Infected Brian "Pleasureman" Uecker's My Posting Career & Ashley Hutsell Jankowski - racist nerd hating Something Awful spin-off forum (feat. Insane Fat Catlady Stalker Chimping Out)

  • Copy+pasting images with your clipboard now works again, ending the two-month reign of terror we endured of the prior notice.

Solution to the Salotrean Problem?

  • Split Ash into her own thread.

    Votes: 4 12.9%
  • Keep her in this thread's title, since she wanted it to be about her so badly.

    Votes: 27 87.1%

  • Total voters
    31
  • Poll closed .
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Tempest

Voci Dal Nulla
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Oct 25, 2015
My Posting Career is a Spinoff of Something Awful which is a racist message board full of Alt-Right types, MRAs, and other types like that.
It's founded and operated by Pleasureman, who after getting in a fight with some other racist board started his own board.
https://encyclopediadramatica.se/My_Posting_Career
https://mpcdot.com/forums/
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tl;dr They Don't like nerds at all

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Barack Obama is the nerd's hero
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they don't like commercials
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his method of converting people
:tycesuit:
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Thanks to @Internet War Criminal for informing me about this site
 

The Great Chandler

"Pickleless girls don't marry virgin boys"
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Mar 18, 2016
Last edited:

BALLZ-BROKEN

double dippin' DHS
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Feb 3, 2013
I don't know, "Eat shit, niglet" sounds like a convincing rebuttal or counter-argument for any debate you have in your private or professional life.

And if anyone acts shocked or offended by "niglet", feign ignorance and say you thought "niglet" is some sort of Danish confectionery.

And if that doesn't work, just start lifting and chugging cinamin flavored snickerdoodle combat powder and misspelling the word "post" as "poast".
 

Sheikh_Speare

kiwifarms.net
Joined
Oct 30, 2015
I don't know, "Eat shit, niglet" sounds like a convincing rebuttal or counter-argument for any debate you have in your private or professional life.

And if anyone acts shocked or offended by "niglet", feign ignorance and say you thought "niglet" is some sort of Danish confectionery.

And if that doesn't work, just start lifting and chugging cinamin flavored snickerdoodle combat powder and misspelling the word "post" as "poast".

180 poast
 

BALLZ-BROKEN

double dippin' DHS
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Feb 3, 2013
I got a secret I gotta share with you all... I joined MPC back in the day when Hangly's "squirting" fetish was found about, but I might be banned for razzing Pleasureman too much about spending $300 for FORUMZ SOFTWAREZ. I tried logging in, but my password didn't work and neither did resetting my password. Either PMAN stealth-banned me, or I'm just an idiot who can't remember my password or the email address I signed in with... both are equally possible.

But that's not the secret... I still lurk there even to this day, just to see some RippedPhreak poasts. He is a prophet and a treasure.

A meme is born
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Gettin' salty with da P-Man
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On forums etiquette
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Philosophy.
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Liftin' 14.88 kilos

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Bonus King of Niger poawst
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on a serious note

kiwifarms.net
Joined
Apr 17, 2016
who's hangly?
@BALLZ-BROKEN any interesting stories about them?
The only thing I remember hearing about hangly is that he married an Asian woman, causing his own forum members to turn on him for race-mixing, and that he abducted the child away from the mother or something and left the country...could be bullshit thought because all of this was heard secondhand from people on SA so take it with a pound of salt
 

BALLZ-BROKEN

double dippin' DHS
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Feb 3, 2013
who's hangly?
@BALLZ-BROKEN any interesting stories about them?

Hangly was the owner and operator of The New Effort (now deleted). I gave the Cliff Notes version of all these spinoff sites in the Something Awful and Friends thread but I'll give a more detailed history on Pleasureman.

Back when SASS was still around, someone posted a link to P-Man's blog, called Udolpho, where he made fun of nerds. He saw he was getting traffic from SASS and joined, where he was a popular poster.

Then SASS went down and Hangly started TNE. Hangly liked P-man and made him an Admin. Then they got into a slapfight over something which I really don't remember (all this was six years ago) and Hangly took away P-man admin powers and gave him a goon badge. This was the impetus for starting My Posting Career. Then Hangly banned P-man and shit just got nasty.

The only thing I remember hearing about hangly is that he married an Asian woman, causing his own forum members to turn on him for race-mixing, and that he abducted the child away from the mother or something and left the country...could be bullshit thought because all of this was heard secondhand from people on SA so take it with a pound of salt

This is Hangly's story about his Mormon family, his ex-wife and his custodial interference. All in his own words:

First thing you need to know about Mormons is that despite all the talking they do about the importance of families, that's not the whole story. Loyalty to the church comes before everything, including family. That's the gun the church holds to your head: if you leave the Mormon church, you lose your family and all of your Mormon friends too. I have several friends from high school who have confided to me that everything they read convinces them that Mormonism is bonkers and actually pretty creepy, but they stopped investigating and reversed themselves when they realized what they'd have to give up if they left. The Mormon church is also known to attempt to bust up your family if one of the parents leaves the church.

I'm from a very well-off and very old Utah Mormon family. My ancestors were pioneers. All my male relatives over the age of 40 are Bishops (which is the highest office there is at the local level) and are members of the Mormon business cabal.

I stopped attending church when I was 17, which in Logan, Utah (89% Mormon) is the same as announcing that you're a child molester. (Not a child molester.) Then I declined to serve as a Mormon missionary which makes you lower than toenail dirt. If you don't go it is generally assumed that the church won't let you go because of something awful you did, and those hot Mormon girls will not marry someone who has not served a mission unless they have absolutely no other choice.

So if you ever wondered why it is I split for Asia right after college, that's why. It's not because I'm disagreeable or repulsive, it's because I was essentially ejected from my family. We still barely communicate with each other and even then it's very chilly and formal. I relocated to Oregon first, and then Nevada but every time the Church managed to track me down and send the missionaries after me to reconvert me, despite the fact that I did not give anyone a forwarding address. (No I'm not just being paranoid, yes they do do this.)

I married my first wife and together we fled (lol) to Japan. Fleeing actually isn't a bad word to use here, actually.

So la la la we're getting along fine, and we have our first child. By this point enough time had passed that I had started to forget why it was I felt compelled to leave in the first place. It couldn't possibly be as bad as I remember. Sure they're weird, but not intolerably weird.

So around 2003 I called my parents, after not having spoken to them for four years, and tell them we're thinking about moving back to Utah because I think it's important that our son know his extended family. They ask me if I plan on attending church and I tell them yes I'll give it a shot. They tell me they think that's great and they'll have a job (and a house, and a car) ready for me when I get there. My dad is an executive at Icon Heath & Fitness, which is far and away the largest employer in Logan, Utah. Nepotism is rampant in Mormon-owned companies and pulling strings to get family members jobs is not uncommon.

I'm exaggerating only slightly when I say that 2003 to 2004 played out nsort of like the plot to John Grisham's The Firm. Except instead of working as a high-powered corporate lawyer I was being paid to do absolutely nothing. The executives at Icon told me I was being groomed to go to Xiamen, China and help bring the new factory there online. My official title was "technical liaison" on account of my Chinese skills.

This was a lie. Yes there was a project team but it wasn't until a year later that I learned I was not on it. During the year and a half I was there I was given no training, no direction and no one ever discussed the project with me. I was told I should "learn how the company works" and I had to figure out how to do this by myself. The actual project team (and the real technical liaison) were meeting in secret. Everyone below the executive level, I eventually found out, hated my guts (and justifiably so) and would not let me near any actual work.

While all this was happening my parents were working on converting my wife to Mormonism. She and my mother became very close and remain close to this day.

At the end of the year I was getting really really f**king paranoid. My own father it turns out was part of the ruse. (loyalty to Church & company before wayward offspring, after all.) He knew there was no real job there but kept assuring me that my coworkers would share with me more if I would only work harder. So I did work harder. I interviewed every department head, took copious notes and learned the workings of the company in scrupulous detail. In the end I probably understood the place better than anyone else. I also translated 18 2-inch binders worth of ERP documentation into Chinese. My flowcharts and translations were never used, much less looked at. They were just to keep me busy.

I must be kind of on the slow side because it took me more than a year to figure out the job was a ruse. I met the actual technical liaison by chance, and she had never heard of me. She had business cards with her title (my title!) on it and a copy of the factory business plan too. She was Chinese and apparently hadn't been understood that I wasn't to be told anything. We compared notes and I realized that the project I was supposed to be such an important part of had started a long time ago without me.

f**king bullshit. I wanted to quit but I couldn't because I was tied down by a mortgage in the middle of Darkest Mormonia and there were realistically no other employers in town. What I did do is quit going to church. Buncha lying f**king backstabbers anyway. This puts me seriously on the outs with regard to the family.

My first wife had always been given to bouts of depression during which she would self-isolate, say I never loved her and suggest maybe we should get a divorce. She said this every six months for nine years and I always laughed it off and reassured her. Around this time she was going through another one and I was so tweaked out and paranoid that instead of saying "nah baby it's cool" I said "FINE muahahahaha you're with them anyway aren't you? You're one of the Mormons hiding inside my walls spitting poison at me through pinholes!!"

So she goes "waaaah you bad husbarnd!" runs to my parents house and tells them that I kicked her out. (Not true.) And this is where the story gets really weird. Rather than sitting us down and trying to work it out like normal parents would, they couldn't be more pleased that we're splitting up. There's a good chance my ex will convert to Mormonism, but I obviously can't be salvaged. For the sake of her and the child it's better if we get divorced so I don't drag both of them down to hell with me.

My mother starts driving the process and things start happening with alarming rapidity. I said I wanted a divorce but I wasn't going to do anything about it. Those days I was spending my evenings watching X-Files reruns, getting drunk on rumpelminze and trying to figure out just what the f**k I was going to do. She hired a divorce lawyer (the father of one of my childhood friends and my former scoutmaster) and started drawing up papers. She told me the lawyer was for both of us and I didn't need to bother getting a lawyer of my own. (Mistake!) I made a couple half-hearted attempts to stop the whole thing but I was assured that it was going to happen and there was nothing I could do about it.

Also my ex-wife and mother completely emptied my bank account and never did return what they took.

I actually got a really sweet deal out of it. I kept refusing to sign the papers so they ended up removing all the alimony and child support obligations and my mother even threw in a small bribe. My parents and my former scoutmaster both assured we would have joint custody of our son and that was all I cared about. So I signed, not having actually read the documents. More about that later.

At some point during this process I confronted my department head at work about the raft of s**t he'd been feeding me for the past year and a half. He looked relieved to finally be able to tell me there was no job there for me, but I was free to work in data processing. I told him to f**k off and I quit. Which surprised him.

So my parents put my wife and 3-year-old son on a plane and send them to Japan. See you again in six months so we can swap? Ok. Deal? Deal. I didn't see him again for four years.

By this time I'm all "aaaauuugggghhhhh f**k the Mormons get me out of here!!" so I moved to China. I had been busting my balls for the past year trying to improve my Chinese in preparation to do just that, so I did it. Got remarried, etc. etc. you all know this part.

All this time I'm trying to contact my son. For the first year I got hung up on every time I tried to call. My mother and former scoutmaster (her lawyer) advised her that she didn't have to do anything she was not comfortable with, technically making them accessories to kidnapping under US law. Keep in mind I hadn't actually done anything that any normal person would say justified this kind of treatment. I didn't hit her or sleep around, I wasn't a drunk or a drug-user or a layabout. My only crime was leaving the Mormon church.

I finally got a lawyer, a specialist in international kidnappings based in Portland, OR who advised me to contact the US State Department which has a bureau that specializes in these sorts of kidnappings as well. I started talking to both of them on a regular basis. It was at this point that I realized I had gotten screwed again. I had been assured that I had been awarded joint legal custody of our son, as this was my only condition for signing the papers, but the document that I had singed and not read awarded full custody to my ex. Doesn't matter, the visitation schedule stipulated by US and Utah state law still entitles me to visitation, and jumping borders in order to avoid complying with the law still constitutes abduction.

I was persistent and eventually, after four years, got her to agree to one week of visitation in August of 2008. So I flew to Japan to pick him up, fully intending to send him back when the week was up. I even had the return tickets.

When he got here though the boy was just not right. I don't mean the dancing like a fairy thing either. He woke up screaming every night about something horrible his grandmother had done to him. (I still don't know what it was, because he doesn't remember when he's awake.) The first time I got angry with him, when he trashed a painting we had hanging in the dining room, he went to the kitchen to get a knife and threatened to cut his own throat. Also he was six and his mother was still breastfeeding him. For fun, I suppose. Who the f**k knows.

So I said f**k this. I have no idea what the f**k kind of family they're running over there but there's no way I can send him back. Besides, by my reckoning I'm entitled to at least two years of accumulated visitation. Also the State Department told me I was well within my rights to detain him prior to repatriating him. So I kept 'im. Still got 'im.

Everyone in Mormonia went f**king berserk. My parents threatened to prosecute me and had their lawyer (my old scoutmaster again) send me a bunch of threatening emails telling me I was going to prison. I was prepared this time though and told him to direct his communication to my lawyer. Heh. I also asked him (the lawyer) if it was true he had advised his client (my ex) to ignore US law. They were clearly bluffing because they dropped it immediately, and the lawyer sent me an email from his personal account telling me he had not so advised his client and it would be a very bad idea if I told anyone about this.

Here's where things get interesting again. I've got to get him a Chinese visa so he can stay with me but I can't because I can't prove we're related. His birth certificate is in Japan, and there's no way I'm going to get a hold of that. So I call the State Department again and ask if there's anything I can do. There is, he says. They still have my son's US passport application form on file with my signature on it from the time we left Japan to go to the US, and as far as the US government is concerned this is proof enough. He says he can send a meet with the vice-consul with whom I had been communicating the whole time, and he shows me the affidavit already drawn up. I paid 300 RMB to have it notarized and stamped and went back to the waiting area. Not long after I get called back and the vice consul tells me that the consul himself wants to speak with me. He had seen I was born in Utah, and the consul was also from Utah, so he wanted to chat. Fine, I say, and I go back to the window.

The consul, a tall blond older dude, asks me only one question: "are you Mormon." Like a f**king idiot I say "well I used to be lol." "Hm" he says "well just wanted to meet with you is all" and goes back to his office.

My number gets called but instead of the document I asked for the girl at the window just gives me my money back. What the f**k? I ask to speak to the vice consul again and he tells me the consul is "just not comfortable" giving me the affidavit. We argue but he says there's nothing he can do.

Well, what about the copy of the passport application? That's from the State Department, they have to give me that. Yes, he agrees, they have to give me that. And they do, technically. They give me a nearly white sheet of paper that you can only barely tell resembles an application, like they ran it through the copy machine on the ultra-light setting. It was completely illegible.

Is completely illegible, I still have it.

What the hell is this? He tells me the State Department sent it to them that way and there's nothing he can do, but he doesn't look at me when he says it. (That's bullshit by the way, the State Department sent it digitally.)

Amazingly enough the Chinese government accepted it though. God and the saints be praised!

And nobody really cared about Hangly race-mixing. What made people turn on him was his mood swings and his haughty ideas about making TNE "the right wing Salon", while most of us just wanted to laugh at goons and "niggerdeath" (niggerdeath being the old FYAD term for the casual racism that gets thrown around between edgy bad boy poasting bros). The thing that really put the nail in his posting coffin was leaked screenshots from The Gentleman's Club (which was the goon offsite porno torrent tracker) talking about female squirt porn and interest in prostate stimulation. If I can find those screencaps I'll post them here.

I refuse to believe something this stupid exists. It's like a bunch of people from the 1900s just came out of a time warp and discovered the Internet!

I'm pretty sure they're being "ironic".
 
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