Bob's Daily Routine? -

[BigBoss]

Since there's a lot of talk about Chris and Barb's daily lives, I wondered what Bob's daily life was like before he passed away.

Aside from getting his morning cup of McJoe, I really don't know.

 

[JULAY]

Since there's a lot of talk about Chris and Barb's daily lives, I wondered what Bob's daily life was like before he passed away.

Aside from getting his morning cup of McJoe, I really don't know.

I just did one of these for Barb. This one will be considerably shorter. Bob would:

Wake up. Realize that you're married to a fat Snorlax hoarder with severe mental problems. Realize that your son is a fat autistic manchild who shits himself and will never amount to anything. Realize that your other children want nothing to do with you, and you don't know if they're even alive. Resign yourself to another day of your wife threatening suicide and your son yammering on about Sonichus and Sweethearts.

Wait for the sweet release of Death... Maybe tomorrow will be the day.

 

[CatParty]

Also, he would thank the lord that as big as the hoard gets, all the inhabitants of 14bc live in seperate rooms with minimal interaction.

 

[Null]

Addendum to JULAY's post: He probably did what Chris did, and would occasionally sneak out to restaurants to get out and enjoy some peace and quiet. There was a discussion with Bob posted somewhere, in which he describes the difficulties of having a son he can't communicate with. He mentioned something about Chris not being able to grasp the concept of Australia, a large island country out the ocean that's thousands of miles away from where he lives. So he also probably tried to educate Chris when he was board.

 

[Henry Bemis]

There was a discussion with Bob posted somewhere, in which he describes the difficulties of having a son he can't communicate with.

If only there was some way Bob could've given Chris the tools he needed to communicate with others, a special kind of education, if you will...

 

[MysticMisty]

Until he got too sick to do so, Bob liked to have breakfast at Burger King (no idea how often he did this), then go home and hang out in his greenhouse mostly. In addition to some light gardening, Bob liked to listen to records out there. Why? To stay the fuck away from Barb, because otherwise I don't see why he wouldn't have hung out in the house more. Except that the greenhouse was the only room that was truly his, and he and Barb seem to have barely tolerated each other since Chris was very young.

 

[CatParty]

There was a discussion with Bob posted somewhere, in which he describes the difficulties of having a son he can't communicate with.

If only there was some way Bob could've given Chris the tools he needed to communicate with others, a special kind of education, if you will...

He also couldn't communicate with cole

 

[Christ-Chan]

Addendum to JULAY's post: He probably did what Chris did, and would occasionally sneak out to restaurants to get out and enjoy some peace and quiet. There was a discussion with Bob posted somewhere, in which he describes the difficulties of having a son he can't communicate with. He mentioned something about Chris not being able to grasp the concept of Australia, a large island country out the ocean that's thousands of miles away from where he lives. So he also probably tried to educate Chris when he was board.

Do you have a source? Never heard of this before.

 

[Butta Face Lopez]

Ha. Reading that reminds me of the episode of The Simpsons where Lisa complains to Skinner about her classes not being challenging, and his response is, "Of course we could make things more challenging, Lisa, but then the stupider students would be in here complaining, furrowing their brows in a vain attempt to understand the situation."

I'm picturing Chris struggling, the whole idea of Australia simply finding no purchase in his mind.

 

[LM 697]

Morning: Lay in coffin, decomposing.

Afternoon: Lay in coffin, decomposing.

Night: Lay in coffin, decomposing.

 

[Marvin]

Morning: Lay in coffin, decomposing.

Afternoon: Lay in coffin, decomposing.

Night: Lay in coffin, decomposing.

oh you~~

 

[Stratochu]

So Bob's record collection must be in Bob's shed where he had his swing and turntable... they have even greater hope of being saved then.

If I could, I would buy 14BC and the property's entire contents from Cole once CWC and Barb die (I imagine he would be next in line after CWC), go through CWC's room and the hoard, salvage & clean anything of value to sell at a garage sale out of Bob's shed once the house becomes a burn & learn, fix up the Honda and BMW, junk Son-Chu, donate the Aerostar, Cadillac and Mitsubishi to charity, fix up Bob's shed and Patti's house & pen, put a prefabbed house on the property, live there a while as I fix up the grounds, then sell it as a possible horse property if horses were allowed in the area, since it's a damn big lot.

 

[Anchuent Christory]

There was a discussion with Bob posted somewhere, in which he describes the difficulties of having a son he can't communicate with.

If only there was some way Bob could've given Chris the tools he needed to communicate with others, a special kind of education, if you will...

Such a thing exists? Oh if only Bob had known,I'd be willing to bet he'd have been 100% up for that.

 

[Tubular Monkey]

Woke up, got out of bed
Shook the bugs out of my head
Found my way upstairs and saw my son
Should have bought a gun but I guess that that can wait

Found my coat and grabbed my hat
He waddled down with gooey fat
Found my way upstairs and had a smoke
The stupid simple bastard then turned and spoke

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONICHU
SONICHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
SOOOOOOOOOOONIIIIIIIIIICHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
SOOOOOOHAHANIIIIICHU

chu chu chu chu chu chu chu chu chu chu

I read the news today, oh boy
4000 trolls in black face lace braziers
And though the trolls were rather small
They had to count them all
Now they now how many trolls it takes to fill the Game Place Hall
I wish that he was gone.

*orchestral buildup climaxed with a fart*

 

[sparklemilhouse]

Woke up, got out of bed
Shook the bugs out of my head

 

[Yawning Squirtle]

Woke up, got out of bed
Shook the bugs out of my head
Found my way upstairs and saw my son
Should have bought a gun but I guess that that can wait

Found my coat and grabbed my hat
He waddled down with gooey fat
Found my way upstairs and had a smoke
The stupid simple bastard then turned and spoke

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONICHU
SONICHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
SOOOOOOOOOOONIIIIIIIIIICHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
SOOOOOOHAHANIIIIICHU

chu chu chu chu chu chu chu chu chu chu

I read the news today, oh boy
4000 trolls in black face lace braziers
And though the trolls were rather small
They had to count them all
Now they now how many trolls it takes to fill the Game Place Hall
I wish that he was gone.

*orchestral buildup climaxed with a fart*

[youtube]elbHEGlltXM[/youtube]

 

[Hyperion]

7 am: Bob awakens to the sound of Chris screaming in his room and throwing things
8 am: Bob walks into the kitchen to fix some coffee, and finds Chris masturbating in front of the computer
9 am: Bobs naps while watching the news
10 am: Bob is woken up by Chris, who is in his room screaming and throwing things
11 am: Bob catches Chris masturbating again

Thats his morning

 

[BALLZ-BROKEN]

5:00am: Bob is awakened by the TV static shifting to the local morning news. Half asleep, he reaches towards his cigarettes, until he realizes he hasn't smoked since the war. He reflects on the war in a half-dazed stupor until 7.

7:00am: The perky brunette and happy negro are talking about the weather and local news now. Bob, now fully awake, realizes the perky brunette bears a striking resemblance to Patrica. God, I miss her, if only I-

Bob is seized by a burning pain in his chest, and has a coughing fit. A naive man might say it's homesickness and guilt, but Bob has lived with heart disease for many years.

8:00 AM: After much careful negotiation, and staring at a sleeping Barb with revulsion and contempt, finally makes it to the kitchen. Bob wants some coffee. Bob removes the basket from the coffee maker and sets it on the counter. He's now looking for something to "spice" up his morning brew, and searches in vain for several minutes until he remembers Barb made him throw out the Old Crow when Chris got his Autism papers. Sighing, he looks back at the coffee maker and sees several dozen earwigs crawling out of it. "Welp", Bob thinks, "Guess it's Burger King again."

9:00 AM Bob gets done taking a shower, after removing the baby carriage, and seven hardback copies of "Iacocca" from the bathtub. He finds his favorite plaid shirt and itchy wool pants sitting on the commode, right where he left them. Thirteen years ago.

10:25 AM: Bob finally makes it to Burger King, after finding a suitable vehicle. The Bimmer won't move, the Aerostar has a flaky MAF sensor, and the Escort smells funny. He takes the Honda, despite a stick shift playing hell with his bloated feet. Bob never trusted these "Jap Traps", but his nagging hunger overrides his prejudices.

Bob places an order: "I'd like a sausage biscuit and-"

"Sir, lunch starts in five minutes, if-"

"Did I ask for lunch, you retard?"

Bob sits in the booth furthest from the register, and eats a soggy sausage biscuit with egg and some lukewarm french toast sticks.

 

[sparklemilhouse]

9:00 AM Bob gets done taking a shower, after removing the baby carriage, and seven hardback copies of "Iacocca" from the bathtub

love it.

 

[TimBabinsky]

i always felt bad for Bob. You can tell when the trolls prank call him hes always keen to have a conversation with them, for obvious reasons. I think in one call (i forget witch) he invited a troll too meet him at burger king too talk about Chris. And i think he mentioned that he goes there every morning.