Border-Line Personality Disorder -

pickledance

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I feel like I resemble the symptoms of BPD but the only trama I can think of is that my parents were very strict, believing there are proper ways of doing everything and my mom always is yelling and complaining. I have felt trapped because of her personality She always has this negative aura. Even when she appears to be calm. I feel like she's can only produce negative thoughts. Even though she gave me physical attention I feel like I dont relate to her or my father at all. I feel like an alien with a lot of people. I want to say I have BPD but I really don't believe BPD is actually like a disease. BPD may cover a certain behavioural tendency but I just don't see as something that you can have. I don't know. I just don't feel like there's something wrong with me. That why I kinda hate the word disorder. Sure, I'm atypical but I just feel like that's the way it is. There's nothing to "fix". Even though I am isolated right now.
If your impulsive issues are not effecting you on a daily basis than you probably don't have it. My mom was extremely controlling so that can cause part of the issue. I personally think you sound like you have some form of trauma and should maybe see a therapist and talk out you mom stuff and how to deal with it.
 

Morose_Obesity

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I grew up in a super-violent crack ghetto, plus white trash family bullshit I can't post about or I'd powerlevel, hard.

So far I'm diagnosed bipolar, Ptsd and Ocd. In real life I'm sort of a crankier version of Bukowski who doesn't gamble. I exhibit traits of Bpd but it's mostly because I grew up with a few peeps like that.and it rubbed off on me, I do dbt and it helps. I used to get in lots of fistfights.

Two people I'm related to have fucked up so bad with their bpd they've moved states a few times to start fresh but then they nuke everything again. Like, death threats bad. Haven't seen them in over 12 years and will only go to their funeral to make sure they really aren't a threat anymore. Won't shed a tear otherwise. Didn't when my asshole parents died.
 

Daughter of Cernunnos

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BPD is a bitch. I think it deserves more research, but since patients with BPD are notoriously uncooperative and unresponsive to traditional therapy, the psych community is reluctant to delve further into it.

i have comorbid Bipolar disorder and BPD, so i'm fun.
it took years and years for me to recognize my issues as illness, and not just 'i'm special and amazing because i'm so different!'. it breaks my heart to see tumblr bastardize BPD the way they do, because it's serious and it's awful and there is little to no cure. i'm on heavy meds but i'm still in no way 'normal'. i've put my family through utter hell and all i can do now is apologize.
I thought it could be cured with DBT.
 

Medea23

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If your impulsive issues are not effecting you on a daily basis than you probably don't have it.
This is not true. The presence of particular behaviours and feelings dating from early adulthood are used for diagnosis, and there is no frequency specified in the diagnostic criteria.

recovery is hard and rare for full recovery. So not always, it depends on how hard the person wants it vs using destructive coping... you can't cure a broken brain, just manage it.
I completely agree.
 

cuddle striker

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cptsd is used only in description of symptoms right now and is not a diagnosis. it's used because people who are subjected to prolonged trauma have different symptoms than those with a single event as cause.
 

pickledance

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This is not true. The presence of particular behaviours and feelings dating from early adulthood are used for diagnosis, and there is no frequency specified in the diagnostic criteria.


I completely agree.
But those behaviors all revolve around being impulsive due to the amygdala abnormalities present in BPD, whether impulsively lashing out, or impulsively self medicating/cutting, being suicidal or engaging in risky behavior, it's all linked to impulse due to fear reaction. If there is no impulse in your actions then you're more likely to be diagnosed as something like narcissistic or skitzoid depending on if you have dissociation qualities. The diagnosis requires rapid mood instability as opposed to slow cycling that can separate it from Bipolar, meaning if your moods aren't flipping or making you impulsive than it's probably something else.
 

Medea23

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The diagnosis requires rapid mood instability as opposed to slow cycling that can separate it from Bipolar, meaning if your moods aren't flipping or making you impulsive than it's probably something else.
I was referring to your statement that the behaviours should be 'occurring everyday'. That is simply not true. The rapid cycling does indeed occur quickly; and that can mean within a 24 hour period; but it hasn't got to occur everyday to lead to a diagnosis of BPD.
The rest of your post is irrelevant to my comment.
 

Medea23

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I got misdiagnosed with BPD
There's a lot misdiagnosis around. Several factors contribute: the internet, catching fleas, attention seeking and Drs that are shit scared of being sued if they miss something. This helps explain the mushrooming population of the wrongly diagnosed.

Plus in the US the Drs and therapists want paying and the pharmaceutical companies want to sell their products.

So many snakes and so much snake oil.
 

pickledance

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I was referring to your statement that the behaviours should be 'occurring everyday'. That is simply not true. The rapid cycling does indeed occur quickly; and that can mean within a 24 hour period; but it hasn't got to occur everyday to lead to a diagnosis of BPD.
The rest of your post is irrelevant to my comment.
It is, the diagnosis calls for a "The enduring pattern is inflexible and pervasive across a broad range of personal and social situations." as DSM5 (top of the page on what constitutes a personality disorder), it's what marks it as a personality disorder and not just "oops I guess today is a bad day". Persuasive is the key word there and what links it to destructive coping, people don't jump on the ED, cutting and meth bandwagon unless what they are feeling is generally shit to the point that they just don't care about consequence.
 

Medea23

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An enduring pattern does not mean daily, neither does pervasive. Many characteristics of disorders are enduring and pervasive but are not exhibited daily.

I do not know why you cannot grasp the difference between the concept of everyday and enduring.

I am bored with explaining that traits do not have to be exhibited daily to be recognised as part of a personality disorder.

It is not that hard.

It is pointless to explain why and how I know what I am talking about and am off now to waste my time with other less boring, pointless discussion and threads. I do this for fun not validation.
 
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Medea23

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I watch a lot of Columbo, so 'one more thing' that you might have missed in your internet searching. Diagnosis is highly subjective as are the terms 'persuasive', 'enduring' and 'pervasive'. That's one reason some people don't regard psychiatric diagnosis as particularly reliable or valid.
And now I really am going to fuck off.
 
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beansntoast

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I got misdiagnosed with BPD as a preteen, turns out I was just a hyperactive verbally abused child
I thought psychiatrists/psychologists weren't allowed to diagnose children and teenagers with personality disorders or that it was frowned upon at least, as "weird" behaviour ist quite normal when you're still in development bc your brain can't really deal with all the hormones and sensory overload + it's still highly plastic until your teens so you might very well "outgrow" them, and many children do

talking about brain plasticity: I don't believe you can ever fully cure prolonged childhood trauma or personality disorders and the likes, at least not if you start therapy after the critical phase. ater that brain plasticity drops extremely and you're basically stuck with all the shit you've endured as a kid forever. it's very hard to rewire an adult brain and it takes a lot of time, but it can never change to such a degree as a chid's brain can.
though I obviously believe you can do some rewiring and learn to deal with your shit in a non destructive fashion.
 

cuddle striker

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they don't diagnose personality disorders in minors. ODD or ADHD or RAD or the like, but personality disorders are fixed; teenagers are not fixed in their personality yet.

nobody is diagnosed with these until they're eighteen.

edited to add: it's in the diagnostic criteria and has been for decades.
 

Darwin Watterson

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I've dated at least one girl whom I now suspect to have had borderline. It was a horrible experience.

The funny thing is that one of my other friends liked her too, but she ended up liking me instead of him. He resented me for a while after that, but after the relationship was over and done with, I told him he ought to thank me for essentially taking a bullet for him.

He's a much more emotionally fragile person than me, and I honestly believe he'd have come away from that far worse than I did. And I had quite a big mental scar from her, so that's really saying a lot.
This bears a bit of elaboration. I won't go into too much detail because doing so would be powerleveling, though I can at least talk a little about her.

Like how innocuous comments would cause her to completely lose her shit and yell for hours. Or how she initially made a point out of being "the cool girlfriend" who didn't try to monopolize my time or push me away from my friends, but later decided that my friends were losers and she hated them, and tried to get me to stop talking to them. Or how she chimped out at me and accused me of not trying in the relationship when I didn't immediately make a Facebook status announcing our one-year anniversary. Or how after we'd already broken up, she chimped out again when she found out I was talking to a female friend (she'd always hated this girl and thought she was trying to steal me; she wasn't, and I wasn't even "talking to her" in that way).

There was worse stuff that she did which I won't get into, but this was just to give you an idea of what I had to deal with. We dated for about a year and a half. And yes, I DID have a good reason for putting up with her for that long. She lived in a nice area, and her family was very well-off. What started as a genuine fondness for her (because of course she wasn't like this initially) eventually turned into "okay, just endure this for a little while longer and you'll be set for life." Say what you want, but I was thinking about my future.

Oh, and to add a layer of irony, her mother was a child psychologist. During one of her more stable periods, she actually acknowledged that she probably had something wrong with her, but that she was never given any sort of help as a child because it would make her mother look bad to be a child psychologist with a child of her own getting psychological help.
 

Darwin Watterson

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She was never diagnosed with BPD (or anything, for that matter), but in my non-professional opinion she either had that or narcissism. She had symptoms of both, but I lean towards BPD because her ego was very fragile and she didn't really try to hide that fact unlike a narcissist. I didn't really have much contact with her parents so I can't say whether or not they had anything. Though her mother was very controlling.
 

glass_houses

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I'm very carefully not saying anything about kiwis who have been involved with BPD people. You either see the mayhem coming and escape asap, or you've got some reason to enjoy it and stay for more.
In theory this is true, in practice, no. All Cluster B personality disorders have a significant tendency to both seek out vulnerable people and then latch on like a tick. They are incredibly manipulative. I worked with a man for two years, and I'm dead certain the freak was a narcissist. He was charming and all of management were convinced that the mountain of complaints about him were racism and jealousy. Cluster Bs will sniff out mental illness and intellectual and. social impairments like a trained dog will sniff out narcotics. People whose families were dysfunctional can have a hell of a time learning that who and what they grew with isn't normal, and that's how domestic abuse is an endlessly perpetual cycle. And then you have people who are genuinely caring, who need.to have their own debts paid forward, who buy into the love thy neighbour crap, the misery lit genre, who have managed to help others whose behaviour is superficially similar to a Cluster B. Things like PTSD and bipolar can be confused with BPD even by a trained eye, so people who have their own complex mental conditions will feel affinity for BPD. And even when the Cluster B target is shrewd, knowledgeable, and has a well developed sense of self preservation, there are going to be times where their judgement is impaired and they are suddenly extremely vulnerable. That's why there's endless accounts from people who were grieving a loss of some kind and found themselves victims of an obvious scam that even they themselves can't figure out why they didn't see it coming.

There are many reasons why someone will buy into a BPD nightmare. And given that BPD tend to be sexually freaky and seemingly vulnerable by turns, it's easy for them to trap others who are prone to thinking with their joy department. And even when someone suddenly realises that they've been taken for a while, it can be incredibly difficult to extract themselves, because the first thing a BPD does after latching on is to destroy their target's reputation and relationships with others, leaving them isolated and without the resources to get the fuck out of there.

BPDs are the human equivalent of a Great White tasting blood in the water, and unlike a Great White, their hunting techniques are infinitely flexible and complex. If you've never been hit by one, believe me when I say that it's not entirely due to your social skills and honed bullshit detecting abilities; you've had more luck than you realise because there wasn't a Cluster B Disorder close enough to track you down before you stopped bleeding into the water.
 
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