Bryan Dunn / King of /pol/ (KoP) / The Armed Toast / The Exceptional Detective / BoomerPhil - Severely mentally ill. Thirsty & Gay. Now known as Queen of Pole. Verified female.


please think responsibly
True & Honest Fan
@Warsmith Kroeger here's the OP i drafted a few months back. i dont think i can find the time to do much more with it in the near future, but feel free to use it if you want. (i'm not sure which staff could or would modify the OP).

@neural made some absolutely crucial tl;dr posts but i can't find them. i think they're around p.130 but again, i cant find it. (did the xf2 upgrade mess with thread page numbers or the total posts per page?)

1. Introduction

Bryan Dunn is the pet cuck of the kiwi farms. He is an internet sperg and drama-whore of epic proportions who somehow has virtually nothing to say about anything. He is both a friend to whomever he comes across, as well as a victim of the merciless and at times slanderous hate of whomsoever he crosses. He both is above the drama that surrounds him, too busy to care about this thread and the stalkers who inhabit it, as well as acutely aware of whatever occurs herein. He has made many mistakes and has learned from them, but has somehow managed not to change in the slightest. He is an edgy, right-leaning gamergater with no patience for sjws messing with his video games, but is at the same time a cockthirsty fagslut who occasionally begs for nudes from married men. He disappears from time to time, recovering his strength after a beating or two from his harem of serial stalkers, as well as occasionally from his best "tops": @BSV and Jim "Senpai" Metokur. He tries to live up to the image of virtually every one of his internet idols only to look at best like a challenged younger brother. He manages to know exactly what topic happens to be tickling the internet's prostate on a given week, but as soon as he rocks up with his tiny member and claims to want a seat at the big kids table, he inevitably becomes the bottom of every joke in the room.

2. The Bryan Dunn Cycle

This thread has been a self-fulfilling prophecy. It need not, and indeed should not exist, were it not for Bryan's astounding reliability to complete what regulars here refer to as "the Bryan Dunn Cycle", represented in the following illustration by @James Earl Cash

The cycle describes how Bryan swings between two extremes when he is online, which are punctuated by periods of silence. He is either an internet tough guy who talks a bunch of shit once he's successfully legitimized himself by inserting himself into internet drama, or he is a nice guy who wants to be everyone's friend and is unfairly victimized and bullied by slanderous trolls. That is, he talks shit until he gets hit, and then he cries foul and tries to kiss and make up. When that fails, he disappears for a while, only to reappear flailing all over again.

3. Notable events in this thread:

the tl;dr by @neural
<neural's post goes here>
<updated info will follow>
edit: I made an oopsie: I believe @James Earl Cash is actually responsible for the bryan dunn cycle image, not neural, who corrected me on this.
Last edited:

@neural made some absolutely crucial tl;dr posts but i can't find them
Nice work bud. Neural's post is here

@Star Galactics already did a good summary, but I will try to go a bit more in detail because Bryan's saga is quite sprawling, with bits of it missing now for various reasons. This is also meant to give a basis for anyone to add to the OP (which now looks bare considering the drama that happened) or write a Lolcow wiki article. I am tagging in the pertinent people to enable quick corrections of the record, this is mostly stream of consciousness at this point, and will probably be corrected once I fact-check the timeline.
If you need a thread with people socking to whiteknight themselves, check out the TJ Church thread, though keep in mind that the subject of that thread is actually mentally disabled, and yet manages to occasionally dunk on people here far more than Bryan ever did. I'm pretty sure you can find more threads like this here.

Nice work bud. Neural's post is here

I believe something in Bryan's profile should describe his complete inability to recognize or understand the following concepts:
  • Banter
  • Passing mentions
When either of the above involve him, he immediately goes from zero to MAD ON THE INTERNET as if he were a samurai and his honor was just questioned
  • Like
Reactions: Unog

Colonel J

The Sheriff
This dude forgot to edit out the beginning where they stop to make sure it's recording and pretend to jog shirtless.


MovieBahb ォ運ム
True & Honest Fan
Gross speculation time!

She forced DSP to marry her so she has access to his material goods(i.e. his house and finances)to take during the divorce proceedings. Pandalee was a gold digger but Khet most definetly is a house wrecking one. Example: her ex. The writers for this Arc are gonna end this with phil losing half his shit, covered in gin and debt aith nothing but a shotgun and 2 shells in his hand. Feel bad him. Really do.
You forgot to use this.


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