Chris the "nice guy" -

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Globe

baby you look great today
kiwifarms.net
Throughout the course of his love-quest, Chris has been (bluntly) confronted with the reality that he has no job, no money, no aspirations and (sic) absolutely no prospects, ergo he has nothing to offer a potential mate. His stock response has always been that what he lacks in financial security/stability, he makes up for in honesty and "emotional support", whatever the fuck that is supposed to mean. I guess his logic is that even if he's not capable of being a provider, he's still a "good" guy that will treat a girlfriend well.

OPL said:
Yes I could, because I could offer, I can, I can offer her...a whole bunch of support that, that, that, that Chris could not offer. Like I am, I am, I am HONEST..I am loyal, I am STRONG...good natured...

This is Chris we're talking about, so we already know stuff like the above quote from the Father call is bullshit, I just want to hear some examples from other folks on the forum of where Chris has totally failed to deliver on this claim (even if it's just the prospect of that claim). For me, one of the recently leaked Jackie emails illustrates it pretty well;

OPL said:
At least now I have finally confirmed that you, a shorter-than-me woman, can crash on my couch, and I would take the bed, without having feet hit me. I mean, I am uncertain my bed is wide enough for two.

Let's forget the fact that Jackie was a troll that was never going to actually meet Chris, let's forget the fact that nobody in their right mind would want to sleep on Chris' shit-stained baby sheets (other than him). I wanna put some of this in the realm of possibility so I can ask this totally rhetorical question; what kind of self-centered douche-nozzle insists on having his girlfriend go through the time and effort of visiting him, only to end the day by booting her to the couch?

Honestly, if this one simple gesture of offering your bed to your partner doesn't even enter your head, you're not a "nice guy". SO, can anybody else think of some instances where Chris has done/said something really effectively shows how horribly he would fail in even this aspect of a relationship?
 

Mr. 0

god im not good at computer how did this get here
True & Honest Fan
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Globe said:
what kind of self-centered douche-nozzle insists on having his girlfriend go through the time and effort of visiting him, only to end the day by booting her to the couch?

Chris.

To be fair, the couch he refers to is in his room, next to the bed.
 

Da Pickle Monsta

Should Have Been Bullied
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
I love how Chris claimed to be "wrong, but for the right reasons" (a line he stole from South Park, by the way,) during the Kacey Saga. And this was right after he started pretending to be the other Chris to steal Kacey away from Liquid.
 

Alec Benson Leary

Creator of Asperchu
Christorical Figure
kiwifarms.net
The lying. That's the best example of so many of Chris's bad traits.

Like, he claims he is "honest" and "true". But he thinks it's okay to lie about anything he wants to a sweetheart, because in his head he's telling himself "well, I will be honest with her when she stops asking things I don't want to give truthful answers to". He loves to move the goalposts.
 

MysticMisty

kiwifarms.net
Alec Benson Leary said:
The lying. That's the best example of so many of Chris's bad traits.

Like, he claims he is "honest" and "true". But he thinks it's okay to lie about anything he wants to a sweetheart, because in his head he's telling himself "well, I will be honest with her when she stops asking things I don't want to give truthful answers to". He loves to move the goalposts.
But he doesn't lie all of the time. He only lies some of the time.

I imagine his "emotional support" to be along the lines of telling his sweetheart to be quiet and leave him alone because he's playing games after she just found out a close family member died.
 

Tubular Monkey

Very much Greatly extroverted
kiwifarms.net
If you're looking for a way to complement Chris, he is honest with his selfishness. The problem is that he is only honest about his selfishness because it never occurs in what passes for his brain that his desires are selfish. If it occurred to him that they sounded selfish, he'd lie about them. It isn't so much a window into his honesty as it is his pathologically hardwired selfishness and complete stupidity. I would love to see a scan of his brain and all of the little parts that don't work properly.
 

CatParty

Boo
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
his dishonesty is just the "cheat code" to get the in game trophy. he rationalizes it in his head as "if it were wrong, why would we have the ability to cheat"?
 

Cwckifan

kiwifarms.net
His insistence that he's really cares about women and their feelings (honest!), coupled with his not-so-subtle disappointment/anger when they don't respond to him as he thinks they should (y'know, even if they're being perfectly congenial). Really, it's hard to be more of a 'nice guy' than that, and is frequent enough to be noted. Granted, he's at least being more honest about his intentions, but still
 

Alec Benson Leary

Creator of Asperchu
Christorical Figure
kiwifarms.net
MysticMisty said:
I imagine his "emotional support" to be along the lines of telling his sweetheart to be quiet and leave him alone because he's playing games after she just found out a close family member died.
"Eugh, yeah I know you're sad dhere, but you found out your dad died dis morning and you've already been crying to me all afternoon! Family Guy is on in less than two hours, whens it gonna stop with you??"

Tubular Monkey said:
The problem is that he is only honest about his selfishness because it never occurs in what passes for his brain that his desires are selfish. If it occurred to him that they sounded selfish, he'd lie about them.
More generally, it's that he so often doesn't realize that anything he does is wrong or morally unacceptable. Mostly he just figures the universe owes him whatever he's going after anyway, so what do the dirty means to an end he uses matter?
 

Anchuent Christory

Socially Awesome and Cool.
kiwifarms.net
___ said:
didn't he one state that he wanted to be a stay at home dad?

Translation: He wants to sit on his ass playing vidya whilst his sweetheart goes out and works to support both of them.
 

Vasilisa

kiwifarms.net
Anchuent Christory said:
___ said:
didn't he one state that he wanted to be a stay at home dad?

Translation: He wants to sit on his ass playing vidya whilst his sweetheart goes out and works to support both of them.

Then the sweetheart will come home from work, exhausted, and find the sink full of dirty dishes and the house filthy. Baby Crystal will be wailing in her crib, hungry and wearing a full, soggy diaper.
 

CatParty

Boo
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Vasilisa said:
Anchuent Christory said:
___ said:
didn't he one state that he wanted to be a stay at home dad?

Translation: He wants to sit on his ass playing vidya whilst his sweetheart goes out and works to support both of them.

Then the sweetheart will come home from work, exhausted, and find the sink full of dirty dishes and the house filthy. Baby Crystal will be wailing in her crib, hungry and wearing a full, soggy diaper.


both chris and crystal with giant mcdonald's sodas next to them
 

Ha-Taque

kiwifarms.net
Da Pickle Monsta said:
I love how Chris claimed to be "wrong, but for the right reasons" (a line he stole from South Park, by the way,) during the Kacey Saga. And this was right after he started pretending to be the other Chris to steal Kacey away from Liquid.
And not only did he stole it, he doesn't even understand the concept behind it. For him is just a excuse that allows him to do as he pleases,
while in the show it was supposed to be a educative speech.
 

Anchuent Christory

Socially Awesome and Cool.
kiwifarms.net
Vasilisa said:
Anchuent Christory said:
___ said:
didn't he one state that he wanted to be a stay at home dad?

Translation: He wants to sit on his ass playing vidya whilst his sweetheart goes out and works to support both of them.

Then the sweetheart will come home from work, exhausted, and find the sink full of dirty dishes and the house filthy. Baby Crystal will be wailing in her crib, hungry and wearing a full, soggy diaper.

But before she gets to any of that she'll have to provide our autistic hero with hanky-panky to relieve all the stress he's suffering from.
 

Thetan

Highly Caffeinated
Christorical Figure
kiwifarms.net
A lot of times when people (OK, trolls pretending to be gal pals) have tried to share their troubles with Chris, he's immediately turned it around and made it all about him. They think they've got it bad? Well, their troubles are nothing compared to the trials and suffering of the great Autistic Hero.

One of the things that sticks out in my mind is his behavior when his Aunt Corinna died. He whined that going to her funeral would make him miss the all-you-can-eat pancake breakfast at his church. Is this the way a 'nice guy' would behave? How would Anna explain this away?

This is just one example of his selfishness and lack of empathy.

Chris sees his friends at best, as enablers, at worst, as his own personal army. His video rantings and Facebook posts make this quite obvious. You're only Chris's friend for as long as you're doing something for him.
 

Henry Bemis

just a fragment of what man has deeded to himself
Retired Staff
kiwifarms.net
Globe said:
I guess his logic is that even if he's not capable of being a provider, he's still a "good" guy that will treat a girlfriend well.

Chris fails to understand that being TRUE and HONEST are not positive traits in and of themselves.

A guy doesn't come home from his office job and say to his spouse "I was honest today." He says, instead, "I told my supervisor the truth, that I made an error in that big project I turned in." Not so many short-term benefits there, to be sure, but your relationships-professional and personal-can survive those blows better than a house of lies when the rug is yanked out from underneath.
 
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