Change 3 Moments in Lolcow History -

[Arthur Morgan]

Okay, this is a just for fun thing I thought about. No time travel involved, you just change the past so that three events happen differently. They can be for one person, but that seems like a waste to me. You can use this power to either improve their lives and maybe move them away from lowcowdom, or just fuck with them for the lulz.

For example, here's my three:

1. John Flynt never met Frank Wu.

2. Moviebob joined TGWTG instead of The Escapist.

3. DSP got knocked out in the first round of that Street Fighter Tournament.

The first, because it'd be interesting to see what John and Frank would be like without each other. Second, because imagine the autism that would happen if Linkara and Moviebob made crossover story arcs together. And the third is just to take away that one victory because fuck him, why not.

 

[whatever I feel like]

1. Gamergate does not glom onto Z-list celebrity Adam Baldwin's dumb name and continues being known as the Quinnspiracy/Five Guys controversy. Doing this was such an own goal, I wonder how talking about this event would go down these days if the event was named something Zoe Quinn related.

2. Bob lives! (but Barb dies!) I think that Chris would have a more financially secure life, with hopefully less of a horde to sift through. But Bob might also be a bit harsher, wings of a butterfly it would be an entirely different past few years of Christory.

3. Cosmo wins the Nintendo World Championships. I dunno, from what little I've seen, he was always a fucking loser. But would he have kept it together? What would Nintendo have done if he didn't and trooned out while on the social media payroll....

 

[REGENDarySumanai]

1. Shrek and Donkey get arrested for running the scam known as TLL
2. Chris and ADF actually get into a fight.
3. Yaniv gets sacked and thrown in a male prison for at least a decade for his bullshit

 

[BingBong]

I only have one thing I'd want to change.

Terry didn't die.

 

[Great Dane]

1. Chris-Chan doesn't make any videos/upload comics after the Rollin' and Trollin' video.

2. Vordrak never tries to demonetize Kiwi Farms or take it down.

3. Russell Greer wins America's Got Talent.

 

[The High Prophet of Truth]

1. Chris-Chan has all Internet access restricted.

2. DragonLord doesn't respond to the people harassing his sister.

3. Doug Walker quietly retires after To Boldly Flee and does not try and maintain relevance through the Nostalgia Critic.

 

[Neko GF]

1. Ethan Ralph rehabs and lays off the booze and xanax

2. Cosmo Wright doesn't troon out

3. Dick Masterson doesn't white knight for and associate with pedos

 

[Neferpitou!]

One. Julie didn't an hero.

 

[whatever I feel like]

One. Julie didn't an hero.

We lost one of the all-time greats. Like a less valuable to society Terry.

 

[JokahBaybee]

digi didn't meet may

 

[D̥̜̖͗͆̿E̼̰VÔ̦Ȗ̟̹̮͊͋R͊̒]

1. No fucking Dimensional Merge saga (can't stress this one enough it's so boring)
2. DSP is the reigning champ and face of the FGC instead of sonicfox
3. Also Pandalee married him

 

[dunbrine47]

1. Shaner made more criminal railroad antics post trial.
2. Aaron Mc Cluskie did not get weened.
3. Qetouk (a cow I did) actually got verified and continued to post in the thread.

 

[Fünter]

1) Amberlynn gets raised by decent parents.
2) Desmond gets raised by decent parents.
3) Kevin Gibes not allowed SRS.

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

1. Terry was actually recognized for his genius at some point in his life.
2. DSP lost his bankruptcy suit.
3. Jacob Sockness made it into Chris's house.

 

[Tookie]

1. Chris fucking dies.
2. Terry lives.
3. Fedsmoker lives.

 

[Canned Bread]

1. Onision is in prison for his crimes
2. Chris never got in contact with the Idea Guys
3. DSP never broke up with PandaLee (Because Kat is probably the most boring person on the planet, also the escort saga would have never happened).

 

[Mender Bug]

Barb dies instead of Bob.
Terry is still alive.
All of the zoo-sadists are thrown into a wood-chipper repeatedly.

 

[Kiwi Yuga]

Chris doesn't troon out
Terry doesn't die
Tonkasaw shows up and breaks Andy Warski's back in Knoxville, permanently restricting him to a wheel chair.

 

[JambledUpWords]

1. Becky dies instead of Becky’s mom, leaving Al in need of another servant
2. Amberlynn moves in with MermaidQueenJude and Jude is forced to wipe and bathe Amber
3. After months of no activity, Amberlynn decides to start an OnlyFans to generate quick cash

 

[Hamplanet Fitness]

Dylan Hafertepen was charged with and convicted of murder
Saira Rao married a white man instead of an Indian
Yaniv was sent to a male jail for filing false police reports