edit: I made an oopsie: I believe @James Earl Cash is actually responsible for the bryan dunn cycle image, not neural, who corrected me on this.1. Introduction
Bryan Dunn is the pet cuck of the kiwi farms. He is an internet sperg and drama-whore of epic proportions who somehow has virtually nothing to say about anything. He is both a friend to whomever he comes across, as well as a victim of the merciless and at times slanderous hate of whomsoever he crosses. He both is above the drama that surrounds him, too busy to care about this thread and the stalkers who inhabit it, as well as acutely aware of whatever occurs herein. He has made many mistakes and has learned from them, but has somehow managed not to change in the slightest. He is an edgy, right-leaning gamergater with no patience for sjws messing with his video games, but is at the same time a cockthirsty fagslut who occasionally begs for nudes from married men. He disappears from time to time, recovering his strength after a beating or two from his harem of serial stalkers, as well as occasionally from his best "tops": @BSV and Jim "Senpai" Metokur. He tries to live up to the image of virtually every one of his internet idols only to look at best like a challenged younger brother. He manages to know exactly what topic happens to be tickling the internet's prostate on a given week, but as soon as he rocks up with his tiny member and claims to want a seat at the big kids table, he inevitably becomes the bottom of every joke in the room.
2. The Bryan Dunn Cycle
This thread has been a self-fulfilling prophecy. It need not, and indeed should not exist, were it not for Bryan's astounding reliability to complete what regulars here refer to as "the Bryan Dunn Cycle", represented in the following illustration by @James Earl Cash
The cycle describes how Bryan swings between two extremes when he is online, which are punctuated by periods of silence. He is either an internet tough guy who talks a bunch of shit once he's successfully legitimized himself by inserting himself into internet drama, or he is a nice guy who wants to be everyone's friend and is unfairly victimized and bullied by slanderous trolls. That is, he talks shit until he gets hit, and then he cries foul and tries to kiss and make up. When that fails, he disappears for a while, only to reappear flailing all over again.
3. Notable events in this thread:
the tl;dr by @neural
<neural's post goes here>
<updated info will follow>
Nice work bud. Neural's post is here
@Star Galactics already did a good summary, but I will try to go a bit more in detail because Bryan's saga is quite sprawling, with bits of it missing now for various reasons. This is also meant to give a basis for anyone to add to the OP (which now looks bare considering the drama that happened) or write a Lolcow wiki article. I am tagging in the pertinent people to enable quick corrections of the record, this is mostly stream of consciousness at this point, and will probably be corrected once I fact-check the timeline.
If you need a thread with people socking to whiteknight themselves, check out the TJ Church thread, though keep in mind that the subject of that thread is actually mentally disabled, and yet manages to occasionally dunk on people here far more than Bryan ever did. I'm pretty sure you can find more threads like this here.
- Thread is opened (in fucking 2015!), goes on for like, 2 pages and dies.
- @BoingBoingBoi bumps the thread on May 9th 2017, the thread continues for a bit because of Bryan's involvement with the Sons of Kojima, a then-prominent group of autistic DSP A-Logs (SoK thread), Bryan was by then a 5-month old member on here.
- Literally the same day, Bryan comes in and whiteknights himself, his identity then was unknown to the thread occupants, but had already revealed himself on the DSP thread.
- Hilarity and history ensues almost immediately, leading to Bryan getting nailed through 2 separate methods (due to his DOB matching his profile, and @theralph posting caps of him talking as himself in the DSP thread), which eventually lead to his official verification. In the background, Bryan's feud with @BSV, who was then Phil's biggest fan, bodyguard and financial provider, rapidly escalates due to Bryan falsely calling him a pedophile with no evidence (see a trend there?), said escalation includes Bryan buying tickets to Norway and posting weightlifting videos lmao.
- @BSV comes into the thread, seething with rage, makes an extremely long post (it had a table of contents lol), and is promptly mocked by the userbase, things escalate to the point of Bryan making a thread on him, with possibly one of the most misleading OPs I have ever seen, triggering Vidar even more, this results in over 90 pages of people calling him a pedo, and him raging as a result.
- The Sons of Kojima implode, and a thread on their "President", Fred Fuchs is made, Bryan's involvement is summarized very nicely in the OP.
- One of the more bizarre incidents happens, in which it was revealed that the woman that Bryan continually claimed to be married to is actually his ex-girlfriend now and was never married to him, which is revealed via her very public rebuke. Bryan is roundly ridiculed here, cries "plz no bully" and eventually pledges to leave, hilariously, he returns with a sock made in the very same day, which is discovered almost immediately. Said sock is @LongJohn_loves_Silver .
- Later, a BSV x KOP thunderdome/love fest thread is made by @neger psykolog, in which further hilarity ensues.
- Bryan makes a thread on Coach Red Pill, including dropping his dox, amid allegations that he did it on behalf of @Detective Squirrel.
- The DSP x MysteryWoman saga happens, and BSV goes insane, this prompts @Dynastia to start the DSP fan doxing saga (those threads are deleted now, for obvious reasons) to Bryan's absolute glee (keep this in mind too). In the background, Bryan starts annoying @Null in various ways, as seen from his comm leak post a few pages back.
- Ultimately, dear leader permabans Bryan in a very "straw that broke the camel's back" moment. After some pleading, dear leader allows Bryan to write an appeal letter, something that probably didn't happen for other banned member who were vastly better, this tells you how much slack and opportunities Bryan was given to thrive here as a member. The appeal letter is put to a public vote (among inner circle members I believe), which Bryan loses.
- After some time, Bryan sends another appeal letter, still banned.
- Not much later, Bryan socks again as @Detective_Exceptional and is discovered A-Logging Vidar. Dear leader by now is extremely sick of his antics and changes his username to his real name. a few days later, we get this side-killing thread about how changing his username to his real identity harms his family, which is deeply hypocritical considering he didn't mind it happening to random DSP fans a few months earlier, not to mention him dropping Coach Red Pill's dox in here.
- Bryan socks again as @YourFriendlyNeighbor , creates the Boon thread, and said sock is merged into his main. By now, Bryan has been getting involved in various Discord slapfights about Jonathan Ross drama.
- @theralph gets out of prison, Bryan gets into drama with him almost immediately, to which Ethan responds to by writing an absolutely vicious article on Bryan, which not only fucks up his search results, but also includes the now-infamous topless running video, which is hilarious and a must-watch. Bryan then claims that his lawyer told him not to respond to Ethan. Who then proceeds to blast him pretty hard on a stream when he decides to no-show and send @Detective Squirrel in his stead.
- Bryan makes a TTS thread about getting threadbanned from the Count Dankula conviction news thread, dear leader and staff members proceed to bait him into sperging about checks and balances that should help him not get cyberbowled on here before making the thread public.
- The Jonathan Ross drama flares up again with him claiming to be working @ an elementary school, Bryan is all over that and falsely claims to be in possession of a recording of Ross admitting to touching a child, people predictably call his bluff and ask for the actual recording, to which his response is to REE on here and on Twitter about us being dirty pedophile apologists, also, he changes his story and claims that Ross's friends had told him that Ross admitted it to them, still no proof of that either btw.
I believe something in Bryan's profile should describe his complete inability to recognize or understand the following concepts:
You forgot to use this.Gross speculation time!
She forced DSP to marry her so she has access to his material goods(i.e. his house and finances)to take during the divorce proceedings. Pandalee was a gold digger but Khet most definetly is a house wrecking one. Example: her ex. The writers for this Arc are gonna end this with phil losing half his shit, covered in gin and debt aith nothing but a shotgun and 2 shells in his hand. Feel bad him. Really do.
@Null maybe you should change his user icon to his new, chunkier appearance from the Andy meetup screencap?Man, this thread really is best if you wait for like 10 or so pages then catch up on it.
I can't believe he actually showed up to meet Andy irl, that's some creepy shit Bryan.