Careercow Bob "MovieBob" Chipman - A Retarded, Oafish, and Obsolete 39 year old Obese Fascist Eugenics-Loving Elitist White Trash Pop Culture Consoomer/Critic/Basement Dweller/Manchild with a Mario, MCU, Asian, & Pedo Fetish Leading us to a Superior Future! Got fired Twice!

Which topic will Creepy Uncle Bob claim to be an expert in next?

  • Animal husbandry

    Votes: 123 8.3%
  • Shoelace manufacturing

    Votes: 19 1.3%
  • Third century Greek sonnets

    Votes: 84 5.7%
  • Camping and wilderness survival

    Votes: 83 5.6%
  • Child psychology

    Votes: 711 48.0%
  • Movies

    Votes: 165 11.1%
  • Bee gynecology and obstetrics

    Votes: 187 12.6%
  • Tractor mechanics

    Votes: 47 3.2%
  • Suggest your own!

    Votes: 40 2.7%
  • Ecology

    Votes: 23 1.6%

  • Total voters
    1,482

Captain Manning

Good luck, kid.
kiwifarms.net
Doesn't everyone throws shit at Nostalgia Critic for his shit aniversery movies and his reviews becoming unfunny skit comedy instead of reviews with cut away gags that tied into the review. With Bob it's jealousy at Doug having a audience who loves and respects him and having a career lasting till the day he dies. While Bob is slowly dieing as he becomes Spax 2.0 with only trolls caring about him.
There's criticizing Doug for his mediocre content, and then there's the wackjob political shit Blob does.

Like, I don't even much care for Doug, and I can still opine that he likely doesn't deserve whatever stupid crap Blob is flinging at him right now.

Early Doug Walker was passable, IMO. Though there were always much better people on TGWTG (i.e. Brad Jones).

MarzGurl is basically persona non grata after what she did to Vic Mignogna and because of how much damage the resulting fallout did to the people who got involved.
I think you're falling into the same trap Bob does when analyzing people and groups. She's persona non grata here, and a couple of other places (those nasty "based and redpilled" places), but she's a stunning and brave woman elsewhere.

The simple fact of the matter is that the "mainstream" and "safe" option is the one Marzgurl almost always adopts. That unfortunately includes anything about Vic, TGWTG, etc. Cancel culture is pervasive.

KiwiFarm's Weebwars subforum isn't the entire Internet anymore than Twitter is.
 

Anglo-Saxophone

Oswald Mosley's ghost
kiwifarms.net
With Thanksgiving looming, I can’t help but wonder if Robert has ever had a moment of genuine gratitude in his life. If nothing else, he won the birth lottery of being born in the United States — though he’d never admit that gave him an automatic advantage in life compared to billions of others, not to mention all the other advantages he has squandered. I have a feeling that, even in his most private moments, he’s never experienced a feeling of thankfulness. Well, not since before his digital Vietnam and his digital 9/11.
He'll be thankful that he's a suburban retard instead of a "ruralite poor white racist", and maybe also that he had the privilege of watching capeshit and star wars.
 

AnOminous

shalom motherfucker
True & Honest Fan
Retired Staff
kiwifarms.net
With Thanksgiving looming, I can’t help but wonder if Robert has ever had a moment of genuine gratitude in his life. If nothing else, he won the birth lottery of being born in the United States — though he’d never admit that gave him an automatic advantage in life compared to billions of others, not to mention all the other advantages he has squandered. I have a feeling that, even in his most private moments, he’s never experienced a feeling of thankfulness. Well, not since before his digital Vietnam and his digital 9/11.
I may not be going to have a normal Thanksgiving, but I do have a fucking 20 pound turkey and I am going to be eating that motherfucker for a solid month. And so will anyone who visits me. Maybe we don't have a normal gathering, but we are certainly going to share food. We are just not going to have the usual gathering from five states. Thanks Obama or Trump or whoever.
 

Drag-on Knight 91873

kiwifarms.net
I enjoyed the Procrastitara review. How is EFAP anyway? The 4+ hour running times and furries on staff are enough to keep me away at a first glance, but are they good at Film Robert commentary?
They are where I keep calling him Diabeto. The EFAP lore is Movie Blob has the super power of diabetes and his nemesis is Captain Exercise. Also, the EFAP meme community is VERY devoted. The anniversary meme went on for 20 minutes.

 
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LordofCringe7206

What's that Plank? They're hiding in the library?
kiwifarms.net
With Thanksgiving looming, I can’t help but wonder if Robert has ever had a moment of genuine gratitude in his life. If nothing else, he won the birth lottery of being born in the United States — though he’d never admit that gave him an automatic advantage in life compared to billions of others, not to mention all the other advantages he has squandered. I have a feeling that, even in his most private moments, he’s never experienced a feeling of thankfulness. Well, not since before his digital Vietnam and his digital 9/11.
You can't have genuine gratitude in life when you have never been genuinely happy.
 

John Andrews Stan

901-922-9912
kiwifarms.net
Will the Chipmans celebrate Thanksgiving together this year? I want to see more of Cinema Robert’s culinary expertise like his blue cheese and chicken skin topped mac and cheese.
With Chris’s COVID-phobic wife clinging to walls at the grocery store while screaming and sobbing, I doubt they’ll be throwing their doors open even to family. Sarah has been COVID-free for weeks but published multiple FB posts about the lingering mental anguish.

Then again, they are a family of food addicts so maybe they won’t let a little COVID get in the way of stuffing their gaping maws with copious amounts of fat and sugar.
 

Sexy Senior Citizen

What's the big deal? It's called a fetish!
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
With Thanksgiving looming, I can’t help but wonder if Robert has ever had a moment of genuine gratitude in his life. If nothing else, he won the birth lottery of being born in the United States — though he’d never admit that gave him an automatic advantage in life compared to billions of others, not to mention all the other advantages he has squandered. I have a feeling that, even in his most private moments, he’s never experienced a feeling of thankfulness. Well, not since before his digital Vietnam and his digital 9/11.
On a personal note, I am thankful for the Kiwi Farms. This place, and Bob in particular, have given me much laughter over the years, and our mockery has shown countless autists how not to live their lives.
Back on topic: I think that even if Bob had everything he could ever want, he'd still never be thankful. His entire life is based around pining for what he doesn't have: the Superior Future, moon wheat, deplorable obsoletes in camps, a hot tranny asian girlfriend, and so on.
 

Adamska

Last Gunman
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
With Thanksgiving looming, I can’t help but wonder if Robert has ever had a moment of genuine gratitude in his life. If nothing else, he won the birth lottery of being born in the United States — though he’d never admit that gave him an automatic advantage in life compared to billions of others, not to mention all the other advantages he has squandered. I have a feeling that, even in his most private moments, he’s never experienced a feeling of thankfulness. Well, not since before his digital Vietnam and his digital 9/11.
He's mostly thankful for his delusion of being one of the elites. I'd also give him family, since at least he seems to like them. He also hasn't repeatedly begged using them as props unlike his shitstain of a brother Chris.
 

Jazz never died!

Brevity is the soul of wit.
kiwifarms.net
There's criticizing Doug for his mediocre content, and then there's the wackjob political shit Blob does.

Like, I don't even much care for Doug, and I can still opine that he likely doesn't deserve whatever stupid crap Blob is flinging at him right now.

Early Doug Walker was passable, IMO. Though there were always much better people on TGWTG (i.e. Brad Jones).


I think you're falling into the same trap Bob does when analyzing people and groups. She's persona non grata here, and a couple of other places (those nasty "based and redpilled" places), but she's a stunning and brave woman elsewhere.

The simple fact of the matter is that the "mainstream" and "safe" option is the one Marzgurl almost always adopts. That unfortunately includes anything about Vic, TGWTG, etc. Cancel culture is pervasive.

KiwiFarm's Weebwars subforum isn't the entire Internet anymore than Twitter is.
Marzgurl is better off than Bob while she did alienate a lot of her employment oppurtunitty due to the Vic scandal she still has a Twitter following and voice actor friends (never knew that the voices behind some of my fav characters in games were cringy). While Bob has scandal after scandal and is seen by most who cares a failure to be laughed at for being steriotypical manchild who lives in his mothers basement.
 

Koby_Fish

The advice of the GALACTICALLY STUPID
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
That reminds me, I’ve been meaning to ask: What does Robert think he did to “EARN” (emphasis his) his “superior future,” anyway?
-have the correct politics (Vote Blue No Matter What! / embracing IngSoc Justicetism)
-be Progressive in all things (not merely political, but technological as well)
-consoom product and wait eagerly for new product

Note that none of this actually includes Bob participating in bringing about the Soopeeryah Fyoochah in any of the usual ways (being in Math, Science, Astronomy, Computer programming or Computer hardware construction, or hell, just even doing good in school). It's suspiciously cargo-cultish, in that instead of Believing in Jesus to go to Heaven, Bob believes in Supeeryah Fyootchah, therefore it'll be bestowed to him, like believing in Santa will get him extra Christmas Presents or some bullshit from some "Afterschool Special" or some "anything can happen if you Believe" message from a cartoon from the 80s or 90s.

You know, for an alleged self-identified Thinker™, Bob thinks and behaves an awful lot like a Believer™. Except he's tossed one religion aside for another one.
 

Pagliacci

kiwifarms.net
I doubt he has ever had a friendly, lighthearted conversation in his life where both parties just banter with each other or crack jokes. He will never be able to laugh off someone having a different opinion from him or admitting he said something stupid with "My bad, four beers really messes up your mind", he will angrily snarl "I'm aware" and stew over his ninth beer of the night before returning to his phone once again.
"Angrily snarl 'I'm aware'". This is so obviously what Bob would do I felt like it deserved more attention. I've worked in the tech industry for near ~5 years and I can imagine him coming up to me trying to lecture why my experience is wrong. "I'm no racist but I did notice that 90% of the people at my work were immigrants from India" - "OKAY SPORT LET ME TELL YOU WHY THAT FACT IS RACIST AND I'M SO MUCH MORE KNOWLEDGE-ABLE ABOUT THE SUBJECT THAN YOU ARE".
 

Positron

Make Maoist moist again
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
The movie Bob challenge: find a selfie where he isn’t giving his autistic thumbs up.
Unpopular opinion but the thumb up is okay with me. Sure beats the V-sign of empty-brained hipsters.

Blood is thicker than mayonnaise:
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Bobby is angry that Michael Chiklis, who plays a rock creature in MCU, stars in a TV show that doesn't portray illegals as saints:
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1:38 of the trailer, Chiklis's character: Those lines are put there for a reason.

MCU filming schedule (article)
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Whor:
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Star Wars
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Lively discussion about the politics and economics of Star Wars. It all goes over my head.
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Cartoon:
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Meanwhile Russell Greer has a new challenger!
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Although the way Bobby simps -- "her apparently flaws are deliberate strokes of genius" -- is not so much Greer as Kevin "Prof of Beyoncé Studies" Allred.

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Nah, Matt was too much of a Chad to be mistaken as Bob.

There are hundreds of witty come-backs Bobby can choose from (such as "I wish I were that cool!"), but no, our Bobby has to be special and he has to show off his compendious lexicon:
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A few Asian regions are using (or, in case of Hong Kong, seriously contemplating) what they euphemistically call "contact tracing". People are required to log in with their cell phones every place they've visited. This thread describes what Taiwan is doing and is getting Bobby hard.
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QAnon and "The Great Reset". No idea.
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Wat?

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Oliver Thorns, of Philosophy Tube, isn't terribly good at parsing language. One wonders how he does "philosophy":
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No one said trans girls themselves are an "epidemic"; the epidemic is the social contagion that cause the girls to troon out.

In Bobby's Angels, Luke signs up for Democrat because he is queer yet he wonders why people call the Dems "queer".
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And he is chimping at Bernie Bros:
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Maybe, not that there is anything wrong with either class reductionism or anti-semitism of course.

New Angel @saintwalker98 is yet another Jake Alley lookalike:
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And here he and Bobby are bonding over TV:
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Various objects of desire:
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instythot

kiwifarms.net
On a personal note, I am thankful for the Kiwi Farms. This place, and Bob in particular, have given me much laughter over the years, and our mockery has shown countless autists how not to live their lives.
Back on topic: I think that even if Bob had everything he could ever want, he'd still never be thankful. His entire life is based around pining for what he doesn't have: the Superior Future, moon wheat, deplorable obsoletes in camps, a hot tranny asian girlfriend, and so on.

And as I read the words "hot tranny" , I realize that Bob's life is spent pining for things he doesn't have that will also never exist