Chris banned from 2 Mcdonalds

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DangDirtyTrolls

The man in the pickle suit tricked me once again
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CalmMyTits said:
I was just thinking... given Chris' tweets about Barb's holey ass and such, and what the other poster said about Chris smelling bad (animal urine is likely a contributing factor to that) this likely suggests that Barb doesn't wash Chris' dirty crapped briefs anymore. So Chris has to do this duty himself, and if what the other poster said is indeed true, then he is not even doing that, or doing it minimally (washing it in the sink, for example) which would not really make it clean especially as we know how lazy he is. So you have the miasma of shit, sweat, BO, grease, animal urine, and AXE mixed all together. Yeah, people would get sick from smelling that.
I never even considered this. I don't see why Chris would bother to clean his clothes if he can't be fucked to shower regularly or do any other chores around the house. The smell he emits must be absolutely phenomenal, he's got to be smellable from a distance at this point.

Chris really needs to learn that good hygiene is the most basic cornerstone of socialising. Nobody, absolutely fucking nobody, is going to go up to someone they can smell from 10 feet away and start up a conversation. You could be the most charismatic individual on the planet, but if you stink then people won't want to be around you. Even wild animals clean themselves.
 

CalmMyTits

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People who live in their own filth get numb to how they smell. I shower and brush my teeth regularly, and use deodorant, so if I start smelling ripe after a long day that included a workout or a hike or some other physical activity, or my breath starts smelling after eating something heavy in onions or garlic, I know it. Heck, I take a shower even when I don't smell bad, and brush my teeth every day whether I eat something 'smelly' or not because that's the point of maintenance, to take care of things BEFORE they become an issue. This is not a difficult task for me to accomplish, nor is it for any other normal person. I thought I was low-maintenance (I don't like makeup and dresses and etc) and then I look at Chris and he's just... ZERO maintenance.

Apparently Barb has also gotten numb to the smell, you would have to be pretty numb to not notice the smell of animal piss or your own greasy, BO-laden, shit-ridden offspring, so I am sure that spooning with her son doesn't arouse the same sort of revulsion that any of us would get from smelling him from 10 feet away.
 

PrimeCutDiggityDog

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CalmMyTits said:
Apparently Barb has also gotten numb to the smell, you would have to be pretty numb to not notice the smell of animal piss or your own greasy, BO-laden, shit-ridden offspring, so I am sure that spooning with her son doesn't arouse the same sort of revulsion that any of us would get from smelling him from 10 feet away.

I'm curious how much more trash has accumulated in that house since the house tour videos.
 

The Dude

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CalmMyTits said:
People who live in their own filth get numb to how they smell. I shower and brush my teeth regularly, and use deodorant, so if I start smelling ripe after a long day that included a workout or a hike or some other physical activity, or my breath starts smelling after eating something heavy in onions or garlic, I know it. Heck, I take a shower even when I don't smell bad, and brush my teeth every day whether I eat something 'smelly' or not because that's the point of maintenance, to take care of things BEFORE they become an issue. This is not a difficult task for me to accomplish, nor is it for any other normal person. I thought I was low-maintenance (I don't like makeup and dresses and etc) and then I look at Chris and he's just... ZERO maintenance.

Apparently Barb has also gotten numb to the smell, you would have to be pretty numb to not notice the smell of animal piss or your own greasy, BO-laden, shit-ridden offspring, so I am sure that spooning with her son doesn't arouse the same sort of revulsion that any of us would get from smelling him from 10 feet away.

The term is Anosmia, sometimes jokingly called "nose-deafness".
 

Zero Gun: Fenrir

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EWWWWWW!!!!! So, he would smell like BO, grease, ammonia (the byproduct of the decay of animal urine), fecal matter, sweat, and AXE? AXE wasn't particularly good smelling in the first place, but add all that in, and I'm sure you've got an indescribable odor that I really can't describe off of the top of my head. Ewwww. I'm going to go vomit my guts out, and pray that the wind doesn't blow his stench from Ruckersville to Austin. I may buy a gas mask, Eau de Chris could become the next chemical WMD.
 

Zero Gun: Fenrir

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snowkitten91 said:
Stink bombs would smell like flowers when compared to 14BLC by this point in time.
I'm sure they would, especially considering that they smell like sulfur. Not Eau de Chris.
 

aspirin

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Stratochu said:
Pikimon said:
bungholio said:
It doesn't get anymore white trash than being banned from Wal-Mart and McDonald's. Just think about the idea of that...

It'd be more white trash if he would have been banned from Goodwill on top of that.
I have seen 2 thrift store bans in the time I've lived here. One time it was an older Native American lady who threw a fit about not taking tags out before she tried clothes on, had a Chris-chan style tantrum, and stomped out of the store. She pulled out of the parking lot like a bat out of hell in a Chevy Corsica in similar shape to Google Street View-era Son-Chu, and was supposedly permabanned from all locations of Lane & South Coast Counties Goodwill stores. (I wonder if she was Cherokian? There are more Navajo, Lakota Sioux and Paiute here than the indigenous Northwest Coast tribes in Oregon, not many Cherokians :julay: )

The second was a weeaboo trying to return some mangas she presumably got at a garage sale to St. Vincent DePaul, she went full retard and was banned from all locations of St. Vincent DePaul thrift stores, food banks and social-service centers in Oregon for life and wound up in jail for disorderly conduct and malicious property damage. There was a Lane County Sheriff's Office homicide detective in uniform there who watched the whole thing, and that's how she got arrested.
weeaboo story please
 

BurtyDrappedCreifs

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Zero Gun: Fenrir said:
AXE wasn't particularly good smelling in the first place

I wonder if AXE's popularity took a serious hit after it became known that Chris was a loyal user? Seems it became known as the "body spray of losers" around the same time as Chris' "endorsement" came out.

(don't tell me otherwise, please. I'd like to think that Chris' awfulness is capable of destroying brand names simply from his endorsement)


Oh, and let's not forget how Chris thought he was so powerful that he could dictate (in his bathrobe, no less!) at Unilever, a major international corporation, to ban sales of AXE to anyone who was gay.

[youtube]uKQctHJ71hA[/youtube]
 

José Mourinho

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If AXE's popularity will take a serious hit because of Chris, I think The Coca-Cola Company will take the hit even worse because of the Orange Fanta.
 

BurtyDrappedCreifs

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Alan Pardew said:
If AXE's popularity will take a serious hit because of Chris, I think The Coca-Cola Company will take the hit even worse because of the Orange Fanta.

If I ever drink Orange Fanta, I would be eating a pickle at the same time in order to counteract the awfulness.
 

ChurchOfGodBear

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In truth, I've never met a single female who ever had anything positive to say about Axe body products.
 

Stratochu

\
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aspirin said:
Stratochu said:
I have seen 2 thrift store bans in the time I've lived here. One time it was an older Native American lady who threw a fit about not taking tags out before she tried clothes on, had a Chris-chan style tantrum, and stomped out of the store. She pulled out of the parking lot like a bat out of hell in a Chevy Corsica in similar shape to Google Street View-era Son-Chu, and was supposedly permabanned from all locations of Lane & South Coast Counties Goodwill stores. (I wonder if she was Cherokian? There are more Navajo, Lakota Sioux and Paiute here than the indigenous Northwest Coast tribes in Oregon, not many Cherokians :julay: )

The second was a weeaboo trying to return some mangas she presumably got at a garage sale to St. Vincent DePaul, she went full retard and was banned from all locations of St. Vincent DePaul thrift stores, food banks and social-service centers in Oregon for life and wound up in jail for disorderly conduct and malicious property damage. There was a Lane County Sheriff's Office homicide detective in uniform there who watched the whole thing, and that's how she got arrested.
weeaboo story please
The weeaboo threw the mangas at the clerk, then threw the bell on the counter at the clerk, which broke the cash register, and the straw that broke the camel's back was smashing the wired glass on the antiques case trying to get at a katana that was inside, and tearing the shit out of her hand. When the jerkop came out of the book section to do his job and arrest her, she got Tazed and taken to hospital in an ambulance with police escort to have her injured hand treated, and I was told that they did not drop the charges and that the judge gave her the maximum sentence.
 

aspirin

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Stratochu said:
aspirin said:
Stratochu said:
I have seen 2 thrift store bans in the time I've lived here. One time it was an older Native American lady who threw a fit about not taking tags out before she tried clothes on, had a Chris-chan style tantrum, and stomped out of the store. She pulled out of the parking lot like a bat out of hell in a Chevy Corsica in similar shape to Google Street View-era Son-Chu, and was supposedly permabanned from all locations of Lane & South Coast Counties Goodwill stores. (I wonder if she was Cherokian? There are more Navajo, Lakota Sioux and Paiute here than the indigenous Northwest Coast tribes in Oregon, not many Cherokians :julay: )

The second was a weeaboo trying to return some mangas she presumably got at a garage sale to St. Vincent DePaul, she went full retard and was banned from all locations of St. Vincent DePaul thrift stores, food banks and social-service centers in Oregon for life and wound up in jail for disorderly conduct and malicious property damage. There was a Lane County Sheriff's Office homicide detective in uniform there who watched the whole thing, and that's how she got arrested.
weeaboo story please
The weeaboo threw the mangas at the clerk, then threw the bell on the counter at the clerk, which broke the cash register, and the straw that broke the camel's back was smashing the wired glass on the antiques case trying to get at a katana that was inside, and tearing the shit out of her hand. When the jerkop came out of the book section to do his job and arrest her, she got Tazed and taken to hospital in an ambulance with police escort to have her injured hand treated, and I was told that they did not drop the charges and that the judge gave her the maximum sentence.
im imagining the weeb punching through wired glass in a fit of pure rage in an attempt to get the katana so they can summon their moon spirit wolf
 

ChurchOfGodBear

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Stratochu said:
aspirin said:
weeaboo story please
The weeaboo threw the mangas at the clerk, then threw the bell on the counter at the clerk, which broke the cash register, and the straw that broke the camel's back was smashing the wired glass on the antiques case trying to get at a katana that was inside, and tearing the shit out of her hand. When the jerkop came out of the book section to do his job and arrest her, she got Tazed and taken to hospital in an ambulance with police escort to have her injured hand treated, and I was told that they did not drop the charges and that the judge gave her the maximum sentence.

Of course, in most revered Japan, the girl wouldn't have been arrested, and in fact, grabbing the katana would have been the sign that she should leave on a quest ordained by her ancestors. I'm quite certain a gorgeous hunk/weird animal sidekick would have made her acquaintance by the end of the afternoon.
 

CatParty

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ChurchOfGodBear said:
Stratochu said:
aspirin said:
weeaboo story please
The weeaboo threw the mangas at the clerk, then threw the bell on the counter at the clerk, which broke the cash register, and the straw that broke the camel's back was smashing the wired glass on the antiques case trying to get at a katana that was inside, and tearing the shit out of her hand. When the jerkop came out of the book section to do his job and arrest her, she got Tazed and taken to hospital in an ambulance with police escort to have her injured hand treated, and I was told that they did not drop the charges and that the judge gave her the maximum sentence.

Of course, in most revered Japan, the girl wouldn't have been arrested, and in fact, grabbing the katana would have been the sign that she should leave on a quest ordained by her ancestors. I'm quite certain a gorgeous hunk/weird animal sidekick would have made her acquaintance by the end of the afternoon.


this whole scenario is making me laugh way more than i should.
 

Donald Duck

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ChurchOfGodBear said:
Stratochu said:
aspirin said:
weeaboo story please
The weeaboo threw the mangas at the clerk, then threw the bell on the counter at the clerk, which broke the cash register, and the straw that broke the camel's back was smashing the wired glass on the antiques case trying to get at a katana that was inside, and tearing the shit out of her hand. When the jerkop came out of the book section to do his job and arrest her, she got Tazed and taken to hospital in an ambulance with police escort to have her injured hand treated, and I was told that they did not drop the charges and that the judge gave her the maximum sentence.

Of course, in most revered Japan, the girl wouldn't have been arrested, and in fact, grabbing the katana would have been the sign that she should leave on a quest ordained by her ancestors. I'm quite certain a gorgeous hunk/weird animal sidekick would have made her acquaintance by the end of the afternoon.

No they wouldn't! They'd be affronted that a poorly educated gaijin would dare lay their hands on something so sacred as a katana and punish her severely by throwing her in a tentacle pit.
 

Lady Houligan

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ChurchOfGodBear said:
In truth, I've never met a single female who ever had anything positive to say about Axe body products.

Quoted for truth. I worked at Walmart in the cosmetics and body care section for two summers to help pay for college, and the bane of my existence was when the herd of teenage boys with nothing better to do would wander into the deodorant aisle and spray EVERY AXE SCENT ALL OVER EACH OTHER. I'd spend the rest of the night wishing years of blue balls on them every time I gagged walking near the lingering fumes.
 

Donald Duck

LEGO IS EXPENSIVE!!!
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Lady Houligan said:
ChurchOfGodBear said:
In truth, I've never met a single female who ever had anything positive to say about Axe body products.

Quoted for truth. I worked at Walmart in the cosmetics and body care section for two summers to help pay for college, and the bane of my existence was when the herd of teenage boys with nothing better to do would wander into the deodorant aisle and spray EVERY AXE SCENT ALL OVER EACH OTHER. I'd spend the rest of the night wishing years of blue balls on them every time I gagged walking near the lingering fumes.

I always wondered about that, if the makers of Axe really put much thought into how they advertised their product. Sure the commercials were funny the first couple of times, but I also thought that nobody would be able to buy their product without feeling and looking like a totally desperate, horny loser. True enough, at school the boys who had Axe products in the changing room at gym class were always made fun of, either with light ribbing or outright mockery.
 
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