Chris is going to Everfree Northwest -

[Ronnie Rocket]

Way back when I took the California Zephyr from Chicago to Denver for the cheapest fare available. It was pretty much the same cost as flying, but reasons. It felt like I had a lot of privacy in just a high backed long seat, it was nice not being arm to arm with some rando.

I think the rail experience would much better suit Chris than flying, especially if he has a connection flight. That doubles the chance of him having a meltdown and not being allowed on the plane, which for all the crap he wears and other obvious reasons puts him at a high risk for. I'm sure security for Amtrak has been beefed since my trip, but once he's on the train it's likely he can just chill and sperg out without bothering anyone much.

Even if it costs a little more and would produce less milk, when has price ever been a considering factor for Chris?

Chris cannot handle a 77-hour (one way!) journey and three train changes.

Spoiler

Segment 1 of 3
Charlottesville, VA, (CVS) 176 Northeast Regional
8:53a, Mon, Aug 9 (2h 29m)

Washington, DC, (WAS ) Union Station
11:22a, Mon, Aug 9

4h 43m layover > transfer

Segment 2 of 3
Washington, DC, (WAS) Union Station 29 Capitol Limited
4:05p, Mon, Aug 9 (17h 40m)

Chicago, IL, (CHI ) Union Station
8:45a, Tue, Aug 10

5h 30m layover > transfer

Segment 3 of 3
Chicago, IL, (CHI) Union Station 7 Empire Builder
2:15p, Tue, Aug 10 (46h 10m)

Seattle, WA, (SEA ) King Street Station
10:25a, Thu, Aug 12

Not to mention the third segment from Chicago to Seattle includes ALL of these stops:
Chicago, IL - Union Station (CHI)
Glenview, IL (GLN)
Milwaukee, WI - Downtown (MKE)
Columbus, WI (CBS)
Portage, WI (POG)
Wisconsin Dells, WI (WDL)
Tomah, WI (TOH)
La Crosse, WI (LSE)
Winona, MN (WIN)
Red Wing, MN (RDW)
St. Paul-Minneapolis, MN - Union Depot (MSP)
St. Cloud, MN (SCD)
Staples, MN (SPL)
Detroit Lakes, MN (DLK)
Fargo, ND (FAR)
Grand Forks, ND (GFK)
Devils Lake, ND (DVL)
Rugby, ND (RUG)
Minot, ND (MOT)
Stanley, ND (STN)
Williston, ND (WTN)
Wolf Point, MT (WPT)
Glasgow, MT (GGW)
Malta, MT (MAL)
Havre, MT (HAV)
Shelby, MT (SBY)
Cut Bank, MT (CUT)
Browning, MT (BRO)
East Glacier Park, MT (GPK)
Essex, MT (ESM)
West Glacier, MT (WGL)
Whitefish, MT (WFH)
Libby, MT (LIB)
Sandpoint, ID (SPT)
Spokane, WA - Amtrak Station (SPK)
Pasco, WA (PSC)
Wishram, WA (WIH)
Bingen-White Salmon, WA (BNG)
Vancouver, WA (VAN)
Portland, OR - Union Station (PDX)
Ephrata, WA (EPH)
Wenatchee, WA - Amtrak Station (WEN)
Leavenworth, WA - Icicle Station (LWA)
Everett, WA (EVR)
Edmonds, WA (EDM)
Seattle, WA - King Street Station (SEA)

Imagine Chris getting frustrated and impatient while sitting at each one of those stations during the 46 hour train trip (that's ONLY from Chicago to Seattle).

And then imagine the likelihood of him wanting to do it all over again three days later...

 

[Xenomorph]

Has this been asked: "who's going to look out for Barb?"

The Grim Reaper.

 

[GayestFurryTrash]

I'm okay with watching how this trainwreck ends no matter what, and I'd rather have Chris sperging the fuck out at a con where others can film him. I really hope to see tons of cringe videos of him trying to get buddy buddy with some actual women like half his age by acting like a cartoon four year old. Even just some photo bombs of him just in the background of random con goer's photos will be good.

I aint gonna send the cow any money but by all means it's better if he flies and doesn't just kill himself in a car accident in fucking flyover country because he's a complete retard. Although him breaking down in some backwoods town and getting into a politisperg fight with the tow truck driver over his Trump bumper sticker would be fucking kino.

 

[Xenomorph]

What if Chris has a meltdown if he gets picked for TSA to search him?
He would freak out especially if he thinks the agents are treating him like a dainty wammen he is.
Oh fuck he would be booted out of the airport for sure.

 

[Hogar Grupal]

Chris cannot handle a 77-hour (one way!) journey and three train changes.

Segment 1 of 3
Charlottesville, VA, (CVS) 176 Northeast Regional
8:53a, Mon, Aug 9 (2h 29m)

Washington, DC, (WAS ) Union Station
11:22a, Mon, Aug 9

4h 43m layover > transfer

Segment 2 of 3
Washington, DC, (WAS) Union Station 29 Capitol Limited
4:05p, Mon, Aug 9 (17h 40m)

Chicago, IL, (CHI ) Union Station
8:45a, Tue, Aug 10

5h 30m layover > transfer

Segment 3 of 3
Chicago, IL, (CHI) Union Station 7 Empire Builder
2:15p, Tue, Aug 10 (46h 10m)

Seattle, WA, (SEA ) King Street Station
10:25a, Thu, Aug 12

Not to mention the third segment from Chicago to Seattle includes ALL of these stops:
Chicago, IL - Union Station (CHI)
Glenview, IL (GLN)
Milwaukee, WI - Downtown (MKE)
Columbus, WI (CBS)
Portage, WI (POG)
Wisconsin Dells, WI (WDL)
Tomah, WI (TOH)
La Crosse, WI (LSE)
Winona, MN (WIN)
Red Wing, MN (RDW)
St. Paul-Minneapolis, MN - Union Depot (MSP)
St. Cloud, MN (SCD)
Staples, MN (SPL)
Detroit Lakes, MN (DLK)
Fargo, ND (FAR)
Grand Forks, ND (GFK)
Devils Lake, ND (DVL)
Rugby, ND (RUG)
Minot, ND (MOT)
Stanley, ND (STN)
Williston, ND (WTN)
Wolf Point, MT (WPT)
Glasgow, MT (GGW)
Malta, MT (MAL)
Havre, MT (HAV)
Shelby, MT (SBY)
Cut Bank, MT (CUT)
Browning, MT (BRO)
East Glacier Park, MT (GPK)
Essex, MT (ESM)
West Glacier, MT (WGL)
Whitefish, MT (WFH)
Libby, MT (LIB)
Sandpoint, ID (SPT)
Spokane, WA - Amtrak Station (SPK)
Pasco, WA (PSC)
Wishram, WA (WIH)
Bingen-White Salmon, WA (BNG)
Vancouver, WA (VAN)
Portland, OR - Union Station (PDX)
Ephrata, WA (EPH)
Wenatchee, WA - Amtrak Station (WEN)
Leavenworth, WA - Icicle Station (LWA)
Everett, WA (EVR)
Edmonds, WA (EDM)
Seattle, WA - King Street Station (SEA)

Imagine Chris getting frustrated and impatient while sitting at each one of those stations during the 46 hour train trip (that's ONLY from Chicago to Seattle).

And then imagine the likelihood of him wanting to do it all over again three days later...

If Chris was smart, he'd do a Tard Tour of America: visiting each state and seeing if he has fans in that city. Knowing Chris, he'd blow it.

 

[normankrasner]

It might be cheaper to do it from Dulles.

Spirit Air doesn't fly to there or Raygun National

 

[AnOminous]

It would probably be best if Chris could travel with a group of people to babysit him and make sure he doesn't do a Home Alone 2 and accidentally get on a plane to New York.

Maybe someone like @Jaiman could locate someone willing to tard wrangle him.

 

[verygayFrogs]

Well the good news is that they found images of galaxies merging. Maybe Chris is rewarding himself for finally completing the merge?

 

[Stormy Daniel's Lawyer]

You stay classy Null...

 

[AnOminous]

Some level of responsibility? You don't have the professional training in terms of behavior modification. Suppose she screws up for whatever reason and she is sitting there in Seattle with nowhere to go? Will you bail her out? Making videos/comics/pictures to raise revenue? Maybe you should talk to DStecks . TrippinKahlua is right on the money. This is the most harebrained idea I've ever heard of.

No, you fat, hamburger boiling retard, the most harebrained would be when you autistically egged him on in his blarms crusade which resulted in an innocent bystander getting maced by him.

All that welfare bullshit completely removes any loss scenarios from completely exceptional people's lives.

Actually it should be there for those complete retards, the ones who are actually legit completely retarded, not people who are semi-retarded but 100% lazy like Chris. They should get some help, but not "you get to do nothing for your entire life" help.

A goddess wouldn't take advantage of this service herself, so null will have to make sure this particular box gets checked

Just tell him he's such a special princess that they're giving him a personal assistant.

You're a piece of shit, and I'm going to laugh when you get banned.

It's probably happened already. Maybe even more than once.

Every man has inside himself a parasitic being who is acting not at all to his advantage. In the case of Chris, the parasite has taken over completely.

Chris has two ponies inside of him. One pony is autistic. The other pony is also autistic. Chris is autistic.

 

[Terrorist]

Chris will need a rental car

Does Chris use Uber, Lyft, etc.? I think the logistics and cost of that would be way easier for him to handle than a rental car. If he can get service out to 14BC he may not have to drive at all.

 

[Jack Awful]

Does Chris use Uber, Lyft, etc.? I think the logistics and cost of that would be way easier for him to handle than a rental car.

Yeah, there's a good chance Chris's rental will get fucked before he returns it. Would they deny rental due to his driving record?

 

[Joe Swanson]

Alternate Title: Chris is going to be shot in Seattle

 

[Black Yoshi]

I set a departure date for the 12th and a return date for the 16th with the airport being Dulles. These are the among cheaper nonstop and layover flights Google gave me, there are cheaper rates but they don't include the cost for the overhead bin.

 

[Terrorist]

Yeah, there's a good chance Chris's rental will get fucked before he returns it. Would they deny rental due to his driving record?

Depends. He has a valid license so a lot of places won't think twice, but some (like Avis for example) will do a Driver Record Check. Despite all his fender benders the only one Chris has been charged for was when he ran into Mike Snyder on 28 Oct 2011, which was plead down to a misdemeanor. Avis's rules would only consider that as a factor if it happened in the past 36 months, so Chris is most likely able to rent a car assuming others have a similar SOP.

He shouldn't though, since he's only ever driven in Ruckersville (never in a big city) and can barely manage that as it is. If he gets in an accident that goes on his permanent record, it'd be in Seattle.

 

[Ronnie Rocket]

I set a departure date for the 12th and a return date for the 16th with the airport being Dulles. These are the among cheaper nonstop and layover flights Google gave me, there are cheaper rates but they don't include the cost for the overhead bin.

View attachment 2297680

Note: The discount airlines like Southwest, Alaska, Frontier, etc, aren't in the ITA Matrix and have to be searched separately.

Edit: Slightly more costly, but nonstop both ways and Alaska is a pretty great airline.

• Carry-on baggage: Each passenger is limited to one carry-on bag that measures up to 22"x14"x9" plus one personal item.
• Checked baggage: Your first checked bag fee is $30 and the second checked bag fee is $40. All standard rules and fees apply. Mileage Plan™ elite members, Alaska Airlines credit card holders and others may qualify for exceptions. Please refer to Checked baggage for more details, seasonal limitations, and restrictions.

We all know Chris will wear the same outfit during the entire con. If he needs to take Sonichu merch with him then he can send it to the hotel via USPS Media Mail.

 

[Rupin]

Note: The discount airlines like Southwest, Alaska, Frontier, etc, aren't in the ITA Matrix and have to be searched separately.

Edit: Slightly more costly, but nonstop both ways and Alaska is a pretty great airline.

View attachment 2297688



We all know Chris will wear the same outfit during the entire con. If he needs to take Sonichu merch with him then he can send it to the hotel via USPS Media Mail.

he will fit right in with the crust punk culture of Seattle.

 

[JuanButNotForgotten]

>This is for Chris's fans on Twitter who offer Chris money every single day.

I thought we create threads on those people.

 

[Wowcoolusername]

Edit: Slightly more costly, but nonstop both ways and Alaska is a pretty great airline.

View attachment 2297688

I second that. Slight power level: In a past job I would fly to 4 sometimes 5 different cities every 3 weeks for business meetings (like clockwork), and out of all the airlines in the US (I've flown all of them, many multiple of times) Alaska Airlines has always been the kindest and most professional. I did this for about 6 years. Granted, this was late 2000s to mid 2010s and things may have changed since then, but based on my past experience if Chris can get past TSA without having a meltdown then Alaska is his best bet for a relatively manageable and uneventful flying experience.

 

[Easterling]

I hope this goes well for chris, he never got out much pre-covid so maybe this will do him some good. Providing enough autists throw money at him that is.