Celebrity lolcows -

lightswitchdoll

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Tom DeLonge, the former lead guitarist & singer of Blink-182, is a good one. When Blink-182 broke up in 2005, he started up Angels & Airwaves, got a huge head about it, and talked it up like the music they play is "by a band meant to be the absolute biggest band in the world":

View attachment 869242

Surprise surprise, it turned out to be an extremely pretentious emo band.

But later on, his real obsession slowly started to come out. Aliens. Specifically, if the U.S. government really has had contact with alien life, and if they're being held captive somewhere. Remember the song, Aliens Exist, from Enema of the State? Yep, you can take that song seriously.

His Joe Rogan interview is a hell of a lot of him going "I know a guy who knows a guy who-" and "I can't tell you that", currently sitting at 27k upvotes, 8k downvotes:

He even made an appearance in the leaked Podesta emails, where he was digging to find info about, you guessed it, aliens.
Oh wow, I remember that interview in kerrang. He'd tried to make Mark and Travis out as terrible people who wouldn't let him have time off to be with his family and that's the only reason why he was leaving blink and everyone felt really sorry for him... and then this interview came out and it became apparent Tom was actually just completely fucking mental with this second coming of christ bullshit. And that's even without all the alien shit.
 

murgatroid

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Tom DeLonge, the former lead guitarist & singer of Blink-182, is a good one. When Blink-182 broke up in 2005, he started up Angels & Airwaves, got a huge head about it, and talked it up like the music they play is "by a band meant to be the absolute biggest band in the world":

View attachment 869242

Surprise surprise, it turned out to be an extremely pretentious emo band.

But later on, his real obsession slowly started to come out. Aliens. Specifically, if the U.S. government really has had contact with alien life, and if they're being held captive somewhere. Remember the song, Aliens Exist, from Enema of the State? Yep, you can take that song seriously.

His Joe Rogan interview is a hell of a lot of him going "I know a guy who knows a guy who-" and "I can't tell you that", currently sitting at 27k upvotes, 8k downvotes:

He even made an appearance in the leaked Podesta emails, where he was digging to find info about, you guessed it, aliens.
In case anyone needed any more proof most rock stars are really dumb.

Certain parts of that interview made me want to bang my head against the wall. You can tell how gullible he is and how willing he is to give his money away to people who will tell him what he wants to hear.

Bob Lazar has barely any higher education and his description of "element 115" would end up being nothing like the element 115 that was added to the periodic tables recently.
 

Jeffrey Epstein

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Gonna have to say, especially after yesterday, Kojima.... Kojima. Kojima. "Urination mechanic Kojima."
And "world premiere" Geoff "big asparagus boss" Keighley.
 
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REGENDarySumanai

"Good morning motherfuckers!" - Kiryuu Coco
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Gonna have to say, especially after yesterday, Kojima.... Kojima. Kojima. "Urination mechanic Kojima."
And "world premiere" Geoff "big asparagus boss" Keighley.
Postal 2 has a mechanic for pissing. It's actually a plot point as the Postal Dude needs to get medicine for gonorrhea. After you beat Postal 2, you can piss napalm, vomit, blood, piss, and gonorrhea piss. Piss in someone's mouth and they start vomiting. Why the fuck did I spend so much time about talking about pissing mechanics of a nearly 20 year old PC game running on Unreal Engine 2?
 

Jeffrey Epstein

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Postal 2 has a mechanic for pissing. It's actually a plot point as the Postal Dude needs to get medicine for gonorrhea. After you beat Postal 2, you can piss napalm, vomit, blood, piss, and gonorrhea piss. Piss in someone's mouth and they start vomiting. Why the fuck did I spend so much time about talking about pissing mechanics of a nearly 20 year old PC game running on Unreal Engine 2?
I don't know why you did that, but Kojima's handling of advertising his latest "game" is exceptional, even for him.
 

MirrorNoir

Un, deux, trois, dit miroir noir
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Does Andy Dick count, even though no one cares about what he does?
He counts, because his antics led to TWO actors dying (Mark Strickland and Phil Hartman) and the fact that the circumstances*/role in the murder of Hartman has made him a pariah in Hollywood and led to people like John Lovitz, vowing to beat Andy Dick to death if he ever comes near him.

*Phil Hartman's wife had major substance abuse issues and mental health issues, with the former causing the later to express itself in her being violent to those around her. Hartman had been doing his best to get his wife clean of drugs and into therapy, but one night Dick ran into Hartman's wife and shared drugs with her. Even though Dick was already on thin ice, socially for doing the same with Mark Strickland, who was an up and coming actor who was struggling with substance abuse problems and who killed himself after Andy Dick wormed his way into Strickland's life one night and pressured him to do drugs with him, which led to him killing himself out of anger/guilt for breaking his sobriety. But in the case of Hartman's wife, she didn't just kill herself after Andy got her high again. In a psychotic break from reality, she murdered her husband Phil Hartman in cold blood and then committed suicide afterwords rather than face the consequences of what she did. Afterwords, Andy Dick was outed as the guy who gave Phil's wife the the drugs that triggered her murder-suicide and Dick was utterly glib and not giving a fuck about his role in it which made him a pariah, since he had already pissed people off with his role in causing the previous suicide of Mark Strickland and not caring that his actions forcing drugs on Mark led to him killing himself.

Oh wow, I remember that interview in kerrang. He'd tried to make Mark and Travis out as terrible people who wouldn't let him have time off to be with his family and that's the only reason why he was leaving blink and everyone felt really sorry for him... and then this interview came out and it became apparent Tom was actually just completely fucking mental with this second coming of christ bullshit. And that's even without all the alien shit.
Actually Tom is the saner one of the members of Blink and most of the smearing comes from Mark and Travis being super fucking butt-hurt that Tom killed the gravy train of singing juvenile fart songs on the pop punk tour circuit.

(For those unfamiliar; in the early 00s, Blink broke apart because Tom wanted the band to go into the direction of the Pretenders and other punk bands that eventually evolve beyond the cliches of punk and pushed less fart/poop themed lyrics in favor of more grown up stuff. In particular, wanting to do rock opera stuff, which Tom eventually did with Angels and Airwaves. Mark and Travis however wanted to just do fart/poop themes juvenile crap and the band split because of that, with most fans arguing that Tom at least was trying new shit whereas Mark's side projects were Blink 182 but dumber and crappier. Which was ironic, as during their heyday, most expected Mark to be the one who eventually grows up and Tom to be stuck in his 40s pretending he was in his early 20s and not vice versa. Adding to this was Travis becoming a reality TV whore and his near death experience, which brought the three back together. However, Mark and Travis tried to exploit Travis's near death experience to force Tom to permanently kill Angels and Airwaves, which led Tom to permanently quit Blink and force Mark to call in a ringer from Aklinine Trio to replace Tom.

Most of the drama culminating in Tom permanently quitting Blink was recorded for a documentary about the reunion that was commissioned by the band but has been spiked from release, by Mark and Travis due to how shitty it makes them look and destroys the narrative they've been pushing ever since then, to try and blame Tom for why the band broke up in the 00s and their reunion album flopping.
 
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Syaoran Li

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I was going to mention Andy Dick but @MirrorNoir beat me to it.

I used to think Jon Lovitz would end up as a lolcow eventually, but apparently he's actually one of the more based of the Hollywood comedic actors.

Remember that infamous spat he had with Kevin Smith a few years back?

It was because Lovitz called out Obama on his bullshit rhetoric and dared to express the fact that he was disappointed by Obama after voting for him in 2008.

Now, Kevin Smith is not a lolcow yet but he's definitely bordering the territory and has been ever since he decided to make sequels to Tusk.

Especially since he made Tusk as a "Springtime For Hitler" ploy to get Harvey Weinstein off his back so he could make Clerks III, and the ploy actually worked.

Despite being a flop at the box office, Kevin Smith mentioned in his podcast that Tusk had already made a profit before its official theatrical release thanks to a fairly low budget and a presumably shady deal with its foreign distribution.

Also, Tusk was barely even in the theaters. Even for a flop, it had an unusually short theatrical run in America.

Clerks III ended up getting cancelled since Jeff Anderson wants to move on with his life and live out his semi-retirement in peace.

How did he respond? By making Yoga Hosers and Moose Jaws, which were both somehow worse than Tusk.

Hopefully, he can get back on track with the Jay and Silent Bob Reboot, but I don't know.
 
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Scooter Braun

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I have a feeling that she might end up with an actual thread in another 5 or 6 years.

Edit----


wow
Let's put her thread right next to Russell Greer's thread lol
 
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Sīn the Moon Daddy

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I think Taylor's father might be the real lolcow. It sounds like this cum guzzler doesn't pay attention and keeps costing his daughter $$$


Taylor’s dad, Scott Swift, was a shareholder in Big Machine Records, LLC. We first alerted all of the shareholders on Thursday, June 20th for an official shareholder’s call scheduled for Tuesday, June 25th. On the 6/25 call the shareholders were made aware of the pending deal with Ithaca Holdings and had 3 days to go over all of the details of the proposed transaction. We then had a final call on Friday, June 28th in which the transaction passed with a majority vote and 3 of the 5 shareholders voting ‘yes’ with 92% of the shareho

It sounds like the dumbfuck doesn't really understand English because it sounds pretty clear that he was given notification. Apparently he forgot to tell his daughter. I guess he was too busy boomer posting on alt-right web forums.


Taylor Swift, master manipulator, is BTFO by Kim Kardashian


Losing a fight with Kim Kardashian this badly is enough to qualify her as a lolcow.
 

Scooter Braun

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The most damming piece of evidence from the lawsuit was an email Taylor’s dad supposedly sent to Scott Borchetta showing a prearranged agreement to dump Dymtrow before Big Machine would sign Taylor. “Enough with the Dymtrow,” Scott Swift allegedly wrote to Scott Borchetta. “You asked me to break both his legs, wrap him in chains and throw him in the lake. I did.”
It almost sounds like Taylor Swift and Scott Swift conspired to rip off her former manager, and then they ran headlong into Scott Borchetta's contract that would grant him full ownership of Taylor's first six albums. Taylor Swift signed this contract without reviewing it.

Now this autistic skank is having a public meltdown because she's a lolcow.
 

Based_Papa_John

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Taylor Swift is one of those singers who has clung onto stardom far longer than she should have. She should have found some wealthy businessman/producer/professional lech and spend the rest of her life selling "Goop"-type products. Instead, she's become a living drama factory willing to suck the proverbial doorknob off of Hollywood in order to move on into acting. I cannot wait until no one takes her seriously.
 
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