Chris and hookers. -

[CharlesBarkley]

Anyone know if Chris still pays for sex? On his budget and mom, I doubt it. If he does though, there has to be some pretty entertaining stories there. Like when he gave that fruit basket or whatever to his first whore, the reaction must have been priceless. I can imagine him renting the same hooker twice, asking her out after an awkward and miserable session and having his heart level drop to zero afterwards when she breaks the honest truth level.

Of couse he would do in-calls due to barb and his home, but I wonder if he would be addicted or not and is blowing all his free cash on sex.

 

[Marvin]

Nah, Chris doesn't care enough to regularly patronize hookers. He liked it, but was it worth $200 for regular sessions? Not to Chris.

 

[Batman VS Tony Danza]

Nah, Chris doesn't care enough to regularly patronize hookers. He liked it, but was it worth $200 for regular sessions? Not to Chris.

200 bucks? Jesus. That sounds like an hourly rate. The remaining 59 minutes must have been awkward.

 

[Picklepower]

That's kinda weird that Barb was cool with the hooker thing, maybe she was tired of him crying about being a virgin.

 

[Fibonacci]

That's kinda weird that Barb was cool with the hooker thing, maybe she was tired of him crying about being a virgin.

Wait, what?

 

[Picklepower]

Was she cool with it? she knew right?

 

[Marvin]

Nah, Chris doesn't care enough to regularly patronize hookers. He liked it, but was it worth $200 for regular sessions? Not to Chris.

200 bucks? Jesus. That sounds like an hourly rate. The remaining 59 minutes must have been awkward.

Heh, well, I don't remember the specific price. But I think Chris paid for an hour, whatever he did end up paying. When Chris kept ranting about not wanting to have to see a "$100 hooker" to the wallflower, that was a price he pulled out of nowhere, not an actual potential price.

That's kinda weird that Barb was cool with the hooker thing, maybe she was tired of him crying about being a virgin.

Don't think she knew about it.

 

[Cute Anime Girl]

That's kinda weird that Barb was cool with the hooker thing, maybe she was tired of him crying about being a virgin.

Barb complains about Chris playing games with violence in them. I really don't think she'd be okay with the whole hooker thing if she knew.

 

[soIregistered]

If Barb didn't know about the hooker, she must have no idea how to look at Chris's FB when he posted about "She said my duck was so big and good". And he must have no actual real-life friends on FB who would have told her.

 

[MrTroll]

I can't see how she wouldn't know. I really can't. She micromanages every aspect of his life to the point where he's not allowed to be in his own bedroom unattended, but he'd be able to set up an "appointment" with a prostitute, slip away for an hour and do the deed, then brag about it on Facebook and Twitter without her finding out?

 

[Thetan]

Nah, Chris doesn't care enough to regularly patronize hookers. He liked it, but was it worth $200 for regular sessions? Not to Chris.

200 bucks? Jesus. That sounds like an hourly rate. The remaining 59 minutes must have been awkward.

Heh, well, I don't remember the specific price. But I think Chris paid for an hour, whatever he did end up paying. When Chris kept ranting about not wanting to have to see a "$100 hooker" to the wallflower, that was a price he pulled out of nowhere, not an actual potential price.

That's kinda weird that Barb was cool with the hooker thing, maybe she was tired of him crying about being a virgin.

Don't think she knew about it.

I would imagine that she'd charge extra for someone like Chris.

Did he have his sexy time with the hooker at her home or in a hotel/motel room? If it was at her home, I'd imagine she'd want to burn her sheets and pillow cases afterwards. I'm not sure if any amount of washing could get out the stain of perma-grease, flop sweat, and odor of rotting watermelons and . New linens can be fairly expensive.

The other possibility is that she needed the extra money for a sufficient quantity of alcohol so that she could get good and plastered before having to subject herself to the horror of Chris and his nasty bent duck.

Whatever the circmstances, she probably had to call Cooter Rooter afterwards. I'm sure used a condom but still - Eeeeeeeew!

Didn't someone say that they got some kind of reaction from him touching them. (I don't remember the details.)

 

[Tubular Monkey]

I imagine hookers see much, much worse things than Chris. (See, Chris, I compliment you.)

 

[Marvin]

If Barb didn't know about the hooker, she must have no idea how to look at Chris's FB when he posted about "She said my duck was so big and good". And he must have no actual real-life friends on FB who would have told her.

Nah, Barb doesn't have access to Chris' facebook. All of his facebook friends are IRL friends (or were introduced to Chris via IRL friends). They just didn't bother to tell Barb about him fucking a hooker.

I can't see how she wouldn't know. I really can't. She micromanages every aspect of his life to the point where he's not allowed to be in his own bedroom unattended, but he'd be able to set up an "appointment" with a prostitute, slip away for an hour and do the deed, then brag about it on Facebook and Twitter without her finding out?

She does that stuff now. Plus she doesn't have access to any of Chris' internet stuff.

 

[KatsuKitty]

To Chris, having sex was a secondary effect of his burning desire to lose his virginity. He wanted to be a non-virgin far more than he actually wanted sex.

That's my guess on why he doesn't keep going back, anyway. He's not a virgin anymore, the WORST THING EVAR for a straight man. If he had the option to buy false memories of sex Total Recall style, that wouldn't be good enough because he would still be a virgin.

 

[Thetan]

I imagine hookers see much, much worse things than Chris. (See, Chris, I compliment you.)

My reaction of horror at the idea of someone having sex with Chris may have something to do with my being female. In addition to the less than desirable attributes I mentioned in my previous post, I find him incredibly creepy. I remember watching the 'For J-R's eyes only video. It made my skin crawl.

A big part of it is his voice. When they played clips of the Ivy video on WBCN, women were calling up and making similar remarks: and that was just based on his voice. They were saying things like 'my lady parts just stapled themselves shut'... etc. etc. etc. When Chris makes an attempt at dirty talk, it comes out somewhere between hilarious and creepy. (The infamous video is a case in point.)

Anyway, I guess we'll never know if Chris is the worst/nastiest/dirtiest/smelliest/creepiest John she ever serviced, since nobody has been able to locate her. Now that would be an interesting Q and A session!

 

[Marvin]

To Chris, having sex was a secondary effect of his burning desire to lose his virginity. He wanted to be a non-virgin far more than he actually wanted sex.

That's my guess on why he doesn't keep going back, anyway. He's not a virgin anymore, the WORST THING EVAR for a straight man. If he had the option to buy false memories of sex Total Recall style, that wouldn't be good enough because he would still be a virgin.

Well, I guess he cared a little about losing his virginity. But primarily, he was worrying about dying a virgin.

And really, like I said, he enjoyed himself. It just wasn't $200 a session enjoyment.

 

[PickleTron7000]

Anyway, I guess we'll never know if Chris is the worst/nastiest/dirtiest/smelliest/creepiest John she ever serviced, since nobody has been able to locate her. Now that would be an interesting Q and A session!

No. No it wouldn't.

 

[_blank_]

The oddest thing is - and this is completely unsubstantiated bullshit on me and my deranged mind's part - is I can somehow see Barb arranging up the whole sexual exchange for Chris.

It doesn't make any sense, but all the same, considering how off-the-cuff the entire situation at 14BLC is, it seems plausible that before the court hearing, Barb would arrange the tryst for her soon-to-be jailbird son. It feels almost perfectly natural, in the off-kilter not-all-there Chandler way to imagine Barb sitting in the car in a Motel parking lot, eating her q-sands while her son is just a few meters away, getting his rocks off with whatever girl she could pay for him. After the event, the two quietly drive home, making idle chatter about the upcoming court case.

Yeah... sometimes I wonder if I need therapy...

 

[Marvin]

Barb is crazy enough to do lots of things for Chris. She didn't arrange Chris' hooker meetup. But while I think she's crazy enough to do it, I don't see her having a reason to do it.

 

[Sakamoto]

Barb is crazy enough to do lots of things for Chris. She didn't arrange Chris' hooker meetup. But while I think she's crazy enough to do it, I don't see her having a reason to do it.

You could buy a lot of stuff at Goodwill for that kind of money.