Chris' Financial Situation as of Dec 2013 -

[CalmMyTits]

Marvin said this in the Chris selling his porn thread...

"Wow, yeah, that is interesting.

I think Chris is selling the porn collection primarily because his debt is finally kicking his ass. Really, up until now, he's been funding all his crap with lots and lots of credit card debt and just paying the minimums for a long time. Thus far, he's managed to be fine, but I guess it finally caught up to him."

There's different reasons why Chris could be selling his porn. Freeing up space seems the least likely idea as these DVD's don't really take up any space compared to the Hoard. I was also curious about the fact that Chris isn't trying to sell this on eBay, or the fact that he is not offering PayPal as an option. I buy and sell things on eBay, and Paypal is a great tool for sellers because it's a easy and quick way to get payment.

If Chris was accepting PayPal, I wouldn't have thought as much of his selling his porn, but the cash only thing has stuck in my craw for a bit now. Now, that doesn't mean I think Marvin is wrong - Chris could very well be doing this because he has so much debt now, but I wondered something else - what if Barb has come down on him like Bob did over the credit cards and is now taking his money/controlling his bank account? It's been documented and discussed how much of a pussy Chris is in face of his mother, and I theorize that Barb has now taken control of his money.

It stands to reason since she's pretty much taken control of his life - he now has to sleep in the den with her, and so on and so forth. It also highlights Chris' stupidity - he could accept the money via PayPal and keep that money in his PayPal account (so it wouldn't show up in his checking account, that's what I do when I plan to buy something soon after I sell something, I don't bother transferring it into my checking account) Course, not all sites accept PayPal, so he would still need his debit card for some sites.

This makes me think he wants the cash so he can buy a PS4 and other swag behind his mother's back (because as much of a pussy as he is, he has already shown how willing he is to go far for vidya, and he has stolen from mommy before) and since Barb has taken control of his accounts, cash is the only option. Now, why has Barb taken control of his accounts is another matter for speculation - is it because like Marvin said, the debt is kicking his ass, or is she a selfish old bat who wants to use his money for buying more stuff for the hoard, or is she taking his money so she won't have to use her own to buy the bills, or is her own income (from bob's pension or whatever) not enough to pay for the bills, or was she just displeased with Chris' vidya purchases (the Iphone and other crap) and wanted to put a stop to it because vidya is stopping him from spooning with mummy.

 

[Anchuent Christory]

So you're suggesting Chris could be seeking an untraceable source of income? Interesting theory.

Part of me wonders if Chris bet the farm on his most recent Lego school episode netting him unspeakable riches, and/or reuniting him with any one of his theoretical girlfriends from school, and having her take care of him.
Of course, all he did was piss a stupid amount of money away on a shit-ton of girls Lego. Maybe he needs the cash to recover from that?

 

[CalmMyTits]

So you're suggesting Chris could be seeking an untraceable source of income? Interesting theory.

Part of me wonders if Chris bet the farm on his most recent Lego school episode netting him unspeakable riches, and/or reuniting him with any one of his theoretical girlfriends from school, and having her take care of him.
Of course, all he did was piss a stupid amount of money away on a shit-ton of girls Lego. Maybe he needs the cash to recover from that?

Oh, I wasn't even thinking of the Legos when I made my original post. Yeah he dropped what, 500 bucks on all these Legos, I wonder if this made Barb angry, or if like you said, he just needed the cash to recover from that.

 

[The Knife]

So you're suggesting Chris could be seeking an untraceable source of income? Interesting theory.

Part of me wonders if Chris bet the farm on his most recent Lego school episode netting him unspeakable riches, and/or reuniting him with any one of his theoretical girlfriends from school, and having her take care of him.
Of course, all he did was piss a stupid amount of money away on a shit-ton of girls Lego. Maybe he needs the cash to recover from that?

I've a hunch he didn't buy all those Legos at one go solely for that project. Maybe one or two of the smaller sets, the ones he had multiples of, to fill in gaps, but he already had a shit-ton of Legos on hand and he's been accumulating the girlie sets for a while now.

But you do make an interesting point about "untraceable" money. Barb's clearly holding the pursestrings now. Maybe he just thinks that if he's selling "his" crap, it's "his" money and he won't have to hand it over to the hoardbeast for bills? Or maybe she even told him as much: "if you want to waste your own money, you'll have to make some."

 

[Green Nidoking]

I don't know about "untraceable" money since he wanted people to come to his house "at their leisure". That indicates there's no specific time not to come - indicating Barb could be home, and if she's as controlling as has been speculated she'll for damn sure notice Chris lugging out a case full of porn and coming back without it after talking with someone outside. And that's completely disregarding what she might overhear.

 

[Anchuent Christory]

I don't know about "untraceable" money since he wanted people to come to his house "at their leisure". That indicates there's no specific time not to come - indicating Barb could be home, and if she's as controlling as has been speculated she'll for damn sure notice Chris lugging out a case full of porn and coming back without it after talking with someone outside. And that's completely disregarding what she might overhear.

Fair point, but this is Chris, and his ability to think things through is limited at best.

 

[Picklepower]

I like my theory better, I think he's saving up for the sex change operation, but he'll probably get it when Barb is dead or dying so she wont get mad.

 

[Zim]

Fair point, but this is Chris, and his ability to think things through is limited at best.

Exactly this. His only line of thinking is "I, Christian Ricardo Weston Chandler, will do "A" and then "B" is going to happen and then I win."

Honestly, I think one of two things happened to make him want to sell his stuff. He either is getting into a bad financial situation and needs the extra green to make the scene or mother dearest has gotten on him about his spending habits and if he wants more crap he has to sell some of his old stuff.

His total non-understanding of how much used items are worth is hilarious by the way.

 

[4Macie]

Chris doesn't understand money at all; he just uses phrases he heard on tv. Just like the 'exposing' videos he made of people, he said he wanted $1000 (see a trend?) in unmarked bills. He doesn't know what that means, he just heard it on a robber show and thought it was what he was suppose to say.

Here he asks for it to be up-front and in cash. There's probably a reason that doesn't make a lot of sense to us, but to Chris it's genius. I'm guessing that the reason he's selling the porn is because he wants more money in general, not just for his debt or another hooker. Remember, his mom is probably taking a good chunk out of that 1200 he gets for bills and food. Going out to eat daily could be costing them $100 a week alone; then add the water bill, electricity, other food from the store, gas (IT'S EXPENSIVE), and misc; there's not going to be much for him to use on video games and PS4.

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

Brother, Chris likely didn't use ebay/pay pal because it is far more work than just having someone stopping over to buy lice infested dvd porn.

 

[_blank_]

Although I will agree with Marvin that Chris is mentally capable enough to pay the minimums on his credit cards (which isn't saying much, considering from my experience working in a credit card collection agency, I've confronted 80-year old, halfway-dead invalids capable of doing this), that fact is Chris is still Chris and like hell he is able to factor in any out-of-the-ordinary costs.

Let's go down the line of stuff that has happened in recent Christory:

1) Court fees and damages he and Barb have to pay for hitting Snyder. Also there is also the situation with Rob Bel, who I'm not sure was working pro-bono or not.
2) Chris' fender-bender a few months ago with a DAMN SMOKER. I would guess CHris and whatever car insurance he has is now paying for the damages wrought.
3) Chris' Lego high-school dreamhouse. It as estimated to be in the range of $500-$700, which may have been bought over the course of a few months, and the small speculation some weens bought him the sets.

There are also other circumstances which have not been confirmed and documented, but can be assumed:

1) Barb's declining health. Although it isn't known whether or not she's actually seeing professional help, we have speculated she may be trying home-made solutions, which still can be costly.
2) The Chandlers' diet which appears to be nothing but microwavable meals, take-out, and fast-food.
3) Although we do joke about GAS IS EXPENSIVE- that fact is Chris' little song and dance show and getting himself banned in a number of local establishments will add up, especially considering...
4) ..the condition of the Chandlers' vehicles. The fact that maintenance is a distant afterthought for them, their engines are probably burning fuel in disgusting amounts.


All of that factored in... and I'm pretty sure Chris and Barb are very rapidly feeling the sting of Chris' inactivity and Barbs' slothful nature. Knowing Chris, I would safely assume he is trying to solve the situation in the most juvenile way possible by taking what means the least to him now and believing (naively) that the world works like a demented Richard Scarry book and someone will just happen along to buy his nasty old porn. He isn't going to take the initiative to make things better and instead going to whine and bitch like always when shit falls through.

 

[Hexbox]

I'm thinking that he probably has a large amount of those really low limit bottom-tier credit cards from fly-by-night banks that throw offers in your mailbox every other day. I can totally see Chris applying for all of them since he was already "PRE-APPROVED" by the Fourth National Bank of Titpoke, Wyoming. They're all starting to be too much to handle.

 

[Marvin]

1) Court fees and damages he and Barb have to pay for hitting Snyder. Also there is also the situation with Rob Bel, who I'm not sure was working pro-bono or not.

Nah, Rob Bell wasn't working pro-bono.

3) Chris' Lego high-school dreamhouse. It as estimated to be in the range of $500-$700, which may have been bought over the course of a few months, and the small speculation some weens bought him the sets.

Uhh, I think he bought those mostly all at once and on credit.

 

[Kosher Dill]

My personal guess is that his minimum payment on the credit cards in the $1000 range, and picking up $1000 in cash is his extremely shortsighted way of dealing with it. Just think, if he can pay the bill using the porn money, that means he can spend a whole tugboat freely! Problem solved!

 

[_blank_]

My personal guess is that his minimum payment on the credit cards in the $1000 range, and picking up $1000 in cash is his extremely shortsighted way of dealing with it. Just think, if he can pay the bill using the porn money, that means he can spend a whole tugboat freely! Problem solved!

If Chris' minimum payment is $1,000 then that tells me he hasn't been paying the bare minimum for at least 3-4 months. Honestly, I don't even think any credit card in the US can charge that amount as a base minimum after the 2009 CARD Act.

If anything, since we know Chris and Barb live off of SSI, they pretty much fall into the sub-prime credit card category. From my experience, their minimum monthly payments are generally $25-$40, depending on whatever bank you're using. The trick here though is that these cards have barely any spending limits higher than $500 (unless you've been with them for decades), and their monthly fees, late fees, and annual fees will bite the cardholders in the ass, esp. when they don't realize that up front (and the Chandlers wouldn't).

All the stuff that Marvin just said

So yeah, if all of that is true, then that's a ton more dinero Chris is having to pay out.

 

[Mayor McCheese]

If he doesn't get the PS4 for Xmas I wonder what crazy get rich quick schemes he will come up with next to get it.

 

[Hyperion]

I was going to try and refute the theory that Chris wants to sneak in a PS4, but Barb probably wouldn't notice the difference. Interesting theory. She's smarter than 90% of the posters on this forum Chris but thats really not saying much, and vidya is just vidya to an old lady.

 

[Kosher Dill]

If Chris' minimum payment is $1,000 then that tells me he hasn't been paying the bare minimum for at least 3-4 months. Honestly, I don't even think any credit card in the US can charge that amount as a base minimum after the 2009 CARD Act.

No single card, but he's probably got a whole stack of low-limit cards to manage. I mean, he charged $700 worth of Legos somehow in addition to his existing crushing debt, right?

 

[AnimuGinger]

If Chris' minimum payment is $1,000 then that tells me he hasn't been paying the bare minimum for at least 3-4 months. Honestly, I don't even think any credit card in the US can charge that amount as a base minimum after the 2009 CARD Act.

No single card, but he's probably got a whole stack of low-limit cards to manage. I mean, he charged $700 worth of Legos somehow in addition to his existing crushing debt, right?

Maybe he opened a couple of new ones, just to be able to buy the Legos. I mean, who would expect this FULLPROOF plan to fail?

 

[CWCissey]

If anything, since we know Chris and Barb live off of SSI, they pretty much fall into the sub-prime credit card category.

It's Chris' fault the 2008 crash happened! He is worse than Hitler, Stalin, Mao, Idi Amin and Pol Pot all put together!