Childhood Memories -

[An Ounce of Vagina]

Inspired by the "Did Chris have a childhood" thread. Share any memories that really stick out in your mind. Funny, weird, scary, whatever.

Once when my brother and I were little (6 and 5 I think), we were at the babysitter's watching cartoons. Her toddler came into the room, walked over to a potted plant, and began to scoop out handfuls of dirt and eat them! We just looked over for a moment, then shrugged and went back to our cartoons. Later the babysitter was mad at us for some reason.

 

[The Hunter]

A lot of my childhood was spent outside. I used to live right next to Mexico on the Rio Grande, and me and the neighborhood kids used to like to play around that area. We'd fly makeshift kites and hit each other with wiffle ball bats see who could throw their rocks into Mexico, all that sort of stuff. My grandparents had a huge backyard with tons of animals (goats, chickens, peacocks, quail, dogs, ducks, geese, and they used to own horses). I'd spend a lot of my time there, feeding the animals and trying as hard as I could to run away from that fucking mallard. It'd always try to shred my face off for some reason. I hated it. Then there was the ranch where there were even more goats and more dogs. I had so many things I would do there. There was a pond for fishing, the land was coated with arrowheads, there were some abandoned vehicles and structures I'd make my way into, and then, of course, there was actual work that I could do like helping my grandfather castrate the ill-behaved goats build structures like barbecue pits and sheds, seriously, I helped my grandfather castrate a goat or two branding the goats and marking the ones that were too young to be branded, and other stuff that real ranchers do with their ranches unlike the kinds that just buy a strip of land to party and do drugs on (like the ranch I went to yesterday). Every time my grandfather would take us to the ranch, it was daytime and me and my brother would gaze at the crops and fields on the way there, and at night, we'd usually fall asleep in the truck back when it was a brand new model (I have only a few memories of being driven home in the brown Suburban I've posted here a few times), so it felt absolutely luxurious. When my dad would take us back from the ranch, we'd take off in the afternoon, and sometimes we'd go to a Dairy Queen in Zapata for ice cream (in case you were wondering why I love that chain so much, there's your answer). Since I spent all my time out there as a kid, I wanted to some day move out to a small town in the middle of nowhere, or on a ranch or something. The highways around here tend to be dead silent for some reason. And for some reason, hearing the sound of dirt and rocks being pushed around by tires or seeing a huge cloud of dust as someone arrives makes it a lot more exciting when company comes over. I wish we still had that ranch. Now that I can drive, I'd explore as much of that land as I could, even if there were bear and bobcat sightings there.

And before you start saying, "Red, I thought you were a lower middle class slob! How could you afford a big fat Texan ranch," the land was 1/6th of an area that was granted to my grandmother's parents by the King of Spain. When my great grandparents finished raising their kids, they divided the land so their 4 children would get a piece, and 2/6ths of the land would be sold. We lost the ranch when my grandfather put up my grandmother's land as collateral, and the bank took it without as much as giving him a warning (it's a very attractive piece of property, and the bank really couldn't wait to get their hands on it). There's apparently going to be a huge case over it because my grandfather wants it back, and he's going to sue the shit out of them when he gets the money (it's kind of sort of illegal to take someone's land without warning, even if that's how America was made).

 

[Stratochu]

A lot of my childhood was spent outside. I used to live right next to Mexico on the Rio Grande, and me and the neighborhood kids used to like to play around that area. We'd fly makeshift kites and hit each other with wiffle ball bats see who could throw their rocks into Mexico, all that sort of stuff. My grandparents had a huge backyard with tons of animals (goats, chickens, peacocks, quail, dogs, ducks, geese, and they used to own horses). I'd spend a lot of my time there, feeding the animals and trying as hard as I could to run away from that fucking mallard. It'd always try to shred my face off for some reason. I hated it. Then there was the ranch where there were even more goats and more dogs. I had so many things I would do there. There was a pond for fishing, the land was coated with arrowheads, there were some abandoned vehicles and structures I'd make my way into, and then, of course, there was actual work that I could do like helping my grandfather castrate the ill-behaved goats build structures like barbecue pits and sheds, seriously, I helped my grandfather castrate a goat or two branding the goats and marking the ones that were too young to be branded, and other stuff that real ranchers do with their ranches unlike the kinds that just buy a strip of land to party and do drugs on (like the ranch I went to yesterday). Every time my grandfather would take us to the ranch, it was daytime and me and my brother would gaze at the crops and fields on the way there, and at night, we'd usually fall asleep in the truck back when it was a brand new model (I have only a few memories of being driven home in the brown Suburban I've posted here a few times), so it felt absolutely luxurious. When my dad would take us back from the ranch, we'd take off in the afternoon, and sometimes we'd go to a Dairy Queen in Zapata for ice cream (in case you were wondering why I love that chain so much, there's your answer). Since I spent all my time out there as a kid, I wanted to some day move out to a small town in the middle of nowhere, or on a ranch or something. The highways around here tend to be dead silent for some reason. And for some reason, hearing the sound of dirt and rocks being pushed around by tires or seeing a huge cloud of dust as someone arrives makes it a lot more exciting when company comes over. I wish we still had that ranch. Now that I can drive, I'd explore as much of that land as I could, even if there were bear and bobcat sightings there.

And before you start saying, "Red, I thought you were a lower middle class slob! How could you afford a big fat Texan ranch," the land was 1/6th of an area that was granted to my grandmother's parents by the King of Spain. When my great grandparents finished raising their kids, they divided the land so their 4 children would get a piece, and 2/6ths of the land would be sold. We lost the ranch when my grandfather put up my grandmother's land as collateral, and the bank took it without as much as giving him a warning (it's a very attractive piece of property, and the bank really couldn't wait to get their MANOS on it). There's apparently going to be a huge case over it because my grandfather wants it back, and he's going to sue the shit out of them when he gets the money (it's kind of sort of illegal to take someone's land without warning, even if that's how America was made).

Can't tell if trolling or serious.

 

[pickleniggo]

My brain is broken this morning and all I can think of right now is how - when I was about six or seven - I spent an entire afternoon shooting wasps with a hose. We had this really small, ugly tree that was absolutely infested with yellow jackets. I hated them because this tree was right next to our deck and they made life miserable at barbeques, so I thought I was doing my family a favor. Nothing even came of this, I don't even think I killed any, and a few years later we got rid of that tree.

 

[The Hunter]

Can't tell if trolling or serious.

You should know that I'm usually as serious as Elton John.

But yeah, I had a pretty colorful childhood.

 

[Stratochu]

Can't tell if trolling or serious.

You should know that I'm usually as serious as Elton John.

But yeah, I had a pretty colorful childhood.

LOL, I was just messing around. My childhood was like a toned-down version of "Malcolm In The Middle".

 

[cypocraphy]

One of my earliest memories is when I was 4 years old. I remember walking along the shore with my Dad during sunset and we saw a dead sand shark . I poked it with a piece of wood.

 

[Dark Mirror Hole]

My earliest memory would have to be when I was a baby looking up at a ceiling light with a dead fly in it.

 

[Bob's Fries]

I had a similar childhood to OPL up to age 7 (as I ate flies because I thought I was a frog). That's when my parents went full hard-on Asian Spergs about grades and shit. But they never really raised me much except just focus on grades. It's pretty much the internet that raised me.

 

[captkrisma]

My memories were all pretty abusive tbh. My father telling me to my face that I was too small and short to be an athlete or a soldier (both of which were proven wrong), and my mother physically abusing me by choking me one time and threatening me with a knife on another occasion.

That and my Great Uncle Ralph, who took so much PCP and LSD in his teens that he still thinks Nazis are after him.

 

[GFYS]

Most of my childhood memories aren't all too cheerful, either. My oldest verifiable memory is from just after my 6th birthday. However, I seem to have problems with long term memory. I can clearly remember stuff before age 6, but I'm fully aware that most of these events didn't happen as I remember them or never happened at all. I actually have clear memories that are impossibly older than I am, and even more absurd memories, which would regularly fade in and out when I was on medications. Fortunately, I only seem to lose older memories at the same rate I age (though this may change).

My oldest GOOD memory was having Japanese umeboshi onigiri at an adult neighbor's birthday party. Good stuff!

 

[MY 405]

My childhood memories are full of Kodachrome film and instamatic cameras -- these are now Hispter kewl apps for your iphone... Basically my childhood was like a cross between "Duck Dynasty" and "Arrested Development".

 

[KawaiiChrisChan]

I grew up in a military family. My father worked Security Forces in the Air Force, and my mother was an optician's assistant, on base. After I was born, we were stationed on Kadena AFB in Okinawa Japan. We lived there for the first 6 years of my life, and boy was it awesome. I grew up around all the other base children, but I took more of an interest in the Japanese locals. Being a red head, the locals would always touch my hair for luck and tell my parents that I must have the spirit of a "kijimuna". Which is a like a mischievous tree dwelling sprite/elf, thing with red hair and a big head. (I fit the description perfectly they said) I remember going to some of the SUPER FUCKING AWESOME PARKS that they had!

Spoiler

They know what kids love, and that's climbing shit!

I was able to find some pictures of some of the park equipment that I would visit a lot.

Spoiler

Spoiler

Spoiler

Being 5 was pretty much the highlight of my life. Everything was a mystery waiting to be solved. Good times. :mrgreen:

 

[bradsternum]

I remember being breastfed. I was fifteen.

(Joke)

Seriously, though, I have memories of being three, and pulling earwigs into two halves because I was fascinated by how they could still run around in pieces for a little while. Children are sick.

 

[pickleniggo]

Officially jealous of KawaiiChrisChan's childhood.

 

[GFYS]

I remember going to some of the SUPER FUCKING AWESOME PARKS that they had!

OMFG, yes, they had some of the greatest amusement parks and playgrounds... All of which would be considered "unsafe" or even "deadly" by North American pussbag standards. I don't scare easy, but I remember two amusement rides that dangled you off the side of high-rise buildings in Yokohama that scared me half to death. As a kid, I was scared of the huge drop-off. In hindsight, I should have been more worried about how sketchy the construction looked. I remember also hearing it was a childhood rite of passage to have scars from the unusually tall all-metal playground equipment.

 

[KawaiiChrisChan]

I remember going to some of the SUPER FUCKING AWESOME PARKS that they had!

OMFG, yes, they had some of the greatest amusement parks and playgrounds... All of which would be considered "unsafe" or even "deadly" by North American pussbag standards. I don't scare easy, but I remember two amusement rides that dangled you off the side of high-rise buildings in Yokohama that scared me half to death. As a kid, I was scared of the huge drop-off. In hindsight, I should have been more worried about how sketchy the construction looked. I remember also hearing it was a childhood rite of passage to have scars from the unusually tall all-metal playground equipment.

You're right. I got a scar on my left cheek from climbing an old Shisa dog statue.

It kind of looked like this, except there was two of them standing upright, with a bridge going across the heads of the Shisa.

 

[Night Terror]

This brings back nothing but memories. No sound is more nostalgic for me. Not even a joke.

 

[hm yeah]

I didn't have a really happy childhood due to an alcoholic dad, a mom that had something wrong with her (gargantuan asshole syndrome, I guess - seems to run in her family)(( plain ol' batshit crazy runs in my dad's side) but living in AK made things better. My fondest childhood memories involved just going out on field trips to the tundras or a place where you could get a closer look at the pointy mountains you always see in the distance.

the first gaming console I had was an N64, and I still have and love that thing. Cleaning it out and cleaning all of the games made it seem fresh and new, and the graphics sharper and brighter! And no more static pops! I have a weird obsession with the whole idea of primitive 3D and that sort of "virtual reality" (even though I guess it's not proper VR) - as you can see from my sig down there. Also had a recorded VHS which I almost wore entirely out - search on Youtube for "Computer Dreams". The good version - one piece, not two pieces on MTV, is what I have here, but in amazing quality. God bless whoever put it up! also had faint childhood memories of a similar video thing called "Elroy's Toy". Over a decade later, I bought a good copy from the internet. There's a crappy version of it on Youtube last I checked. and just look at the "Beyond the Mind's Eye" and similar videos. those weren't in my childhood, but boy they give me some pretty strong emotions.

Anyway, Ocarina of Time really, really influenced me when I was a little kid (and today) - so in summer my brother and I would run around with sticks and pretend they were swords, and we'd look for dungeons and temples in the forest. there was a really creepy burnt-out house. Good times.

 

[KawaiiChrisChan]

Anyway, Ocarina of Time really, really influenced me when I was a little kid (and today) - so in summer my brother and I would run around with sticks and pretend they were swords, and we'd look for dungeons and temples in the forest. there was a really creepy burnt-out house. Good times.

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Ocarina had an effect on us all.