Celebrity lolcows -

The Dude

Bro, don't even bro, bro.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
How about Carrot Top and Michael Bay? Oh! Michael Jackson!
 

littlebiscuits

mean girl
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
I do feel more than a bit sorry for this girl because her parents basically sold her as a child bride to the highest bidder, but never the less, she is a celebrity lolcow.

Meet Courtney Strodden:



When Courtney was 16 her parents married her off to 51 year old Doug Hutchison (he was an actor on Lost and a few other shows. Minor celebrity but he's very rich). Shortly after her marriage, Courtney received facial surgery and breast enhancement to turn her from a sweet little girl into...this:



She then decided to pursue her singing career.


[youtube]dOrD5kqyov0[/youtube]

It wasn't a success.

As you can imagine, as soon as Courtney stopped being jailbait, Doug dumped her and went onto the next little girl. Weirdly, she still lives at his house where he manages her "career" and basically controls her day to day life.

Also she's a weirdo vegan:

[youtube]gkVRC9-ZuI0[/youtube]
 
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DrChristianTroy

kiwifarms.net
Nobody.

I mean at least long term. Some have their month to 6 and it's over (see Charlie Sheen). Then there are the Kardashain types who dominate tabloids but that doesn't effect me all that much. You have the ones that are on and off (Bieber, Chris Brown) who are fun but get boring after awhile.

Very few have lasting effect with me and if they do (Kanye) I admire it because they are amazing at what they do and earned the right to say whatever they want.
 

Huntin' Slash

in memory of @hyperion 1980-2017
Staff Member
Community Admin
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Vince "no onions on mine" Vaughn

I won't rest until he's dead or in prison. Him and his sex friend Owen Wilson, too. And David "let's totally rewrite the script" Koepp.
 

TheAutisticDriver

kiwifarms.net
Jewelsmakerguy said:
Do politicians count, because there is Rob Ford and his cocaine scandal.

And let's not forget that rant Christian Bale made in 2009 (what is it with people named Chris and infamy anyways).
Rob Ford has got to be lolcow of the decade. To me he is the CWC of the political world and the TRUE and HONEST mayor of Toronto. Much like OPL just when you think it couldn't get any worse he surprises us with more fail bigger and better a than ever before.
 

TheAutisticDriver

kiwifarms.net
TheAutisticDriver said:
Jewelsmakerguy said:
Do politicians count, because there is Rob Ford and his cocaine scandal.

And let's not forget that rant Christian Bale made in 2009 (what is it with people named Chris and infamy anyways).
Rob Ford has got to be lolcow of the decade. To me he is the CWC of the political world and the TRUE and HONEST mayor of Toronto. Much like OPL just when you think it couldn't get any worse he surprises us with more fail bigger and better a than ever before.
Which gives me an idea. Has anybody shooped cwc's head on ford's body or visa versa?
 

Vodka's My BFF

I'm not dead. I drift in and out.
kiwifarms.net
The Kardashians just need to go away already.

Now this may sound horrible, but stick with me: In regards to Rob Ford, he cracks me up in the fact that he's running for re-election. I'm tickled pink. Politicians want us to know the truth, right? Well, after this latest video of Rob drunk surfacing, I would totally vote for him only because you know what you're getting: A crack smoking alcoholic. His shenanigans would only get funnier. Sorry, Toronto.
 

DrChristianTroy

kiwifarms.net
Vodka's My BFF said:
The Kardashians just need to go away already.
I don't want to judge but I hear this sentiment a lot and I'm wondering is do you look at tabloids or celeb gossip sites? Do you work in an entertainment based business? Because otherwise I don't see how they can see them all that much. Most I see is the occasional blurb (hardly full articles) on IMDB or whatever rag is at the counter at the grocery store. Maybe I'm particularly lucky but I generally don't have the Kardashian family infiltrating the news I read.

EDIT- Also on hip hop sites in relation to things involving Yeezus but again hardly something that overtakes my news.
 

Vodka's My BFF

I'm not dead. I drift in and out.
kiwifarms.net
DrChristianTroy said:
Vodka's My BFF said:
The Kardashians just need to go away already.
I don't want to judge but I hear this sentiment a lot and I'm wondering is do you look at tabloids or celeb gossip sites? Do you work in an entertainment based business? Because otherwise I don't see how they can see them all that much. Most I see is the occasional blurb (hardly full articles) on IMDB or whatever rag is at the counter at the grocery store. Maybe I'm particularly lucky but I generally don't have the Kardashian family infiltrating the news I read.

EDIT- Also on hip hop sites in relation to things involving Yeezus but again hardly something that overtakes my news.
I don't look at the tabloids and avoid gossip sites like the plague. As far as working in an "entertainment based business," I'm a DJ and have to hear about them quite regularly from drunken broads obsessed with those whores because they see them as something to aspire to be. It goes with the territory as I'm the one that chooses to commute to the city for work. You're lucky that you don't have to hear about what Kim's ass or Khloe or Kourtney's vag is up to this week.
 

Pikimon

Exceptionally Overachieving Mexican
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
I refer to Kim, Khloe and Kourtney Kardashian as the "KKK" for short.
 

Rev. Rye

kiwifarms.net
I consider Liam Gallagher of Oasis quite the lolcow, especially after he got caught getting drunk in public and trying to ride a random dog like a horse. And yes, this did happen.
 

Trombonista

どんだけ!
Staff Member
Moderator
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Come to think of it, does Tommy Wiseau count as a lolcow?
 

exball

He's fat! Iiiiii'm thin!
kiwifarms.net
trombonista said:
Come to think of it, does Tommy Wiseau count as a lolcow?
:o
Tommy Wiseau is a cinematic genius and you label him a lolcow! The man gave a powerful, deep performance and wrote powerful, natural dialog. You are naive.
 

Pivotal_Moment

kiwifarms.net
littlebiscuits said:
I do feel more than a bit sorry for this girl because her parents basically sold her as a child bride to the highest bidder, but never the less, she is a celebrity lolcow.

Meet Courtney Strodden:

http://metrouk2.files.wordpress.com/2013/08/fgh.jpg

When Courtney was 16 her parents married her off to 51 year old Doug Hutchison (he was an actor on Lost and a few other shows. Minor celebrity but he's very rich). Shortly after her marriage, Courtney received facial surgery and breast enhancement to turn her from a sweet little girl into...this:

http://assets-s3.usmagazine.com/uploads ... ow-467.jpg

She then decided to pursue her singing career.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dOrD5kqyov0

It wasn't a success.

As you can imagine, as soon as Courtney stopped being jailbait, Doug dumped her and went onto the next little girl. Weirdly, she still lives at his house where he manages her "career" and basically controls her day to day life.

Also she's a weirdo vegan:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gkVRC9-ZuI0
Yeesh, it's the real life Bunny Lebowski! AUGH YEAH
 

Pivotal_Moment

kiwifarms.net
I guess Phil Hendrie counts as a celebrity depending on who you talk to, where they're from, and whether or not they listened to talk radio while he was in his prime.

His show used to be one of the best, but continual post 911 political ranting lost him a lot of fans, and not too long after that he started descending into some sort of madness. Nowadays, he spends his time responding explosively to trolls, out in the open where everyone can hear it. Very paranoid. There's a fan forum that used to sing his praises (there used to be two of them, actually. The first one turned against him years ago when he first started showing signs of being irrational and paranoid). Now it's just sort of Lolcow Hendrie Central. They used to post audio clips of his daily temper tantrums. Good fun! His chimp-outs are a lot more entertaining than what his show has turned into.

Hope he counts, even thought not many here might have heard of him. It's been quite a while since he was good.
 
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Roger Rabbit

A rabbit who should die
kiwifarms.net
I dunno if he counts, considering he's on a political show, but Sean Hanity.

He recently got p-o'd at somebody saying New York isn't the place for ultra conservatives, since he lives and works there, and keeps making comments about wanting to do his show somewhere else.
 

Mexican_Wizard_711

kiwifarms.net
Jim Carry (was once involved with anti-vaxxer movement, now sputs woke shit on Twitter)

Madonna (has-been singer that tries desperately to remain revelent)

Jussie Smollett (faked a hate crime by using his two black buddies)

Dan Harmon (co-creator of Rick & Morty, Fat and obnoxious asshole that screams at people on Twitter and loves cuckold porn)

Kardashians & Jenners (somebody fucking kill these people already)
 
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Syaoran Li

Branson's Most Wanted
kiwifarms.net
If I had to take a guess, I'd say the following celebrities would probably qualify as lolcows, dramacows, or horrorcows to varying degrees.

Charlie Sheen in particular would qualify as a horrorcow if the rumors about his pedophilia and sadism are true, especially when combined with his infamous HIV and cocaine-fueled meltdown in 2011.

Lindsay Lohan
Charlie Sheen
Andy Dick
Randy Quaid
Tila Tequila
Shia LaBouf
Varg Vikernes (nowadays he's more "Internet Famous" but even in his black metal days, he was a lolcow)
Ted Nugent
Kevin Sorbo
Lena Dunham
Ed Wood
Uwe Boll
Dane Cook
Caitlyn Jenner
Madonna
Courtney Love (Definitely a dramacow, possibly a horrorcow if she really did have Kurt Cobain murdered)
Jack Chick (Honestly, I think Chick was the ultimate lolcow and transcended multiple cultural eras)

Notably, I don't consider Kanye West or Mel Gibson to be lolcows despite their oddball behavior and asinine statements, because they've paid their dues, still have talent, and didn't have their breakdowns until well after they had firmly established themselves and secured their legacy.

Had either of them did what they did a decade earlier in their careers, then they could qualify as lolcows.

Kanye still makes best-selling albums while Hacksaw Ridge got nominated for an Oscar and both of these happened after their supposed breakdowns.

The Kardashians aren't really lolcows, they're just annoying rich kids who are connected to celebrities. Kim Kardashian is to the 2010's what Paris Hilton was to the 2000's. A spoiled heiress who is famous for being famous, and both even had a sex tape and a reality show.

Honestly, Caitlyn Jenner just barely qualifies as a lolcow only because they trooned out at the worst possible time and basically helped trigger the massive wave of insane troons, including a good chunk of the Rat King lolcows.

I don't consider Tommy Wiseau a lolcow simply because despite how lulzy The Room turned out to be, Greg Sestero and several others confirmed that Wiseau funded the movie entirely out of his own pocket because he was already independently wealthy before he even considered making a movie.

If you're a self-made millionaire (keep in mind that Tommy was originally a refugee from Eastern Europe) it is very hard to call you a lolcow. Also keep in mind that after The Room became known as the ultimate "So Bad It's Good" movie, Tommy Wiseau immediately capitalized on that and deliberately promoted his film as a bad cringe comedy. And it worked.

If Wiseau was a true lolcow, he would've kept insisting that The Room was the serious high-brow drama he originally intended it to be and would have not capitalized on its poor quality the way he did.
 
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