True & Honest Fan
- Jan 2, 2016
I booted up the Mario game, and I was greeted with a horrific sight... a crudely drawn Mario was standing at the edge of a platform, and proudly declared "Time to take a piss!". I was then greeted to hyper realistic piss with hyper realistic piss sounds. In a combination of horror and visible confusion, a goomba walked up. He hesitantly asked "What the hell are you doing?". Mario, not even batting an eye, continuing to say in the position he was in responds angrily with "I'm taking a piss!". The goomba is now concerned. With a bit more confidence he asks "Okay, but why aren't you jumping at me? That's what you're supposed to do.". Mario, with a hyper realistic angry expression then screams "I might do it fucking later!". At this point, the goomba realized he had made a terrible mistake. The goomba, intimidated, but ready to object then raises his voice at Mario, saying "No! I'm a motherfucking enemy, you're SUPPOSED to jump at me!!" Mario then says in a giddy, relaxed tone "Okey dokey, then. Let me pull up my pants again first and then MAYBE I'll jump on you.". This sends the goomba into a spiral of anger. "Maybe? MAYBE?!?! Are you out of your FUCKING mind?!?! NO!!! JUMP ON ME NOW, MOTHERFUCKER!!!" The goomba yells. Mario, trying to remain calm and collected, then says "Let me get my pants first." in an audibly annoyed tone. The goomba lets out a sigh and then says "Fine.". The game then turned off on its own and it oozed out hyper realistic blood from the console. I got a baseball bat and destroyed the game. I then sold the console on ebay hoping that nobody would care that it's cursed.