• "What's wrong with being subhuman?"

Celebrity Cassandra Clare / Judith Rumelt43 year old Harry Potter incest fanfic writer, professional cyberbully

Discussion in 'Beauty Parlour' started by Pinkamena Diane Pie, Dec 10, 2015.

Forum Guidelines

The Beauty Parlour is for women or not-women in the sphere of cosplay and the beauty industry that is not strictly limited to lolcows.

  • Hide your powerlevel. Avoid revealing intimate, embarrassing details about yourself. Declaring a post powerleveling does not magically exempt you from this rule.
  • No thirst. No one cares if you want to have sex with someone. Reporting thirst posts to mods is encouraged.
  • Be civil. Don't get angry over Lolcows. If you need to tell people you're better than someone, you're probably not.
  • No trolling plans. We are not an autistic Illuminati. Failtrolls will be ridiculed mercilessly.

@CasualSeppuku, @Broken Pussy, @Melchett

  1. Well to out-douche GW you really need to be a giant douche. So I think these ladies deserve each other!
    Male Idiot

    Male Idiot Redneck Cephalopod.

  2. I remember these books being oddly popular in high-school. But I don't remember anyone comparing it to Harry Potter.

    Either way, the books look shitty and I feel kinda relieved that the author is lovingly called a Casserole Clam.

    Which, incidentally, is what I imagine her pushy to be like. Slushy and wet and smelly, covered in a creamy chunky substance.
    • Agree Agree x 2
    Ulfric Stormcloak

    True & Honest Fan

  3. This is making me incredibly nostalgic right now, I liked her works during my edgelord-teen phase when I still had a soft spot for Harry Potter.

    Mortal Instruments is pretty boring when I look back. Never knew Clare was this big of a Dramacow though
    • Feels Feels x 4
  4. Where have I seen this face before...

    • Winner Winner x 9
    • Agree Agree x 1

    Coldgrip Skeleton knife fighter

  5. I think I borrowed a Mortal Instruments book from someone at summer camp once. Supernatural-teen fiction is right up there with dystopian fiction when it comes to genres that have been done to death, so I remember thinking "good god this is bland and generic as it gets." All I can remember is that there was a pretty girl who was a bitch and Clary thought she was extra cunty because she wore vanilla perfume. Oh, and there was a gay vampire.
    Fanfiction writers should not be able to recycle their fanfiction into "proper" books. It just ends up being low-quality trash. If you can replace the name of a pre-existing character of another franchise to make a "new" character for your own series, then you haven't bothered to write an original character at all and just have an archetype. LAZY!
    • Agree Agree x 9
    • Like Like x 1

    PolexiaAphrodisia Life just kills me. Do you have any pot?

  6. I remember seeing her books displayed at the ya section whenever i went to the bookstore. By the time i saw them i have already moved on to the 'ya sucks' phase. I wasnt aware there was a tv show.

    From the 'top 10 reasons why the show is better than the book' it seems like the producers took the setting and changed most of the character relationships. The article claims most relationships were catty and problematic and the show turned the into positive ones.

    Also the difference between shooped and candid photos of clare are amazing
    • Agree Agree x 4

    smallmilk good for you

  7. Class is in extremely short supply these days.
    • Agree Agree x 6

    Surtur Destroyer of the Universe.
    Retired Staff

  8. This is the same character, movie/book vs. show.
    (lmao they cast the fucking Old Spice Guy)
    She hates it. Not only is it ruining her "vision," but adding diversity makes her look more racist in comparison.

    • Agree Agree x 4
    • Informative Informative x 3

    oasys economic inflation fetish

  9. "Look at the book. Now look at me. Back to the book. Now back at me. Now give that book to a hobo so he can burn it for warmth. I'm in a shitty series."
    • Winner Winner x 21
    • Semper Fidelis Semper Fidelis x 2

    PolexiaAphrodisia Life just kills me. Do you have any pot?

  10. You'd think she should be feeling fortunate that her books even have a TV series- most authors don't even get that much.
    • Agree Agree x 13
  11. The dangerhair is evident in this literal cow. Wonder if she has a tumblr that she uses a lot, since she DEFINITELY looks like the type that's a full-blown tumblrina.
    • Winner Winner x 4

    DirkBloodStormKing The Leech King
    True & Honest Fan

  12. she does! and she fangirls hard over her "characters" and the shipping art that she sees of them.
    • Informative Informative x 1
    woowie queen

    woowie queen it's all about ethics and lollipops.

  13. She does!

    • Winner Winner x 1
    • Informative Informative x 1
  14. Should add obese, incompetent writer to the title.
    • Like Like x 2
    • Winner Winner x 1
    Daughter of Pomona

    Daughter of Pomona Not a Christcuck.

  15. tess holliday crossover fanfic

    • Winner Winner x 16
    • Semper Fidelis Semper Fidelis x 1
    • Informative Informative x 1

    True & Honest Fan

  16. My god, it's like the stereotypical fanfiction writer come to life.
    • Agree Agree x 7
    • Like Like x 1
    • Feels Feels x 1
  17. There was a thread made for her already, but it sucked donkey balls, so it can be locked and this can be the new thread. She deserves it so much.

    Also, holy shit she's 43?! I always assumed she was a teenager when she "wrote" the Draco Trilogy.
    • Agree Agree x 3

    trombonista Commander in queef
    Staff Member Moderator True & Honest Fan

  18. This is an interesting read a blog post written by someone who read Clare's original fan fiction "The Draco Trilogy" and liked it, but than was really disillusioned with her professional work . Link to the whole thing.

    Once The Mortal Instruments series was over (or, at least, I thought it was), I felt that perhaps Clare might be able to leave her old writing behind and embark on something brand new. I was willing to believe that she was hung up and in love with these characters she had created when she started writing The Draco Trilogy long ago. I get it — the Draco Trilogy was a beloved staple of fanfiction, and it took YEARS for the whole thing to be written. It was a long effort, and she made absolutely no money off it. I can understand the impulse to want to be rewarded for pleasing so many people for so long.

    But Clare didn’t stop. She didn’t try something new. Instead, she left The Mortal Instruments and started writing a steampunk trilogy set in Victorian England. About — you guessed it — the world she created in The Mortal Instruments. Shadowhunters are still the main characters. It’s still the same formula: girl who is not a Shadowhunter meets Shadowhunter who is sexy and snarky (like Draco/Jace, only with dark hair and Victorian sensibilities), and becomes entangled in that world and, of course, a love triangle. And then in addition to all of this, Clare — horror of all horrors — decided to extend her original trilogy to six books instead of three.

    What's also interesting is Clare is considered the trope namer on tv tropes for the "Draco in Rubber pants" as she was one of the earlier writers that kinda bastardized his character and started the trend. I bring it up because when you think about it her version of Draco is an original character. He has very little to do with Draco Malfoy the character from the Harry Potter series ditto for Ginny and everyone really.

    So I'm getting the impression Clare had one set of ideas, and than beat it into the ground with her fan fiction and now is doing the same thing over and over with her professional career and becomes alienating even to people who like her work.
    • Informative Informative x 5
    #58 purrings, Jan 2, 2017
    Last edited: Jan 2, 2017
  19. Are her books no longer selling particularly well? The first book of The Mortal Instruments is listed at 3,400 or so on all of Amazon for paid e-books, which strikes me as pretty robust for a title that is now almost eight years old. But I must admit I have no idea what that figure means in unit sales. Doubtless better than being at 10,000 or 100,000, but in absolute terms? No idea. Would be interesting to find out.

    I suppose you could argue that her target audience of teenage girls is both endlessly renewing and not particularly discerning, meaning her purple prose and predicatable plots are both a novelty when first encountered and more rather than less likely to be read uncritically.

    FWIW, her The Bane Chronicles, the life and times of a bisexual half-demon named Magnus Bane, seem to be selling nowhere near as well as her main series (serieses?). I guess books about bisexual half-demons don't sell as well as ingenue teen girls who don't know who daddy is and get involved in love triangles and get to wear pretty dresses while fighting bad guys after discovering their special snowflake magic powers. All the while braying feminist cliches. But still getting to hook up with the hawt boy in the end.
    • Feels Feels x 2
    Elwood P. Dowd

    Elwood P. Dowd Here, let me give you one of my cards.

  20. Girls can't imagine themselves as bisexual half demon men so they can't mentally masturbate to it. She would have been better off writing "bella swan girl meets bisexual half demon man and they have a flirtation before finally fucking 5 books later".
    • Like Like x 2

    PolexiaAphrodisia Life just kills me. Do you have any pot?

  • About Us

    The Kiwi Farms is about eccentric individuals and communities on the Internet. These people are commonly referred to as Lolcows and are each distinct thanks to their erratic public behavior. Spectators are encouraged to join discussion. The wealth of opinions and knowledge shared by users is what has enabled this peculiar fringe community to thrive despite the incredible adversity and contention brought by those we discuss.

    We do not place ads, host malware, sell data, or run crypto miners with your browser. If you experience these things, you have a virus. If your malware system says otherwise, it is faulty.

  • Supporting the Forum

    BTC: 1LXpv9FUiazGB2LVyS44cTTEQFc8CBgPYi

    BTC+SW: bc1qwv5fzv9u6arksw6ytf79gfvce078vprtc0m55s

    ETH: 0xc1071c60ae27c8cc3c834e11289205f8f9c78ca5

    LTC: LNjmyhxThrTMY4izBdcdWqvW287LmCB6bg

    XMR: 438fUMciiahbYemDyww6afT1atgqK3tSTX25SEmYknpmenTR6wvXDMeco1ThX2E8gBQgm9eKd1KAtEQvKzNMFrmjJJpiino

Copyright © 2016 Lolcow LLC
This website may contain offensive or adult content.
Discontinue browsing if it is illegal or against your wishes to see such material.
All content belongs to their respective authors and does not represent Lolcow LLC.
We have not been served any secret court orders and are not under any gag orders.