So sometime in the 80s, some Jap over in Nihongostan decided it would be a good idea to harness the flavour of cheese and put it into several one-and-a-half inch bars that are pretty much biscotti. In theory, it was a good idea, because the bars were all 100 (k)cal which would mean counting calories would be easy. Thus, CalorieMate was invented.
Nowadays, CalorieMate comes in three different styles: block, jelly, and can. Block is your typical cookie. Jelly is like one of those weird apple sauce packets that's just a squeezable tube of flavoured jelly you put in your mouth. Can is basically a Slimfast shake. The flavours for block style are plain, cheese, maple, fruit, and chocolate; jelly comes in apple, fruity milk (idk what the fuck this means), and lime and grapefruit (like the two worst fruits you can put together); can comes in cocoa, coffee, café au lait, and everyone's favourite, corn soup.
Most Americans and/or Europes and sea-Europes will recognise CalorieMate from the critically acclaimed vidya gaem Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater, wherein the protagonist may collect and eat block-style CalorieMate and proclaim "whoa tasty" or something to that effect. I myself have procured four boxes of CalorieMate, one in each flavour ("plain" is not a flavour come on).
I figured since cheese flavour was probably the one Big Boss ate, I started out with that one.
Anyway, inside the foil are two biscotti-looking things that smelled strongly of cheese. They tasted strongly of cheese. Like, have you ever made a box of Kraft mac'n'cheese and taken a whiff/taste of the cheese powder that comes with it? That's exactly what the taste of the cookies was like, it was disgusting and Big Boss was a fucking liar.
Would not recommend importing these things (at least the cheese flavour), it took me like two months to get them and when they didn't show up inside the window of time Amazon gave me, I requested a refund that came in the day before these little shits finally arrived in the mail.
Anyway I'll probably eat another flavour at some point and if I do I'll sperg about it more.
Nowadays, CalorieMate comes in three different styles: block, jelly, and can. Block is your typical cookie. Jelly is like one of those weird apple sauce packets that's just a squeezable tube of flavoured jelly you put in your mouth. Can is basically a Slimfast shake. The flavours for block style are plain, cheese, maple, fruit, and chocolate; jelly comes in apple, fruity milk (idk what the fuck this means), and lime and grapefruit (like the two worst fruits you can put together); can comes in cocoa, coffee, café au lait, and everyone's favourite, corn soup.
Most Americans and/or Europes and sea-Europes will recognise CalorieMate from the critically acclaimed vidya gaem Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater, wherein the protagonist may collect and eat block-style CalorieMate and proclaim "whoa tasty" or something to that effect. I myself have procured four boxes of CalorieMate, one in each flavour ("plain" is not a flavour come on).
I figured since cheese flavour was probably the one Big Boss ate, I started out with that one.
Anyway, inside the foil are two biscotti-looking things that smelled strongly of cheese. They tasted strongly of cheese. Like, have you ever made a box of Kraft mac'n'cheese and taken a whiff/taste of the cheese powder that comes with it? That's exactly what the taste of the cookies was like, it was disgusting and Big Boss was a fucking liar.
Would not recommend importing these things (at least the cheese flavour), it took me like two months to get them and when they didn't show up inside the window of time Amazon gave me, I requested a refund that came in the day before these little shits finally arrived in the mail.
Anyway I'll probably eat another flavour at some point and if I do I'll sperg about it more.
