Bodybuilder Phil - The Muscleman Lore

  • Registration is closed without referral. This is a website about Internet drama.

    We need a 3PL

Schmeckel

If you miss it, you must be blind!
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Oct 25, 2017
Early EVO DSP was built and dressed like a school shooter
Current DSP is built and dressed like a school shooter. Except his parents don't believe in firearms, he's too much of a pussy to find any himself, and so he'd only go to school with bad intentions and wind up pulling Professor Chaos tier pranks on people and goat-laughing quietly.
 

Philly May Lyrus

Panda Lee Broke My Achy Breaky Heart *Snort*
kiwifarms.net
Joined
May 19, 2021
Current DSP is built and dressed like a school shooter. Except his parents don't believe in firearms, he's too much of a pussy to find any himself, and so he'd only go to school with bad intentions and wind up pulling Professor Chaos tier pranks on people and goat-laughing quietly.
Excuse me sir, he is also well trained in the art of emergency hatchet battles. He'd pull it out and several basketball Americans would tackle him then stomp him to the point you could read the Tim's logo on his odd shaped head.
 

Lilly Philly Burnelli

"Humana humana humana…WWE Champions?"
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Jan 10, 2020
I don't think it's homosexuality, ED is more plausible.
ED is absolutely a possibility. Around 2017, during the summer, when he was in his “I’m literally going to be homeless” nonsense, I recall Phil saying he went to the doctor and received some news about something negative that would effect him medically. He has never specified what this diagnosis was and I think it’s been pignosis’d into oblivion...and of course he could be full of shit as always.
 

Schmeckel

If you miss it, you must be blind!
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Oct 25, 2017
ED is absolutely a possibility. Around 2017, during the summer, when he was in his “I’m literally going to be homeless” nonsense, I recall Phil saying he went to the doctor and received some news about something negative that would effect him medically. He has never specified what this diagnosis was and I think it’s been pignosis’d into oblivion...and of course he could be full of shit as always.
Gout. Thanks, aunt.
 

Prince Lotor

Arnold Phil's-a-nigger can't hurt you now Bunny
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Jan 19, 2018
ED is absolutely a possibility. Around 2017, during the summer, when he was in his “I’m literally going to be homeless” nonsense, I recall Phil saying he went to the doctor and received some news about something negative that would effect him medically. He has never specified what this diagnosis was and I think it’s been pignosis’d into oblivion...and of course he could be full of shit as always.
I don't remember him ever actually going to see a doctor. I remember late 2017 he was baiting a mystery medical condition that he maybe would reveal. He eventually revealed that for like 3 months in late 2017 he was having chest pains. He claimed High Blood Pressure, Chest Pains, and "thought he was going to" have a Heart Attack. These were all self-diagnosed. He says he did absolutely nothing about it and it "just went away on it's own".
Timestamped @ 1h15m50s ; also right before that he talks about the only 4 lifts he would do on his own (Bench Press, Curls, Squats, Dead Lift) unless daddy was there to help him @ 1h13m15s Pretty much the only thing he would actually do are Bench Presses and Curls, in Phil's Narc-delusional mind doing a set of Bench Presses and Curls = Bodybuilder who was "jacked".
 

Yautja

kiwifarms.net
Joined
Sep 25, 2021
This seemed like the best place to put this. I can truly, TRULY, not get over the 25 pushups fiasco. That's the one thing that stands out in my mind as true evidence of Phil's physical delusion. Firstly imagining that he could do 25 pushups, secondly imagining he could do them that fast, and thirdly, the genuine anger that comes out when people doubt that he did them.

We know he's lying, his fans, sans extreme dentheads, know he's lying, he knows he's lying, but he still gets so pissed off. I can't help but think that while he was on the floor he actually realized he wouldn't be capable of doing pushups, which are like a quintessential "manly" skill and got so insecure he couldn't even play it off as a joke. Instead he flew into an actual rage talking about how the superchatter was a lying pos etc...

Excuse my autism but I feel like 25pushups is THE peak Phil clip. A joke donation forces him to lie for his own ego, make him insecure, and then throws him into a full tantrum all within like 5 minutes. Absolutely wild.
 

Derich 2nd of coomland

Why? Because we're here, lad. Nobody else. Just us
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Sep 19, 2021
This seemed like the best place to put this. I can truly, TRULY, not get over the 25 pushups fiasco. That's the one thing that stands out in my mind as true evidence of Phil's physical delusion. Firstly imagining that he could do 25 pushups, secondly imagining he could do them that fast, and thirdly, the genuine anger that comes out when people doubt that he did them.

We know he's lying, his fans, sans extreme dentheads, know he's lying, he knows he's lying, but he still gets so pissed off. I can't help but think that while he was on the floor he actually realized he wouldn't be capable of doing pushups, which are like a quintessential "manly" skill and got so insecure he couldn't even play it off as a joke. Instead he flew into an actual rage talking about how the superchatter was a lying pos etc...

Excuse my autism but I feel like 25pushups is THE peak Phil clip. A joke donation forces him to lie for his own ego, make him insecure, and then throws him into a full tantrum all within like 5 minutes. Absolutely wild.
For some reason this part of Phil lore tends to be forgotten.

You are spot on with your tism. It is one of those clips that for sure should be on any highlight reel one would put together as an explanation of why Phil is a lolcow or why you follow him as such.
 

Prince Lotor

Arnold Phil's-a-nigger can't hurt you now Bunny
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Jan 19, 2018
This seemed like the best place to put this. I can truly, TRULY, not get over the 25 pushups fiasco. That's the one thing that stands out in my mind as true evidence of Phil's physical delusion. Firstly imagining that he could do 25 pushups, secondly imagining he could do them that fast, and thirdly, the genuine anger that comes out when people doubt that he did them.

We know he's lying, his fans, sans extreme dentheads, know he's lying, he knows he's lying, but he still gets so pissed off. I can't help but think that while he was on the floor he actually realized he wouldn't be capable of doing pushups, which are like a quintessential "manly" skill and got so insecure he couldn't even play it off as a joke. Instead he flew into an actual rage talking about how the superchatter was a lying pos etc...

Excuse my autism but I feel like 25pushups is THE peak Phil clip. A joke donation forces him to lie for his own ego, make him insecure, and then throws him into a full tantrum all within like 5 minutes. Absolutely wild.
He wasn't on the floor in push-up position. His voice wasn't muffled at all like it would be if he was down on the floor with his face pointing at the floor. He was literally just standing there counting out loud.
 

Sup3r

kiwifarms.net
Joined
Sep 10, 2021
Phil's past is like a choose your own adventure book, he's contradicted himself more times than anyone can count. He just chooses which one he thinks is most convenient at the time. If he wishes to look strong, he was a badass who took no shit from would be bullies and could get whatever girl he wanted but if he needs to look like like a beaten down perpetual victim he was a nerd with an oddly shaped head who was picked on until he fought back. Anything about his past needs to be taken with a gigaton of salt, especially if it just so happens to make him look remotely normal.
 

Pretty Boy Extremism

IT'S THE JACKEEEEET
kiwifarms.net
Joined
May 24, 2020
He wasn't on the floor in push-up position. His voice wasn't muffled at all like it would be if he was down on the floor with his face pointing at the floor. He was literally just standing there counting out loud.
My favorite part of the Pushup Saga was when he sat back down on the couch and only remembered that he's supposed to sound winded 10 seconds into him saying that he really did do 25 pushups just now.
 

Phil Ken Sebben

The Potato Whisperer.
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Dec 11, 2013
My favorite part of the Pushup Saga was when he sat back down on the couch and only remembered that he's supposed to sound winded 10 seconds into him saying that he really did do 25 pushups just now.
There is no way in hell that a guy with noodle arms like Dark Dave is able to do more than three pushups. And I'm talking standard military pushups. Nose to the ground, full extension, back straight. He might be able to do five if he's using his knees.

The man has no muscle of which to speak of.
 

Prince Lotor

Arnold Phil's-a-nigger can't hurt you now Bunny
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Jan 19, 2018
My favorite part of the Pushup Saga was when he sat back down on the couch and only remembered that he's supposed to sound winded 10 seconds into him saying that he really did do 25 pushups just now.
Yeah, and it sounded like he had absolutely no concept of what a voice in the middle of doing strenuous activity would sound like so he just started counting slightly louder in a shorter staccato bark.

It's a good example because you can see as his mental illness quickly asserts itself and makes him act like a spastic retard about it.

As he gets back on camera he's slightly jovial and hamming it up a bit, but as he is looking at chat he quickly gets his feelings hurt and starts yelling 'Fuck you! It was real! And it was easy! And you owe me money! REEE!!!'
 

the khat quaffer

It's been fun!
kiwifarms.net
Joined
May 27, 2019
Says he gained about 20 pounds of muscle
He's got 20 pounds of bingo wings, maybe.

Dunno, I've done that with nearly all my posts.
This is the gayest shit people do I swear to god. Dude, it's okay, nobody's gonna tell your parents you used naughty words on the internets. Or did they already put some naughty word filter on your comp?
 

Nigel of Ukip

Leader of the Exceptional Illuminati
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Jan 9, 2019
Phil claimed his room was the party room in college.

Such a stupid idea on Phil's end to even imply he did something with a bird at a party where alcohol clearly played a big part.
Remember that he bought his first condo to impress his co-workers missus, and fuck her. The stupid fat git wasted around hundred thousand dollars to impress a bird only to not get laid. The only thing that got fucked is his bank account.
While I can't prove it, I believe Leanna was his fist girlfriend.

He was also never a bodybuilder. We have pictures of how he used to look, so I really wonder who he's trying to lie to?
 
Last edited:

Phil Ken Sebben

The Potato Whisperer.
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Dec 11, 2013
Such a stupid idea on Phil's end to even imply he did something with a bird at a party where alcohol clearly played a big part.
He's like that guy that was always making up stories about how cool he was. You know for a fact none of that actually happened or if it did Dave just happened to have been there and then later when he told the story told it like he was the guy.

He was also never a bodybuilder. We have pictures of how he used to look, so I really wonder who he's trying to lie to?
His wheelchairs of course. He's trying desperately to impress literal children.