiwifarms.net
I'm just going to correct the possible hyperbole in this thread about Bob never having traveled: He has been to conventions and was on Escapist panels, numerous times. These often were trips to Canada. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QNB7jhxF9HY
Domestic travel isn't exploring the wide, open world as Bob's cherished "elites" do. That's the point. There's nothing to be ashamed of if you haven't crisscrossed the globe. But if you sperg nonstop about how you're part of an elevated class of sophisticates on the cutting-edge of a superior future, it's lulzy af that the extent of your travel is some mayo ghoul conventions in Bob's much-maligned "wasteland."