Gross Chantal Sarault / Foodie Beauty - Crazy 450lb narcissistic coprophile, misanthropic ogress, thinks people envy her

  • Order for the new server will be going in ASAP. Performance will be rocky until then (rip).

clusterfuckk

Forchette! Forchette!
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I’d like to imagine the following scenario...
Hear me out gorls

Chantal gets her family meal at 830 am, drives to the furthest parking spot from the prying eyes of customers with REAL jobs getting their coffee or whatever before work. This parking spot, though secluded, is dark and as Chinny is about to deep throat a chili dog, some young punk knocks on her window with a gun (real or fake use your imagination gorls) and holds her up.

Takes her purse and phone and fucks off with it.
(Id say her shitbox vehicle too but that’s not even remotely believable)

What does Chinny do in this scenario?
 

Rabbit Bones

He Rapes To Make That Money For His Family
True & Honest Fan
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There is no chance she's not gonna shit her pants after all that grease and amount. She literally inhaled that enormous hotdog and these crispy balls. How long is the drive home? Several hours? She will either soil herself in the car or park on the side of the road and wobble to the forest to drop a steamy mountain and destroy half of the wild life
She probably has an iron gut when it comes to meat and grease. It's what she subsides on, her system is used to it. If she'd eaten some fresh, fibrous vegetables though, she'd likely blow out the seat of her pants.
 

weaselhat

kiwifarms.net
Okay, she ate a chili cheese tot and chili cheese dog. Girl, you need to diversify. Chili cheese tots, moz sticks, and then a corn dog. French toast sticks for dessert. For a lard ass, she sure don't know her way around a fast food menu 😒


Once I ate at a waffle house and there was dip in the bottom of my chocolate tard cum
She should have at least added a milkshake or a sonic blast to her order.
 

Strine

It had become a glimmering gorl,
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Angry Strine tortures him- or her-self with a write-up:

-HellO foodyboodeys
-We open on Earth's moon wearing glasses and telling us with ghastly excitement about how she's decided on a whim to drive to Watertown to eat Sonic and then to Cicero for Chik-fil-A. She's also going to Dunkin' Donuts for "a coffee". Yeah, okay.
-Drives while holding the camera and filming because she's a stupid bitch
-She has the Sonic and is almost delirious with anticipation
-Makes a song-and-dance about how she "waited" to show us the food, because Chantal forgot that refraining from eating food within 30 seconds of getting it isn't difficult for normal people. She probably ate more before she started filming, anyway.
-Expert food review of the blue cancer juice; already detailed by Turd Blossom
-Makes sure to call the food she's about to eat in three bites "humongous"
-Comedy stylings as Chantal says "beauty bite" in a stupid voice and shows off her yellow teeth
-Food review of the hot dog: "that hot dog is juicy"

-She's really doing her psycho witch voice a lot in this video. She's very manic. "Canadians use coloured money... HEE! MONOPOLY MONEY!"
-Chantal was surprised and exasperated that she couldn't use foreign currency because she's a complete goddamn fucking moron
-She speculates this is because "Canadians don't come here very often" because " "
-She promises she'll do an "explore" video of regional areas with Peetz. This will definitely happen
-She does a bitchy impersonation of the border guard (after 60 seconds of setup while gazing passionately at her food) that I'm sure is totally inaccurate
-Boring trivia about the border guard that probably never happened
-She mentions Shakespeare for no in-context reason; this is because we called her out for being an illiterate sow
-She says "beauty sip" in such a way that I physically cringed at my computer
-Her account of the meeting with the border guard sounds like it would be humiliating, except for the fact that she made it up

-Goes into a food fantasia and says if she lived in the USA she'd be eight hundred pounds. Good thing Canada has kept her so svelte
-Disgusting eating noises
-Twitching and shuddering when she takes a mouthful. This cunt is beyond help
-She wants to go to Dunkin Donuts "for a coffee" and nothing else, I'm sure. You said that two hours ago, gorl.
-"The hot dog is so... flavourful. It's like... juicy. I don't know." Food review queen
-"Why would there be a Sonic in a hick town like this?" Yeah Chantal, Sonic has three Michelin stars and their other locations are in central Paris and Rome
-Moaning and slurping and Strine retching. This uppity blimp obviously hasn't had an orgasm since before that border law was passed
-Garbles with two pounds of food still being masticated that she's EXCITED and clears her throat like a man
-"Trying something new, you know?" yes eating 3000 calories in your car on camera is really uncharted waters for you isn't it Chantal
-Says once again how amazing it is that they serve all their food all day. You know how else you can get whatever food you want any time of day? Cooking it at your house!
-Tells us things on the menu because she's run out of boring things to talk about
-"I should go walk around the mall... walk off the Sonic" I hope the mall is 20 miles long, because you just ate 3000 calories of Sonic

-We hear even more fictional details about the border guard
-Speaking of fiction, she claims a border guard (male, obviously) once flirted with her and her friends
-The women are always mean though, because all women are jealous of Chantal and all men are in love with her, you see
-Oh my God we're getting even more about how they didn't take Canadian money. YOU ARE NOT IN CANADA
-"I need to go find a garbage" thanks English with Honours; you just ate enough of it that you should know what "a" garbage looks like
-Tells us she's going to Chik-fil-A for more food, after eating enough calories for a day and a half in ten minutes

thanks for watching!
 

Pizza Sloth

Gluttony is not a secret vice.
kiwifarms.net
I’d like to imagine the following scenario...
Hear me out gorls

Chantal gets her family meal at 830 am, drives to the furthest parking spot from the prying eyes of customers with REAL jobs getting their coffee or whatever before work. This parking spot, though secluded, is dark and as Chinny is about to deep throat a chili dog, some young punk knocks on her window with a gun (real or fake use your imagination gorls) and holds her up.

Takes her purse and phone and fucks off with it.
(Id say her shitbox vehicle too but that’s not even remotely believable)

What does Chinny do in this scenario?
Offers him a beauty bite
 

Super Colon Blow

Does she have big thingies?
kiwifarms.net
Did she specifically say she had no passport? Because if I watch that video I'll puke. The US/Canada border crossings I've been at have been strict as fuck (really since 9/11 but especially since the passport requirement was passed). She must have had an Enhanced Driver's License (allows you to cross to the US and back), they stopped issuing them last year but you're still allowed to use them to cross the border until yours expires. If she doesn't get a passport after she renews her license and tries to cross the border she's gonna have a bad time.

And yes as a Canadian who goes to the US every now and again I can understand wanting to go for the food, maybe not greasy ass Sonic, but you guys have junk food down there that we can only dream of, portions are plentiful and even with the exchange rate it's fucking cheap. After shopping in an American Wal-Mart (Great Value brand doughnut cheeseburgers, wew lad, that should not be popular enough to need a knock off brand) I can now easily understand how Americans can get so goddamned fat on a welfare budget. Also there's a variety of decent Mexican restaurants (well probably technically Tex Mex) which we are sorely lacking in Canada.
If Chantal lived in the USA she'd explode in short order. The cheapest foods are high in fat, sugar and carbs, low in vitamins, protein, minerals and fiber. Yeah you can work around it but that takes planning, time, and skills. Cost of living varies greatly by location but let's just say you are on the east coast and you are shopping for two grown adults to last a week. You hit the produce, meat, and dairy, bypass the processed crap and you drop a benjamin easy, probably more. Chantal would just hit all the fast food chains like the 600 pound life whales do. Get a bag of grease at 4 different stops then eat them all at once in a parking lot.

Speaking of MSHPL and their ways. You ever notice this: they roll up to the drive through and instead of saying "I would like... or "let me get..." they say "I NEED A (insert 5000 calories here)." No, fatso, you need a goddamn salad!
 

Captain Ahab

kiwifarms.net
I’d like to imagine the following scenario...
Hear me out gorls

Chantal gets her family meal at 830 am, drives to the furthest parking spot from the prying eyes of customers with REAL jobs getting their coffee or whatever before work. This parking spot, though secluded, is dark and as Chinny is about to deep throat a chili dog, some young punk knocks on her window with a gun (real or fake use your imagination gorls) and holds her up.

Takes her purse and phone and fucks off with it.
(Id say her shitbox vehicle too but that’s not even remotely believable)

What does Chinny do in this scenario?
Chinny uses Mega Fart. It’s super effective.
 

canadiancxnt

gay ass bitch
kiwifarms.net
what's interesting about canada is that you can visit it without a "full" passport. If you're an american, you can visit just fine with a passport card. Which you can only use to visit mexico or canada with.
Canada /does/ actually have an isolated banking system. Evidently its very difficult to get a visa or mastercard up in canada.
I'm guessing most places take it, but I can also be uninformed.
What are you on about? Every major bank in Canada issues Visa or Mastercard. You're probably thinking of Interac, the debit system in Canada, which links banks across Canada together and with the Canadian government. If you're not using an Interac system with an Interac point-of-sale, the worst that will happen is that the debit won't show up immediately in your account.

Even still, it very much works outside of Canada, provided you're not a tard and tell your bank you're leaving the country.

Not sure what exactly Chintal's problem was, but Canadian debit cards absolutely work in America, especially around border towns. Methinks she probably didn't tell her bank she was visiting the states or her debit card was probably charged as credit. Can't wait to hear about her adventure getting back through the border in Canada, since Canadian Border Security is generally not as nice to Canadian citizens that are willfully ignorant about border crossing laws. Here's hoping she's dumb enough to try and bring prohibited food items over the border so we get a special "THEY TOOK MY FOOD AT THE BORDER!!!!" sperg. :optimistic:
 
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all is good

kiwifarms.net
I’d like to imagine the following scenario...
Hear me out gorls

Chantal gets her family meal at 830 am, drives to the furthest parking spot from the prying eyes of customers with REAL jobs getting their coffee or whatever before work. This parking spot, though secluded, is dark and as Chinny is about to deep throat a chili dog, some young punk knocks on her window with a gun (real or fake use your imagination gorls) and holds her up.

Takes her purse and phone and fucks off with it.
(Id say her shitbox vehicle too but that’s not even remotely believable)

What does Chinny do in this scenario?
Makes a video claiming he was flirting with her because in her mind every man she interacts with desires her, i.e the poor pizza delivery man, border patrol guy, and I'm sure there are more she's mentioned that I'm missing