Chef Amberlynn and her creations - Post about her food creations or recipes here!

Tastes Like Power

lesbian bed death
kiwifarms.net
She's been cooking with water recently. Like where you and I would probably use a bit of butter or oil, she uses water. Isn't this essentially just... boiling?
It's not "recently." She always cooks with water. It amazes me that AL seems to think this negates the mounds of salt in her homecooked meals, or eating fast food & restaurant foods cooked in oils and high in calories.

edit: ninja'd
 

Sushinope

kiwifarms.net
Amberlynn needs to stop relying on dry seasonings for flavor. She needs to learn how to mince garlic and chop fresh onion. Sadly, even if she learned those skills, she’d still add way too much of both and make it inedible to most humans.
I don't think she can stand long enough to cut up fresh ingredients or her pig trotters are too clumsy and she just wants to devour what she cooks immediately instead of waiting for flavors to develop. Also her addiction to salt , she'd never give up her dry seasonings for fresh stuff that require work.
 

Whatthefuck

kiwifarms.net
Amberlynn needs to stop relying on dry seasonings for flavor. She needs to learn how to mince garlic and chop fresh onion. Sadly, even if she learned those skills, she’d still add way too much of both and make it inedible to most humans.
Go easy on her, she only just learned how to cut an onion in a relatively normal way. Mincing is a bridge too far. Here's the thing, though, she doesn't like fresh food. She just doesn't. Fresh ingredients and a logical flavor profile matters to most people because we don't eat to just eat. She'd eat cat food if there was nothing else available and swear it was sttthhooo good, guiz.
 

Moonpie

Ride the Lightening
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I've never seen a 600 lb blob not using a little olive oil or butter to season. She uses fucking water. Disgusting.
Bitch you're huge. A little Oil and butter aren't going to make a difference on your size.
Why does she use that disgusting tube meat? Why not use some lean ground beef and season it with onion while sauteing. No water. It zaps the flavor out.
Cut the onion in small bites. Not huge slices.
Hell if anything buy a pack of seasonings.
Her cooking irks the fuck out of me because I love cooking. She does it wrong.
 

JambledUpWords

Y’all are attracted to me, lez be real here
True & Honest Fan
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Her soup cooking today triggered me. No soup should look like this:
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She needs to learn how to add things in order and go easier on things like salt, onion powder, garlic salt, onions and garlic. For how much garlic she puts in her food, you’d think she was trying to ward off vampires.
 

GogglyGoblin

kiwifarms.net
She's been cooking with water recently. Like where you and I would probably use a bit of butter or oil, she uses water. Isn't this essentially just... boiling?
I cook in a wok a lot without using oil and if I get distracted and the food sticks to the wok adding a bit of water is enough to get it all moving again, I guess this is what she's trying to do but she just adds a lot of water and then drops whatever she intends to "fry" in it so I think it's just her being dumb.
 

Whatthefuck

kiwifarms.net
I cook in a wok a lot without using oil and if I get distracted and the food sticks to the wok adding a bit of water is enough to get it all moving again, I guess this is what she's trying to do but she just adds a lot of water and then drops whatever she intends to "fry" in it so I think it's just her being dumb.
Yeah, that's the thing. Firstly, she chooses the leanest meat available to cook...without oil. There is nothing wrong with a drop of olive oil when working with lean meat. I'm not sure why she prefers her stupid ground turkey for recipes that would be better with stew beef or hell, in this one even chicken would have been preferable. Secondly, as you said, she just essentially boils her meat. Get some non-stick pans if you want to avoid fat, but don't boil your meat for a soup. You want that nice fond, those little brown bits you can scrape up when you add the broth.

You know what triggers me? She's nearly 600 elbees and has never read or followed a recipe in her life. Also, she's online all day long and has never once looked at so much as a Tasty video or a cooking show. That's just fucking weird.
 

Agoraphobic Bullshit

The Town Crier and Boozehound
kiwifarms.net
I've never seen a 600 lb blob not using a little olive oil or butter to season. She uses fucking water. Disgusting.
Bitch you're huge. A little Oil and butter aren't going to make a difference on your size.
Why does she use that disgusting tube meat? Why not use some lean ground beef and season it with onion while sauteing. No water. It zaps the flavor out.
Cut the onion in small bites. Not huge slices.
Hell if anything buy a pack of seasonings.
Her cooking irks the fuck out of me because I love cooking. She does it wrong.
I never did understand the vitriol with the tube meat, since *powerlevel* I've always had beef straight from a farm and the ground beef is often plastic packaged.

Then I looked up the actual product she used and understood immediately.
 

GargoyleGorl

Token SJW
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Is there a reason why you can't use the existing thread? https://kiwifarms.net/threads/chef-amberlynn-and-her-creations.40051/
Yeah, I did mention that in the OP. Guess I should have linked it so it was harder to miss.

Anyway, to answer your question this was meant more for containing the cookery sperging than for just "lol AL can't cook". But people will use it for what they want, I guess. Or a mod will delete it and nothing of value will really be lost.
 

JambledUpWords

Y’all are attracted to me, lez be real here
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
The way Cookinglynn messes up simple recipes like cucumber boats bothers me. She’s so lazy that she didn’t even bother hollowing out the cucumber first. Then she takes half a carton of cream cheese and spreads it on there. For how much she messes up cooking, I want to see her make a cake entirely from a written recipe (no cake mix allowed). It’s not like she has a discerning palate or a desire to lose weight, so she has nothing to lose.
 

Agoraphobic Bullshit

The Town Crier and Boozehound
kiwifarms.net
The way Cookinglynn messes up simple recipes like cucumber boats bothers me. She’s so lazy that she didn’t even bother hollowing out the cucumber first. Then she takes half a carton of cream cheese and spreads it on there. For how much she messes up cooking, I want to see her make a cake entirely from a written recipe (no cake mix allowed). It’s not like she has a discerning palate or a desire to lose weight, so she has nothing to lose.
She has no idea how to handle a cucumber in the least. Recently, she put cream cheese and cucumber in an English muffin. So far, so good. Then she added a fucking sausage patty.
 

saralovesjuicyfruit

kiwifarms.net
The cooking in water thing seems to be done by two categories of people: anorexics who are so scared of extra calories that they're too afraid to take cough syrup, and fat people who feel like it makes it alright that they're going to have a way bigger portion than they should. There's this vegan food blogger who bases all her recipes around "fat free" and won't even use oil for a stir-fry, instead doing what she calls a 'stir-steam'. She's fat, too. Not ALR level fat, not even a level of fat that would catch your attention in public, but probably like 225 lbs on an average frame.
 
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