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Intermittent Denial of Service attack is causing downtime. Looks like a kiddie 5 min rental. Waiting on a response from upstream.
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TheRetroReplay
kiwifarms.net
While hanging out at mt attration location while on my love quest I had decided to give a call to my gal pal I thought I'd give her da update on my search for a Sweetheart from the ground-up and she had asked me to vist her house, I was excited, my duck was about to get some tom-tom to pound. I ran home to put on my best muscle bra but bumped into a niggo pedofork on the way out, he didn't like my tomgirl outfit but I showed my fangs but he gave me the prickly wicklies. But that didn't matter, I was about to get fuzzy wuzzies with some sweet, sweet china. But I did fire off a Curse-ye-ha-me-ha to that jerk who played kick the autistic he had a Hex Bawx shirt on too. I got home and saw that my monthly tugboat had arrived, I hurried to get a raincoat so that my navy wouldn't leave my comeuppance but by the time I got to her house she saw my butt garments and laughed, my heart level shattered. I knew those damn homos had something to do with it, so after some wheelings and dealings I had found out that virginia is for virgins and that I was cursed to be a virgin with rage forever, I will never find a boyfriend-free girl. I went back home to mass debate but I forgot to recycle afterwards so now my biological clock is off again.
I can't come up with a sane person translation to that
I can't come up with a sane person translation to that
Francine StripeCheer
kiwifarms.net
While hanging out at my favorite hookup spot, during my search for a girlfriend, I decided to give my female friend a phone call. I decided to give her an update on my search for a girlfriend, and she asked me to come over. I was excited. My irregular penis was about to have sex. I ran home to put on my best muscle bra, but I bumped into a homosexual black pedophile on the way out. He didn't like my crossdressing, but I showed him my teeth, but he made me uncomfortable. But that didn't matter, I was about to get lucky with some sweet, sweet pussy. But I did fire off a 'fuck-you' to that man who hurt my feelings, and he had an Xbox 360 shirt on, too. I got home and saw that my disability check had arrived, I hurried to get a condom so that my semen wouldn't leave my ejaculation(?). But by the time I got to her house she saw my diapers and laughed, and my heart was broken. I knew those damn homosexuals had something to do with is, so after gathering some information (that's a guess. I have no idea what that even means), I had found out that Virginia was a sex-free place and that I was cursed to be an angry virgin forever, and I will never find a girlfriend. I went back home to masturbate, but I forgot to drink it afterwards, and now my sleep cycle is off again.TheRetroReplay said:
It was easier to translate than a comment on YouTube.
TheRetroReplay
kiwifarms.net
spaps said:
Wow, when you write down something Chris would say and translate it, you can really see how mentally disturbed Chris is
TheRetroReplay said:
This is made of win but...it scares me that I understood the un-translated version.
Billpalazzo-sama
kiwifarms.net
___ said:I am a per.. a huma... As an INDIVIDUAL I have der, I have, I have dah, I can spend my tugboat on what, the, um,, things I need there... and such.
Translation: What 'Christian' thinks he said:
Translation: What 'Christian' actually said:
Today I painted my nails a fun, sassy color for a grand outing. I took a shower, which I do OFTEN, and used Oil of Olay to scrub myself vigorously. Afterwards, I made sure to point my arrow between my legs as I put on my bedazzled denim skirt. It felt good and right. I ran my fingers up my thigh and gave it a flirty smack. Mmm, smooth. I just knew today would be the day that a boyfriend-free woman would mistake me for a lesbian and take me home to scissor and be my sweetheart from the ground up. My thoughts clouded for a moment with the thought of any DANG, DIRTY HOMO TROLLS trying to turn me gay with their slanderous ways, but lesbians are safe. I put on some of the ol’ foundation so I wouldn’t have a reflective nose, my brightest turquoise or teal eye shadow, and some lipglosssssss which was a no-brainer.
Thank God and Jesus that Mommy was still asleep. Her old-fashioned thinking about my tomgirl attire is sooo yesterdecade and I didn’t want any loud, emotional outbursts from her before I left. I tucked a q-sand that had fallen on the floor back into her hand, and slipped out the door to my Mitsu. My first stop would be McDs to rehydrate with some iced tea and apple dippers and no salt on da Freedom Fries. I then went to the Fashion Square Mall, where I would do my usual once-over before settling down into my attraction location and give passing women sweet wink and hair flirts. However, my day turned sour when I realized the LIES AND SLANDER FROM THE TROLLS ON DA INTERNET have made me INVISIBLE to the general public. Would it kill a pretty, white, smoke-free, non –alcoholic, boyfriend-free, 18-29 year old woman to extend her hand in Friendship? Even though I am good-looking and thin, my heart level was shattered down to zero. I called Mommy on my cellie to give her da update, then drove home to crash into slumber.
Thank God and Jesus that Mommy was still asleep. Her old-fashioned thinking about my tomgirl attire is sooo yesterdecade and I didn’t want any loud, emotional outbursts from her before I left. I tucked a q-sand that had fallen on the floor back into her hand, and slipped out the door to my Mitsu. My first stop would be McDs to rehydrate with some iced tea and apple dippers and no salt on da Freedom Fries. I then went to the Fashion Square Mall, where I would do my usual once-over before settling down into my attraction location and give passing women sweet wink and hair flirts. However, my day turned sour when I realized the LIES AND SLANDER FROM THE TROLLS ON DA INTERNET have made me INVISIBLE to the general public. Would it kill a pretty, white, smoke-free, non –alcoholic, boyfriend-free, 18-29 year old woman to extend her hand in Friendship? Even though I am good-looking and thin, my heart level was shattered down to zero. I called Mommy on my cellie to give her da update, then drove home to crash into slumber.
I hope this is autistic enough. ORIGINAL STORY DO NOT STEAL!
Captain’s Log
I was at home playing my life upgrade when mama told me to go to go out and get her some q-sands. I didn’t feel like going full tomgirl on my adventure so I just put on my anime wings and amnyfest ring. I have so much STRESS because I don’t have a heartsweet or even gal pals in the area. The only time I got china (although I could have gotten a gal pal in high school if I wasn’t so naive) was from a Cherokian hooker. And I had to give her a gift basket that cost over 100 American dolla. That’s a lot of yen! But enough of this honest content, it’s too adultery.
When I got to McD’s to order the q-sands a young niggo was behind the counter. A JERK with a Buddha belly was in the Play Place talking to the kids in a high, soothing voice. A PEDOFORK! I looked to my right and two homos were holding hands and gazing into each other’s eyes. A van from the high school stopped by and some kids in wheelchairs came into the dining establishment. These were some slow-in-da-minds stopping by for lunch from their vocational training. These things really gave me the prickly wicklies.
I walked up to the counter and the niggo asked me for my order. I had a mental block. I couldn’t remember what mama wanted me to order. Oh, right! The q-sands! But then my iPhone rang and it was mama saying I should come home immediately. I gave her da update and told me to come home ASAP. I felt a twinge of STRESS. But there was a lady behind me who looked like one of my gal pals. I guess she was the teacher in charge of the slow-in-da-minds.
I was about to order, but then I felt that something was wrong in the basement. I quickly went to the commode to avoid DIRTY CRAPPED BRIEFS and returned. When I came back, the schoolteacher was being congratulated by the manajerk. She was the restaurant’s one millionth customer and won a year’s supply of q-sands or 1,000 American dolla.
“The special ed department at Manchester High could really use that money!” she said.
“MMM yeah, I used to go to Manchester High. I was on da honor roll.” I told her and showed her my amnyfest ring.
“Oh, that’s nice,” she said. “What are you doing now?”
“I’m getting by living with my mama living on a tugboat. I do little things for my mama, like I was just about to order some q-sands to take back to my mama. You know, the one thing I wish MHS taught me was dating ed. So, do angels have names?”
“Huh? Well, I guess so. I have to get my students settled in and then we have to eat and leave. It was nice talking to you. What’s that strange odor?”
That conversation really gave me the fuzzy wuzzies and my heart level went up 15%. I always liked knocking up teachers on my scale of respect. Note to self: this McD’s might be a good attraction location. I was about to order but a big JERK with a Star of David necklace stepped in front of me while I was on my mini love quest. He also smelled of tobacky.
The JEW ordered and I walked up to the counter. I ordered some q-sands for mama and a 20 piece McNugget and sweet tea for me.
I went and sat down. I started eating when I heard the homos enjoying some laughs under lucricities. I heard one of the trolling stupid homos say they should hook my up with Big Howie. How dare they play kick the autistic and make lucrid mislabelings about my gender! I am STUH-RAIGHT!
I got up and curse-ye-ha-me-ha’ed the homos. The JERK who ordered in front of me said I should calm down.
“I’ll break you dead, JEW!”
The teacher and the slow-in-da-minds gasped. The JERK hollered “what did you say, sissy boy?”
Oh, no! This caused me a great deal of prickly wicklies, and meant I would also get punches. I felt something warm and heavy in my drawers. DIRTY CRAPPED BRIEFS, what I had tried to avoid.
“The Jew man is gonna beat the fat man!” one of the slow-in-da-minds said.
The teacher stood up and came over to us. “Now, gentlemen, please, not in front of the children. Sir, please gather your possessions and come with me. Ew, what’s that odor?”
She wasn’t just a teacher but a sailor-soldier sent to keep me from getting the crap beat out of me, although it was scared out of me (gotta love random access humor). The manajerk gave me a look of wrath.
When we got outside, I talked to her.
“Thank you. If you don’t mind me asking, are you a boyfriend-free girl?”
“No, I have a boyfriend.”
“I have to go back to my students. Please don’t cause trouble like that again. Your mama will want her food soon.”
My iPhone rang. It was mama. I told her I was on my way home.
Captain’s Log
I was at home playing my life upgrade when mama told me to go to go out and get her some q-sands.
I didn’t feel like going full tomgirl on my adventure so I just put on my anime wings and amnyfest ring. I have so much STRESS because I don’t have a heartsweet or even gal pals in the area. The only time I got china (although I could have gotten a gal pal in high school if I wasn’t so naive) was from a Cherokian hooker. And I had to give her a gift basket that cost over 100 American dolla. That’s a lot of yen! But enough of this honest content, it’s too adultery.When I got to McD’s to order the q-sands a young niggo was behind the counter. A JERK with a Buddha belly was in the Play Place talking to the kids in a high, soothing voice. A PEDOFORK! I looked to my right and two homos were holding hands and gazing into each other’s eyes. A van from the high school stopped by and some kids in wheelchairs came into the dining establishment.
These were some slow-in-da-minds stopping by for lunch from their vocational training. These things really gave me the prickly wicklies. I walked up to the counter and the niggo asked me for my order. I had a mental block. I couldn’t remember what mama wanted me to order. Oh, right! The q-sands! But then my iPhone rang and it was mama saying I should come home immediately. I gave her da update and told me to come home ASAP. I felt a twinge of STRESS. But there was a lady behind me who looked like one of my gal pals. I guess she was the teacher in charge of the slow-in-da-minds.
I was about to order, but then I felt that something was wrong in the basement. I quickly went to the commode to avoid DIRTY CRAPPED BRIEFS and returned. When I came back, the schoolteacher was being congratulated by the manajerk. She was the restaurant’s one millionth customer and won a year’s supply of q-sands or 1,000 American dolla.
“The special ed department at Manchester High could really use that money!” she said.
“MMM yeah, I used to go to Manchester High. I was on da honor roll.” I told her and showed her my amnyfest ring.
“Oh, that’s nice,” she said. “What are you doing now?”
“I’m getting by living with my mama living on a tugboat. I do little things for my mama, like I was just about to order some q-sands to take back to my mama. You know, the one thing I wish MHS taught me was dating ed. So, do angels have names?”
“Huh? Well, I guess so. I have to get my students settled in and then we have to eat and leave. It was nice talking to you. What’s that strange odor?”
That conversation really gave me the fuzzy wuzzies and my heart level went up 15%. I always liked knocking up teachers on my scale of respect. Note to self: this McD’s might be a good attraction location. I was about to order but a big JERK with a Star of David necklace stepped in front of me while I was on my mini love quest. He also smelled of tobacky.
The JEW ordered and I walked up to the counter. I ordered some q-sands for mama and a 20 piece McNugget and sweet tea for me.
I went and sat down. I started eating when I heard the homos enjoying some laughs under lucricities. I heard one of the trolling stupid homos say they should hook my up with Big Howie. How dare they play kick the autistic and make lucrid mislabelings about my gender! I am STUH-RAIGHT!
I got up and curse-ye-ha-me-ha’ed the homos. The JERK who ordered in front of me said I should calm down.
“I’ll break you dead, JEW!”
The teacher and the slow-in-da-minds gasped. The JERK hollered “what did you say, sissy boy?”
Oh, no! This caused me a great deal of prickly wicklies, and meant I would also get punches. I felt something warm and heavy in my drawers.
DIRTY CRAPPED BRIEFS, what I had tried to avoid.“The Jew man is gonna beat the fat man!” one of the slow-in-da-minds said.
The teacher stood up and came over to us. “Now, gentlemen, please, not in front of the children. Sir, please gather your possessions and come with me. Ew, what’s that odor?”
She wasn’t just a teacher but a sailor-soldier sent to keep me from getting the crap beat out of me, although it was scared out of me (gotta love random access humor). The manajerk gave me a look of wrath.
When we got outside, I talked to her.
“Thank you. If you don’t mind me asking, are you a boyfriend-free girl?”
“No, I have a boyfriend.”
“I have to go back to my students. Please don’t cause trouble like that again. Your mama will want her food soon.”
My iPhone rang. It was mama. I told her I was on my way home.
GrandNumberOfPounds said:I hope this is autistic enough. ORIGINAL STORY DO NOT STEAL!
Captain’s Log
I was at home playing my life upgrade when mama told me to go to go out and get her some q-sands.
When I got to McD’s to order the q-sands a young niggo was behind the counter. A JERK with a Buddha belly was in the Play Place talking to the kids in a high, soothing voice. A PEDOFORK! I looked to my right and two homos were holding MANOS and gazing into each other’s eyes. A van from the high school stopped by and some kids in wheelchairs came into the dining establishment.
I walked up to the counter and the niggo asked me for my order. I had a mental block. I couldn’t remember what mama wanted me to order. Oh, right! The q-sands! But then my iPhone rang and it was mama saying I should come home immediately. I gave her da update and told me to come home ASAP. I felt a twinge of STRESS. But there was a lady behind me who looked like one of my gal pals. I guess she was the teacher in charge of the slow-in-da-minds.
I was about to order, but then I felt that something was wrong in the basement. I quickly went to the commode to avoid DIRTY CRAPPED BRIEFS and returned. When I came back, the schoolteacher was being congratulated by the manajerk. She was the restaurant’s one millionth customer and won a year’s supply of q-sands or 1,000 American dolla.
“The special ed department at Manchester High could really use that money!” she said.
“MMM yeah, I used to go to Manchester High. I was on da honor roll.” I told her and showed her my amnyfest ring.
“Oh, that’s nice,” she said. “What are you doing now?”
“I’m getting by living with my mama living on a tugboat. I do little things for my mama, like I was just about to order some q-sands to take back to my mama. You know, the one thing I wish MHS taught me was dating ed. So, do angels have names?”
“Huh? Well, I guess so. I have to get my students settled in and then we have to eat and leave. It was nice talking to you. What’s that strange odor?”
That conversation really gave me the fuzzy wuzzies and my heart level went up 15%. I always liked knocking up teachers on my scale of respect. Note to self: this McD’s might be a good attraction location. I was about to order but a big JERK with a Star of David necklace stepped in front of me while I was on my mini love quest. He also smelled of tobacky.
The JEW ordered and I walked up to the counter. I ordered some q-sands for mama and a 20 piece McNugget and sweet tea for me.
I went and sat down. I started eating when I heard the homos enjoying some laughs under lucricities. I heard one of the trolling stupid homos say they should hook my up with Big Howie. How dare they play kick the autistic and make lucrid mislabelings about my gender! I am STUH-RAIGHT!
I got up and curse-ye-ha-me-ha’ed the homos. The JERK who ordered in front of me said I should calm down.
“I’ll break you dead, JEW!”
The teacher and the slow-in-da-minds gasped. The JERK hollered “what did you say, sissy boy?”
Oh, no! This caused me a great deal of prickly wicklies, and meant I would also get punches. I felt something warm and heavy in my drawers.
“The Jew man is gonna beat the fat man!” one of the slow-in-da-minds said.
The teacher stood up and came over to us. “Now, gentlemen, please, not in front of the children. Sir, please gather your possessions and come with me. Ew, what’s that odor?”
She wasn’t just a teacher but a sailor-soldier sent to keep me from getting the crap beat out of me, although it was scared out of me (gotta love random access humor). The manajerk gave me a look of wrath.
When we got outside, I talked to her.
“Thank you. If you don’t mind me asking, are you a boyfriend-free girl?”
“No, I have a boyfriend.”
“I have to go back to my students. Please don’t cause trouble like that again. Your mama will want her food soon.”
My iPhone rang. It was mama. I told her I was on my way home.
I kept expecting this to end with
“No! I must kill the trolls!” he shouted
The radio said “No, Chris. You are the trolls”
And then Chris was a tomgirl.
Sorry to disappoint.
I had a lot of fun writing that story, though.
I had a lot of fun writing that story, though.
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