cheesecake factory taste test, torrid haul, & maybelline sky high review | weekly vlog (01/11/2021) -

Pudgy Bear Claws

turdswallop
kiwifarms.net
Horrid only sells boy shorts and thongs so fatty knew what she was getting. Maybe since Necky's head is the size of a beach ball, she can't fit between Albert's giant thighs to do oral clit stuff anymore and they're going to just yank on her circus tent panties to get her off ten times a day.

I'll take my horrifying ratings, thank yew.
 

GeorgiaGuidestones

Go cry to someone else lol
kiwifarms.net
I also love how she reads YA novels at 30 years old, it really irks me. You're 30 girl, give up on the high school love fest drama. Then when she summarizes the books she's read, she can't even come up with anything and sounds like she's reading the backs of the books.
Unfortunately, lots of women are like her. A lot of millennials can’t get over Harry Potter. YA supposed to be for teenagers but more 30+ read it then teenagers. It’s a weird phenomena but as for Amber, we all know her maturity level.
 

DefCon Dumb

Confronter of Cryptoid Cuntiness
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
"She doesn't expect us to understand..."

Correction: She's always hoped we wouldn't understand her shenanigans or the motives behind them. Unfortunately for her we do - all too well.

At this point, she's so stuck in her futile activities & thought patterns, she's beyond being a caricature of herself.
 

Tangerine Dreams

C129H223N3O54
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
In all seriousness, rival restaurants should hire the likes of Amberlynn to make mukbangs on their competition's food. Amberlynn has the potential to become the greatest weapon in the dining industry.

Can you imagine? She can be the spokesperson for a "Healthy at any Size you Guyyyyssss" campaign.

ETA: Grammar is hard.
 

DefCon Dumb

Confronter of Cryptoid Cuntiness
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
I've mentioned this before. It's possible Amber has planned, (as much as she's capable of planning), a future in which not much changes compared to today. Becky handles the driving, errands when Amber doesn't feel like being involved & probably deals with most of the genuinely adult stuff,

Although she does & will continue to fiercely deny it, there is no way in hell Amber is capable of looking after herself in the ways we all take for granted. Becky must provide a fair bit of help with showering - making sure Amber has all the required lotions & potions & towels, scrubbing hard to reach areas & helping with drying & dressing.

We know at this weight Amber can't easily reach high or low - no way she's feeding & watering animals or seeing to litter. Garbage, shlepping in shopping bags, car maintenance & dozens of other things.

Becky has really deteriorated physically since they moved to Lexington & especially since her mother died. It's possible she might face a major or catastrophic medical event of her own that could sideline her for weeks, months or permanently limit her physical activities.

Were that to happen, it would be very interesting to see how Amber deals. She professes love for Becky; could she cope with the 'worse' part of "for better or worse"? Yeah I know, they're not married but they've been living together for several years; if that's not a proper commitment, what is?

Amber can afford to hire help if those circumstances were to apply - certainly she can get a cleaner a couple of mornings a week & even at her weight, there are work arounds for taking out garbage & properly caring for the pets. If Becky needed help with washing herself, getting dressed & other personal care, Amber can bloody well step up or if necessary, hire somebody. No idea what sort of coverage Becky could get for nursing or personal care but no matter what level, Amber would have to pull her big girl thongs on.

I don't think she could or more honestly - would.
 

Red Mask

War is Intellect
kiwifarms.net
Which has better arms?

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View attachment 1842101

Jabba is better! Jabba is always better. Unlike Amber, he can resist Jedi Mind Tricks.
 

Situation Type Deal Gorl

Fuck your feelings, nancypants
kiwifarms.net
So, can't do Friday food vid cause ''mah mentulz" (whatever that means), why couldn't she film another type of video? My mental health translates to Im a lazy fatass".
She probably did film it, but then when looking at all the shit she shoved down her piehole, for once said, "Maybe this is a bad idea to put up on YT."

Restaurants work on a very thin margin, even more so now. Many of us, if you are a regular patron of a restaurant, might get a free appetizer or a free dessert once in a while,

True story: I was working a contract for almost six weeks, and the options for eating nearby were Waffle House, various fast food joints, and an Applebee's. I ate Applebee's every night for dinner. At the two week mark, they started throwing in a dessert for free. I'm going to guess that if were a 600 pound behemoth, they would not have brought anything extra, ever, no matter how many nights I ate there. Who beyond an enabler is going to give/bring more food to a deathfat beyond what they've ordered? Nobody.

It both shows that she is a cunt who uses any opportunity to make fun of her gorlfriend, but also that her face is basically just a large circle of dough with no defining edges.
I love that description.

OK that is 30 minutes of my life I will never get back but to be fair I am technically at work and got paid for it. Could she be any more boring and uneducated?
If she pulled a "Follow my day!" vid, the majority of it would be her just sitting there watching videos and tv all goddamned day. It sure wouldn't be exercising or taking Twinkie Storr for a walk.
I am having a hard time believing that she read all those books, especially since her synopsis's are basically the poor renditions of the summaries on the back cover. Most book reviewers that I watch tend to spend at least 10 minutes talking about the content of what they read, I know that it doesn't matter because honestly her reading lists are like daily a lineup of Life Time television specials. Throw in some Shakespeare Hamber or try and read any of the top 10 longest novels every written you have the time for it.
Big Al's review of MacBeth would probably include something like this: "Then this woman was saying something about blood on her hands, why didn't she just wash them?"

I want to puncture my ears when she starts talking about books. She's as bad as the people I went to highschool with, doesn't know any of the plot and can't use her own words to summarize anything. If confronted with "what was your favorite part in the book" she's likely to respond 'well i just loved the whole thing.'
No different than the fake reviewers trying to get clout in the book world.

The gift from her mom, was a blown up cell phone picture of the two of them.... I'm sorry but what kind of gift is that?? Who loves getting pics of themselves as gifts; besides Hambeast??
And the pic is not Mama Meth in front, it's Big Al's Smug CuntyLynn face.

glad to see the farms back up. ambers still fat and annoying "taste test" my fucking ass.
- her new intro is fucking cringy and dumb

Also seizure-inducing.

-our professional editing KWEEN totally already filmed today but she asssidentally deleted it :( oh noes
It was an intro. How fucking lazy do you have to be to not just refilm it.

-she highly recommends we watch this movie that came out like 30 years ago. did you
know robin williams makes good movies? shocker
Dead Poet's Society, Good Will Hunting, Gorky Park, What Dreams May Come - but because these require some actual thinking in order to get the deeper meaning, naturally she will not watch them, and if she does, she won't like them.

-she didnt like the poetry book because she literally doesnt understand that there are other types of poems besides the shit she spews out
Could you imagine her reading Emily Dickinson or any Shakespearean sonnets? "I was like, whuuuut? I don't get it."

-she has always been such a fast reader, thats why her language skills are so good
She talk gud.
At this point, turd's G.I. tract is so fucked up that if she ate clean (whole foods, unprocessed meats, etc.), she'd think she was DYING and you'd think Jackson Pollock rose from the dead to present a public exhibit in ALR's toilet--for several days.
+1 for one of the funniest thing I've ever read on this site.
 

gampboonerisms

#79,383 (editor's note: what the fucking fuck?!)
kiwifarms.net
True story: I was working a contract for almost six weeks, and the options for eating nearby were Waffle House, various fast food joints, and an Applebee's. I ate Applebee's every night for dinner. At the two week mark, they started throwing in a dessert for free. I'm going to guess that if were a 600 pound behemoth, they would not have brought anything extra, ever, no matter how many nights I ate there. Who beyond an enabler is going to give/bring more food to a deathfat beyond what they've ordered? Nobody.
Having a personality will get you farther than money.

also: And the pic is not Mama Meth in front, it's Big Al's Smug CuntyLynn face.
i noticed the same thing.
excuse me while i go read how to use this website.
 

Clotso Coof

kiwifarms.net
At this point, turd's G.I. tract is so fucked up that if she ate clean (whole foods, unprocessed meats, etc.), she'd think she was DYING and you'd think Jackson Pollock rose from the dead to present a public exhibit in ALR's toilet--for several days.
If she suddenly switched to a low fat, high fiber diet, her intestines would probably cramp and slow to a crawl. Her intestines are used to processed food and sugar zooming through them on a river of fat.
 

Lucille's Brands

kiwifarms.net
And when you look at what she claims she did eat, it makes no sense. Hardly any of that food was eaten. We're not blind. We know she didn't get to the size she is now by eating such dainty little portions like that. She either ate more after she claimed she was done, or she had something else to eat instead (orange chicken, anyone?).

Yeah I'd love to see the back part of that alleged "thong". Also that "bralette" looked like a full blown tank top for a human sized gorl.
But whhuuuttt? Don't you see how nervous she gets when tasting something? And it's always the first. First meal, first bite, first taste. What is this alien substance? Foo-ed? Is that a hard, or soft 'f'?
Bitch, please. Enough with the fucking amateur acting hour. No one gets to 600lb without hoovering the fucking food into themselves. Taste test? It barely touches her tongue on the way down, I'm sure.
Those underwear. Thong is clearly in the name of the item. Is she drunk ordering, or just visually impaired? Or she didn't read past 'Betsey Johnson'?
Here's those pants on the site. Incidentally, most items appear to be shown as 'normal' sized, or modelled by slightly larger models, but for a dedicated plus sized site, their photos do not match the reality of the kind of sizing they offer. Certainly no hint of the tents she ordered.
20210113_123543.jpg
20210113_123605.jpg
20210113_123653.jpg
And our gorl. Watch the video again. She had to rock side to side, to move herself backwards a few feet to be able to fit her underwear into frame..
Screenshot_20210113-123857_Chrome.jpgScreenshot_20210113-120010_YouTube.jpgScreenshot_20210113-120041_YouTube.jpg



This video has turned me off from Cheesecake Factory for a month.

In all seriousness, rival restaurants should hire the likes of Amberlynn to make mukbangs on their competition's food. Amberlynn has the potential to become the greatest weapon in the dining industry.
Thoughts of Am & The Thumb dissuaded me from fast food on more than one occasion.
The butler has gotten fucking massive. I await the bedbound saga. For both of them.
As so many have pointed out, they're like toddlers home alone. The second they left the fag shanty, they were doomed. Any semblance of moderation, or ounce of shame around binging, vanished as soon as there were no 'normal' sized people living with them to side eye their family sized takeout orders, or bitch about the constant grazing on processed crap. They've nothing but each other's horrible food habits to reinforce the other. The amount of weight gained by both of them since moving is breathtaking. Lovely work, gorls..
 
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OG Franklin Beans

kiwifarms.net
I am not up on the underwear fashions of Jaba sized land whales, but if your ass was bigger than a door frame. Wouldn't any underwear really be thongs? The void that the fabric would have to cover seems like such a momentous task, eventually the fabric would just say fuck it and slowly suicide into the damp moldy hell that is Amber's crack.
 

mindlessobserver

True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
I've honestly started to pity Amber. A common mistake with cows I know, but having lurked her threads its clear to me that under all that fat there is actually an attractive woman. The problem is her personality is garbage and there is no discipline or structure in her life. Unless I miss my guess she had no good father figure. Or any other validation outside what she got on the internet, which let's face it is pretty meaningless.
 

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