Breaking up with gf, in love with ex, faking weigh-ins - 09/08/19

The Last Stand

I need more gin.
True & Honest Fan
If Becky and Amber actually do split, it wouldn't be apparent until much later. Lord knows she wouldn't just advertise it right away, drama breeds attention and she would milk it as much as she can for sympathy.

When it does happens one way or another, it'll be a front pager on Kiwi Farms. Clickbait titles can go in the garbage.


I’m Connor, the android sent by Cyberlife.
i mean, alright, amberlynn. everything may just happen for a reason. but, according to that philosophy, every experience in your life is designed to educate you and give you experience moving forward to properly analyze situations or opportunities that are destined to arise. even if a universal path is deigned for each of us, or you believe in fate, you still are your own master. when people say “everything happens for a reason,” they’re referring situations like a a toxic relationship giving them the foresight to really see when they find their other half, they’re talking about losing their shitty job only to stumble into a career they’re passionate about, they’re talking about trauma that encourages them to help others heal. it’s about life closing off avenues or battering you, but holding the certainty that these experiences build you and you will make it out on top, and then taking the steps in order to do so.

in fact, a good example of fate would have been: fat girl without support system makes youtube channel, fat girl finds support system and money and happiness in her fans and content which encourages her to put in the effort to develop healthy habits, fat girl loses weight.

instead, fate gave us a more comical result:
fat girl without support system makes youtube channel; fat girl lies, steals, slanders, fails; fat girl’s viewer’s criticize her, fat girl eats herself to death out of spite.

this is not a phrase or a belief system that applies to situations within your own control. it’s one that she adopted - as she’s far too much of a rube to thoughtfully analyze religion or develop a belief system based on what she deep down believes is right - in order to shirk her own responsibility in the face of failure.

watching her try to discuss topics with nuance like religion or politics is... difficult. it would be easier if she was many of the ignorant hicks who are generic “christians” because their parents are also ignorant hicks who are also generic “christians” and so were their parent’s parents. she has never analyzed something like religion any deeper than forming a borderline nonsensical and extremely vague interpretation of conventional beliefs (for example: if fate exists: why? who controls the universe? if agnosticlynn doesn’t believe in god, who is preordaining the lives of humans? aliens? chemtrails? a pantheon of several gods? most people who believe in fate are otherwise spiritual or religious.) instead, she uses concepts like these as safety blankets rather than as a means to reflect on the world and her experiences and how they formed her and how they will impact her moving forward. it’s just another scapegoat, or anticipated excuse, or justification for her constantly fucking up.

she never acknowledges the more dire implication of believing in fate. if she is destined to fail, she is destined to die. soon. but of course, she would never look at that side of things. it’s just, “oh, i failed x diet! well, everything happens for a reason.” because, of course, narcissistlynn would take the complex theory of fate and an interventionist god and typically twist it into her squishy, harmless fantasy that she only fails constantly and gains ten pounds a week because she’s probably destined to get rich and famous and sexy once fate - who she probably personifies as a glimmering, gigantic lesbian space princess who looks like miley cyrus - decides make her lose weight.


Ssssshhhhh I said ssssshhhhhhh. Tee Hee!
True & Honest Fan
She thinks she's trolling the haydurs by doing clickbait but all she manages is to look like a fucking clown because of all the shit she says

This is some DarksydePhil level shit of debunking rumours about yourself, "never happened, you guys are silly for thinking that", just denying everything and shitting on your fans for thinking that

Btw Hamber, just because you did YT for 6 years that doesn't mean you don't do it for money you 62 IQ hoe
I have been noticing a lot of similar traits and tactics that both Dark and Amberlynn employ.

One of the biggest is the selective way they answer questions. For example people guessed that Phil got a new cat but in reality, he ALREADY had the cat so technically he didn't lie (his lahgic not mine). For Amber she got the question about wearing concealer on her knuckles. She was able to answer generically because the question gave her an out. The question should have been do you wear concealer on your knuckles when you film/vlog.

They both have NPD so no surprise they share some traits.


destroy them with lazers
Every time I hear “I’m just going through something but I don’t wanna talk about it” my brain automatically translates it to “I don’t have a good enough excuse as to why I’ve been lazy/stupid/inconsiderate so I’m going to vaguely hint that I’m a victim once again so no one asks about it”

Also that fucking intro is so loud and annoying - instant skip.

breaking up with gf, in love with ex, faking weigh ins - 9/8/2019 (The Nightmare Continues - technically Day 82 of 100)
Because I hate myself and my blood pressure enough to watch these "inscrutiateen" videos so YOU DON'T HAVE TO:

(You can SMELL how bait-y this clickbait title is - obviously a tie-in with her Instagram beg for "rumors" about her)

- "If I wasn't doing 100 Days of Uploading, I wouldn't be posting" *glares at 17-minute length of video*

- "I want to be there for everyone" (Hamber, you can't walk upright for 4 minutes at a time, and can barely fit into a car - how you gonna BE ANYWHERE beyond Pillow Mountain for ANYONE?)

- "I know a LOT of people" (That required a flex, NarcissistLynn?)

- Literally two and a half minutes of her blathering verbal diarrhea about "agnostic" "religion" "universe" bullshit.


Ass: Your fave veggie is cucumber.
Reply: No. "I love onions."

Ass: That you eat more off-camera.
Reply: Doesn't get it. Does she eat more RIGHT AFTER the salad? No. Does she eat OTHER MEALS? Yes.

Ass: That you have such an awful life that eating is your coping mechanism.
Reply: YES. 100% true.

Ass: That you're an animal abuser.
Reply: That hurts. "I'd rather be told to die 7000 times a day" than for anyone to assume she abuses animals. (She only understands "abuse" as smacking - not feeding an animal to morbidly-obese status, or throwing a cat, etc.)

Ass: That you read every single DM.
Reply: She used to, but no longer does.

Ass: You're still in love with Destiny and you hate Dana.
Reply: Both are completely false. "I still love them bolth as friends."

Ass: You fast days and then eat a lot.
Reply: "No, I don't go days without eating, no." (*internet nods in agreement*)

Ass: You're fighting with Eric and Ricky currently.
Reply: No. And she WISHES people lived in the house with them to prove that's not true. (But then they'd also be able to vouch for her stench and hygiene problems, so that's not happening!)

Ass: Becky is breaking up with you.
Reply: "That is a no, we are still together."

Ass: That Becky's family hates you and thinks you are toxic.
Reply: Completely false.

Ass: That you stay obese just for money and views.
Reply: No! So many people think she would get more views and money if she LOST weight - but eitherway, that's NOT WHY she is "this big". She's always been this big (420 lbs at 16)

Reply: NOOOO. And then another promise that she "will tell us" if that happens.

Ass: Blankets on the windows.
Reply: No. That is a (mispronounced) tapestry.

Ass: You are abusive to Becky about food like when you saw her eating your cereal.
Reply: Thank goodness we get to address this "haunting situation". She was mad at Necky not for eating HER cereal, but mad because they were cryeen the night before and promiseen each other to lose weight together and THAT BITCH ATE CEREAL. Y'all, she was so mad she DIDN'T WANT TO BE FILMED.
Bonus reply: She has NO issue with Eric filmeen her in his vlogs!

Ass: That you use mental health to gain sympathy.
Reply: NO! "I don't want sympathy, or pity, or anyone feeling sorry for me." (She has no problem talking about her MENTALS, but nothing about this "personal" problem stuff she does NOT want to talk about)

Ass: Your weigh-ins are fake unless you prove them.
Reply: "My weigh-ins are not fake, they have never been fake, I don't know how to rig a freakin' scale." And yet she knows about tare functions enough that she got 'a talking scale that doesn't have a tare function'. Claims there were actual full-body weigh-ins where people didn't believe her (haven't been one of those in a long time, have there?)

Ass: I've heard you only do YouTube for money because Becky doesn't have a job.
Reply: No.

Ass: The emotional side of your videos are a call to Destiny.
Reply: Doesn't know what that means. All other YouTubers hang out with their exes!!! Don't booly HER for it!!!

Ass: You feel insecure because of the weigh loss of others in your house.
Reply: No! She is jealous about LOTS of things, but NOT others' weigh losses!

Ass: Feeders pay you to eat on camera.
Reply: No! Would never ever ever ever do that!

Ass: Your hair smells like coconut.
Reply: No, it smells like Nexxus. (Internet: No, it smells like grease, failure, and a cockroach nest.)

Ass: That you don't make enough money and that's why you have roommates.
Reply: No! "I have enough money to live on my own!" She has roommates FOR FUN. She can't stand to be alone! (The UTIs are proof of that) More ranting about OTHER YOUTUBERS.

Ass: You love when rumors are spread about you.
Reply: No!
(Internet: And yet it you used it to make a monetized 17-minute video.)

Ass: You're only a lesbian because no man could find you attractive.
Reply: "This is so false that it's scary."
Bonus flex: Claims she had to turn her SnapChat to private because she got hit on by so many men!

Ass: You put concealer on your knuckles.
Reply: "What does that even mean?" No. Because if she did that, the concealer would come off on things!

Comment from "i counted calories for 29 days straight....." (out of 2,365): Deniselle Swan - "She was even proud one time when shes gained. 'I'm still so proud of myself'. For what?!"
Response: "I don't even remember that happening, so if it did happen, I do apologize."

- Lighting a candle and watching Big Brother and Editeeeen! BYE!

TL;DR: SKIP, unless you enjoy listening to HamberLynn LAH for 15 minutes straight, after 2 minutes of other useless blathering!

Plague Dog
"I live with roommates because it's fun"

oh, fuck off, you need roommates to drive you to kroger and torrid and to pick up twinkie's shit and to have someone wipe your ass because you sure as shit can't

so much stuff that she can't do can be blamed for her weight, but she just denies that everytime
The funny thing is that she could probably hide a lot more if she slightly more honest. She lies so much that no one believes anything.

Yeah, guys who want her are not shallow and like her personality. It is not because they are mental deranged perverts. Most truly. Just like how she is definitely in love with a mentally challenged woman with the tastes of a 13 year old boy who is stuck in 2004. I believe all of this.

She needs to have a stroke or something. This is so boring and pointless.


It would mess up my metabolism
The video where she gets mad at Becky, she asks her "whos cereal is that?" First of all why would you need to whisper and jab ur finger like that? This is why she picks the partners she has, a person with self worth and smarts wouldn't put up with this beast for 2 minutes. She's almost 30 and you wanna control her eating a bowl of cereal? When I first saw that clip I knew right away AL has a abusive streak in her especially with the tone and how she acted when she was caught.

Isnt ur entire LIFE eating "healthy" that day and going over calories every single day? The audacity to have any input on what someone else puts in there mouth when you have a 106 BMI. The entire house seems to be losing wieght while you mantain/gain....