Kiwi Farms

Here are some of my favorite things to eat, and a few secret Food Level Ten techniques:

Ice Cream Samwidge Tactical Manouevre

1x Blue Bell Ice Cream Samwidge (the one with the dry ass dark brown cookies with the holes in them)
1x glass of milk

Directions: dip the ice cream treat in the milk to moisten those dry ass fuckin cookies. It changes everything about that sandwich

Baby Finger

1x Halloween Mini Butterfinger
1x Halloween Mini Baby Ruth

Directions: This only really works with the Halloween mini chocolate candies. They taste different than the big ones and they are easier to do this with. Open both pieces of candy. Take the flat bottoms and stick them together to make a single candy bar. Pop the whole thing into your mouth. Butterfingers and Baby Ruth go really good together! Try it and you'll see this is a True Top Tier Two Treat Technique. Only for Halloween!

Cats Sweet Weaner:

1x Earl Campbells Red Hot Link
2x Hawaiian Roll
1x dose of sweet BBQ/dip
1x dose of hot BBQ/dip

Directions: Microwaev the Red Hot Link for 50 sec, take two hawaiian rolls from the bag but leave them connected. Slice them down the side liek a hotdog bun (they sell hawaiian hotdog buns but they are much thinner and do not taste as good as this method) fill the interior of the new hotdog receptacle with your sweet BBQ sauce. Take the Link from the microwave once 50 seconds is over, put it in the bun and roll it around in the soss. Then take your hot BBQ soss and drizzle it over the sweet stuff. Microwave it for 11 seconds and enjoy decadent spicy sweet weiner heaven. Fresh hawaiian rolls are mandatory. My go to sauces are Texas Q Sweet Heat and Salt Lick Spicy, but any sweet and hot light brown sauce will work. Experiment to find your favorite sauces.

Number One Spam Musubi Recipe In The Planet Especially Earth:

1x Rice Cooker
1x large pan
2x Can of Spam
5x cups of SUSHI rice
6 1/2 cups of water
3 1/2x tablespoons of sushi rice vinegar
1x bowl of brown sugar
2x tablespoons of cooking oil
14x strips of roasted nori (sea weed not the weed that is Drugs)

Directions: Mix the rice, water, and sushi rice vinegar into your rice cooker and stir. Cook that rice. Make sure its finished cooking before you do your spams. Slice your spam into 14 equal slices (2 cans will make 14 spams the size you want) and coat each spam in brown sugar. Pour the cooking oil in a pan along with a bit more of the brown sugar and get it a little below medium hot. Fry the spams on LOW-MED until one side is almost candied and glazed with brown shoog. Flip them over and do it again, if they are getting too cooked too fast lower the heat because you want them candied in brown sugar. You'll know they are candied properly if they are really brown and crystally and sticky. While the spam is finishing cooking, get a small bowl of water and your bowl of finished sushi rice and dip your hands in the water so it won't stick to them. Now you're gonna make 14 rice balls, and when they are done, smush them down a little into caeks. Take the spams directly from the pan and put them on the rice caeks, and when they cool just a bit, wrap them in the Nori just like a sushi. These are delectable meat sushi candy and can be eaten hot, cold, fresh, or a day old. Make sure to wrap them in cellophane or get them away from oxygen if you're going to keep them for longer than a few hours, and don't wrap them with the Nori until you're ready to eat unless you enjoy soggy nori. Many people think this sounds weird or gross until they try it and then they are Musubi addicts and always begging me to make them some. My cat even likes them

thats all the secrets i am going to share with kiwi for now