EDIT: I didn't realize that saying "C h r i s C h a n" would turn into "Our Pet Lolcow." I did not put "Pet Lolcow" on my assignment, just C h r i s C h a n."
So I did an essay for my Psych 201 class, and we had to make a super hero and describe parts of the brain that unlock those abilities. What better super hero than a Chris Chan one. I have sent this assignment in, and hopefully I will get some feedback on it:
So I did an essay for my Psych 201 class, and we had to make a super hero and describe parts of the brain that unlock those abilities. What better super hero than a Chris Chan one. I have sent this assignment in, and hopefully I will get some feedback on it:
Chris Chan: The Super Hero
Disclaimer: The following writing assignment maybe offensive to those who know of someone who has autism or mental issues. This assignment is not my view of making fun of autistic people, but to show the mental state of one autistic person in question. Everything being said is in truth from this one person, but shown in an exaggerated and detailed manner. For more information on Chris Chan, go to http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/Main_Page.
By day, Christian Weston Chandler is a mild mannered, 30's something, functioning autistic human being. He plays with Lego's, unlocks large amounts of trophies on the PlayStation Network, and works on his never ending web comic, Sonichu. But by night, Christian turns into his alter ego, Chris Chan, defender of other autistics and Sonic The Hedgehog fanboys around the world. His fashion style of choice is his lucky striped shirt, which is added with his custom made medallion of his comic book creation, Sonichu. The common enemies of Chris Chan include people who troll him and other autistics on the internet, people with Aspergers (which he claims are his mortal enemies and “fakers” of those who have autism: http://sonichu.com/cwcki/Asperger), and people who own the local comic book shop, which he fully believes is the secret hideout of all of his enemies and foes.
Chris Chan super abilities are, but not limited to, being racist towards black people who have hot white girlfriends, turning women away from him when he tries to “advance” on them, his stuttering speech ability, being an extremely prideful individual to his way of thinking (and his ONLY WAY), and getting funding from the government for being “disabled.” To break down these abilities and how they would function with his brain, lets start with the racism ability. When Chris sees that a beautiful woman (or how he would call “his sweetheart”) is with an intimidating person outside of his race (which is mostly African Americans), Chris gets feelings of insecurity and intimidation. Chris develops these feelings in the brain which is triggered by serotonin when Chris sees his “maybe potential” mate with a larger, intimidating, alpha male, which generates a depressing feeling in Chris Chan's soul of despair. Once this occurs, Chris gets aggressive thoughts and gets his testosterone going, which is still caused by the serotonin, as he goes to confront someone who is much bigger and stronger physically than Chris. Once Chris confronts the colored alpha male by going on a tangent on why he has an attractive female companion, the offender can only interpret that Chris is just a sad, pathetic and flabby individual. Most of these conflicts end with Chris Chan getting punched in the face, or escorted off the premisses by security. Still, Chris Chan never gives up on love, and continues onward.
Another ability is his failed, fly style with the ladies. When Chris Chan scopes a potential “Boyfriend Free” mate in the wild, it triggers the hypothalamus of the fore brain to indicate that a “potential” female, “boyfriend free,” mate is ahead. With Chris Chan's sights set on his feminine desire, he gains the courage to approach the female, as his cerebrum has Chris thinking of all the one liners he learned from pornography videos and random episodes of The Pickup Artist, which have been stored in Chris's association area of his brain. Once Chris approaches the female, he is once again foiled by his other autistic super ability that has disabled the left hemisphere of his brain, which the female can only hear mumbles of broken English coming out of Chris mouth in an inaudible manner. Because of this super ability in action, the female quickly runs away from Chris Chan, to either the nearby food court or to her boyfriend in the local Hot Topic store. By the time Chris realizes what happened, he is forced to retreat with large amounts of serotonin overcoming all brain functions in his skull, which he will then retreat in depression to Gamestop to by more Little Big Planet plushes.
At this time, there is no normal human on the planet who can help Chris Chan with this autism or abilities. Chris looks at his autism as a superpower, and refuses to get any kind of treatment or help from the outside to change that. With his other superpower of receiving disability insurance from the federal government from what he calls “tugboat money,” he finds no reason or way to change his ways to better himself and to lose his super human abilities.
