Chef Amberlynn and her creations - Post about her food creations or recipes here!

SituationTypeThing

kiwifarms.net
Part of me believes that she does not care if she touches raw meat, she just wants to front that she is this refined, prim, and proper person that actually cares about their hygiene. But one look at her will tell you everything you need to know.
Except she uses meat from a tube. There's nothing refined, prim or proper about tube meat (and I don't mean that euphemistically, we all know she only touched "tube meat" in movie theaters as a teen).
 

SAVE TWINKIE!

True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
In one of her cooking videos Amberlynn used a meat thermometer to double check that her one-inch cubes of chicken were done. She's a fucking idiot and I believe she's legit afraid of touching raw meat especially poultry; that's one of her PhObIaS that I don't think is fake. She may have gotten better about it, but what I was saying is I suspect that was her reasoning for getting into the habit of buying tube meat when better ground meat is sitting right there next to it at the store. It's easier for her to get tube meat out of its package without having to touch it, and the plastic of the tube is thicker than the clear cellophane that "regular" ground meat on a styrofoam tray is wrapped in.

I think the "dainty dieter" part is her reluctance to eating red meat in general, sourced from a tube or otherwise.
 

GargoyleGorl

Token SJW
kiwifarms.net
I think the "dainty dieter" part is her reluctance to eating red meat in general, sourced from a tube or otherwise.
Yeah, if you look at diet trends/tips from the mid to late 90's -- the time when AL would have first been brought to professional attention and social workers would have been paying for her Weight Watchers memberships -- it pretty clearly reflects AL's current grasp of nutrition. Lean ground turkey was supposed to be the miracle meat that saved the burgeoning fat population from itself. Spraying PAM on popcorn instead of using that filthy, calorie-filled butter was considered a healthy decision. "Replacing" fat with water (when frying) or sweetened applesauce (when baking) was applauded as both nutritionally-savvy and downright clever. And god forbid you ever went more than 90 minutes without "grazing," otherwise your bloodsugar would drop precipitously and you'd helplessly binge later in the day.

Didn't work then, obviously. Not working now. Obviously.

(This was also the age of Kate Moss and the birth of the "I wouldn't want to be too skinny" mantra AL repeats to this day.)

tl;dr AL is a walking study in arrested development from every possible angle.
 

SituationTypeThing

kiwifarms.net
In the year or so I've been watching this train wreck, I don't think I've ever seen her eat red meat. Anybody know if she's under the impression that ANY red meat is bad for you or does she simply not like it? Beef, bison, even pork - never seen her use anything but chicken & rarely, ground turkey.
At the very least, she eats salami (which is either beef or pork or both? I've never had it, but chef google says it depends and could be either). She's always going on and on about her salami trays. Even when she and destiny had that "christmas" party (which turned out to be a surprise birthday party) she went on and on about salami trays. She's also eaten hot dogs in videos before.
 

GargoyleGorl

Token SJW
kiwifarms.net
At the very least, she eats salami (which is either beef or pork or both? I've never had it, but chef google says it depends and could be either). She's always going on and on about her salami trays. Even when she and destiny had that "christmas" party (which turned out to be a surprise birthday party) she went on and on about salami trays. She's also eaten hot dogs in videos before.
Salami and hotdogs are still tubemeat. So's kielbasa.

I'm detecting a pattern.
 

DefCon Dumb

Confronter of Cryptoid Cuntiness
kiwifarms.net
I can hardly wait to see her proudly show off the 'contribution in prepping' segment of her next upload... si what will she smugly & proudly show us: badly arranged crackers on a tray? Various pickles decanted into Dollar Store 'crystal'? Pre-packaged snack trays from Wommart or Kroger alone with the mandatory shade at Becky because she eats what SHE prefers rather than Amber?
 

DatBepisTho

Cryptid Farmer
kiwifarms.net
Salami and hotdogs are still tubemeat. So's kielbasa.

I'm detecting a pattern.
Maybe she really digs the taste of the animal's added humiliation of being ground up and stuffed back into their own gut skins?

If anything, the preservatives tickle that dopamine center more than eating a good steak/chicken breast/porkloin would.
Could you imagine tastes like that during the holidays? (:_(
 

GargoyleGorl

Token SJW
kiwifarms.net
Maybe she really digs the taste of the animal's added humiliation of being ground up and stuffed back into their own gut skins?

If anything, the preservatives tickle that dopamine center more than eating a good steak/chicken breast/porkloin would.
Could you imagine tastes like that during the holidays? (:_(
She's never had wholesome, home-made food as a regular part of her diet. That's the thing. Normal food is something to be endured when you don't have the money for "real" food from Burger King.

I've said this before, but the nearest she's ever come to having actual food was living with Krystle's parents (and even then, she was making her own nasty soup abortions) and the oily slop Becky's hill clan celebrates as "meemaw's cookin'". Her tastes are 100% the product of ready-made, incredibly processed, oversalted, deep-fried white trash American culture. No one's even taken the time to teach her how to slice an onion for chrissake, and she's too proud to admit she has no idea what she's doing. She LIKES her onions hacked into misshapen chunks with a steak knife, remember?
 

DatBepisTho

Cryptid Farmer
kiwifarms.net
She's never had wholesome, home-made food as a regular part of her diet. That's the thing. Normal food is something to be endured when you don't have the money for "real" food from Burger King.

I've said this before, but the nearest she's ever come to having actual food was living with Krystle's parents (and even then, she was making her own nasty soup abortions) and the oily slop Becky's hill clan celebrates as "meemaw's cookin'". Her tastes are 100% the product of ready-made, incredibly processed, oversalted, deep-fried white trash American culture. No one's even taken the time to teach her how to slice an onion for chrissake, and she's too proud to admit she has no idea what she's doing. She LIKES her onions hacked into misshapen chunks with a steak knife, remember?
No amount of mandatory Home Ec would fix those whitetrash disaster meals, sadly.
 
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