Choose Your Own Guntventure - Write one sentence to continue the saga of the Gunt Retort.

[WhimsicalTrolli]

Lame shook his head and he pushed the gunt and said "let me show you what your missing out being a drunk." He tapped his gunt and showed van der taking his first steps to....Andy Warski. Andy has cleaned up and became a good dad and a son in law that Matt Vickers would be proud of.

 

[instythot]

And with that, the ghosts of Rand and Sargon's unborn children appeared above Warski and stated "without you as a father Ethan Ralph, Young Xander will be the first child of a streamer with a chance at life"

 

[FM Bradley]

"...f...FAWK YEAH, look at my ...k...ki...ki...BABY," Andy stammered, holding the baby out for the Gunt to behold--before suddenly stumbling and dropping the child on its head.

 

[WhimsicalTrolli]

Gunt screamed "NOOOO!!" And he woke up outside of an arbys, panting heavily and he ate a trash burger to calm his nerves and he stretched loudly "THATS NAWT TRUUUUU".

 

[FM Bradley]

"Waitaminit," Gunt whispered, realizing it had all been a dream, "Mah baybuh's deyed? MUH BAYBUH DAAHED?!? YEEEEEHAW EVERYONE, MAH BAYBUH DIED! THAT LITTLE CAWKSUCKIN' PIECE OF SHIT FUGGIN' DAAAAHD! IT'S A GUNTSMAS MIRACLE!! A FAIR AN' NOBLE COMPRIMISE FROM OUR LORD AN' SAAAVIOR JESUS CH--"

Suddenly, the Gunt heard the gentle jingle of a sack of rare coins...

 

[instythot]

Gonzalo Lira was also behind the Arby's, desperately trying to convince women a third of his age that the coins he got in his change were rare collectibles.

 

[naught]

Behind an Arbys In an alcoholic stupor Ethan Ralph smiled at the Arbys wrapper, "I'll sign my name in cum on this wrapper, do you even know who I am?" Ralph bloviated picking a burger out of the bin and taking a bite.

Out of the corner of his eye folds Ethan Ralph spotted the body of a dead hooker, he had taken the life of a lady of the night.
The guilt manifested in the form of a dream of the demon baby dying.
"Even when I'm dead, this'll continue weather I want it or not. I'm going to own these alogs." Ethan said as he instinctively waited for gator to respond

 

[World Star]

But there was no response for Ethan was all alone.
However in the distance he could he the sounds of sirens blaring and he knew that he would no longer be alone for much longer.

 

[Shakka Ahmose]

Out of options, Ralph tried to come up with a solution. He pondered for a few minutes and decided the best course of action was to play dead so that the cops would leave him alone.

 

[instythot]

"Jesus Christ, Baked, you sure got fat" announced Sammi

 

[Shakka Ahmose]

Ralph is then awaken by the sound of Sami and let out a large "it's naaaaawwwwwt truuuuuuuuueee".

 

[TwoDollarPeePeePooPoo]

Meth pipes, trash burgers and bottles of bottom shelf whiskey started spilling out of Ethan’s pockets. An entire month’s worth of lemons was spoiled.

 

[Blackh0le]

Ralph looked in horror as he realized his reserve beer pack was missing from the fridge,meaning he'd have to go outside and buy more alcohol...

 

[instythot]

While living in his mother's crack shack, Ethan had learned that he was unable to ask if the delivery driver knew who he was, and that who he was would inevitably be leaked to the local antifa. Unfortunately for Ethan this meant that he needed to get his own liquor in these coofing times.

 

[Shakka Ahmose]

Ethan got into his Nissan and went to the local liquor store owned by the Arabs that don't like him. As Ethan entered the store, the owner laid eyes upon Ethan and could immediately tell that he was going to do something very dumb.

 

[High Tea]

After checking to make sure the ammo was close at hand and the cops were on speed dial, the owner braced himself for what certainly would be the worst customer of the day.

 

[Boulder Dash]

When the black female cop entered the scene, she found Ethan collapsed in a pile of cheap thai blend malt; "he's sleeping madam'", yelled the arab shop owner, "don't touch him, he's a bad man, really bad man"; Shante'y take the 9mm Glock out of its holster "God, please help me".

 

[Randy Lahey]

While he was passed out, some kids walked into the liquor store and stole Ralph’s wallet. As he woke up, he now knew that he might have to do some greasy shit in order to get liquor money.

 

[TwoDollarPeePeePooPoo]

“It’s not troooooo” Ralph yelled as he awoke from his slumber. The startled policewoman panicked and let off several rounds into the gunt. Unfortunately, they had no effect on Ethan as they bounced right off and ricocheted around the room. Both the police and the arab fled in terror out of the store as bullets bounced off the walls, ceilings, floor and back off the gunt.

 

[thismanlies]

When the commotion died down, Ralph heard a voice call to him. "It's me Ethan, your Gunt. I have protected you with my satanic powers."