Angrypaperplateman
kiwifarms.net
I just want to start this off by saying Chris isn't going to die, at all. Yes he is in atrocious health, but the fact he isn't dead already from his eating habits shows his body has a high metabolism and can put up a strong fight. Now what Chris's diet consists of is readily available on the CWCki, but what isn't readily available is his calorie intake, i'm 99% sure none of you want to dissect every goddamn meal Chris eats and look up the calories in each one, so i'm here to do it for you, so you can all feel better about yourselves for about 5 minutes.
Just FYI the maximum calorie intake that a male of 200 LBS and 5"10 should have is 2358 calories..
Breakfast:
From what I know on the CWCki, he usually doesn't eat breakfast, due to his atrocious sleeping habits, however on the occasion that he does, he will most likely go to Mcdonalds. Now Mcdonalds breakfast items have around the same calories so this should be easy to calculate. Now I know Chris isn't just getting an egg burger from Mcdonalds because he is a gigantic glutton, so let's be nice and add only ONE hashbrown and a soft drink to his breakfast.
Mcdonalds breakfast sandwiches are anywhere from 300-450 calories, i'm going to go for 450 because there is no way Chris is getting the healthier option, lets go with the Bacon, Egg & Cheese Biscuit, which is exactly 450 calories. Let's throw in the hash brown, which is 150 calories, and the soft drink, let's say it's just a coke, which is 150 calories. Chris has just consumed 750 calories for breakfast.
Lunch:
Chris will either eat a TV dinner for lunch, or go to Mcdonalds. If he eats a tv dinner for supper, let's just assume he's eating a hungry man tv dinner. My reasoning behind this is:
1. The packaging is designed to trick fat fucks like Chris into buying it (making it look delicious)
2. They are cheap
Hungry man tv dinners almost always contain a whopping 970 CALORIES! per meal.
Now lets say he's eating at Mcdonalds for lunch, let's say he gets a big mac, and some fries with a soft drink. The big mac is 540 calories, the fries are 230 calories, and the soft drink, as we discussed earlier is 150 calories, this puts Chris at 920 CALORIES!
Either he eats at Mcdonalds or not, it puts him above 900 calories.
Dinner:
Pretty much the same as lunch according to the Cwcki, so let's just say around 900 calories.
SNACKS
Chris being a glutton is a known consumer of snacks, no shit. However his snack choices are atrocious, for example, his butter beer monstrosity.
I calculated every ingredient following those exact measurements to find out the calories of this rather small cup of butter beer, the result is a whopping 650 CALORIES.
All in all, this puts Chris at 3240 for the day, that isn't even including all the soda and snacks he probably consumes throughout the day.
Remember, the maximum calorie intake for somebody of his size should be 2358 calories.
Not even bodybuilders who have to eat a crazy amount of food to maintain their body weight eat as much calories as Chris casually does in one day, I can't say i'm worried for Chris because he's obviously not dead or morbidly obese, but he's definitely going to have all this junk catch up to him in his late 70's.
Considering he lets his poop just "fall out" i'd say this is why.
Just FYI the maximum calorie intake that a male of 200 LBS and 5"10 should have is 2358 calories..
Breakfast:
From what I know on the CWCki, he usually doesn't eat breakfast, due to his atrocious sleeping habits, however on the occasion that he does, he will most likely go to Mcdonalds. Now Mcdonalds breakfast items have around the same calories so this should be easy to calculate. Now I know Chris isn't just getting an egg burger from Mcdonalds because he is a gigantic glutton, so let's be nice and add only ONE hashbrown and a soft drink to his breakfast.
Mcdonalds breakfast sandwiches are anywhere from 300-450 calories, i'm going to go for 450 because there is no way Chris is getting the healthier option, lets go with the Bacon, Egg & Cheese Biscuit, which is exactly 450 calories. Let's throw in the hash brown, which is 150 calories, and the soft drink, let's say it's just a coke, which is 150 calories. Chris has just consumed 750 calories for breakfast.
Lunch:
Chris will either eat a TV dinner for lunch, or go to Mcdonalds. If he eats a tv dinner for supper, let's just assume he's eating a hungry man tv dinner. My reasoning behind this is:
1. The packaging is designed to trick fat fucks like Chris into buying it (making it look delicious)
2. They are cheap
Hungry man tv dinners almost always contain a whopping 970 CALORIES! per meal.
Now lets say he's eating at Mcdonalds for lunch, let's say he gets a big mac, and some fries with a soft drink. The big mac is 540 calories, the fries are 230 calories, and the soft drink, as we discussed earlier is 150 calories, this puts Chris at 920 CALORIES!
Either he eats at Mcdonalds or not, it puts him above 900 calories.
Dinner:
Pretty much the same as lunch according to the Cwcki, so let's just say around 900 calories.
SNACKS
Chris being a glutton is a known consumer of snacks, no shit. However his snack choices are atrocious, for example, his butter beer monstrosity.
I calculated every ingredient following those exact measurements to find out the calories of this rather small cup of butter beer, the result is a whopping 650 CALORIES.
All in all, this puts Chris at 3240 for the day, that isn't even including all the soda and snacks he probably consumes throughout the day.
Remember, the maximum calorie intake for somebody of his size should be 2358 calories.
Not even bodybuilders who have to eat a crazy amount of food to maintain their body weight eat as much calories as Chris casually does in one day, I can't say i'm worried for Chris because he's obviously not dead or morbidly obese, but he's definitely going to have all this junk catch up to him in his late 70's.
Considering he lets his poop just "fall out" i'd say this is why.
