Choose Your Own Guntventure - Write one sentence to continue the saga of the Gunt Retort.

[soy_king]

It was late afternoon when Ethan awoke from under the pyramid of empty bottles of Maker's Mark and his mother's medication.

 

[Retrodogkiller]

He spotted a lone, unopened four loko on May's table flat chest. "Perfect way to start the morning" he thought to himself crawling out from beneath the depths of last night's bottles.

 

[Randy Lahey]

As he chugged the four loko, he thought it might be a fine day to venture forth into the city in search of some delicious garbage juice infused hamburgers.

 

[soy_king]

Just as he was about to open the door to leave, however, he heard a muffled vibration coming from somewhere behind him.

 

[Mundane Ralph]

To Ethan's surprise, it was the sound of his forgotten brother Evan's wheelchair.

 

[AlexiTheTrucker]

Memories came flooding back of Ronnie Ralph screaming, "I should have had you aborted!" at Evan while Ronnie was raw dogging Ethan.

 

[AgriDrThunder]

His asshole puckered as the echoes of butt rapes past washed over him like a massive Tsunami's wave, he began to sweat.

 

[WhimsicalTrolli]

To shake off the memories Ethan stretched, exposing the Gunt from his cheap fabric Killstream shirt that nobody bought "Ronnie?!? What the fuck!" He asked his retarded Brother.

 

[FM Bradley]

"Hey, g...gg...Gunt," Evan struggled to spit out slowly, "How's your lotion working?"

 

[Mundane Ralph]

"It's really helped cut down the rotten sourdough smell from the yeast growing in my folds; I just wish it did something about the smell from the alcohol sweats.", he replied.

 

[kh0st]

"And the smell from your taint ... Does it still smell of canned octopus?" Inquired Evan

 

[TriggerMeElmo]

"IT'S NAWT TROO" replied Ethan. Firmly frustrated, he looked down at his KiwiFarms thread and then took a swig of his Coca Cola bottle that was mixed with Maker's. "Gator, handle these callers" he said while realizing he wasn't even on air.

 

[Randy Lahey]

Suddenly, the Force Ghost of Gator (who had suck started a shotgun when he realized that Ethan would never love him back) appeared before him.

 

[WhimsicalTrolli]

Ethan Shouted "GAYDUR?!?!" the force of the oldfag appeared behind him, which could have been a hallucination of a binge saying "hey buddy. Get help."

 

[Fromtheblackdepths]

"Which is what's going happen in the next few hours, you're going to be visited by three spirits."

 

[Cucktry Roads]

Ethan shook his head, trying to clear his head as this was a usual effect of the hangover he'd get from mixing whiskey, coke, and xannon.

 

[Crystal Golem]

"A bit of undigested pills perhaps, nothing more." Ralph consoled himself as he sunk back down into Maker's induced slumber all the while the clock on the wall ticked into the late hours.

 

[Cat Phuckers]

Ralph's rest was soon interrupted once more as the trademark West Memphis gang shootouts awoke him from his deep Maker's Mark-induced slumber. His head perked up and he saw a ghostly faceless man standing over the side of his leaky water mattress. The mystery man, a mere specter of a cheerful and nostalgic past, sported a baseball cap with four white stars and one gray star. His voice was a lot more gravelly than Ralph remembered, although Jim probably noticed the same in Ralph. The both of them had changed so much since they'd last seen each other all those years ago.
Ralph, with tears streaming down his greasy red cheeks, in an almost infantile voice shouted "Daddy Jim? Is that you? You've finally returned from the gas station after all these years with those cigarettes you love so much? I'm so glad to see you... I always knew you'd come back father."
Jim's face remained foreboding and stone-cold, as if he was not there to catch up with Ralph, but instead to be the bearer of rather unpleasant news.

 

[MeltyTW]

Jim put his hand on the side of Ethan's disconcertingly massive head, and sliding into the greasy newspaper blanket with ethan craned his head to his ear and whispered "just call me papa ronnie ralph, dont fight it" with his thumb poised menacingly above ethan's rosebud.

 

[FM Bradley]

Thinking quickly, Ethan stammered, "Uh..b-but WAIT A MINUTE, JIM, NOOOOO...you have to read superchats first...right?"