Lolcow Bryan Silva / OutterSpaceSWAG / BryanGRATATASilva / CubanSwagPapi / Dr. Bryan Silva Ph.D - Wigger, Drug abuser, Gay Pornstar, Self-Help Guru, Rapper and Bodybuilder

[Done]

(Many thanks to @CatParty for suggesting this thread.)

Bryan Michael Silva (Born January 2nd, 1991 and currently living in Charlottesville, VA) is the kind of cow that's a jack of all autism, he is a social media star, self-help guru, a gay pornstar/camwhore, a wannabe rapper, and a bodybuilder among many, many other things.

Yet he only really came into our sights because his autism was destined to pass by one of the major autism vortexes of our time, and he unknowingly passed by the biggest one of them all (http://archive.md/NSnUY):

Notice that Bryan does this while they are both waiting for a shrink, which in itself showcases the remarkable lack of self-awareness Bryan has, a trait of all true lolcows.

Bryan is a social media “star”, with a large following on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and other platforms, where he promotes his media products and makes posts about his bizarre antics and “gangster” persona. AFAIK, He is one of the elite few who managed to get described as a person who's "known for some bizarre, cringe-worthy attempts at humor on Vine.." by fucking MTV of all outlet (http://archive.md/078mm).

But what really propelled Bryan to internet fame was his presence on Vine, where his imitation of gun sounds and general wiggery went viral (search for #GRATATA and you'll see what I mean, here's an example). One particular favorite of mine is him going viral on WorldStarHipHop:


He also appeared on Tosh.0 as well:

He had an interview with COMPLEX magazine in 2014 (archive), the entire interview is fucking hilarious, but I especially love the first set of questions (Orange emphasis mine):

Let's start with where you're from and where you live now.
I’m from Charlottesville, Virginia. I’m still in Virginia now. I was born in Florida and when I was two I moved to Virginia and lived there until about 12. Then I moved back to Florida to live with my dad. I believe I was 14 when I ended up moving back to Virginia. A couple months later I got locked up for three years.

What happened?
It was mainly for breaking and entering, but also for hitting the school principal.

You hit the school principal?
Yeah.

Why?
He just pissed me off and they tried to say that I threw a chair at him and stuff. It was crazy

That spell in the slammer wasn't Bryan's last, on January 3rd, 2016, he pointed a loaded 9mm at his underage girlfriend, she escaped to a neighbor's house and called the cops, who came to find that that Bryan has barricaded himself in, and was refusing to come out, a 4-hours stand-off ensued, which only ended after SWAT teams came in and used tear gas canisters. (Archive)

During said stand-off, he thought it was a good idea to post a video of him cursing and ranting at the cops in the most wiggerish manner possible:

https://my.mixtape.moe/dpqtwx.mp4

Eventually the cops got his ass, and he was arrested with his pants down:

After accepting a plea deal from the prosecution, where he pleaded guilty to the firearm charges in exchange for dropping the felony abduction charges (archive), he was was later arrested on a capias advising that he failed to comply with the Offender Aid and Restoration program (archive).

However, the hilarity doesn't end there, the day of the sentencing was an eventful one, I honestly can't do much better than directly quoting it and highlighting things:

Social media celebrity Bryan Silva, who prompted the first SWAT standoff of the year, was sentenced to one year and nine months of jail time October 18 in Charlottesville Circuit Court for possessing and brandishing an illegal firearm and disobeying the court.

Silva’s attorney, John March, asked for a lesser sentence, arguing that the four months Silva already served were a “wake-up call” and that he is not the gun-toting, rapping “gangsta” he once portrayed himself as online.

Silva became famous with a video he created on Vine—a site where users post seconds-long videos to the web—in which he says “gratata,” imitating the sound of a gun. Although he has since gained a following of millions of people, March says they aren’t celebrating him—they’re mocking him.

“He is the butt of the joke,” March said at the sentencing. And when the defendant’s brother, Phillip Silva, testified, he described the “slew of Internet hate” his younger brother received, which led to bouts of depression.

The night before Silva allegedly pointed a loaded gun at his then-girlfriend, who was 17, March said his client was under an unexpected amount of stress, because the girlfriend told him she thought she was pregnant.

Judge Richard Moore said excuses can’t be made for the “disturbing case,” in which the girl feared for her life and fled to a neighbor’s house where she called police and the standoff was initiated.

“Needless to say, this is one of the most unusual cases I’ve ever seen,” the judge said, adding that the focus should not be on Silva’s internet persona, but on the fact that he pointed a loaded gun at another person. “This is real life. This is not pretend on the Internet.”

But in his testimony, Phillip Silva suggested that perhaps some elements were pretend, and he’s “certain” that some of the photos of the defendant with weapons, which were pulled from his Facebook page, showed him with fake guns.

In a February 11 preliminary hearing, Assistant Commonwealth’s Attorney Joe Platania said police found a 9mm handgun in Silva’s house after the standoff that matched a gun Silva can be seen holding in his Facebook photos. Both the gun police found and the one in the photo had a LaserMax mounted on it, which matched the description of what Silva’s girlfriend said he pointed at her that morning.

Judge Moore agreed to impose the maximum sentence of five years for possessing a gun as a convicted felon, 12 months for brandishing it and 86 days for not obeying all probation regulations. He suspended all but one year and nine months, and Silva has already served four months.

He was ordered to report to jail immediately, despite pleas from family and friends for a delayed sentencing. “I love you, Bryan,” three voices called out.

Outside the courtroom, Silva’s brother and mother watched for him to be led into the back of a police car. Handcuffed, he spewed profanities, though he told the judge he had changed, and was “deeply sorry” just minutes earlier.

When halfway to the police vehicle, Silva abruptly turned to the media and shouted, “Free me.”

http://www.c-ville.com/free-silva-sentenced-standoff/ (Archive)

So what does Bryan do nowadays?
Bryan is currently spending his days constantly promoting his OnlyFans account, posting videos on his YouTube accounts, making terrible rap records that will go nowhere.. Basically chasing the initial 15 minutes of fame he got.

Web Footprint:
(Many, many thanks to @emspex for the great assistance):

Spoiler: Emails

ImBryanSilva@Gmail.com
SoMuchDAMNMuscle@gmail.com
LsVtecTurbo95@gmail.com
MuscleStudCamShows@gmail.com

Spoiler: Accounts

Audible Narrator Page:
https://www.audible.co.uk/search?se...91-b3cad83c5183&pf_rd_r=7G4DA740DN80CDHTYN3G& (http://archive.md/TQHia)
Facebook (personal): https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100010799835915 (http://archive.md/0NDOU)
Facebook (public page): https://www.facebook.com/BryanGRATATASilva/ (http://archive.md/7mkXq)
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/imBryanSilva/ (privated) (archive)
iTunes Artist Page: https://itunes.apple.com/us/artist/bryan-silva/879887909 (http://archive.md/onbLo)
OnlyFans:
https://onlyfans.com/BRYANSILVA (http://archive.md/TmGjw) (NSFW)
Skype: washboard6pack
TheBestFlex: http://www.thebestflex.com/videos/SoMUCHMuscle (http://archive.md/posAF)
Twitter: https://twitter.com/OutterSpaceSWAG (http://archive.md/LD9DI)
Twitter: https://twitter.com/TREXTheGREAT623 (http://archive.md/S8T6B)
Vine: https://vine.co/Bryan.Silva (http://archive.md/DgPrB)
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/OfficialBryanSilva (http://archive.md/6TmCl)
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/RealBryanSilva (http://archive.md/ORomc)
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/TRexTheGreat623 (http://archive.md/JD5iJ)
Snapchat:

Old dox dump (Most of it is outdated, but could prove useful):
https://skidbin.net/raw?t=lnV5nv (http://archive.md/0n0fg)

 

[Darndirty]

Guess in the end he was with that fu fu lame shit. Too bad nobody has sent shots at his fitted.

 

[Sperglord Dante]

He looks like the kind of guy to set Google alerts to his name. Imagine his reaction when he discovers what happens when you take a photo of the tard with the pony plushie.

 

[Catetive]

I'm honestly shocked it took this long for him to have a thread. Bryan Silva is a fucking hilarious trainwreck and has been doing dumbass shit for a while now.

Spoiler: NSFW, obligatory nudes

Obviously he's into some fufu lame shit.

 

[The Nameless One]

Twitter de-verifies people because they don't want users to think that Twitter is promoting those people, but a white guy who casually says "nigga" and was arrested for pointing a gun at his pregnant, underage girlfriend has the Twitter Blue Checkmark of Approval.

He and Chris need to team up and do videos, like a rap-off or something. He could get some publicity out of the deal, and Chris might get Bryan to suck his duck.

 

[Robotic Richard Simmons]

He looks like he's probably 5.5ft tall. I guess that explains why his cock looks huge. Shit, being 4 inches makes you look hung when you're a mortal inhabitant of Middle Earth.

 

[Done]

Twitter de-verifies people because they don't want users to think that Twitter is promoting those people, but a white guy who casually says "nigga" and was arrested for pointing a gun at his pregnant, underage girlfriend has the Twitter Blue Checkmark of Approval.

Speaking of his usage of the word 'nigga', the complex interview tells us why he thinks it's fine:

The issue with your Vines is that you're white and you're using the n-word.
Yeah, I’ve earned my right to say that.

How?
From being on the block since I was eight years old. I’ve always had my fun in the streets. While these niggas were hating on the porch, I was having my fun in the streets.

You don't think it's inappropriate?
I think it’s how I say it and all the real niggas rock with me.

Has anyone approached you or confronted you about your use of the word?
No. Never. Ever since I got the respect to say it no one say anything to to me. I’ve been saying that word since I was 11.

 

[Picklechu]

This is hysterical. Keep chasing that 15 minutes, buddy.

 

[PsychoNerd054]

Man, Shaggy really let himself go.

 

[AnOminous]

Much like Chris, he's probably been sent to that "Region Ten Community Services Board" by a court for "mental health, intellectual disability and substance use services where they are needed," i.e. by speds who committed some crime or another.

Also dude looks like Christian Bale in The Machinist.

 

[Lipitor]

Much like Chris, he's probably been sent to that "Region Ten Community Services Board" by a court for "mental health, intellectual disability and substance use services where they are needed," i.e. by speds who committed some crime or another.

Also dude looks like Christian Bale in The Machinist.

Yea he has that body with zero fat, where u can see minor muscle definition... but the muscles are tiny af and not impressive, since you can see most of his bone structure.. he needs to do gainz or some shit.

 

[Marvin]

He's practicing for methface even before doing meth. (I think.)

 

[Cake Farts]

At this point I’m convinced that the water supply, air, food (or all three) of Virginia are contaminated by something that causes autism.

Also his jaw looks like it got a left uppercut to it and stuck like putty.

 

[The Fifth Waltz]

What if he knew who Chris was and knowingly took his photo to stay relevant?

 

[Done]

He's practicing for methface even before doing meth. (I think.)

He talks in his Complex interview about abusing codeine, and he was high off Xanax when he had his stand-off with the police, so I think it's possible.

 

[Darndirty]

He looks like he's probably 5.5ft tall. I guess that explains why his cock looks huge. Shit, being 4 inches makes you look hung when you're a mortal inhabitant of Middle Earth.

Someone seems jelly.

 

[Robotic Richard Simmons]

Someone seems jelly.

Nah, just pointing out that insecure men of small stature will go through extreme lengths (no pun intended) to lie about their cock size online. This guy has insecure written all over him from the bad tattoos down to the attention grabbing behavior.

 

[Darndirty]

Nah, just pointing out that insecure men of small stature will go through extreme lengths (no pun intended) to lie about their cock size online. This guy has insecure written all over him from the bad tattoos down to the attention grabbing behavior.

But, he does have a big dick. Seems to me insecure men will go to lengths to justify their own stature or lack thereof.
I mean he was in gay porn for a reason and it Damn sure wasn't his face.

 

[Orkeosaurus]

That chin would require a slider mod to replicate in most games.

 

[AnOminous]

Nah, just pointing out that insecure men of small stature will go through extreme lengths (no pun intended) to lie about their cock size online. This guy has insecure written all over him from the bad tattoos down to the attention grabbing behavior.

Dude, there are pictures.