Angry Strine tortures him- or her-self with a write-up:
-HellO foodyboodeys
-We open on Earth's moon wearing glasses and telling us with ghastly excitement about how she's decided on a whim to drive to Watertown to eat Sonic and then to Cicero for Chik-fil-A. She's also going to Dunkin' Donuts for "a coffee". Yeah, okay.
-Drives while holding the camera and filming because she's a stupid bitch
-She has the Sonic and is almost delirious with anticipation
-Makes a song-and-dance about how she "waited" to show us the food, because Chantal forgot that refraining from eating food within 30 seconds of getting it isn't difficult for normal people. She probably ate more before she started filming, anyway.
-Expert food review of the blue cancer juice; already detailed by Turd Blossom
-Makes sure to call the food she's about to eat in three bites "humongous"
-Comedy stylings as Chantal says "beauty bite" in a stupid voice and shows off her yellow teeth
-Food review of the hot dog: "that hot dog is juicy"
-She's really doing her psycho witch voice a lot in this video. She's very manic. "Canadians use coloured money... HEE! MONOPOLY MONEY!"
-Chantal was surprised and exasperated that she couldn't use foreign currency because she's a complete goddamn fucking moron
-She speculates this is because "Canadians don't come here very often" because " "
-She promises she'll do an "explore" video of regional areas with Peetz. This will definitely happen
-She does a bitchy impersonation of the border guard (after 60 seconds of setup while gazing passionately at her food) that I'm sure is totally inaccurate
-Boring trivia about the border guard that probably never happened
-She mentions Shakespeare for no in-context reason; this is because we called her out for being an illiterate sow
-She says "beauty sip" in such a way that I physically cringed at my computer
-Her account of the meeting with the border guard sounds like it would be humiliating, except for the fact that she made it up
-Goes into a food fantasia and says if she lived in the USA she'd be eight hundred pounds. Good thing Canada has kept her so svelte
-Disgusting eating noises
-Twitching and shuddering when she takes a mouthful. This cunt is beyond help
-She wants to go to Dunkin Donuts "for a coffee" and nothing else, I'm sure. You said that two hours ago, gorl.
-"The hot dog is so... flavourful. It's like... juicy. I don't know." Food review queen
-"Why would there be a Sonic in a hick town like this?" Yeah Chantal, Sonic has three Michelin stars and their other locations are in central Paris and Rome
-Moaning and slurping and Strine retching. This uppity blimp obviously hasn't had an orgasm since before that border law was passed
-Garbles with two pounds of food still being masticated that she's EXCITED and clears her throat like a man
-"Trying something new, you know?" yes eating 3000 calories in your car on camera is really uncharted waters for you isn't it Chantal
-Says once again how amazing it is that they serve all their food all day. You know how else you can get whatever food you want any time of day? Cooking it at your house!
-Tells us things on the menu because she's run out of boring things to talk about
-"I should go walk around the mall... walk off the Sonic" I hope the mall is 20 miles long, because you just ate 3000 calories of Sonic
-We hear even more fictional details about the border guard
-Speaking of fiction, she claims a border guard (male, obviously) once flirted with her and her friends
-The women are always mean though, because all women are jealous of Chantal and all men are in love with her, you see
-Oh my God we're getting even more about how they didn't take Canadian money. YOU ARE NOT IN CANADA
-"I need to go find a garbage" thanks English with Honours; you just ate enough of it that you should know what "a" garbage looks like
-Tells us she's going to Chik-fil-A for more food, after eating enough calories for a day and a half in ten minutes
thanks for watching!
