BUYING A HOUSE? -7/23/19 - In which amber doesn’t realize she is the house

Loves to Huff

Fantabulously Greasy
kiwifarms.net
Maybe its because I come from a place where sushi is in fact actual sushi...
But literally not one single thing on that table between the two of those sloppy, bloated hogs even LOOKED liked real sushi. Am I a crazy person? Or does Redneckville, Deep Buttfucking Kentucky in the South just have no goddamn idea what sushi actually is?
Hella deep fried rolls slathered to death in multiple fatty sauces and mayo for PiggyLynn, and a

Are there any Southerner Kiwis around who can help explain what kind of fuckery this is? Because jesus.
They would have to drive to Lexington, maybe Louisville, to get anything closer to the real deal.
 
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Your_Fairy_Wish_Prince

I am your Fairy Wish Prince, at your service
kiwifarms.net
I'm sorry, I love this image too much
View attachment 855312
But it reminded me of something...
View attachment 855313
Ursula is a level of unabashed villain wickedness we all aspire too accomplish Hamber WISHES she was on the same tier as Ursula's eating habits


Edit: I have been drinking since five and didnt realize I double quoted, I apologize :geek:
 

StrangestHillHigh

kiwifarms.net
Okay, but where the fuck do you get Becky from Amberlynn, that's my question. I'd just call her Amber, but no, she has to choose the most basic white girl name to go with her king-sized twinkie ass. Better order a pumpkin spice latte and pink drink on the side.

Edit: Okay, so sorry for being a stupid ass, but apparently Becky is her lesbian GF, my apologies. It's just I didn't invest to much time into shit and jumped into "Oh shit white girl alert" mode. Like, what else is there to say. I read a bit more, and Amber's life is just pathetically sad, such as the fact she had to stoop down to such measures as creating a fake Facebook account to generally spy on and harass anybody who held a different opinion on her.
 
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ZooSmell

kiwifarms.net
Oh God, that "wart". I'm not an expert but I'm pretty sure that thing's something else. It looks like a really packed black head (or a cyst) I think I can even see the dirty expanded pore when zooming that photo and I could swear it's growing. Makes more sense because she never washes her face and exfoliating is out of the question. Either way it's not kyuuuut.
I wanna pop it so goddamn bad.
 

Stanley_Buttkiss

Fashionably late to parties I wasn't invited to.
kiwifarms.net
View attachment 855350
jfc those beetus knucks are becoming beetus hands.
"Oh and check these out!"View attachment 855351
snatches them up quicker than I could screenshot, fastest she's ever moved
View attachment 855353
"They just got here, they're hot."
Aka Necky, these are mine now, BACK OFF IM STARVIN
She actually honestly has food aggression. I've seen it in other videos of where she 'tries' snacks with Becky. Its bizarre because I only thought that behavior was found in animals - not humans.
 

Haesindang Park

kiwifarms.net
Maybe its because I come from a place where sushi is in fact actual sushi...
But literally not one single thing on that table between the two of those sloppy, bloated hogs even LOOKED liked real sushi. Am I a crazy person? Or does Redneckville, Deep Buttfucking Kentucky in the South just have no goddamn idea what sushi actually is?
Hella deep fried rolls slathered to death in multiple fatty sauces and mayo for PiggyLynn, and a gigantic family sized platter of what looked like Mexican or Chinese fried rice and BBQ meat for the Thumb Gremlin?

Are there any Southerner Kiwis around who can help explain what kind of fuckery this is? Because jesus.
Well its Kentucky; you're not going to find a community that has a large Asian population. You want more of the Asian experience, go to big cities like Houston in Texas. Houston has the largest Asian population in all of Texas so you're more likely to find actual sushi. Hell, in Houston alone, there's a few restaurants that serve sushi on conveyor belts.

She actually honestly has food aggression. I've seen it in other videos of where she 'tries' snacks with Becky. Its bizarre because I only thought that behavior was found in animals - not humans.
Amberlynn is raised like an animal therefore she acts like one too hence the food aggression.
 

SAVE TWINKIE!

kiwifarms.net
It's funny to think of it as food aggression because that's what animals have and she's an animal etc., but it's really just outrageous control issues. Recently I watched some videos from the Krystle era and Krystle had to eat the exact same thing Amberlynn ate, and the exact same calories (even though Krystle was half AL's weight)

Night after night Krystle HAD to eat what Amberlynn cooked (it was slop then just as it is slop now, just less "soupy"), Krystle HAD to have the same breakfast Amberlynn had. Amberlynn picked all the groceries. If Krystle's parents were offering to order pizza or bring something home and Amberlynn wanted to be "good" Krystle also had to go without. If Amberlynn was going through an "allowing myself sweet things is triggering me, I must restrict" phase, Krystle ALSO had to go without. It's like she wasn't allowed to indulge one fucking calorie unless Amberlynn ALSO felt like blowing her diet. Fucking bizarre.

I think it was even worse back then, because she had no money. She still has knee-jerk pangs of deprivation though like when she snatches snacks out of Becky's hands or gets triggered when Eric & Rickie bring home fast food for themselves. But since she has her own money and butler she doesn't care what Becky eats.
 

Turd Blossom

Take your protein pills & put your helmet on
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Seems weird that no one pointed out how sad the conversation they were having while eating was. Zero chemistry. Zero interest in each other.

They reminded me of those tired parents who got married when young and filled with hope and are now left with nothing but a marriage they desperately want to end but don't dare to because their only child has a crippling disability.

It was just so depressing to hear them.
That conversation during their "date", while basically filler so Al could maximize her shekels, was actually a pretty good peek into their sad dynamic. I think it hasn't been mentioned much because at first glance it's just Becky droning on about shit as Amber barely listens because she's more interested in her fried mayo-sushi. And let's face it, most of us are skimming her low-effort videos these days and relying more and more on recaps because Jesus our gorl is insufferable.

But if you really listen to that conversation it's pretty bleak. I didn't catch all of what Becks was saying because of her mush-mouthed droning, but the gist was that she was expressing her anxiety over an upcoming trip (with family, Amber isn't going apparently) where she is going to be doing a lot of driving. She talked about her anxiousness and fear about her legs bothering her (sounded like maybe a restless-leg-situation-type-deal).

You'd think EmpathLynn (who CRIES when hearing about others' struggles, y'all! She has so much empathy it's a BURDEN!) who "suffers" from "car anxiety" (except when CF is at the end of a road trip or she needs snacks ofc) would show a modicum of understanding for Becky's plight and offer a bit of support especially after just having gone on at length about HER own mental health.

But all she offered, between shoving giant pieces of sushi in her Orange-Chicken-Hole was mild interest (because this trip wasn't about her after all!) and something dismissive like "Oh that's not bad" after hearing the trip would be 2-3 hours.

I'm not sure Amber could be a bigger asshole if she tried. And I have no doubt that this kind of interaction is par for the course. I'm actually pretty curious what Amber's reaction to Eric's new "diagnosis" of bipolar disorder will be. We'll likely never see it, but I imagine she'll be suuuuper supportive and definitely wouldn't dare steer the conversation back to her own, super-special "mental situation".

Edit: @Keyboard Warrior was a brave soul and transcribed the whole convo below. I was off about the layygs thing, Becky was just nervous about being restless on the drive but Jesus it's almost worse seeing it written out. Amber is such a twat.
 
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Diet Coke 4 Life

When I peek, it is in the line of duty.
kiwifarms.net
Maybe its because I come from a place where sushi is in fact actual sushi...
But literally not one single thing on that table between the two of those sloppy, bloated hogs even LOOKED liked real sushi. Am I a crazy person? Or does Redneckville, Deep Buttfucking Kentucky in the South just have no goddamn idea what sushi actually is?
Hella deep fried rolls slathered to death in multiple fatty sauces and mayo for PiggyLynn, and a gigantic family sized platter of what looked like Mexican or Chinese fried rice and BBQ meat for the Thumb Gremlin?

Are there any Southerner Kiwis around who can help explain what kind of fuckery this is? Because jesus.
Not in Kentucky, but in the south. Not a true authority, but did some research.

Yamatos has the standard basic sushi you can find at any continental US Japanese restaurant. The 12 varieties of actual sushi (also available as sashimi) are salmon, yellowtail, octopus, shrimp, imitation crab, tuna, white tuna, clam, egg, squid, tilapia and eel. It's made from flash-frozen fish rather than fresh, so the taste isn't as smooth. It's not great, but it's not terrible.

So yes, in Redneckville, Deep Buttfucking Kentucky there's actual sushi (not very good, very generic, but it's available). But most people automatically think 'sauce-slathered rice-encrusted rolls' when they think sushi, likely due to their upbringing (and because people are weirded out by raw fish for some odd reason, so they get attached to the rolls and mistakenly associate them with 'sushi').

Back OT, Amber is fat and I wouldn't have sex with her.

Edited because words are hard.
 

Keyboard Warrior

kiwifarms.net
That conversation during their "date", while basically filler so Al could maximize her shekels, was actually a pretty good peek into their sad dynamic.
I thought so too. It's bleak, even in writing:

Becky: Um...I am excited about Frahday...
Amber: What's Friday? Oh, I forgot...
Becky: for a second? *tsk*
Amber: Mmm, hmm.
Becky: Um, I know I'm gonna be driving....annddd...
Amber: Are you nervous to drive?
Becky: Um, I never drove up there, but I know my way around up there."
Amber: Rahhht.
Becky: So...
Amber: Wull, I think you're gonna have a good time.
Becky: I'm kinda....the only thing I'm worried about is I feel like I'm gonna get restless and annoyed driving up there.
Amber: How far away is it?
Becky: Bout 2.5, 3 hours...
Amber:*shrugs* That's not bad... (this bitch. lol)
Becky:
But um. I told them the reason I wanted to drive was cause like...if I wanna stop...
Amber: ...you have the freedom...
Becky: I have the freedom to stop, if I wanna go, I'm free to go...and...
Amber: Rahht.
Becky: ...I'm at my cousin's house and I'm thirsty and she has nothing to drink, I can go get somethin' to drink.
Amber: Rahht, rahht, rahht...

Absolutely RIVETING. Amber can muster just enough energy to feign interest while cumming over sushi. She's mastered the art of Pretend Listening and Becky's too dense to notice. It's sad to see two completely incompatible people with zero chemistry just settle for each other because they'd rather be comfortable in the dysfunction of something familiar than risk being alone. They need each other, but in all the wrong ways.

Even though they live together and spend every second of the day around each other, I doubt they talk about anything substantial outside of what they're gonna eat next, watch next, or what new ache or pain they feel in their bodies.

Misery truly loves company. *sigh*
 

Whatthefuck

kiwifarms.net
Gorl chooses sushi because it's "healthy" and she thinks shes pulling one over on us. She said in the video, the only bad thing about sushi is the rice, but fails to mention that her sushi is fried and drenched in mayo based sauces.
I'm going to go ahead and guarantee that what Becks ordered was hulthier. It didn't seem to be drenched in sauce aside from the hibachi stuff on the shrimp and veg. There was fried rice, but all in all I imagine her meal was much better than whatever that sauce/fried/sodium bomb monstrosity it was that Hamber ate.

Maybe its because I come from a place where sushi is in fact actual sushi...
But literally not one single thing on that table between the two of those sloppy, bloated hogs even LOOKED liked real sushi. Am I a crazy person? Or does Redneckville, Deep Buttfucking Kentucky in the South just have no goddamn idea what sushi actually is?
Hella deep fried rolls slathered to death in multiple fatty sauces and mayo for PiggyLynn, and a gigantic family sized platter of what looked like Mexican or Chinese fried rice and BBQ meat for the Thumb Gremlin?

Are there any Southerner Kiwis around who can help explain what kind of fuckery this is? Because jesus.
Southern Kiwi here. We have what are interesting little hibachi places. They aren't authentic in the slightest and because the majority of us grew up on mayo and bullshit we tend to slather anything we get in sauce. It's a really weird tic some of us have. There are those of us who are vehemently against condiments and there are those of us who won't eat anything unless it's drenched in Ranch dressing. Guess which kind these ladies are.

There are some really nice authentic places, but they are few, far between, and expensive, not that price is an object to our gorl. The main problem is that most folks in the south have never left the south, not even to travel so they don't know the difference. I've been fortunate enough to live and travel outside of the south so I can tell what's quality and what's not. In her area I imagine this is their sushi go to unless they want supermarket sushi. I'm quite sure the most ethnic food diversity they get is this "japanese", mexican, and the chinese buffet.
 
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Wake me up

CωC Club founder
kiwifarms.net
passive suicide
Suicide implies she knows what she's doing. What's worst is she thinks she's pulling a fast one on all of us and getting to eat as much as she wants while pretending to be doing her "best" to lose weight - when in truth she's the only one being played.
I only thought that behavior was found in animals
Landwhale confirmed.
What does it mean when your fingertips are purplish?
Diabetes.
 

foodiebloobie

Coochie waxer
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She mentioned in one of her recent videos that there was something she was doing but couldn't tell us "just yet". I assumed she was talking about buying a house. I guess she finally outgrew the fag shanty. If she's looking in KY, chances are the homes are going to be older and not suitable for her needs (read: expensive handi-accessible reno) If she wants a shower stall that she can fit in at the bare minimum, it will be at minimum 10k.
I say she will forego the necessary renovations in lieu of the ol' porch n' hose spray down.

If only there were SOME solution to AL's physical limitations...
 
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Okami Green

Negative Person™
kiwifarms.net
She mentioned in one of her recent videos that there was something she was doing but couldn't tell us "just yet". I assumed she was talking about buying a house. I guess she finally outgrew the fag shanty. If she's looking in KY, chances are the homes are going to be older and not suitable for her needs (read: expensive handi-accessible reno) If she wants a shower stall that she can fit in at the bare minimum, it will be at minimum 10k.
I say she will forego the necessary renovations in lieu of the ol' porch n' hose spray down.

If only there were SOME solution to AL's physical limitations...
Sure there is! She could have Becky learn to drive a flatbed.
 
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