• ”This whole site is a fucking joke”

BrightonCity of Pseuds

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Ginger Piglet, Mar 30, 2017.

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    I don't know if an entire city can be a lolcow, but Brighton, in Sussex, certainly tries.

    Back in November, in fact, on the day of the American presidential election, I went on a job interview with a firm in Brighton. I didn't get it. The bloke who interviewed me looked like a hobbit. But that's beside the point. One thing he did say was that he warned me that Brighton was an expensive place to live and that I should have a look around first before deciding whether or not to move there or even if it was affordable. So I did. As a result I've been brewing up this thread for months.

    For those of us who don't know of its reputation, allow me to elucidate. Brighton is sometimes nicknamed "London on Sea" because it's a city of 250,000 people on the south coast of England which is popular for Limousine Lefties to move out to. It has frequent and reliable railway services to the capital but is by the seaside and is less dirty and more progressive and tolerant than the Smoke.

    The side effect of all of this is that you pay London prices for everything because rich Londoners have all moved in en masse and priced out the locals. They've opened hipster clothing emporia, art house cinemas, a shop that glories in the name of Choccywoccydoodah which sells organic fair trade hand-produced chocolate which tastes no different to Dairy tard cum but costs twice as much. They've set up safe spaces and vegetarian shoe shops and radical co-operatives because they clearly represent the downtrodden and oppressed in society when they're all fucking loaded. The local university is renowned in liberal arts and humanities and attracts spoilt rich brats who virtue-signal like mad about their progressive chops while Mummy and Daddy make sure they never have to actually get jobs while studying to pay their way like some of us did. They then go and get jobs in said progressive spaces and pay themselves huge wages or get Mummy and Daddy to buy them a house - pricing out the locals in the meantime.

    Meanwhile they sneer at the locals as being the racist sexist Brexiteering lumpenproletariat, and patronise them, and demand they check their privilege, even though it was they who marginalised said locals.

    You can tell a lot about a place by its local paper. The local one in Brighton is called the Argus and here's a picture of its office:

    [​IMG]

    Yes, that's a fixie bicycle on the wall. Oh dear.

    I had a wander round Brighton after my interview. The first thing I noticed was the colossal quantity of Good Boy Points it will cost you even to rent there:

    20161108_123018.jpg

    £1,850 per month for a 2 bedroom flat is pretty much inner London territory. And the London property market went stupid for years. The outskirts and outlying villages are cheaper. But suppose you're a monied Hampstead parent whose darling child has a place to do Gender Studies at Brighton uni. You wouldn't let xir have to live out there with the lower orders, would you? Heavens no! That's just not on!

    Then again, the locals, or should I say, the London transplants, don't like the city's seafront and associations with a day at the seaside. The organiser of the Brighton Festival (a multi-day debauch of masturbatory pretention) caused much drama when he said that the seafront and the pier should be demolished because he didn't want the Primark-clad plebs shitting up his city. This didn't go down well with anyone outside of, well, Brighton, really.

    A large number of very annoying people call Brighton their home as well. Zoella, Pewdiepie, Denise Van Outen, Nick Cave, and various other pointless wankers call it home. It also has the dubious distinction of containing the first state schools in the UK to allow parents to put down their kids as trans. Despite the fact that most so-called "trans kids" are simply questioning their gender identity or confused, your average 5 year old wanted to be a fire engine when it grew up, and "hatching an egg" exists amongst the transtrender community. This act of municipal virtue signalling boggles the mind.

    While on the subject of municipal virtue signalling, here's a photo of the city's aggressively inclusive Christmas lights that I took when I was there:

    20161108_113024.jpg


    Can't see them all from here, but they say, "Believe," "Wish," and "Ding dong."

    Oh dear.

    Then there's the locals. Many are the hipsters and obvious SJWs who inhabit the city who came down from London and priced out the locals. While I was there on the eve of the US election I saw a woman with green hair and a shirt saying, "This pussy grabs back." I didn't get a picture because she was built like a brick shit house. Speaking of hipsters, the above mentioned Choccywoccydoodah, a restaurant at which you could actually get a deconstructed lasagne served on a shovel (which I thought was an urban legend), and this shop which sells glasses, and at which you can buy any glasses you want, as long as they're SJW danger glasses. (I did get a picture but my reflection's in it and I don't want Based Sam et al to have an excuse to harass every bloke in a suit he comes across.)

    Speaking of shops and things, here's a random selection of the other things they have:

    20161108_112728.jpg

    I think this sums up Brighton's shopping selection, in all fairness. Hipster cafes, wanky overpriced gastropubs, and head shops.

    Of course, despite the fact that the most visible Brightonians are hipsters and dangerhairs, they are of course all right on and ultra leftist (probably to annoy Mummy and Daddy) despite the fact they're clearly well off enough to do this sort of thing. Or are students. Found on the back of a bin while wandering round the city:

    20161108_111318.jpg

    Yawn.

    Indeed, this sort of empty gesture politics is typical of Brighton, where the local MP, one Caroline Lucas, is of the Green Party, and where the city Council is run by the Green Party. As a result of this, failure to recycle properly is punishable in theory by up to £50,000 fines yet because of this everyone bins everything in other people's bins so no conviction is ever going to stick, and as such the city is now one of the least recycling friendly in the land. The Green Party has an obsession with bus lanes and bicycles (natch) yet has done nothing to try to bring in jobs that aren't make-work for hipsters and SJWs. The London transplants all have well paying jobs in the cre8tive or media sectors or commute up to the Smoke every day while the locals... well, they are vilified by the powers that be as stealth racists and lumpenproletariat and generally ignored. Brighton therefore has one of the largest wealth inequalities in the UK because of this, and they cover it up with a culture of rampant virtue signalling and slick PR boosting the place as a creative, progressive hub.

    Indeed, the virtue signalling is so bad that the local branch of American Apparel put this on their store front, which I've seen nowhere else:

    20161108_114714.jpg

    Also, I was in Burger King after my interview because I was craving a grease stop and noticed that rather than have canned music or Heart Radio, they'd installed a big screen TV showing Channel 4 Music, so I was subjected to a side order of hipster tosh with my Double Whopper.

    But the reason why Brighton is a lolcow city? The constant bitchiness and judgementalness of its denizens - cf. that article from the festival organiser above. The chimpouts from the powers that be therein whenever anyone criticises it. The virtue signalling and inability of its denizens to take responsibility for their actions - here's a classic example, where the writer blames Tory benefit cuts for increasing levels of poverty in Brighton without acknowledging that the reason for spiralling cost of living and low pay is because all the locals are being priced out the market by London hipster transplants with loadsamoney like himself.

    TL;dr - A city that uses rampant virtue signalling to deflect attention that it embodies the worst things about gentrification, and is full of hipsters and SJWs.
     

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    Ginger Piglet

    Ginger Piglet CAMAB Male-Presenting Lesbian
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  2. You should come to Ireland; we're just like England but far more conservative (I should expand this, for the love of my forefathers...we do everything just to piss off the English). Ireland is like England with worse weather but better people
     
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    Bogs

    Bogs tfw no rock n roll gf

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  3. Just be glad you don't live in Glasgow. The whole place is coated in shite.
    images.duckduckgo.com.jpg
    Some of our picturesque terror towers.
     
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    Curt Sibling

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  4. So it's San Francisco with somehow shittier weather?
     
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  5. How likely would I be to be stabbed if I walked a mere 100 yards within sight of those towers of stabbiness?
     
    AnOminous

    AnOminous 20 year stellar government career
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  6. That would depend on the soccer team jersey you are wearing!
     
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    Curt Sibling

    Curt Sibling Napoleon Blownapart
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  7. And I thought the constant Anti-Brexit stickers/organised graffiti in Manchester city centre were bad! Seriously, before a new art shop along Oldham Street opened they had a fixture where you could draw the Mona Lisa's smile. Rather than having some genuine fun with it, those tards in the Northern Quarter just made her say 'Fuck Trump, Fuck Brexit, Fuck May' or something to that effect.

    Oh, and Brighton's full of literal faggots by the way, so yeah, Britain's San Francisco.
     
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    CWCissey

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  8. It sounds like Portland but without any of the hippie sweetness that makes Portland somewhat tolerable. (Yes, hippies are annoying but they're not mean and vicious in the way that SJWs are, never mind Tommy Tooter.)
     
    AnOminous

    AnOminous 20 year stellar government career
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  9. I've only been to Brighton twice, which is pretty impressive considering I live in London. Both times I thought it was a ghastly place and couldn't wait to leave. Only good thing about it is the Pavilion.
    Eh, that could be anywhere round here. Tower blocks everywhere you look.
     
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    NotAKitty

    NotAKitty Not @Tempest.
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  10. It's not really a hippie enclave (Glastonbury is the main hippie haunt in Britain, also Totnes though that is more crunchy granola than out and out hippies) so much as a hipster enclave. The evening before my interview I went out for dinner there in a restaurant that was mocked up to look like a 19th century Wild West saloon but the bar staff, rather than being soiled doves and balding gentlemen who stop polishing a glass and stare as soon as a new face appears, all had manbuns and/or THOSE beards. The chow (BBQ Bacon Burger with chips and salad) was passable but not £17.50 passable given that your local Spoonies does that just as well for under ten quid.

    There were waves of selfrighteousness and smugness bouncing around the place.
     
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    Ginger Piglet

    Ginger Piglet CAMAB Male-Presenting Lesbian
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  11. Well, at least they got a reaming from the Southern Rail strikes!
     
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    Boris Johnson

    Boris Johnson Cripes! It's Bozza!

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  12. God I hate that city, I've been there a few times and sadly have a cousin down there the place is a dump living off it's long faded grandeur and it's relative closeness London, if it was anywhere north of the M25 it would essentially be Blackpool 2.0 with more hipsters and slightly less crack use.
     
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    Ravenor

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  13. All I remember of Brighton is that an old man pissed on my beach towel when me and my dad left to get ice cream. :<
     
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    Lackadaisy

    Lackadaisy chew jew

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  14. Let's dox Brighton
     
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    D.Va

    D.Va uwu
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  15. I like how even this posh and gentrified urban paradise looks like a miserable smog-choked fever dream. No wonder you guys colonized the rest of the world.
     
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    Replicant Sasquatch

    Replicant Sasquatch Are you still a virgin with rage? INTERLINKED

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  16. ShittyRecolor

    ShittyRecolor Preferred pronouns: shit\shits\shitself

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  17. I'll be honest, I used to go to Brighton quite a bit in the early-mid 90s (I was getting my leg over a student there).

    I quite liked it, but at that time it was still a grimy south coast seaside town. It was full of 'omos but that meant the raves were pretty drug fuelled ie: banging.

    Then Fat Boy Slim started to do that daytime rave on the beach and that fat feminist journo Julie Burchell moved in, the London Guardianistas noticed and it all went to shit.

    It followed the same trajectory as the Glastonbury Festival is what I'm saying.
     
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    Chemical snorfare

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  18. Brighton is definitely a lolcow.

    I had the displeasure to work on an outsourcing project for a Brighton based financal services company once. Every single person they sent from Brighton was either a flaming mincer or a sperg. Either way they were coked up 24/7 as well. These people could often be found flipping their shit over the sandwiches in the canteen vending machine not having any salad or preaching about how the art scene in Brighton kills facists and is the true cause of gay liberation.

    We ended up banning their staff from our site and dealt with them entirely via senior management because it was that disruptive.
     
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  19. As much as Blackpool has problems at least its not Brighton even through Blackpool has begun to show signs of gentrification and has real problems with drugs and alcohol.
     
    Chaos Theorist

    Chaos Theorist It would be spiteful To put jellyfish in a trifle

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  20. Lol where?

    I was in Blackpool last month and it was still as charmingly grotty as always.
     
    CWCissey

    CWCissey Charming Man
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